# My brother likes to tell me to "suck it" whenever I talk to him **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [June 30, 2010, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-brother-likes-to-tell-me-to-suck-it-whenever-i-talk-to-him/545098 "2010-06-30T18:46:21Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![UncleRojelio](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/unclerojelio/32/3160_2.png) [@UncleRojelio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleRojelio)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2010, 8:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-brother-likes-to-tell-me-to-suck-it-whenever-i-talk-to-him/545098/21 "2010-06-30T20:06:39Z")
No snacks. ---
**Author:** ![legalsnugs](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/45deac/32.png) [@legalsnugs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/legalsnugs)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2010, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-brother-likes-to-tell-me-to-suck-it-whenever-i-talk-to-him/545098/22 "2010-06-30T20:08:34Z")
Maybe it’s just his little way of coming out to the rest of the family? Just let him know that while you’re supportive of his lifestyle, you don’t bat for that team – not that there’s anything wrong with that. ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2010, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-brother-likes-to-tell-me-to-suck-it-whenever-i-talk-to-him/545098/23 "2010-06-30T20:08:42Z")
“Queer.” ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2010, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-brother-likes-to-tell-me-to-suck-it-whenever-i-talk-to-him/545098/24 "2010-06-30T20:09:12Z")
In other words, what **legalsnugs** said? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![bordelond](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bordelond/32/150_2.png) [@bordelond](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bordelond)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2010, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-brother-likes-to-tell-me-to-suck-it-whenever-i-talk-to-him/545098/25 "2010-06-30T20:12:27Z")
> [@crazyjoe](#): > > Or something along the variation of “I’d be afraid it would just fall right off, being so tiny and all…” _“I don’t want that caught in my teeth!”_ ---
**Author:** ![StGermain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stgermain/32/2868_2.png) [@StGermain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StGermain)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2010, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-brother-likes-to-tell-me-to-suck-it-whenever-i-talk-to-him/545098/26 "2010-06-30T20:26:21Z")
“I would if I could find it!” StG ---
**Author:** ![Tom\_Scud](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f08c70/32.png) [@Tom\_Scud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tom_Scud)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2010, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-brother-likes-to-tell-me-to-suck-it-whenever-i-talk-to-him/545098/27 "2010-06-30T20:31:01Z")
> [@Caveat\_lector\_1](#): > > The response that immediately came into my my head would be to say “No, that would be incest and incest is wrong.” In a very matter of fact tone. I like this one. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2010, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-brother-likes-to-tell-me-to-suck-it-whenever-i-talk-to-him/545098/28 "2010-06-30T20:31:08Z")
“No thanks, I would prefer not to suck your dick.” I wouldn’t worry about being vulgar in front of his son; he apparently isn’t. ---
**Author:** ![moldybread](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ea924/32.png) [@moldybread](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/moldybread)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2010, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-brother-likes-to-tell-me-to-suck-it-whenever-i-talk-to-him/545098/29 "2010-06-30T20:39:39Z")
Say “Wow you and your wife are so demanding today” ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2010, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-brother-likes-to-tell-me-to-suck-it-whenever-i-talk-to-him/545098/30 "2010-06-30T20:43:10Z")
> [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](#): > > In other words, what **legalsnugs** said? 😉 Yeah, but cruder and without all that chit chat. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Second\_Stone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bbe5ce/32.png) [@The\_Second\_Stone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Second_Stone)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2010, 8:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-brother-likes-to-tell-me-to-suck-it-whenever-i-talk-to-him/545098/31 "2010-06-30T20:45:22Z")
Sure, your wife keeps it in her purse, I’ll go get it. ---
**Author:** ![Zsofia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/7bcc69/32.png) [@Zsofia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zsofia)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2010, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-brother-likes-to-tell-me-to-suck-it-whenever-i-talk-to-him/545098/32 "2010-06-30T20:49:48Z")
> [@Chessic\_Sense](#): > > I wouldn’t feel right insulting the size of his dick either, seeing as how that’s mostly genetically determined. So relative insults and body insults are off the table. How about “your wife” comments or something like that? Maybe “doesn’t your priest do that for you?” So insulting his religion is okay, but insulting his penis is off the table. Just checking. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2010, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-brother-likes-to-tell-me-to-suck-it-whenever-i-talk-to-him/545098/33 "2010-06-30T20:51:26Z")
I’d use a much more offensive pejorative along the lines of what **MeanOldLady** said. And **Cat Whisperer** , I can tell you don’t have much experience with male banter of this sort. OP, don’t say what she suggested. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![spoike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/da6949/32.png) [@spoike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/spoike)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2010, 9:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-brother-likes-to-tell-me-to-suck-it-whenever-i-talk-to-him/545098/34 "2010-06-30T21:39:57Z")
“Sorry, Dude. I choke on small bones.” ---
**Author:** ![Maeglin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8baadc/32.png) [@Maeglin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maeglin)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2010, 9:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-brother-likes-to-tell-me-to-suck-it-whenever-i-talk-to-him/545098/35 "2010-06-30T21:47:54Z")
You have to buy me jewelry, first. ---
**Author:** ![Oakminster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/77aa72/32.png) [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2010, 9:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-brother-likes-to-tell-me-to-suck-it-whenever-i-talk-to-him/545098/36 "2010-06-30T21:52:09Z")
> [@Cross](#): > > Sounds like he watches too much pro wrestling. Hit him with a steel chair. And as he writhes in pain to hide his blade job, you get your heat by doing crotch chops while standing on the turnbuckle. ---
**Author:** ![ToeJam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/dfb087/32.png) [@ToeJam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ToeJam)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2010, 11:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-brother-likes-to-tell-me-to-suck-it-whenever-i-talk-to-him/545098/37 "2010-06-30T23:29:29Z")
“Okay” Proceed to pretend to make a motion to fellate him. Either he will recoil away OR it will get you close enough to proceed with Phase two of your plan: Phase Two: Loudly proclaim “Nut check!” and follow it up with the aforementioned nut check (a flick of the wrist/quick jab to the nuts). For added meanness, teach his son the art of the nut check, and try to see if you can get the son to give his old man a shot to the nuts as well. Beware- employing this tactic is like using a nuke- once you’ve launched it, there’s no going back to friendly grounds after this- both of you will live in fear of the nut check, and both of you will have to constantly be on your guard- for both of you are males, and have the same weakness, and he WILL want revenge… they always do. But consider it your end game plan, if you can’t take it anymore, just go for the nut check, and try to protect yourself from that day forwards, because revenge will be coming… Hence the added bonus goal of trying to teach his son to try to do it- make the old man live in fear of his own offspring! ---
**Author:** ![In\_Winnipeg](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/a8b319/32.png) [@In\_Winnipeg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/In_Winnipeg)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2010, 12:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-brother-likes-to-tell-me-to-suck-it-whenever-i-talk-to-him/545098/38 "2010-07-01T00:11:50Z")
“Give me a magnifying glass and I’ll see if I can find it first.” ---
**Author:** ![In\_Winnipeg](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/a8b319/32.png) [@In\_Winnipeg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/In_Winnipeg)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2010, 12:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-brother-likes-to-tell-me-to-suck-it-whenever-i-talk-to-him/545098/39 "2010-07-01T00:21:25Z")
“Okay, but you’ll have to demonstrate first.” ---
**Author:** ![Uncle\_Brother\_Walker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/f08c70/32.png) [@Uncle\_Brother\_Walker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uncle_Brother_Walker)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2010, 2:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-brother-likes-to-tell-me-to-suck-it-whenever-i-talk-to-him/545098/40 "2010-07-01T02:19:35Z")
I don’t remember this exactly, but here goes: \ Incest is best! Put your sister to the test! \ [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-brother-likes-to-tell-me-to-suck-it-whenever-i-talk-to-him/545098.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-brother-likes-to-tell-me-to-suck-it-whenever-i-talk-to-him/545098.md?page=3)