# My boss left suddenly, and I'm sad and tired **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 24, 2023, 12:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-boss-left-suddenly-and-im-sad-and-tired/981590 "2023-03-24T12:10:30Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 13\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![DesertDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/desertdog/32/11503_2.png) [@DesertDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DesertDog)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2023, 6:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-boss-left-suddenly-and-im-sad-and-tired/981590/21 "2023-03-26T06:06:29Z")
> [@DavidNRockies](#): > > I often say that half of your job IS your manager. The good ones are memorable. > > As are the bad ones. People don’t quit jobs, they quit managers. ---
**Author:** ![Alessan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alessan/32/465_2.png) [@Alessan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alessan)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2023, 8:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-boss-left-suddenly-and-im-sad-and-tired/981590/22 "2023-03-26T08:12:07Z")
> [@Skypist](#): > > I am able to text him but am not sure how much to pry. Oh, man, would I love to pry, but he might be smarting, too. I suspect a personality clash. Not sure what that says about what I should do!! “Hey man, what happened? Everything OK? Anything I can do to help?” I mean, you’ve worked with the guy for seven years. You obviously like him. Doesn’t that make you friends, at some level? Can’t you ask a friend what’s going on in his life? ---
**Author:** ![hajario](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hajario/32/171_2.png) [@hajario](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hajario)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2023, 1:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-boss-left-suddenly-and-im-sad-and-tired/981590/23 "2023-03-26T13:26:30Z")
> [@DesertDog](#): > > People don’t quit jobs, they quit managers. I’ve liked the manager of every job I’ve quit. It was always because of something to do with the company or a life circumstance. Thinking about the dozens of anecdotes of people I’ve known, that’s mostly been the case. It’s usually for a better opportunity. ---
**Author:** ![JackieLikesVariety](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackielikesvariety/32/296_2.png) [@JackieLikesVariety](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JackieLikesVariety)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2023, 2:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-boss-left-suddenly-and-im-sad-and-tired/981590/24 "2023-03-26T14:11:28Z")
> [@Skypist](#): > > I think I definitely need the help of a qualified, reputable job coach. I’m thinking about going with the ones at Flex Jobs but want to check into that a bit more before committing. I believe there are job coach associations to look at qualifications. please share what you find out; I am interested! ---
**Author:** ![Skypist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skypist/32/169_2.png) [@Skypist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skypist)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2023, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-boss-left-suddenly-and-im-sad-and-tired/981590/25 "2023-03-26T17:58:08Z")
I have emailed the people at Flex Jobs to ask if their job coaches have any certification. I am guessing not since they don’t say anything about it on their website. I still might be interested in the one that says it’s for career changers. > [@Alessan](#): > > “Hey man, what happened? Everything OK? Anything I can do to help?” > > I mean, you’ve worked with the guy for seven years. You obviously like him. Doesn’t that make you friends, at some level? Can’t you ask a friend what’s going on in his life? I’d say we are friends on some level. We know each other pretty well from a job perspective. I’m not sure how much he’d be willing to tell me, though, about what actually happened. It was probably some kind of argument or disagreement, and apparently he was on the losing end or else he wouldn’t be gone. ---
**Author:** ![Alessan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alessan/32/465_2.png) [@Alessan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alessan)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2023, 6:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-boss-left-suddenly-and-im-sad-and-tired/981590/26 "2023-03-26T18:04:09Z")
> [@Skypist](#): > > I’d say we are friends on some level. We know each other pretty well from a job perspective. I’m not sure how much he’d be willing to tell me, though, about what actually happened. He may or may not answer you, but IMHO it’s still OK to ask. In fact, it’s probably the right thing to do. Look at it from his point of view - he’s lost his job after seven years at least, and the people who used to see him every day don’t even bother to check up on him? If I were him, I’d feel terrible if nobody from work called to see how he was doing. ---
**Author:** ![puzzlegal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/puzzlegal/32/3827_2.png) [@puzzlegal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/puzzlegal)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2023, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-boss-left-suddenly-and-im-sad-and-tired/981590/27 "2023-03-26T18:10:02Z")
He may also have been pressured to sign an agreement not to reach out to his employees. (Probably in exchange for some severance.) He’s at much less risk if you reach out to him than vice versa. ---
**Author:** ![hajario](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hajario/32/171_2.png) [@hajario](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hajario)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2023, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-boss-left-suddenly-and-im-sad-and-tired/981590/28 "2023-03-26T19:02:02Z")
You could just say. “I was sorry to hear the news and I will miss you. You were a great boss.” ---
**Author:** ![DesertDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/desertdog/32/11503_2.png) [@DesertDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DesertDog)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2023, 9:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-boss-left-suddenly-and-im-sad-and-tired/981590/29 "2023-03-26T21:18:16Z")
> [@hajario](#): > > I’ve liked the manager of every job I’ve quit. Well, strictly speaking, the last job I had before retiring it was not the immediate supervisor I had or even the manager above him, but another layer or two above them that made the last year miserable. Perhaps “bosses” would be more encompassing and accurate. ---
**Author:** ![hajario](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hajario/32/171_2.png) [@hajario](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hajario)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2023, 9:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-boss-left-suddenly-and-im-sad-and-tired/981590/30 "2023-03-26T21:23:28Z")
If you’re talking about upper management, we are in agreement. ---
**Author:** ![Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/13edae/32.png) [@Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stranger_On_A_Train)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2023, 10:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-boss-left-suddenly-and-im-sad-and-tired/981590/31 "2023-03-26T22:58:25Z")
> [@hajario](#): > > You could just say. “I was sorry to hear the news and I will miss you. You were a great boss.” That’s a positive but politically/legally neutral message that doesn’t ask any questions or demand a response. If the former manager follows up, great; if not, you’ve left a bridge in place for future reference, recruitment, et cetera. (And that goes both ways; I’ve ended up hiring people I’ve previously worked for or bringing them in as contractors, and it has always been a good working relationship with someone of whose abilities and work ethic I have confidence in.) I’ve had a manager be ‘disappeared’ by upper management with essentially no notice, and while I wasn’t especially close to her she was at least competent, on top of things, and give clear direction. The person who replace her was not a bad guy but he was completely out of his depth and didn’t know where to start, and the lunk above him (who I assume was responsible for the change) was a pompous jerk. When managers disappear suddenly and without explanation it is frequently a red flag for a dysfunctional company culture even if it was voluntary. I’ve never left a position where I oversaw people or worked in a team without at least offering a cursory explanation. Stranger ---
**Author:** ![SharltoCopley](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sharltocopley/32/12309_2.png) [@SharltoCopley](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SharltoCopley)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2023, 12:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-boss-left-suddenly-and-im-sad-and-tired/981590/32 "2023-03-27T00:10:14Z")
> [@Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](#): > > When managers disappear suddenly and without explanation it is frequently a red flag for a dysfunctional company The last company I worked for had a pretty bad performance for five straight months, creating a tense environment with rampant gossiping about what happens now. Management didn’t help the situation, and in fact contributed, through clumsy and awkward announcements, to the deepening sense of insecurity we all felt. This went on for a couple of weeks and then heads started to roll. At the weekly Teams meeting, you could see people disappear one after the other from the meeting’s gallery view. It was so bad that we had a sort of a Yagoda-Yezhov-Beria situation at one point, with three consecutive directors ‘disappearing’ each other. ---
**Author:** ![Skypist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skypist/32/169_2.png) [@Skypist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skypist)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2023, 8:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-boss-left-suddenly-and-im-sad-and-tired/981590/33 "2023-04-03T20:18:35Z")
I texted my former boss the other day, so I know he’s alive, and he knows I miss working with him. But it still really sucks. He hasn’t told me any details. ☹ Things have just gotten worse at work. It’s even more of an emergency than when I first posted. More scrutiny, more meetings, more crap. The Flex Jobs career coaching is going nowhere. They are “sold out” on sessions for the foreseeable future. And not sure where else to turn to in that regard. So I seem to be stuck in an emergency situation. ☹ 🙄 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-boss-left-suddenly-and-im-sad-and-tired/981590.md?page=1)