# My boyfriend had to admit to me that I was right **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 2, 2010, 6:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-boyfriend-had-to-admit-to-me-that-i-was-right/530970 "2010-03-02T06:06:49Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![congodwarf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e36b37/32.png) [@congodwarf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/congodwarf)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2010, 6:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-boyfriend-had-to-admit-to-me-that-i-was-right/530970/1 "2010-03-02T06:06:49Z")
He had his sleep study tonight. He didn’t finish it. He has to go back. Basically, we have been together since 1999 (except for the 2 year separation). In all that time, I have been telling him that he has severe apnea and that in addition to risking his own life, his snoring and apnea were combining with my insomnia to cause me to suffer as well. He never did anything about it. After I moved back to MA and we started working on our relationship, I told him that if he wants to sleep in the same bed as me, he has to get a physical and actually tell them about his sleeping issues. He did. His boss is an asshole so he had to cancel his first sleep study in January. His rescheduled appointment was tonight. He got all hooked up and went to sleep. He actually managed to fall asleep, which is amazing because he doesn’t generally go to bed until after 1am (he doesn’t have to go to work early most days). Forty minutes after he fell asleep, they woke him up. The sensor that tells what position he’s lying in wasn’t working. Unfortunately, when he does fall asleep early, if you wake him up it’s nearly impossible for him to get back to sleep. The guy running it, I’m assuming he’s a doctor, told him after an hour of not getting back to sleep that they’d have to stop it because they needed a certain amount of time and there wasn’t going to be enough left. BUT and this is the important part, he told my boyfriend that even after only 40 minutes, he could confirm that my bf has a really bad case of apnea, that he has to come back for another study ASAP and that he’ll be on the CPAP as soon as the study is done. YAY!!! I am so happy!! My own sleeping isn’t much of an issue any more. I don’t have a job so when or if I get to sleep isn’t an issue. Lately, even my boyfriend has been very concerned about his sleeping. He frequently wakes up choking and has also choked so hard that it’s caused him to wake up and vomit. We both know he needs to lose weight. He’s 5’11" and weighs about 260. BUT, he had bad apnea when we first met also. He was only 26 then and he only weighed about 190 pounds. So, while the weight is definitely making it worse, it’s not causing the problem. In addition, they’ve been having tracking his thyroid symptoms because he’s always so tired. If we can get his sleeping under control, they might actually be able to figure out which problems he has are being caused by the Hashimoto’s. I can’t even begin to say how happy this makes me. After almost 11 years of trying to get him to take care of this, the end is finally in sight. I finally wont have to worry about my boyfriend dying in his sleep. Best of all, I can finally go back to not wearing headphones to sleep in an attempt to block out the snoring. Oh, he almost didn’t go tonight because he is probably going to have a $600 to $800 copay. I finally convinced him that his life is worth far more than that. His concern was that he still wasn’t convinced he has apnea and he didn’t want to waste the money. The doc said they’re not charging for tonight because of the technical problem. When he goes back in 2 weeks, he knows his money will be well spent because he already has confirmation that he really has a treatable problem. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2010, 6:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-boyfriend-had-to-admit-to-me-that-i-was-right/530970/2 "2010-03-02T06:24:00Z")
Well, that’s good news - the appropriate medical treatment AND you get to be right. 🙂 When I’m right and Jim is massively wrong, he says, “You may be partially right.” Nothing like a gracious loser. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![congodwarf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e36b37/32.png) [@congodwarf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/congodwarf)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2010, 6:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-boyfriend-had-to-admit-to-me-that-i-was-right/530970/3 "2010-03-02T06:30:51Z")
Hahahahaha! That sounds like Adam. He said that he told the doc he wasn’t looking forward to coming home and telling me I was right. The doc said that everyone who shows up for a sleep study is there because their bed mate has forced them to go. ---
**Author:** ![Sticks\_and\_Scones](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sticks_and_scones/32/16951_2.png) [@Sticks\_and\_Scones](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sticks_and_Scones)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2010, 11:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-boyfriend-had-to-admit-to-me-that-i-was-right/530970/4 "2010-03-02T11:31:33Z")
Well good for both of you! I couldn’t live without my CPAP. (literally) Although, losing weight has definitely helped my dependence on it. He will feel so much better once he has one and gets used to it. ---
**Author:** ![Serenata67](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/serenata67/32/10646_2.png) [@Serenata67](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Serenata67)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2010, 1:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-boyfriend-had-to-admit-to-me-that-i-was-right/530970/5 "2010-03-02T13:33:19Z")
> [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > Well, that’s good news - the appropriate medical treatment AND you get to be right. 🙂 > > When I’m right and Jim is massively wrong, he says, “You may be partially right.” Nothing like a gracious loser. 😃 Sounds like all men… my husband included. ---
**Author:** ![interface2x](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/c0e974/32.png) [@interface2x](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/interface2x)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2010, 2:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-boyfriend-had-to-admit-to-me-that-i-was-right/530970/6 "2010-03-02T14:22:57Z")
I’m not so sure what’s strange about this, I admit to my girlfriend that I’m right all the time! ---
**Author:** ![Ellen\_Cherry](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ellen_cherry/32/3600_2.png) [@Ellen\_Cherry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ellen_Cherry)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2010, 2:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-boyfriend-had-to-admit-to-me-that-i-was-right/530970/7 "2010-03-02T14:36:31Z")
**My boyfriend had to admit to me that he was right** You mean that YOU were right, right? ---
**Author:** ![Zsofia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/7bcc69/32.png) [@Zsofia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zsofia)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2010, 2:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-boyfriend-had-to-admit-to-me-that-i-was-right/530970/8 "2010-03-02T14:39:12Z")
MY boyfriend hasn’t got any health insurance, and I kept telling him that he had serious sleep apnea, but he couldn’t afford to do anything about it. So we procured a black market CPAP, which totally fixed it, and BONUS - he doesn’t snore anymore. ---
**Author:** ![congodwarf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e36b37/32.png) [@congodwarf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/congodwarf)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2010, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-boyfriend-had-to-admit-to-me-that-i-was-right/530970/9 "2010-03-02T17:37:08Z")
> [@Ellen\_Cherry](#): > > **My boyfriend had to admit to me that he was right** > > You mean that YOU were right, right? Um…oops. Well now, that’s embarrassing. Could you please fix that for me? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Icarus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/icarus/32/72_2.png) [@Icarus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Icarus)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2010, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-boyfriend-had-to-admit-to-me-that-i-was-right/530970/10 "2010-03-02T17:49:45Z")
> [@congodwarf](#): > > Um…oops. > > Well now, that’s embarrassing. > Could you please fix that for me? 😃 But…but…if they fixed it that would mean you made a mistake, that you were wrong. And all men know that women are never NEVER wrong. Wow, this is a conundrum for the ages. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Skammer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skammer/32/143_2.png) [@Skammer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skammer)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2010, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-boyfriend-had-to-admit-to-me-that-i-was-right/530970/11 "2010-03-02T17:58:59Z")
That’s excellent. You’ll both be much happier when he gets his CPAP. When I did my first sleep study, they woke me up in the middle of the night to fit me for one - my apnea was so bad they didn’t want me to go the rest of the night without treatment. Chances are getting it treated will help with other problems too, like his weight and blood pressure (if that’s a problem). ---
**Author:** ![congodwarf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e36b37/32.png) [@congodwarf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/congodwarf)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2010, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-boyfriend-had-to-admit-to-me-that-i-was-right/530970/12 "2010-03-02T18:03:16Z")
His blood pressure is actually excellent. He does have trouble losing weight. He really shouldn’t be as heavy as he is now. He doesn’t eat excessively. He doesn’t eat a lot of junk food. His job is incredibly physical. He spends his days off working around the house, walking up and down the basement stairs constantly. Basically, he’s NOT a sedentary person with an eating problem. I’m sure the thyroid problem isn’t helping but the lack of decent sleep is surely contributing to his problems. Apparently the doc scheduled him for his second study on a Sunday, two weeks from now. He’s coming in on his day off to do it because otherwise, Adam would have to wait 2-3 months. I really like this doc and I think I want to send him some flowers. ---
**Author:** ![Lanzy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/74df32/32.png) [@Lanzy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lanzy)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2010, 6:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-boyfriend-had-to-admit-to-me-that-i-was-right/530970/13 "2010-03-02T18:14:19Z")
> [@Zsofia](#): > > MY boyfriend hasn’t got any health insurance, and I kept telling him that he had serious sleep apnea, but he couldn’t afford to do anything about it. So we procured a black market CPAP, which totally fixed it, and BONUS - he doesn’t snore anymore. How did you know what setting to use?? They go from 1-20 and the wrong setting can be just as bad as not having one at all! ---
**Author:** ![Lanzy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/74df32/32.png) [@Lanzy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lanzy)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2010, 6:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-boyfriend-had-to-admit-to-me-that-i-was-right/530970/14 "2010-03-02T18:15:43Z")
> [@congodwarf](#): > > Best of all, I can finally go back to not wearing headphones to sleep in an attempt to block out the snoring. Didn’t work that way for my wife, she wears earplugs becasue the CPAP machine bothers her. ---
**Author:** ![Zsofia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/7bcc69/32.png) [@Zsofia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zsofia)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2010, 6:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-boyfriend-had-to-admit-to-me-that-i-was-right/530970/15 "2010-03-02T18:40:14Z")
> [@Lanzy](#): > > How did you know what setting to use?? They go from 1-20 and the wrong setting can be just as bad as not having one at all! Guessed. He decided it was better than ceasing to breathe several times a night. ---
**Author:** ![Ellen\_Cherry](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ellen_cherry/32/3600_2.png) [@Ellen\_Cherry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ellen_Cherry)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2010, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-boyfriend-had-to-admit-to-me-that-i-was-right/530970/16 "2010-03-02T21:22:46Z")
> [@congodwarf](#): > > Um…oops. > > Well now, that’s embarrassing. > Could you please fix that for me? 😃 Ah sure. We’ve all pointed and laughed long enough. 😉 **Ellen Very Mod** ---
**Author:** ![whiterabbit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/cab0a1/32.png) [@whiterabbit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/whiterabbit)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2010, 4:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-boyfriend-had-to-admit-to-me-that-i-was-right/530970/17 "2010-03-03T04:00:32Z")
I have a coworker who finally got one a few months ago. She is…very large. And she’s lost 32 pounds since starting to use it and as far as I can tell is doing _nothing_ differently otherwise. I guess it makes sense that getting no sleep is going to throw your whole body out of whack, on top of other stuff she has going on. She’s also not falling asleep all day and is in generally a much better mood and I don’t worry about her commute. It’s a win all around. She admits that even if it’s a PITA sometimes it’s been well worth it. Her sleep study scared the _crap_ out of the people who ran it – she was years overdue getting the thing. I had no idea there were black-market machines. It does make sense to me, though, whether it’s a good idea or not (I tend to think not), a sleep study and the machine is _expensive_ and I can see why some people would not be able to go that route but really need one. Still…yikes ---
**Author:** ![Sticks\_and\_Scones](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sticks_and_scones/32/16951_2.png) [@Sticks\_and\_Scones](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sticks_and_Scones)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2010, 4:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-boyfriend-had-to-admit-to-me-that-i-was-right/530970/18 "2010-03-03T04:23:57Z")
> [@Lanzy](#): > > Didn’t work that way for my wife, she wears earplugs becasue the CPAP machine bothers her. I borrowed my dad’s old CPAP (which he doesn’t need after losing weight) to keep at my boyfriend’s house. The damn thing sounded like a freight train running through the room at night. Fortunately, for some reason he’d had several CPAPs and a newer one surfaced so that what I’m using at my boyfriend’s house now. I have no idea what it’s set at, but it’s better than nothing and it’s also better than carting the one at my house back and forth twice a week. Lastly, my CPAP at home is the quietest one that I have ever heard. Other than the start-up noise, I don’t ever hear it at all. Consequently it’s the newest one of the bunch. Maybe your wife needs a new machine? ---
**Author:** ![congodwarf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e36b37/32.png) [@congodwarf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/congodwarf)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2010, 4:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-boyfriend-had-to-admit-to-me-that-i-was-right/530970/19 "2010-03-03T04:42:20Z")
So, Adam told his boss about the test and true to form, his boss suddenly has a show on the 14th that he needs Adam to work. The show schedule HAD been clear for the rest of the month, never mind the fact that Adam rarely works Sundays. His boss doesn’t seem to understand that the doctor is coming in on HIS OWN DAY OFF to run this test and that if Adam cancels it, he’ll have to wait another 2 to 3 months for another appointment. Luckily Adam stood up to him and told him that his health comes before his job. We are planning on having the puppies’ obedience training on Sundays since it’s the only day Adam can be confident that he’ll have off. I wonder how many shows his boss will suddenly have on the schedule if we pay for the class. ---
**Author:** ![TimeWinder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bcef8e/32.png) [@TimeWinder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TimeWinder)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2010, 5:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-boyfriend-had-to-admit-to-me-that-i-was-right/530970/20 "2010-03-03T05:59:34Z")
> [@Sticks\_and\_Scones](#): > > Maybe your wife needs a new machine? Seconded. The newer CPAPs aren’t silent, but they basically sound like someone vacuuming three or four rooms away. The older ones sound like someone vacuuming on your face. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-boyfriend-had-to-admit-to-me-that-i-was-right/530970.md?page=2)