# My boobs are my Saviour. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 8, 2003, 1:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-boobs-are-my-saviour/200197 "2003-09-08T01:42:36Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Papaveraceae](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/e8c25b/32.png) [@Papaveraceae](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Papaveraceae)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2003, 6:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-boobs-are-my-saviour/200197/21 "2003-09-08T18:19:14Z")
I too love my breasts. They are large, (42 DD), soft, silky, and supple. They also catch lost jems and pendants, provide a pillow for my daughter to rest her little head upon, and provide ample distracion for on lookers. They have even gotten me out of trouble a time or two. And they glow under black light. Truly amazing. I worship them by buying pretty bras to support them, rubbing them with sweet oils to nurish them, and lavishing them with sunscreen when I go under the sun. ---
**Author:** ![dinoboy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/65b543/32.png) [@dinoboy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dinoboy)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2003, 6:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-boobs-are-my-saviour/200197/22 "2003-09-08T18:34:20Z")
_dinoboy just sits stunned, mouth agape, starring at the screen… just starring_ :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2003, 6:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-boobs-are-my-saviour/200197/23 "2003-09-08T18:55:04Z")
You’re Magical Boobs of Saving have saved me from a boring assignment. I’m a believer. How shall I worship them? ---
**Author:** ![Casey1505](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dc4da7/32.png) [@Casey1505](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Casey1505)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2003, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-boobs-are-my-saviour/200197/24 "2003-09-08T19:12:34Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by AquaPura \* > \*\*Hmmm, I would have to think about what the sacrements would be, though I think if men would like to join our Holy Order. (The Sisters of the Masssive Boobage) They would have to wear bra’s on their heads, big bras. Those only fit for a goddess. > 😛 \*\* [Prophets?](http://www.sciflicks.com/weird_science/images/weird_science_03.html) ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2003, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-boobs-are-my-saviour/200197/25 "2003-09-08T19:25:52Z")
So… maybe I will start attending Mass. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2003, 9:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-boobs-are-my-saviour/200197/26 "2003-09-08T21:29:53Z")
Hey, have you seen my remote? ---
**Author:** ![lauramarlane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/a5b964/32.png) [@lauramarlane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lauramarlane)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2003, 9:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-boobs-are-my-saviour/200197/27 "2003-09-08T21:38:16Z")
I haven’t found jewelry, but mine seem to catch a lot of food–especially at the movies where it’s dark and I can’t always see very well. Sort of a continental shelf just sitting right there, catching stray pieces of popcorn. So come forth and worship the bounty in my bra! I can guarantee you popcorn and maybe even the occasional M&M–and let me tell you, they may not melt in your hands, but they sure do melt elsewhere! ---
**Author:** ![Psalex](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/439d5e/32.png) [@Psalex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Psalex)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2003, 10:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-boobs-are-my-saviour/200197/28 "2003-09-08T22:09:29Z")
Can smaller girls join as well? Is there a place in your house of worship for an apprentice? Yea though I may walk in the house of the 32C; still I need the support and structure that the sisterhood of boobs can offer. (Smaller girls, say AMEN!) Though my cups do not runneth over, I promise to hold my modest globes on high, if I may join your holy establishment and reap the rewards of crumb catching and man snatching. \*genuflects, finds necklace in cleavage, then presents tiny golden chain to \*\* AquaPura \*\* \* ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2003, 11:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-boobs-are-my-saviour/200197/29 "2003-09-08T23:21:16Z")
I need to make a phone call. Can I search your boobs for quarters? ---
**Author:** ![fizzygoodmakefeelnice](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/8491ac/32.png) [@fizzygoodmakefeelnice](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fizzygoodmakefeelnice)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2003, 11:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-boobs-are-my-saviour/200197/30 "2003-09-08T23:38:32Z")
Your boob_s_ are your _saviour_ - do you have a mono-boob?! Or would be a uni-boob? ---
**Author:** ![lauramarlane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/a5b964/32.png) [@lauramarlane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lauramarlane)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2003, 12:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-boobs-are-my-saviour/200197/31 "2003-09-09T00:20:16Z")
The church of the uniboob worships with sports bras. ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2003, 12:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-boobs-are-my-saviour/200197/32 "2003-09-09T00:21:45Z")
I worship at the holy temple of my wife’s cleavage; for yea, she is a jealous god, and forbids me to worship other boobies. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2003, 1:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-boobs-are-my-saviour/200197/33 "2003-09-09T01:03:08Z")
Lamentably, I arrive late and others have beaten me to some jokes. But yea, let me be the first to volunteer the proper offering. Lo, I shall stand before the alter and tremble at the presence of divinity. I shall shout my devotion. Finally, the joy of the saviour shall fill me to the bursting point. I shall shake as the Spirit moves me. Thus, shall I give to sacred Boobs the true and proper gift. Even as the Boobs have enriched my life, shall I give them an offering symbolizing life itself. From the gift will rise a scent that shall be like incense in the temple. Yea, the gift will adorn the holy Boobs and look like unto a necklace of the finest pearls. ---
**Author:** ![hebesphenomegacorona](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b9e5f3/32.png) [@hebesphenomegacorona](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hebesphenomegacorona)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2003, 1:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-boobs-are-my-saviour/200197/34 "2003-09-09T01:41:47Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by AquaPura \* > \*\*Hmmm, I would have to think about what the sacrements would be, though I think if men would like to join our Holy Order. (The Sisters of the Masssive Boobage) They would have to wear bra’s on their heads, big bras. Those only fit for a goddess. > > Come come now, danceswithcats, hymn number 36 DD is only a training hymn, such as acolytes would sing. The orginal bra of the Savour boobs is 42 DDD so that is the number of the sacred hymn. > All together now, Everyone!!! > > 😛 \*\* What about… 84354736716437746394637467639646364736477249763294613746937463274629373DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD? (Now, how big would those puppies be?..) ---
**Author:** ![Psalex](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/439d5e/32.png) [@Psalex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Psalex)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2003, 1:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-boobs-are-my-saviour/200197/35 "2003-09-09T01:47:33Z")
A pearl necklace?!?! 😃 😃 😃 What better baptism!!! ---
**Author:** ![Wyatt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/b19c9b/32.png) [@Wyatt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wyatt)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2003, 2:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-boobs-are-my-saviour/200197/36 "2003-09-09T02:29:57Z")
I think rather than a sacrament, I’d want to be knighted … _chuckle_ _Your boobies which art like heaven, Hallowed be thy curves. Thy nipples rise and will cause sighs, In the freezer section as well as the bed room. Give us this day your whole display, And forgive us our looking at them, As we forgive you your lowest cut top. Lead us, pretty much anywhere you’d like to with temptation, And deliver us wet T-shirts For thine is magic of sweet curves, the Power of desire, and the salvation of jewelry and popcorn, for ever._ Ahhhhhhh, Women!!! ---
**Author:** ![dewizeowl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/858c86/32.png) [@dewizeowl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dewizeowl)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2003, 2:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-boobs-are-my-saviour/200197/37 "2003-09-09T02:33:05Z")
Amen Sister. Finally a church in which you can find support. Where do I sign up, and what do I have to tithe. ---
**Author:** ![JimSox5](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/b5a626/32.png) [@JimSox5](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JimSox5)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2003, 2:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-boobs-are-my-saviour/200197/38 "2003-09-09T02:36:59Z")
I still vote that we mere mortal men cannot worship properly without some sort of pictoral support. ---
**Author:** ![boobah](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/46a35a/32.png) [@boobah](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/boobah)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2003, 2:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-boobs-are-my-saviour/200197/39 "2003-09-09T02:43:18Z")
DOWN ON YOUR KNEES AND PRAY, BELIEVERS!! sorry, think my husband dialed into the wrong channel there. ---
**Author:** ![Casey1505](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dc4da7/32.png) [@Casey1505](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Casey1505)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2003, 2:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-boobs-are-my-saviour/200197/40 "2003-09-09T02:50:05Z")
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of breasts, I shall fear no evil, for thou art with me. I am Rod\*, and my staff will comfort you. I preparest a bed before you in the presence of mine enemies, I annointest thou with warm, flavored oil, and _your cups runneth over_… \*Name changed to protect the innocent [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-boobs-are-my-saviour/200197.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-boobs-are-my-saviour/200197.md?page=3)