# My Brother Is Getting Divorced For The 8th Time **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 21, 2005, 9:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-brother-is-getting-divorced-for-the-8th-time/317963 "2005-08-21T09:02:43Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 16\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2005, 4:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-brother-is-getting-divorced-for-the-8th-time/317963/41 "2005-08-22T16:00:47Z")
I think your brother is either excellent at keeping secrets, or a fabulous salesman. How else can you explain his getting women #6, #7, and #8 to marry him, knowing how many failed marriages he’d had? Either they didnt know about the previous wives (at least not all of them), or else he had them convinced that things with them would truly be different. ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2005, 4:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-brother-is-getting-divorced-for-the-8th-time/317963/42 "2005-08-22T16:53:58Z")
I knew a woman that had been married 9 times. The fact that I made her my mother-in-law reflects badly on judgement doesn’t it? ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Moto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9de0a6/32.png) [@Mr.Moto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Moto)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2005, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-brother-is-getting-divorced-for-the-8th-time/317963/43 "2005-08-22T17:32:08Z")
You know, my grandfather was married to my grandmother for 35 years, until he was widowed. He later remarried, and that marriage lasted until his death - 37 years later. My other set of grandparents were married for 49 years. Again, only the death of my grandfather ended this relationship. My parents have been married for 38 years, so far. So why, with countless examples like this around, do some gay activists concentrate on bad marriages, serial marriages, or infidelity? Do you really think these traits are confined only to heterosexuals? Won’t some gays also make a mess of their marriages, people being what they are? Disparaging marriage as an institution, or even the use some unfortunate people have put to it, seems a strange tactic for people seeking access to this same institution. Better, I think, to look at long, successful marriages and argue for the right to have a long, successful one yourself. ---
**Author:** ![iamthewalrus\_3](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/258eb7/32.png) [@iamthewalrus\_3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iamthewalrus_3)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2005, 6:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-brother-is-getting-divorced-for-the-8th-time/317963/44 "2005-08-22T18:08:44Z")
> [@Ruby](#): > > Another thought. Does he insist on a prenup before each of his marriages? That has to cost a fortune since you can only split your assets in half so many times before all you have left is the toaster. Depending on the state, he may only have to split assets gained during the marriage. So marrying 8 times wouldn’t be any worse financially than marrying once for a longer period. ---
**Author:** ![Mehitabel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8797f3/32.png) [@Mehitabel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mehitabel)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2005, 7:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-brother-is-getting-divorced-for-the-8th-time/317963/45 "2005-08-22T19:03:58Z")
I support gay marriage myself, but I just wanted to point out that most of the opponents to it I know would ALSO oppose what they would call the OP’s brothers abuse of the privilege. They might see his serial sacraments as a disrespect of the insitution as bad as gay marriage, but reluctantly feel that there’s no way, aside from stricter divorce laws, to stop people from marrying that often, while with gay marriage you can nip that in the bud. Again, I have no trouble with gay marriage myself, just saying that disapproval of it doesn’t necessarily mean you’re OK with the straight Britneys of the world either. ---
**Author:** ![Siege](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dbc845/32.png) [@Siege](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siege)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2005, 10:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-brother-is-getting-divorced-for-the-8th-time/317963/46 "2005-08-22T22:02:08Z")
> [@Mr. Moto](#): > > Disparaging marriage as an institution, or even the use some unfortunate people have put to it, seems a strange tactic for people seeking access to this same institution. Better, I think, to look at long, successful marriages and argue for the right to have a long, successful one yourself. That is exactly what I usually do. An old friend of mine, one of the finest, most decent people I know, has been with his partner for over a decade now, and yet people expect me to believe that he is somehow less moral or more of a threat to marriage than, say, Senator Bob Barr, author of the Defense of Marriage act, who has been married 3 times. During the past year and a half, I’ve had the joy of falling in love with a wonderful man. I’ve held hands with him, hugged him, even kissed him in public. I know how happy he makes me; for that matter, I know how happy my parents make each other after over 40 years of marriage. I also know how happy my friend and his partner make each other. Yet, of these three relationships between good, honorable people, only one is seen as a threat to marriage, morality, and common decency. My sense of common decency says that can’t be right. CJ ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2005, 10:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-brother-is-getting-divorced-for-the-8th-time/317963/47 "2005-08-22T22:32:20Z")
> [@Mr. Moto](#): > > So why, with countless examples like this around, do some gay activists concentrate on bad marriages, serial marriages, or infidelity? Do you really think these traits are confined only to heterosexuals? Won’t some gays also make a mess of their marriages, people being what they are? Because the argument being put forward by our opponents is that letting gays marry will **destroy** marriage. To such an idiotic argument, it seems entirely proper to point out the immense amount of damage straight people try to inflict on the institution on a daily basis, with no apparent success. If marriage as an institution can survive **DMark** ’s brother, it can certainly survive **DMark** himself. > [@](#): > > Disparaging marriage as an institution, or even the use some unfortunate people have put to it, seems a strange tactic for people seeking access to this same institution. Better, I think, to look at long, successful marriages and argue for the right to have a long, successful one yourself. How about we do both? We take a long, successful marriage like the one in which **DMark** is currently involved, and contrast it with someone who cannot keep a marriage together to save his life, like **DMark** ’s brother, and then ask the obvious question: why does society sanction one and not the other, when by any reasonable standard the far more stable, loving, and succesful marriage is the one with two guys in it? Oh, and speaking of obvious questions, who in this thread (or in the gay marriage movement at large, for that matter) has disparaged marriage as an institution? ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2005, 6:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-brother-is-getting-divorced-for-the-8th-time/317963/48 "2005-08-23T06:27:04Z")
> [@Askia](#): > > Who said anything about better, or limiting his bigamy to two women? Clearly his goal is to run through as many marriages as possible before he dies. He should quit screwing around and quintuple up up. Ah, I see. But does that count as one marriage, or five? A new thought occurs to me, **DMark** : perhaps your brother is having an affair with his divorce lawyer and needs continuous new cases because he can’t think of a better excuse to see the lawyer? Or maybe it’s the family court judge? ---
**Author:** ![jellyblue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e480ec/32.png) [@jellyblue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jellyblue)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2005, 6:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-brother-is-getting-divorced-for-the-8th-time/317963/49 "2005-08-23T06:52:13Z")
Congratulations **DMark** and **DMark’s Man**! My Reason for Living ™ and I are getting “hitched” in October and I can’t wait to have been with her for 25 years (I’ll be…omg, I don’t even want to think about how old I’ll be!) - I’m so happy to have found her. Wishing you both the best on your special day and always 🙂 . ---
**Author:** ![SolGrundy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bbce88/32.png) [@SolGrundy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SolGrundy)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2005, 6:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-brother-is-getting-divorced-for-the-8th-time/317963/50 "2005-08-23T06:55:58Z")
> [@Mr. Moto](#): > > Disparaging marriage as an institution, or even the use some unfortunate people have put to it, seems a strange tactic for people seeking access to this same institution. Better, I think, to look at long, successful marriages and argue for the right to have a long, successful one yourself. Wait, I thought you wanted gay people to have just civil unions, ostensibly because it would’ve been helpful to your aunt or something like that. Which is it? ---
**Author:** ![ExTank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/35a633/32.png) [@ExTank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ExTank)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2005, 10:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-brother-is-getting-divorced-for-the-8th-time/317963/51 "2005-08-23T10:23:26Z")
**DMark:** tell your brother “9th time’s a charm,” and that no one likes a quitter. ---
**Author:** ![butler1850](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/779978/32.png) [@butler1850](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/butler1850)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2005, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-brother-is-getting-divorced-for-the-8th-time/317963/52 "2005-08-23T20:49:20Z")
> [@Strinka](#): > > Henry VIII only got married six times. > > Did your brother behead any of his wives? You must not be old enough to remember the song by Herman’s Hermits. “She’s been married 7 times before… And every one was an 'Enery. 'ENERY!” Congrats to the OP for such a long term relationship. Even coming from a long line of married folks, that kind of time amazes me. I’m on my first, 8 years together this Sept, 6 of them married. If she leaves me, besides being broke (she’s a paralegal), I’m just getting a good hunting dog, and I’m going to turn into that “wierd guy with the cats.” 😃 -Butler ---
**Author:** ![lisacurl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/41988e/32.png) [@lisacurl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lisacurl)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2005, 9:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-brother-is-getting-divorced-for-the-8th-time/317963/53 "2005-08-23T21:51:15Z")
> [@DMark](#): > > Yes, you would think these women might wonder about his commitment history, but my guess is that he never tells them exactly how many times he has been married. Don’t know for sure, but I wouldn’t put it past him to have “forgotten” about a few marriages to clean up his love resume. My hub had to have certified copies of both of his divorce decrees in order for us to get a marriage license. (Yeah, I’m number three.) ---
**Author:** ![Morgyn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/morgyn/32/3041_2.png) [@Morgyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgyn)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2005, 10:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-brother-is-getting-divorced-for-the-8th-time/317963/54 "2005-08-23T22:19:15Z")
> [@butler1850](#): > > You must not be old enough to remember the song by Herman’s Hermits. > > “She’s been married 7 times before… > And every one was an 'Enery. 'ENERY!” > > Congrats to the OP for such a long term relationship. Even coming from a long line of married folks, that kind of time amazes me. > > I’m on my first, 8 years together this Sept, 6 of them married. If she leaves me, besides being broke (she’s a paralegal), I’m just getting a good hunting dog, and I’m going to turn into that “wierd guy with the cats.” 😃 > > -Butler Has anyone else ever wondered about that “widow next door”? She’s been married and widowed **seven** times, and she never marries anyone who isn’t named Henry. Sounds like a serial killer to me! ---
**Author:** ![SusanStoHelit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/7ab992/32.png) [@SusanStoHelit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SusanStoHelit)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2005, 10:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-brother-is-getting-divorced-for-the-8th-time/317963/55 "2005-08-23T22:23:01Z")
> [@Morgyn](#): > > Has anyone else ever wondered about that “widow next door”? She’s been married and widowed **seven** times, and she never marries anyone who isn’t named Henry. Sounds like a serial killer to me! It took me a long time to get the pun. As a kid, I thought that Henry the VIII had actually married a 7x widowed woman. _Wouldn’t take a Willie or a Sam Sam, sam, sam I’m the eigth old man I’m 'Enery 'ENERY! 'Enery the eighth I am I am_ ---
**Author:** ![pesch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pesch/32/4925_2.png) [@pesch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pesch)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2005, 2:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-brother-is-getting-divorced-for-the-8th-time/317963/56 "2005-08-24T02:28:01Z")
Reading this brings to mind the thought that letting gays marry may have the effect of improving the percentage of successful marriages overall. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-brother-is-getting-divorced-for-the-8th-time/317963.md?page=2)