# My boyfriend wants me to talk more during sex... **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [February 10, 2010, 6:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-boyfriend-wants-me-to-talk-more-during-sex/528453 "2010-02-10T18:25:48Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Algorithm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/algorithm/32/12204_2.png) [@Algorithm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Algorithm)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2010, 12:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-boyfriend-wants-me-to-talk-more-during-sex/528453/61 "2010-02-11T00:23:03Z")
> [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](#): > > What’s the difference between not wanting to do something, and having discomfort with it? It’s like food. There are some things that I like, some I am tepid on, some I don’t like, and some things I refuse to eat. I’m not a huge fan of honey mustard, so generally I’d opt to eat something else. But if it’s the only thing available I’d have no problem eating it. However, if there was blue cheese dressing on a salad, I wouldn’t even consider eating it unless I had been without food for weeks. Regardless of which is offered, I wouldn’t fault someone for doing so if they didn’t know my feelings on either. Likewise, there are a handful of things I like sexually, some I could go either way on, some I don’t like (but would try or consider if asked to), and some I’ll refuse outright. I could see someone coming to a message board for advice on activities in the second two categories, and I find it reasonable for a partner to ask for something they want, at least once. ETA: The above food analogy oughtn’t to be taken to mean I’ll try any sex act if I’ve been without sex long enough. ---
**Author:** ![Inter\_Alia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/258eb7/32.png) [@Inter\_Alia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inter_Alia)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2010, 12:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-boyfriend-wants-me-to-talk-more-during-sex/528453/62 "2010-02-11T00:35:09Z")
[QUOTE=Snnipe 70E] He is trying to connect with you. [/QUOTE] You’re right, he is. It isn’t that he wants me to talk dirty, he just wants to know what I’m thinking - is she enjoying this, am I hitting the right spot, etc. Getting me off helps him get off. To everyone else, I want to to let you all know he’s not badgering, bullying, or even begging. He just wants verbal feedback on what he’s doing. I’d like to be able to give that to him. He wants me to be happy, and I want to try to do this to make him happy. ---
**Author:** ![fubbleskag](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c2a13f/32.png) [@fubbleskag](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fubbleskag)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2010, 12:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-boyfriend-wants-me-to-talk-more-during-sex/528453/63 "2010-02-11T00:39:58Z")
Why do you insist on humouring him when he does this? ---
**Author:** ![Tristan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tristan/32/18058_2.png) [@Tristan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tristan)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2010, 12:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-boyfriend-wants-me-to-talk-more-during-sex/528453/64 "2010-02-11T00:51:15Z")
Porn Starlet Katie Morgan says that when she’s supposed to be talking all raunchy she just basically states whatever the dude is doing in an enthusiastic manner… “Yeah, fuck my pussy! You’re fucking my pussy! YEAH!” ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2010, 1:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-boyfriend-wants-me-to-talk-more-during-sex/528453/65 "2010-02-11T01:19:56Z")
**Inter Alia** : I like dirty talking in bed, and I definitely get what you’re saying about it not being “dirty” talking he wants as much as feedback. I think you can start with one- or two-syllable stuff. The following can go a long way: “Yes” “Yeah” “More” “Mmm good” “Don’t stop” “Oh God” And having him say stuff that elicits a response is a good idea. As far as people telling you not to try it since you’re not comfortable–oh, puh-leez! There is no possible down-side to at least trying to be a little more verbally responsive. And learning to do express yourself verbally during sex is likely to lead to greater satisfaction for both parties. Besides, it’s hot. > [@appleciders](#): > > If you find that you’ve started a sentence that would be awkward, strange, or hilarious to finish, just cut yourself off with a moan. I have employed this strategy on more than one occasion. 🙂 > [@Hypno-Toad](#): > > Find out what his interests are and tailor your comments on that. If he plays Pokemon, yell, “I CHOOSE YOU!” Oh baby, fill up my Pokedex. ---
**Author:** ![Satchmo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/satchmo/32/4223_2.png) [@Satchmo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Satchmo)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2010, 1:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-boyfriend-wants-me-to-talk-more-during-sex/528453/66 "2010-02-11T01:21:23Z")
My ex would sometimes say things like: “Oh SATCH! You’re so … adequate!” 🙂 Also, a buddy of mine said his girlfriend could sound just like Chewbacca, but only while they were having sex. So, whatever you say will probably be better. ---
**Author:** ![outlierrn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/outlierrn/32/3005_2.png) [@outlierrn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/outlierrn)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2010, 5:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-boyfriend-wants-me-to-talk-more-during-sex/528453/67 "2010-02-11T05:35:54Z")
I cannot believe that 2 pages into this and nobody has posted the Kate purple-headed-womb-ferret Winslet link. [![](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/DPTV8PZo-Tc/hqdefault.jpg "Kate Winslet - Extras !") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DPTV8PZo-Tc) ETA: OP take your time, ease into it, have fun and talk with him outside the bedroom as well. I, for one, love to hear a woman say she’s about to come. ---
**Author:** ![ralph124c](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/8797f3/32.png) [@ralph124c](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ralph124c)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2010, 4:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-boyfriend-wants-me-to-talk-more-during-sex/528453/68 "2010-02-11T16:17:08Z")
Oh God…Oh God…it feels so good…do it again… …Did I leave the stove on?😃 ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2010, 4:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-boyfriend-wants-me-to-talk-more-during-sex/528453/69 "2010-02-11T16:21:06Z")
> [@Green\_Bean](#): > > Oh baby, fill up my Pokedex. Okay, who here is gonna be the brave one that does an internet search for “Pokemon porn”? I’m too chicken myself. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2010, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-boyfriend-wants-me-to-talk-more-during-sex/528453/70 "2010-02-11T17:18:05Z")
> [@Snnipe\_70E](#): > > The times that I have been able to connect with my wife have left a lasting effect. I want to do things for her to please her. Why do some men think of sex all the time. Because they are thinking of the one they love. … and how mad the one I love would be if she knew who I was fantasizing about. 😃 > [@](#): > > You’re right, he is. It isn’t that he wants me to talk dirty, he just wants to know what I’m thinking - is she enjoying this, am I hitting the right spot, etc. Getting me off helps him get off. > > To everyone else, I want to to let you all know he’s not badgering, bullying, or even begging. He just wants verbal feedback on what he’s doing. I’d like to be able to give that to him. He wants me to be happy, and I want to try to do this to make him happy. Write him a note when you get done so he’ll know for next time! I think one of the problems with dirty talk is that we men don’t really get what women mean when they say, “right there!” or “that feels great!”, etc. You want us to keep doing whatever we’re doing. We think, “well if she likes it now, she’ll love it if I do the same thing faster/harder”. But generally you won’t (or so I’m told). ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2010, 5:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-boyfriend-wants-me-to-talk-more-during-sex/528453/71 "2010-02-11T17:54:54Z")
> [@LurkerInNJ](#): > > It’s not so much what you say, but the enthusiasm with which the line is delivered. What initially feels stupid to say is going to sound mighty hot to him. “I’m… I’m… I’m _NOT GONNA PAY A LOT FOR THIS MUFFLER_!” ---
**Author:** ![Chessic\_Sense](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7c8e57/32.png) [@Chessic\_Sense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chessic_Sense)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2010, 6:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-boyfriend-wants-me-to-talk-more-during-sex/528453/72 "2010-02-11T18:20:04Z")
“Work it harder!”, “Make it better!”, “Do it faster!”, “Make us stronger, more than ever!”, and then you can get him really excited by telling him that you want to take a long time with him. Something like, I dunno, “an hour after, our work is never over”. Try that. Avoid doing what I did once. Do NOT tie an American flag around your shoulders, assume the Captain Morgan pose naked, lick your lips and go “Boink me, baby.” (True story) ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2010, 6:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-boyfriend-wants-me-to-talk-more-during-sex/528453/73 "2010-02-11T18:39:59Z")
_Now_ you tell me. ---
**Author:** ![melodyharmonius](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/melodyharmonius/32/21310_2.png) [@melodyharmonius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/melodyharmonius)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2010, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-boyfriend-wants-me-to-talk-more-during-sex/528453/74 "2010-02-11T19:00:43Z")
> [@Chessic\_Sense](#): > > Avoid doing what I did once. Do NOT tie an American flag around your shoulders, assume the Captain Morgan pose naked, lick your lips and go “Boink me, baby.” (True story) I assume you meant to add “if you are a male” - cause you know us chicks could totally pull that off. ---
**Author:** ![Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b38774/32.png) [@Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Attack_from_the_3rd_dimension)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2010, 7:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-boyfriend-wants-me-to-talk-more-during-sex/528453/75 "2010-02-11T19:29:57Z")
> [@Chessic\_Sense](#): > > “Work it harder!”, “Make it better!”, “Do it faster!”, “Make us stronger, more than ever!”, and then you can get him really excited by telling him that you want to take a long time with him. Something like, I dunno, “an hour after, our work is never over”. “Complete the 5 year plan in four years!” ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Fight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/90ced4/32.png) [@Cat\_Fight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Fight)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2010, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-boyfriend-wants-me-to-talk-more-during-sex/528453/76 "2010-02-11T19:36:54Z")
> [@outlierrn](#): > > ETA: OP take your time, ease into it, have fun and talk with him outside the bedroom as well. I, for one, love to hear a woman say she’s about to come. The only problem with this is that for some women, things have got to be just right for them to come, and sometimes that involves being quiet (themselves and, occasionally, their partner has to shut up, too). So if this guy needs constant updates to get off, it could actually prevent her from getting off. Then again, IMHO purely audio porn would do really well in the female market, and often it’s the horrible squealing/clichéd dirty talk/bad acting that makes mainstream porn unbearable. Though it does sound like a big part of it is just breaking out of that shell where you’ve had to masturbate quietly for years as a teen or you’re still embarrassed by ‘sex sounds’ and voicing pleasure. Hope everything works out! ---
**Author:** ![Gymnopithys](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/fbc32d/32.png) [@Gymnopithys](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gymnopithys)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2010, 8:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-boyfriend-wants-me-to-talk-more-during-sex/528453/77 "2010-02-11T20:06:47Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > I agree, except I would say “OMG.” Probably better to say “oh my god.” Leave the 'Net speak out of the bedroom. **Orgasm** Mega Giga ! ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2010, 9:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-boyfriend-wants-me-to-talk-more-during-sex/528453/78 "2010-02-11T21:46:20Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > “Faster, baby!” > > Yeah, faster! > > “Harder!” > > Um… OK. > > “Deeper!” > > 😕 Quoth a comic whose name I misremember now, “A girl who shouts ‘deeper’ better want _philosophy_.” ---
**Author:** ![astorian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ad7895/32.png) [@astorian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astorian)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2010, 10:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-boyfriend-wants-me-to-talk-more-during-sex/528453/79 "2010-02-11T22:25:13Z")
> [@CalMeacham](#): > > Or you can do soliloquys from Shakespeare. Pepper Mill is partial to reciting “The Quality of Mercy is not Strained” Well, that provoketh and it unprovoketh… ---
**Author:** ![jsc1953](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/5daacb/32.png) [@jsc1953](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jsc1953)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2010, 11:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-boyfriend-wants-me-to-talk-more-during-sex/528453/80 "2010-02-11T23:15:46Z")
> [@Rafe\_Hollister](#): > > I still remember Stephanie saying, “OH Yeah!! That’s the stuff!” while I was eating her. Hmmm. Sounds more like what a pitching coach would say when his pitcher throws a particularly nasty curveball. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-boyfriend-wants-me-to-talk-more-during-sex/528453.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-boyfriend-wants-me-to-talk-more-during-sex/528453.md?page=5)