# My boyfriend doesn't dig me **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 12, 2014, 3:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-boyfriend-doesnt-dig-me/688237 "2014-05-12T03:05:19Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2014, 11:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-boyfriend-doesnt-dig-me/688237/21 "2014-05-12T11:19:57Z")
Anyone who on their own admission can get laid any time they ask nicely is not going to find me brimming over with sympathy here. But I expect I’m in a minority of one here. :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2014, 11:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-boyfriend-doesnt-dig-me/688237/22 "2014-05-12T11:42:07Z")
> [@Malacandra](#): > > Anyone who on their own admission can get laid any time they ask nicely is not going to find me brimming over with sympathy here. But I expect I’m in a minority of one here. :dubious: Ehh, I don’t think that’s fair. Do you really want it from your partner if you feel like s/he is doing you a favor? Or worse, it’s a chore for them? It’s like Al Bundy in real life. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2014, 11:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-boyfriend-doesnt-dig-me/688237/23 "2014-05-12T11:45:54Z")
> [@HoneyBadgerDC](#): > > some guys having too much sex is like eating too much ice cream, they loose their taste for a while. **OP** ; offer some frozen yogurt, if you catch my drift. . . ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2014, 11:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-boyfriend-doesnt-dig-me/688237/24 "2014-05-12T11:46:42Z")
> [@Shakes](#): > > Ehh, I don’t think that’s fair. Do you really want it from your partner if you feel like s/he is doing you a favor? Or worse, it’s a chore for them? > > It’s like Al Bundy in real life. And you don’t think I’ve ever had "Do we _have_ to? :rolleyes: " …? Or, you know, the feeling that it would be a waste of time to even bother asking? I’d take “Sure, honey!” over that in a frozen heartbeat, because, you know, back in the day, I used to be quite the hand at getting the boat rocking once I’d had the OK to put it in the water. But that was then, and that’s another story. ---
**Author:** ![Doctor\_Jackson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doctor_jackson/32/32_2.png) [@Doctor\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doctor_Jackson)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2014, 7:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-boyfriend-doesnt-dig-me/688237/25 "2014-05-12T19:17:13Z")
> [@huitzilopochtli](#): > > He claims that he isn’t interested. But I am. VERY! Well I for one can see how the heat of the moment could be greatly diminished by having to call out “Oh, oh, **huitzilopochtli**!!” ---
**Author:** ![Nikki\_Tikki\_Tavi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/3da27b/32.png) [@Nikki\_Tikki\_Tavi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nikki_Tikki_Tavi)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2014, 7:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-boyfriend-doesnt-dig-me/688237/26 "2014-05-12T19:37:35Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > **OP** ; offer some frozen yogurt, if you catch my drift. . . HA! OP, how old are you two? Is the BF on any meds that could be hampering his sex drive? Lost his job recently? Had any major life changes that might be stressing him out? ---
**Author:** ![Telemark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/telemark/32/372_2.png) [@Telemark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telemark)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2014, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-boyfriend-doesnt-dig-me/688237/27 "2014-05-12T19:49:07Z")
> [@Doctor\_Jackson](#): > > Well I for one can see how the heat of the moment could be greatly diminished by having to call out “Oh, oh, **huitzilopochtli**!!” Gesundheit. ---
**Author:** ![Inna\_Minnit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/5f8ce5/32.png) [@Inna\_Minnit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inna_Minnit)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2014, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-boyfriend-doesnt-dig-me/688237/28 "2014-05-12T19:52:08Z")
Is he tapping his resources with too much porn? ---
**Author:** ![Leaffan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leaffan/32/299_2.png) [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2014, 7:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-boyfriend-doesnt-dig-me/688237/29 "2014-05-12T19:58:19Z")
I didn’t like having sex with my ex for the last few years we were still married. I viewed it as a chore because I really wasn’t into her (no pun intended). If you’re attracted to someone then 4 months without sex is an eternity. If you’re not attracted, it sure doesn’t seem as long and you always come up with excuses as to why tonight isn’t good. I’m not holding out hope for your relationship **huitzilopochtli**. As you said, he doesn’t dig you. I think you should move on. ---
**Author:** ![Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba9def/32.png) [@Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Just_Asking_Questions)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2014, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-boyfriend-doesnt-dig-me/688237/30 "2014-05-12T19:59:29Z")
Does he only drink rainwater and pure grain alcohol? Does he talk about his essence? ---
**Author:** ![Leaffan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leaffan/32/299_2.png) [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2014, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-boyfriend-doesnt-dig-me/688237/31 "2014-05-12T20:10:42Z")
> [@huitzilopochtli](#): > > I might actually go crazy if I can’t get laid soon. He is always willing if I ask nicely. I don’t want nicely. I want sex all of the time! And naughty… I’ll be right over. ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2014, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-boyfriend-doesnt-dig-me/688237/32 "2014-05-12T20:37:19Z")
> [@HoneyBadgerDC](#): > > Thinking back, I had a wife one time for a short while that I did not like making love to. No matter how hard I was pumping her she kept sayiong harder! harder!. That just bugged the shit out of me. As I was reading this response, [here’s the song](http://www.last.fm/music/The+Seeds/_/Pushin%27+Too+Hard) that came up on Ipod shuffle. :eek: ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2014, 9:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-boyfriend-doesnt-dig-me/688237/33 "2014-05-12T21:46:39Z")
> [@Shakes](#): > > Ehh, I don’t think that’s fair. Do you really want it from your partner if you feel like s/he is doing you a favor? Or worse, it’s a chore for them? > > It’s like Al Bundy in real life. But if it weren’t for grudging sex, he’d have no sex at all. ---
**Author:** ![dada2fish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ccd318/32.png) [@dada2fish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dada2fish)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2014, 2:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-boyfriend-doesnt-dig-me/688237/34 "2014-05-13T02:17:57Z")
You’ve only been together for 3 years and already having major sex issues? Not good. Many possibilities here: A) He’s cheating. But you said you doubt it B) He’s not into you anymore. Which covers, possibly that he realizes he’s gay, has a low sex drive due to medication, depression or just not as high a libido as you, (he tried to keep up with you in the sack the last 3 years and finally came to the realization he just can’t fuck as much as you),maybe another woman he knows through work or school and is falling in love with but nothing has happened yet and he feels guilty. or C) I have no idea. You can’t change him and if you can’t live without sex or have to be the one to “ask nicely” all the time and never ever having your lover just take charge and ravage you like a savage in bed, then dump the mutherfucker already. ---
**Author:** ![huitzilopochtli](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e99b99/32.png) [@huitzilopochtli](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/huitzilopochtli)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2014, 3:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-boyfriend-doesnt-dig-me/688237/35 "2014-05-13T03:55:56Z")
I asked nicely last night. It was pretty good ---
**Author:** ![huitzilopochtli](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e99b99/32.png) [@huitzilopochtli](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/huitzilopochtli)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2014, 3:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-boyfriend-doesnt-dig-me/688237/36 "2014-05-13T03:57:15Z")
I guess I can live with that. I’m 39. He’s 46. He doesn’t take any meds. He is healthy. He smokes a lot ---
**Author:** ![huitzilopochtli](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e99b99/32.png) [@huitzilopochtli](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/huitzilopochtli)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2014, 4:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-boyfriend-doesnt-dig-me/688237/37 "2014-05-13T04:00:00Z")
I did have one too many glasses of wine last night. And to be clear, it doesn’t always happen when I ask. But it does it general if I only ask every few months. ---
**Author:** ![Leaffan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leaffan/32/299_2.png) [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2014, 4:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-boyfriend-doesnt-dig-me/688237/38 "2014-05-13T04:13:42Z")
I consider myself to have a low sex drive, but four months? No way. I’d be completely happy with twice a month. I’m almost 52. Maybe I should eat more raw oysters or something. ---
**Author:** ![DataX](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@DataX](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DataX)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2014, 4:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-boyfriend-doesnt-dig-me/688237/39 "2014-05-13T04:15:42Z")
Low testosterone can effect desire (as can other medical things). This is such an easy thing to be tested for - and easy to fix. It might not be the case, but I’d bet there’s at least a 25% chance it is. ---
**Author:** ![Fubaya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c2a13f/32.png) [@Fubaya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fubaya)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2014, 4:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-boyfriend-doesnt-dig-me/688237/40 "2014-05-13T04:37:08Z")
I think I’m gonna need the OP’s phone number to really be able to assist [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-boyfriend-doesnt-dig-me/688237.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-boyfriend-doesnt-dig-me/688237.md?page=3)