# My brother passed on last night **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 5, 2003, 1:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-brother-passed-on-last-night/173165 "2003-05-05T13:04:53Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Francesca](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/9fc348/32.png) [@Francesca](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Francesca)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2003, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-brother-passed-on-last-night/173165/41 "2003-05-05T20:01:18Z")
My thoughts are with you and I wish you strength in this difficult time. Take care of yourself. ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2003, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-brother-passed-on-last-night/173165/42 "2003-05-05T20:04:57Z")
Thanks everyone for your kind words, they mean a great deal to me. Today when sitting at the funeral home ( Tom had a pre-arranged funeral, so we just had to take care of little details like obit stuff, head stone and how long for visitation.) I know that my role in the entire affair is to help my mom and be her strength. It also helps that my mom’s sister has shouldered a tremendous amount of this too. Together, we make a great team in crisis situations. I can honestly say that between the prayers and good thoughts ( and a small little pill called prozac 😉 ) from everyone here really help me focus on the situation. Now, I just have a supreme case of the fidgets. I hate this part, which is followed by insomnia. **Shayna** IRL, I am Joan. Again, thanks. This place means a great deal to me. It is a haven of compassion in the insanity of this crazy world. ---
**Author:** ![irishgirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/8edcca/32.png) [@irishgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/irishgirl)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2003, 8:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-brother-passed-on-last-night/173165/43 "2003-05-05T20:20:56Z")
You have my condolences Shirley, and lots of good thoughts and prayers. Your family is in my thoughts, i pray for comfort and strength for all of you. ---
**Author:** ![Shayna](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/shayna/32/17976_2.png) [@Shayna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shayna)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2003, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-brother-passed-on-last-night/173165/44 "2003-05-05T20:26:18Z")
Warm Hugs, **{{Joan}}**. And in case you or anyone else is wondering about my reference to cooking a nice fat cow for your mother, it came from the thread you posted in March about Tom being back in ICU… > [@](#): > > [http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?postid=3168883#post3168883](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?postid=3168883#post3168883) > > I told her that " I asked my internet friends to keep you and Tom in their thoughts and prayers." > > My mom, the humorous escaped nun, " Oh? Are they all catholic?" > > " It’s a mixed lot of good hearted people. If you want, I can arrage to have somebody sacrifice a goat or something if you think it would help." > > Chuckling, " A goat, no, but a nice fat cow would be nice. Though I don’t want to cook it. 🙂 " So hopefully between the Prozac, the prayers and the nice, fat cow, you guys’ll pull through just fine! ---
**Author:** ![Rebo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rebo/32/13005_2.png) [@Rebo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rebo)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2003, 9:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-brother-passed-on-last-night/173165/45 "2003-05-05T21:08:30Z")
Big hugs for you and your Mom, Shirley. I’m so sorry for your loss. ---
**Author:** ![\_Deep\_F\_ied](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/_/7cd45c/32.png) [@\_Deep\_F\_ied](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/_Deep_F_ied)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2003, 9:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-brother-passed-on-last-night/173165/46 "2003-05-05T21:33:51Z")
A follow up hug for **{{{Joan}}}** ---
**Author:** ![Tiburon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e36b37/32.png) [@Tiburon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tiburon)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2003, 9:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-brother-passed-on-last-night/173165/47 "2003-05-05T21:49:05Z")
Shirley, my best to your and yours. My heart goes out to you. Tibs. ---
**Author:** ![Cosmopolitan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/94ad74/32.png) [@Cosmopolitan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cosmopolitan)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2003, 9:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-brother-passed-on-last-night/173165/48 "2003-05-05T21:55:48Z")
My condolences and good thoughts go out to you and yours. ---
**Author:** ![DaToad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/67e7ee/32.png) [@DaToad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DaToad)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2003, 10:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-brother-passed-on-last-night/173165/49 "2003-05-05T22:00:40Z")
Sorry to hear the news **Shirley**. My deepest sympathy to you and your family. Take care, DT ---
**Author:** ![rocking\_chair](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rocking_chair/32/2918_2.png) [@rocking\_chair](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rocking_chair)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2003, 10:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-brother-passed-on-last-night/173165/50 "2003-05-05T22:05:46Z")
oh shirley, i’m so very sorry. i hope that you and your mom find comfort and peace. may his memory be eternal. ---
**Author:** ![Flamsterette\_X](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/41988e/32.png) [@Flamsterette\_X](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flamsterette_X)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2003, 10:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-brother-passed-on-last-night/173165/51 "2003-05-05T22:17:39Z")
I’m very sorry, **Shirley**. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![elelle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f0a364/32.png) [@elelle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elelle)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2003, 10:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-brother-passed-on-last-night/173165/52 "2003-05-05T22:22:12Z")
Best thoughts and prayers to your family, Shirley. Though your mom has had so much pain and grief with your brothers’ sad fates, she is also blessed with an extraordinarily wonderful daughter. All care and strength to you. ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2003, 10:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-brother-passed-on-last-night/173165/53 "2003-05-05T22:37:55Z")
I wish I could think of words of comfort, words of strength, in the face of something like this. But they fail me now, other than simply to secons what **Polycarp** and **Brynda** have said. {{{{{Shirley}}}}} ---
**Author:** ![Polycarp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/82dd89/32.png) [@Polycarp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Polycarp)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2003, 12:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-brother-passed-on-last-night/173165/54 "2003-05-06T00:01:06Z")
**Shayna** , quoting **Shirley Ujest** in the interior quote, said: > [@](#): > > Warm Hugs, {{Joan}}. > > And in case you or anyone else is wondering about my reference to cooking a nice fat cow for your mother, it came from the thread you posted in March about Tom being back in ICU… > > > [@](#): > > > > [http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb...883#post3168883](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb...883#post3168883) > > > > I told her that " I asked my internet friends to keep you and Tom in their thoughts and prayers." > > > > My mom, the humorous escaped nun, " Oh? Are they all catholic?" > > > > " It’s a mixed lot of good hearted people. If you want, I can arrage to have somebody sacrifice a goat or something if you think it would help." > > > > Chuckling, " A goat, no, but a nice fat cow would be nice. Though I don’t want to cook it. " > > So hopefully between the Prozac, the prayers and the nice, fat cow, you guys’ll pull through just fine! Back in the OP, Joan said of Tom: “He never married. Had no children. Had no friend.” I beg to differ. This thread is on its second page of condolences and sympathy for a man none of us ever met, but whose sister has been an intimate part of our lives for months and in some cases years. I’m typing this comment on a computer that was a gift from Dopers, using power and in a rented house part of the money to pay for which came from Dopers. Tom had a lot of friends, through his sister and the miracle of the Internet. He just happens never to have met any of them on Earth. And we’ve always had the question of what we do for interfaith celebrations, sacrifices, etc. “Killing the fatted calf” is an old Biblical metaphor; the goat thing is both a part of Judaism and a tongue-in-cheek pagan allusion. So the next time we need to say what the Christians and pagans and everything-elses of this board are going to join in virtually, whether in serious or joking context, it’ll be, following Joan’s mother’s idea, “sacrificing a nice, fat cow.” And in memory of Tom, we will call it “offering up Tom’s cow.” ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2003, 12:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-brother-passed-on-last-night/173165/55 "2003-05-06T00:55:52Z")
Poly, you are a gem. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Khadaji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Khadaji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khadaji)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2003, 1:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-brother-passed-on-last-night/173165/56 "2003-05-06T01:05:58Z")
That is a deep sadness. Nothing that I can say will ease the pain. However, know that you are in my thoughts. ---
**Author:** ![newcrasher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/b3f665/32.png) [@newcrasher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/newcrasher)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2003, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-brother-passed-on-last-night/173165/57 "2003-05-06T01:10:53Z")
Please know that in a small suburb of Richmond, VA, you, your brothers and your Mom are being sent prayers and love. ---
**Author:** ![Rasa](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rasa/32/3578_2.png) [@Rasa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rasa)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2003, 1:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-brother-passed-on-last-night/173165/58 "2003-05-06T01:12:46Z")
So sorry, **Shirley**. Your family is in my thoughts. Namaste. ---
**Author:** ![Persephone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecc23a/32.png) [@Persephone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Persephone)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2003, 3:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-brother-passed-on-last-night/173165/59 "2003-05-06T03:19:52Z")
(((Joan))) You and yours are in my thoughts and prayers. You and I don’t live all that far away from each other. Let’s shake off the kids and have lunch sometime. Much love, Cristi ---
**Author:** ![Pixiesnix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/898d66/32.png) [@Pixiesnix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pixiesnix)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2003, 5:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-brother-passed-on-last-night/173165/60 "2003-05-06T05:01:29Z")
I am so sorry, **Shirley**. My prayers are with you and your family. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-brother-passed-on-last-night/173165.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-brother-passed-on-last-night/173165.md?page=4)