# My boyfriend is on drugs (may be long, rambling) **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [January 15, 2012, 2:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-boyfriend-is-on-drugs-may-be-long-rambling/609600 "2012-01-15T14:58:17Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 15\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2013, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-boyfriend-is-on-drugs-may-be-long-rambling/609600/81 "2013-02-08T18:16:37Z")
**Tupac,** you really need to read the whole thread. Not only did she dump him over a year ago, she just found out he died from an overdose. ---
**Author:** ![R3d\_Anonymous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/aeb1de/32.png) [@R3d\_Anonymous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/R3d_Anonymous)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2013, 6:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-boyfriend-is-on-drugs-may-be-long-rambling/609600/82 "2013-02-08T18:20:33Z")
I am…speechless… ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2013, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-boyfriend-is-on-drugs-may-be-long-rambling/609600/83 "2013-02-08T19:13:49Z")
(( **amaguri** )) I’m glad that you didn’t go any further along his path than you had to. Smart girl. I’m sorry for your pain and hope you will be okay. ---
**Author:** ![panaccione](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/94ad74/32.png) [@panaccione](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panaccione)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2013, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-boyfriend-is-on-drugs-may-be-long-rambling/609600/84 "2013-02-08T19:38:46Z")
[quote=“runner pat, post:81, topic:609600”] **Tupac,** you really need to read the whole thread. Not only did she dump him over a year ago, she just found out he died from an overdose.[/QUO Yeah, I just saw that. Please disregard anything I said. Thats my mistake. Amaguri, I’m really sorry to hear that. I’m not sure what to say at this point. Don’t beat yourself up because it’s not your fault. It sounds like you cared and did what you could and had to do. ---
**Author:** ![Rachellelogram](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rachellelogram/32/8689_2.png) [@Rachellelogram](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rachellelogram)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2013, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-boyfriend-is-on-drugs-may-be-long-rambling/609600/85 "2013-02-08T20:37:32Z")
I’m sorry, that’s such an unfortunate outcome. Especially for such a young person. ☹ But, as I’m sure you already know, there was nothing you could do for him. You can’t save an addict from himself. It still really sucks, though. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![TruCelt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/trucelt/32/523_2.png) [@TruCelt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruCelt)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2013, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-boyfriend-is-on-drugs-may-be-long-rambling/609600/86 "2013-02-08T20:46:32Z")
{{{{Amiguri}}}} The biggest of interweb hugs coming your way. You did everything you could possibly have done. You were one of the few in his life who stood up to him and made it clear that he was on the wrong path. Even if his friends and family had presented a united front though, the chances were always slim. I’m so sorry you had to lose someone you loved in this manner. It’s horrible thing to watch, and doubly so when you have known and loved the pre-addiction personality. I hope the paina nd anger fade quickly,a d leave you in peace with the good memories at the fore. Your grace and ---
**Author:** ![Steken](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e274bd/32.png) [@Steken](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Steken)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2013, 10:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-boyfriend-is-on-drugs-may-be-long-rambling/609600/87 "2013-02-08T22:26:50Z")
How horrible. So sorry for you. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![dada2fish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ccd318/32.png) [@dada2fish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dada2fish)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2013, 10:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-boyfriend-is-on-drugs-may-be-long-rambling/609600/88 "2013-02-08T22:42:15Z")
I am new to this thread and just read it from the beginning to end. Amiguri, I just read your update and said, “woah!” out loud. Yep, drug overdoses happen every day so it shouldn’t be surprising. You saved yourself a year of misery and manipulation and protected your heart from his death as best as you could. (does that make sense?) You handled this in the best way you possibly could. I wish you the best in life and strong healthy love from the next relationship. ---
**Author:** ![Cinnamon\_Imp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/58956e/32.png) [@Cinnamon\_Imp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cinnamon_Imp)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2013, 8:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-boyfriend-is-on-drugs-may-be-long-rambling/609600/89 "2013-02-09T20:06:42Z")
> [@amaguri](#): > > Forgive the zombie thread… just found out my ex died this week. Heroin overdose. He hasn’t been a part of my life in over a year but I am both ridiculously angry and heartbroken about this. He was so, so young. I know there was nothing more I could do but I am really … holy cow. holy cow. Oh hell. My condolences ☹ You were right, there was nothing more you could do. You protected yourself, you passed on your concerns to his family, this was not your fault. _hugs_ if you appreciate them. ---
**Author:** ![lorene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/65b543/32.png) [@lorene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lorene)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2013, 12:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-boyfriend-is-on-drugs-may-be-long-rambling/609600/90 "2013-02-10T00:21:50Z")
> [@MissSwitac](#): > > I am new to this thread and just read it from the beginning to end. Amiguri, I just read your update and said, “woah!” out loud. Yep, drug overdoses happen every day so it shouldn’t be surprising. You saved yourself a year of misery and manipulation and protected your heart from his death as best as you could. (does that make sense?) > You handled this in the best way you possibly could. I wish you the best in life and strong healthy love from the next relationship. Everything you wrote here is true for me. Shit, **amaguri** , that is awful. You did the right thing at the time. It sucks to have been right, though, as I know from my own few rounds with a heroin addict. Did you end up seeing a counselor for yourself? Don’t be surprised if your emotions and reactions continue to roller-coaster over the next bit of time. Get yourself some support. ---
**Author:** ![Napier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ce73a5/32.png) [@Napier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Napier)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2013, 2:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-boyfriend-is-on-drugs-may-be-long-rambling/609600/91 "2013-02-10T14:52:18Z")
Amaguri, I am so sorry to hear about this thing that you have gone through, and sorry for him and his family too. Your OP ended with “I am well and truly heartbroken. When he was sober, he was a wonderful boyfriend. We had our issues like all couples do, but I’ve never been happier. And now, nothing.” OK, I note what you are saying. But I think this is a nice time to take some stock. You seem to have handled the whole thing perfectly, and it is a VERY difficult thing to get right. This is a pretty huge life experience, which trains you in the ability to see and comprehend and navigate things most people will miss - not just addiction issues, but a bigger sense of life and death. I think this is something to take some satisfaction in, something to notice, even though his addiction and death, per se, is a gigantic sad senseless loss. You can do more with life now, specifically because of what YOU have been through, horrible as it was. And yes I get that it was horrible. It absolutely was. Congratulations on getting it right and being more alive than ever. ---
**Author:** ![Helena330](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/helena330/32/531_2.png) [@Helena330](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Helena330)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2013, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-boyfriend-is-on-drugs-may-be-long-rambling/609600/92 "2013-02-10T18:27:41Z")
Amaguri, I also just read the entire thread and am shocked and saddened by how it turned out. I’m so very sorry. I know it doesn’t feel like it, but you did all you could. There wasn’t anything more you could’ve done for him. Actually, you were probably one of the best things that ever happened to him. He couldn’t resist heroin in the end, but with you he had a good life between periods of using. That’s pretty special. ---
**Author:** ![lavenderviolet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/cdc98d/32.png) [@lavenderviolet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lavenderviolet)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2013, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-boyfriend-is-on-drugs-may-be-long-rambling/609600/93 "2013-02-10T18:56:58Z")
> [@amaguri](#): > > Forgive the zombie thread… just found out my ex died this week. Heroin overdose. He hasn’t been a part of my life in over a year but I am both ridiculously angry and heartbroken about this. He was so, so young. I know there was nothing more I could do but I am really … holy cow. holy cow. I had a bad feeling that this might be the reason why this thread was bumped. ☹ Sorry to hear that this happened. It truly is a tragedy that he wasn’t able to make a lasting recovery, but it does sound like you handled this as well as anyone could. If he had wanted to be sober, I’m sure you would have helped him, but you can’t force it on someone who doesn’t want it. ---
**Author:** ![lavenderviolet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/cdc98d/32.png) [@lavenderviolet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lavenderviolet)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2013, 11:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-boyfriend-is-on-drugs-may-be-long-rambling/609600/94 "2013-02-10T23:30:01Z")
You might also want to ask a mod to edit the subject line to note that there is a sad update to the story so people know before they comment on the original post. ---
**Author:** ![PandaBear77](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/edb3f5/32.png) [@PandaBear77](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PandaBear77)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2013, 11:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-boyfriend-is-on-drugs-may-be-long-rambling/609600/95 "2013-02-10T23:47:35Z")
_hugs_ I’m sorry, hon. Not surprised, but I know you still cared about him. You did the right thing, though. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-boyfriend-is-on-drugs-may-be-long-rambling/609600.md?page=4)