I grew up in a household where you gave guests your bed, your room, the best food, whatever. I now run my house that way. Invited or not, your best friends or not, whatever. You take the high road. You don’t decide what they “should” or “should not” do. You just accept, be tolerant, be loving, be open. It’s a much better way to live, in my opinion, than the other way (they’re guests; they get the crap bed; they should get a hotel). It makes for more happiness, it breeds contentment rather than discontentment. It’s treat others how you would want to be treated. I am really glad I was raised like that. I’m really glad I’m raising my kids like that. That’s all I have to say.
I dunno; people I don’t like not being in my house breeds contentment for me.
YMMV. By the way, can I stay for a couple weeks in the summer? Just the master bedroom will be fine.
35 and 24.
Well, that is what we are doing. Doesn’t mean I have to be happy about it, nor does it mean I can’t mention it to random strangers on the internet.
ick about the idea of unexpected guests. Just do what I do. Hug them and thank them for coming. They are the ones who rasied your SO and he loves them. Well…maybe he doesn’t, but appearances do count.
Feed them often and well. Its hard to complain when mouths are full of good food.
My ex in-laws used to show up at midnight (or 1-2-3 in the morning) on a random Tuesday (or W.T. F…[yes, that acronym is totally on target in this situation]). No warning.
They lived 320 miles away.
We did have somewhat of an early warning system as they would stop at her sister’s house about 90 miles from us every few times they came to stay. She would call, let it ring twice so it came up on caller ID, then hang up. We knew what that meant.
Drove me f’in nuts.
Then, one fine weekend, they showed up on a Saturday. We were out of town. 350 miles in the other direction. 
They actually had to break down and get a motel. IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT!!! How dare us! To be gone from home on a weekend???
They called after that. A whole 7-10 hours in advance. Woo Hoo. :rolleyes:
I was expecting a much older difference. Huh.
Agreed. I should have clarified that mine was a general comment, not necessarily directed at the OP. I have just seen a variety of attitudes on the Dope toward houseguests, and it seems like there is a strain of selfishness with regards to one’s castle out there in some Dopers.
TravisFromOR, I hope the weekend is going better than you anticipated that it would.
Yeah…I don’t understand either. Who got thrown out of the house, BF or Dad? And what “one thing” is Dad?
Agreed. Barring an emergency (like a flood or fire) there isn’t any excuse for just “inviting” yourself to stay over for the weekend. It’s just rude, plain and simple.
Is that because you don’t have a guest bedroom? Personally I would feel uncomfortable staying in someone else’s room whilst they slept elsewhere.
Just popping in to mention that my Google Ad says ‘Alcoholic Daughter?’. Guess that’s who’s most likely to show w/ no notice and be unwelcome…yeah, I can see that.
This makes me glad that Mr. Sali and I both come from long lines of disgruntled loners who never even call to talk on the phone, much less drop in to stay with us. And even when faraway relatives do manage to find their way to this area, I only hear about it after the fact, or they call at the last minute and invite us to meet them for dinner. In the next city, 50 miles away. At night. During a blizzard.
I like the ‘keep positive’ suggestions. Be a good host, keep your cool, and when they leave you will feel extra extra good about it!
It went fine. Went out to eat a few times, I was able to hole up in my office quite a bit–I had paperwork to do and all.
It was actually pretty enjoyable.
Well, at least you’re not judgemental about people who are different from you. 
Yay! No bodies to have to clean up!
Which part? It seems to make sense to me.
olivesmarch4th, I am so grateful that his parents are wonderfully welcoming.
And I see no reason to open my castle to everyone, or indeed, anyone. It’s my castle, that’s what it means. His parents are always welcome - but they would never come without notice. My mom is passed away, but my parents were not welcome - and that is because, given the opportunity, they would barge right in and start changing things. When I lived with a roomate right after college, they wanted to go through my roomie’s room and my mom even tried to open the door and go in. :eek: They do not respect barriers.
It’s great for you, tesseract, that that’s how you like to live your life. But on the same token, you should be willing to live and let live and accept that other people do not feel that way, and that’s OK.
It’s confusing for two reasons: 1. Is the offering of milk a cultural thing? 2. If you’re Indian and you’re boyfriend is Indian, one would think your mother would be MORE accepting of him, not less.
Let’s see if I can help, feel free to throw the dictionary at me if I got it wrong (I’ll appreciate it if you miss - or at least use the softcover copy).
“How about my parents? I am Indian, my then-boyfriend was Indian. One day that the boyfriend came by, Dad politely offered him milk; Mom went into a screaming fit and threw the boyfriend out of the house (she didn’t throw Dad out of the house, but he was in the doghouse for yoinks). Now, I can see them getting pissed over a non-Indian boyfriend, since they harped about that time and again and gave me a lot of pain when I started dating current-boyfriend, but seriously, WTF?”
I still don’t get it.
Well, judging by what she’s mentioned about her mother before, I think that not getting 'mika’s mom is a sign of a normal mind.
Did Mom have a screaming fit because Dad offered him milk? Or were the two events unrelated?