# My Boy Cracks Me Up (warning: short) **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 20, 2001, 12:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-boy-cracks-me-up-warning-short/77119 "2001-08-20T12:12:23Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 14\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Rue\_DeDay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/41988e/32.png) [@Rue\_DeDay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rue_DeDay)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2001, 11:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-boy-cracks-me-up-warning-short/77119/21 "2001-08-21T11:07:59Z")
This has a high “ick” factor, you might not want to read it. **Snickers** , we tried to keep the dog toys away from Katcha, really we did. He was persistant. Time after time we’d catch him with the chew toys in his mouth, so we’d take them away. He’d make a bee-line for them and _pop_ right back in his mouth. So we picked up the dog toys and only let the dogs actually play with their toys when the littlest boy wasn’t around. We finally gave that up. When Katcha couldn’t get the chew toys, he’d sit in the middle of the floor and wait for Lucy to wander by. He’d bounce around (this was when he was just crawling) to get her attention and lean forward with his mouth open. Lucy would run over and _lick him all over his mouth._ She wasn’t coprophagic, but we still shooed her away. (“Coprophagic” is a big word that means your dog does something gross. That’s all I’m saying.) It was a big game with Katcha. How long can the dog lick my mouth until the folks find out. Chewing on a dog toy was much less gross. He doesn’t get to chew on other dog’s toys. Just our dogs’. He might make them sick. The rest of this should be OK. It’s just “chatty”. **ShibbOleth** no one’s going to shoot your ass. Blue Ash isn’t zoned for livestock though. They might come and cart your ass away. I’va always liked you screen name, by the way. Well not “always”. Since July or so. And you don’t _look_ Irish. (Ha! See? Shibb O’Leth? I crack me up! And **Billy Rubin** , what are you? Yella? Ha! Again I slay me!) **Tequila Mockingbird** which ones of my stories _didn’t_ brighten your day? Why, I’ll have those sorry excuses expunged. Expuged I say! That’s why I post these. To brighten your day. No, really. I think “What can I post to brighten **Tequila Mockingbird** ’s day?” I do it all for you. [sub]Don’t tell **Turbo Dog** , OK?[/sub] (Anyone else that wants my posts to be just for them, they are. Really. [sub]Just don’t tell **Tequila Mockingbird** , OK?[/sub]) -Rue. ---
**Author:** ![Gravity](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gravity/32/14322_2.png) [@Gravity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gravity)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2001, 11:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-boy-cracks-me-up-warning-short/77119/22 "2001-08-21T11:38:23Z")
My three year old nephew is adorable. I’ll have to make do with him since I’m not gonna have any of my own. He has an adorable habit of being loving. I’ve never seen a kid so sweet. About once an hour he comes over and says to my sister “I love you, mommy.” Yesterday, he came over to us and leaned against her and said, “You’re the best mommy I ever had.” Then went back to playing. Just adorable. Of course, two hours later he told her “Oh, that’s OK, mommy. You can go home. I’m gonna stay here and ask Aunt KK if we can go to the place to eat with sticks.” He really does love chinese food. ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/22080_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2001, 1:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-boy-cracks-me-up-warning-short/77119/23 "2001-08-21T13:02:33Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Gravity \* > \*\*… “You’re the best mommy I ever had.” \*\* My Perfect Child[sup]TM[/sup] does something similar - “You’re my favoritest mommy in the whole world” Yeah, yeah, yeah. And in 2 weeks, this will be followed by “Can I borrow the car?” Kids. Gotta love 'em. **Rue** , where did you learn that 50-cent word? I’m guessing it showed up on your word-a-day calendar so you had to work it into the thread… 😃 Remember that I loves ya. It was a joke. Really!! ---
**Author:** ![China\_Guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/779978/32.png) [@China\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/China_Guy)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2001, 1:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-boy-cracks-me-up-warning-short/77119/24 "2001-08-21T13:50:26Z")
Ya know, I was thinking of a puppy from the China Bambina, but y’all talked me out of it. ---
**Author:** ![Rue\_DeDay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/41988e/32.png) [@Rue\_DeDay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rue_DeDay)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2001, 8:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-boy-cracks-me-up-warning-short/77119/25 "2001-08-21T20:57:50Z")
OK. I’m a big, fat liar and a borderline idiot. But I admit it, which is the first step towards getting help. But I’m sticking with my OP. That was about right. With minimal spelling errors. Katcha, while he is 15 months, only weighs 30 pounds. Not 35. So you see, he’s much smaller. He is 34 inches tall though. So that’s like 35 pounds, only one is his height and one is his weight, so it’s completely different. He’s the height of an average 2 year old, and the average weight of a 2 1/2 year old. The pediatrician appointment that I said was next week? That was today. Calendars are so mysterious. Speaking of calendars… **Snickers** , what kind of word-a-day calendar would have “Coprophagic” in it anyway? Whatever kind it is, is one I don’t want. **China Guy** you don’t get a dog _for_ a child. You get one _along with_ a kid. That’s just the way I feel about it. But you said you weren’t getting one anyway, so it doesn’t matter one way or another. **Gravity** I have nothing to add to your anecdote, but I didn’t want you to feel snubbed. What a terribly cute kid! And I mean it too. -Rue. ---
**Author:** ![Spyderman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e79b87/32.png) [@Spyderman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spyderman)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2001, 9:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-boy-cracks-me-up-warning-short/77119/26 "2001-08-21T21:23:08Z")
How about a mini-dopefest at taste of Blue Ash? Or WEBN Fireworks?? ---
**Author:** ![ShibbOleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@ShibbOleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShibbOleth)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2001, 9:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-boy-cracks-me-up-warning-short/77119/27 "2001-08-21T21:33:47Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Spyderman \* > \*\*How about a mini-dopefest at taste of Blue Ash? Or WEBN Fireworks?? \*\* Well, the fireworks are more exciting, but unless one of us has a house with a riverview, then TOBA would probably be easier to actually find people. BTW, I didn’t know you were actually _my_ friendly _neighborhood **Spyderman** _. ---
**Author:** ![Francesca](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/9fc348/32.png) [@Francesca](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Francesca)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2001, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-boy-cracks-me-up-warning-short/77119/28 "2001-08-21T21:34:40Z")
You lied to me **Rue**? I feel shocked and betrayed. You must pay penance by making me PB & J sandwiches [sub]because I’ve never had one[/sub]. Will you cut the crusts off for me? ---
**Author:** ![Rue\_DeDay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/41988e/32.png) [@Rue\_DeDay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rue_DeDay)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2001, 11:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-boy-cracks-me-up-warning-short/77119/29 "2001-08-22T11:38:59Z")
**Puddin’** , I’ll make you a PB&J. I’ll even cut it diagonaly twice, so you have four little sandwich wedges. But I’ll leave the crust on. It makes your hair curly. **ShibbOleth** and **Spyderman** , a mini-Dopefest sounds like a good idea. TOBA sounds like the easier venue. Get a thread started and you’ll probably get a bunch of Dopers. You won’t have to clean your house afterwards either. -Rue. ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/22080_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2001, 12:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-boy-cracks-me-up-warning-short/77119/30 "2001-08-22T12:34:25Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Rue DeDay \* > **what kind of word-a-day calendar would have “Coprophagic” in it anyway? Whatever kind it is, is one I don’t want.** \ Hope I saved that receipt… If I can’t return it, I’ll be stuck with it… ---
**Author:** ![Kopi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/d2c977/32.png) [@Kopi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kopi)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2001, 1:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-boy-cracks-me-up-warning-short/77119/31 "2001-08-22T13:03:35Z")
I WANT TO PLAY WITH RUE! I WANT TO PLAY WITH RUE!!! :::stomping up and down::: ---
**Author:** ![Cherry\_Blossom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e19b73/32.png) [@Cherry\_Blossom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cherry_Blossom)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2001, 1:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-boy-cracks-me-up-warning-short/77119/32 "2001-08-22T13:33:17Z")
I helped raise my little brothers, so I love them to the point that it actually hurts! It doesn’t help that they are so sweet they’ll rot your teeth. The ten year-old (we’ll call him Cornstalk) has reached that gawky stage when you trip over your own feet and knock stuff over with barely any movement. It’s so endearing to watch. He’s getting hit hard by puberty and can’t stand for the rest of the family to show him affection in public, but never has any qualms about running to “Sis” in a crowd and wrapping those mile-long arms around me for a Herculean hug. The seven year-old (Pumpkin) refused to let Mom empty the water from their kiddie pool, since there was a fine crop of tadpoles thriving in the murky water. He got books from the library and searched on the computer to find out what situations and foods are required for a happy crop of frogs. His charges are now the size of the tip of a thumb and have sprouted legs. These kids are so precious to me, they make me tear up. I cannot even imagine what it would be like to have some of my own. You parents are amazing. Of course, I’m only 22 years-old and have plenty of time before warming bottles and changing diapers. Especially now that I’ve already raised a couple. ---
**Author:** ![Rue\_DeDay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/41988e/32.png) [@Rue\_DeDay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rue_DeDay)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2001, 2:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-boy-cracks-me-up-warning-short/77119/33 "2001-08-22T14:17:30Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Kopi \* > \*\*I WANT TO PLAY WITH RUE! I WANT TO PLAY WITH RUE!!! > :::stomping up and down::: \*\* Well, first you’ll have to bring me flowers. A movie and dinner would help too. You won’t have to get me drunk, but a few drinks might… What? Really? Oh. Bring your shovel and pail and I’ll meet you out in the sandbox. I’ll even share my trucks. Brrum, brrrum! No throwing sand though, we’ll get sent to our rooms. -Rue. ---
**Author:** ![elfkin477](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a9a28c/32.png) [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2001, 3:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-boy-cracks-me-up-warning-short/77119/34 "2001-08-22T15:39:28Z")
oh! oh! Can I add a cute little kid story? At one of the day care providers I worked with for NH Reads, there was an adorable little boy, who was about 20 months old. The only problem was that while he could talk, he had this funny growl-ly voice that you wouldn’t expect from a baby- and it was sort of hard to understand him at first. On our second visit, he tugs my hand and tells me someone is in the kitchen. I know the word starts with an “m” so I take a guess and ask him if he meant him mom. He puts his hand on his hip and snaps “No, **Marcus** is in the kitchen. Mommy is _at work_,” and gives me this look like he thinks I’m an idiot for not realizing that. I had all I could do not to burst out laughing; that was the first and only time I’ve seen a toddler cop that sort of attitude. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-boy-cracks-me-up-warning-short/77119.md?page=1)