# My Browser is stuck on the SDMB

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-browser-is-stuck-on-the-sdmb/127972>\
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\
**Created:** [September 11, 2002, 2:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-browser-is-stuck-on-the-sdmb/127972 "2002-09-11T14:52:45Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 20\
**Page:** 1

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**Author:** ![ResIpsaLoquitor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b3f665/32.png) [@ResIpsaLoquitor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ResIpsaLoquitor)\
**Post date:** [September 11, 2002, 2:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-browser-is-stuck-on-the-sdmb/127972/1 "2002-09-11T14:52:45Z")

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I’m confused. Seriously, my browser keeps taking me to the SDMB no matter what link I click on. I go to check Fox news…I get the SDMB. I go to check ESPN…I get the Dope. The Onion? The Dope. [TheForce.net](http://TheForce.net)? The Dope. Amazon? The Dope.

I can think of a few possible explanations:

-Cecil has conquered the internet. Every web site is now part and parcel of the SDMB. The Chicago Reader now owns Matt Drudge.  
-My laptop has become sentient. It enjoys reading the Dope and is forcibly taking me back there.  
-Flamsterette X or leechbabe or somebody is upset that my postings have declined lately (hey, it’s a rough semester) to infect my computer with a virus, again forcing me to perpetually revist the Dope.  
-Some Greek god has put a curse on me. Or a boon…your pick. Come to think of it, a curse would probably just perpetually send me to the Pit.

Your explanations for why my browser is f\*\*\*ed are welcome. In the meantime, I guess I’m posting here a lot more often.

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**Author:** ![dantheman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dantheman/32/9421_2.png) [@dantheman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dantheman)\
**Post date:** [September 11, 2002, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-browser-is-stuck-on-the-sdmb/127972/2 "2002-09-11T15:32:43Z")

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It does this even if you close the browser and reopen?

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**Author:** ![Ennui](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ennui/32/3396_2.png) [@Ennui](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ennui)\
**Post date:** [September 11, 2002, 3:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-browser-is-stuck-on-the-sdmb/127972/3 "2002-09-11T15:44:39Z")

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Does anyone else have access to your system? I played a trick on a friend once and edited his host file so that all his bookmarks took him to an Amish porn site. No matter if he typed the addy manually or even clicked an existing link, Amish porn all around.

Just a possibility.

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**Author:** ![xash](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/c6cbf5/32.png) [@xash](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/xash)\
**Post date:** [September 11, 2002, 4:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-browser-is-stuck-on-the-sdmb/127972/4 "2002-09-11T16:50:04Z")

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have a look at your hosts file…

what OS are you running ? which browser/version ?

and, why are you complaining ? 😃

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**Author:** ![Eutychus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Eutychus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eutychus)\
**Post date:** [September 11, 2002, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-browser-is-stuck-on-the-sdmb/127972/5 "2002-09-11T20:37:08Z")

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I, for one, fail to see a problem here.

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**Author:** ![ResIpsaLoquitor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b3f665/32.png) [@ResIpsaLoquitor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ResIpsaLoquitor)\
**Post date:** [September 11, 2002, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-browser-is-stuck-on-the-sdmb/127972/6 "2002-09-11T20:39:35Z")

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Well, this would be the point where the female Dopers start incessantly flirting with me in order to distract my annoyance with a busted browser…

Incidentally, I rebooted the computer and it’s working fine now. Go figure.

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**Author:** ![CrankyAsAnOldMan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crankyasanoldman/32/11670_2.png) [@CrankyAsAnOldMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CrankyAsAnOldMan)\
**Post date:** [September 11, 2002, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-browser-is-stuck-on-the-sdmb/127972/7 "2002-09-11T20:49:08Z")

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I’d go pound on Talking Head, just blindly assuming he is the culprit.

Ignore any protestations of innocence. He’s got a devilish grin so it’s just sure to be him.

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**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\
**Post date:** [September 11, 2002, 8:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-browser-is-stuck-on-the-sdmb/127972/8 "2002-09-11T20:58:57Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by ResIpsaLoquitor \*  
> **Well, this would be the point where the female Dopers start incessantly flirting with me in order to distract my annoyance with a busted browser…**

Well, why didn’t you say so, big guy?

It makes my heart go pitter-patter for a man to be brave enough to admit a piece of technology has him at its mercy…it shows sensitivity and a willingness to share his emotions.

But then you fix it, you big brute of a man, which shows you can think on your feet and solve problems without calling tech support.

Tell me…did you break into a sweat when you rebooted? Did your t-shirt cling to your molded muscular chest?

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**Author:** ![World\_Eater](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f04885/32.png) [@World\_Eater](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/World_Eater)\
**Post date:** [September 11, 2002, 9:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-browser-is-stuck-on-the-sdmb/127972/9 "2002-09-11T21:13:28Z")

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Alright, we’re still waiting for you to tell us the secret.

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**Author:** ![Triskadecamus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b19c9b/32.png) [@Triskadecamus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Triskadecamus)\
**Post date:** [September 11, 2002, 9:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-browser-is-stuck-on-the-sdmb/127972/10 "2002-09-11T21:18:01Z")

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Wow, how convienient. The wonders of modern technology never cease to amaze me.

Tris

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**Author:** ![Flamsterette\_X](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/41988e/32.png) [@Flamsterette\_X](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flamsterette_X)\
**Post date:** [September 11, 2002, 10:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-browser-is-stuck-on-the-sdmb/127972/11 "2002-09-11T22:52:41Z")

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This explains a couple of things that I was wondering about a while ago:

**TalkingHead** told me that **Res** had smacked him earlier. Now I know that he was just taking **Cranky** ’s suggestion.

**Res** told me that he’d started a thread sort of designed to get me to flirt with him, but that I apparently hadn’t taken the chance yet. I told him I’d check it after I got done with email, whenever that would be. So if this is his idea of that kind of thread, I wouldn’t say it was that bad. 😃

I have never said anything to anybody about how I feel about your posting less since school started; hey, I understand you’re busy and all. 🙂 For the record, it doesn’t matter overmuch for me, since I know you’re busy. I do miss seeing you about the boards and all, but I know it’s not entirely out of your own volition that you’ve taken a break. Pressures of school, and all. As for what **TalkingHead** told you yesterday about his being concerned that you don’t talk to me much anymore, I’m not concerned about that at all.

In fact, I did not do anything to your browser or laptop to make them make you “Straight Dope everything,” as my brother put it last week to me. I know nothing about remote control of hardware devices, and I’m not sure that I can remotely control either your browser or laptop. Not that I would want to, in any case. If I did, you’d know it. (zany references to inside jokes, the Richmond Crew[sup]TM[/sup], etc.)

As for flirting, I see **ivylass** has taken care of it for me. But when you told me that you were 25 pounds lighter, my first thought was that it better not have been all muscle mass. So why don’t you come here and show us your stuff? That would indeed be something special. 🙂

By the way, how will I know if you’ve managed to infiltrate my Red Robin’s birthday dinner next week? (I know you’re planning to, your being in Ann Arbor immaterial) Will I have any signs of it, or not?

F\_X

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**Author:** ![ResIpsaLoquitor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b3f665/32.png) [@ResIpsaLoquitor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ResIpsaLoquitor)\
**Post date:** [September 11, 2002, 11:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-browser-is-stuck-on-the-sdmb/127972/12 "2002-09-11T23:13:38Z")

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**Cranky** : Consider him smacked.

**Ivylass** : Pretty much everything you described occured, except that afterwards, I wiped my brow on a cool beer, leapt onto a strong white horse, and let my long, luxurious mane flow in the breeze as I galloped in the sunset off to your home, where I plan to take you to atop a moonlit peak.

**World Eater** , I would, except an old wizard in a giant hat told me to keep it secret and safe.

**Flami** , my response will appear outside your home in the form of giant crop circles. Have a few glasses of water handy around your home.

And yeah, the browser’s still working fine…although now I’m just keeping it open on the SDMB. See…I’ve got an appropriate mix of responsibility and freedom here.

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**Author:** ![Flamsterette\_X](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/41988e/32.png) [@Flamsterette\_X](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flamsterette_X)\
**Post date:** [September 12, 2002, 10:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-browser-is-stuck-on-the-sdmb/127972/13 "2002-09-12T22:35:42Z")

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**Res** , I have no idea how crop circles will manage to appear in an apartment complex. Sure, we have plenty of grass outside, and a school with lots of green field space right across from us (plus Minoru Park not very far away), but crop circles appearing there? I’d say I didn’t think they’d appear under those conditions, but I have the utmost faith in you. I know you’ll be there in spirit, then bug me about it later. 😃

Oh, and I have plenty of water (and other liquids) available. And sure, did I just not go shopping for some bottled water and other incidentals? (juice, black cherry cola, groceries in general, etc.)

F\_X

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**Author:** ![Scotticher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9c0ed/32.png) [@Scotticher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scotticher)\
**Post date:** [September 13, 2002, 1:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-browser-is-stuck-on-the-sdmb/127972/14 "2002-09-13T01:01:56Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Ennui \*  
> \*\* I played a trick on a friend once and edited his host file so that all his bookmarks took him to an Amish porn site. No matter if he typed the addy manually or even clicked an existing link, Amish porn all around. \*\*

Wait just a minute here…are you seriously telling me that there is an Amish porn site? I mean…an AMISH PORN SITE? I just can’t see it. Well, I don’t actually WANT to see it, but…really?

On second thought, nevermind. I don’t want to know. 😃

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**Author:** ![dantheman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dantheman/32/9421_2.png) [@dantheman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dantheman)\
**Post date:** [September 13, 2002, 1:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-browser-is-stuck-on-the-sdmb/127972/15 "2002-09-13T01:08:09Z")

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I do! I wanna know!

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**Author:** ![Scotticher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9c0ed/32.png) [@Scotticher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scotticher)\
**Post date:** [September 13, 2002, 1:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-browser-is-stuck-on-the-sdmb/127972/16 "2002-09-13T01:54:05Z")

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Yer such a slut, dear…and I mean that in the best possible way.

😃

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**Author:** ![dantheman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dantheman/32/9421_2.png) [@dantheman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dantheman)\
**Post date:** [September 13, 2002, 2:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-browser-is-stuck-on-the-sdmb/127972/17 "2002-09-13T02:04:39Z")

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I am not! I’m just curious! I wanna research it. I have my dissertation all laid out, pardon the expression. So far I have sections covering the Quakers, Tibetan monks, and the Vatican. The Amish would be the coupe de grace.

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**Author:** ![Scotticher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9c0ed/32.png) [@Scotticher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scotticher)\
**Post date:** [September 13, 2002, 4:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-browser-is-stuck-on-the-sdmb/127972/18 "2002-09-13T04:23:13Z")

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OOOOkay.

I believe you.

[sub]When Pigs Fly[/sub]

😃 😃 😃

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**Author:** ![leechbabe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7cd45c/32.png) [@leechbabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/leechbabe)\
**Post date:** [September 13, 2002, 5:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-browser-is-stuck-on-the-sdmb/127972/19 "2002-09-13T05:49:35Z")

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Hmmm I could flirt with **Res** but he appears to have that covered by **Ivy** and **Flami**.

Besides which my mum has been reading the boards lately.

“Hi Mum” :: waves :: 🙂

“I’m being really good”

**Res** maybe we could take this outside

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**Author:** ![ResIpsaLoquitor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b3f665/32.png) [@ResIpsaLoquitor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ResIpsaLoquitor)\
**Post date:** [September 13, 2002, 1:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-browser-is-stuck-on-the-sdmb/127972/20 "2002-09-13T13:04:14Z")

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Hehehehehe…I love Aussies, I really do. And Aussie mums get my complete respect.

BTW, my browser’s still working fine. Actually, my computer had been running for 3 days straight when the browser started going kablooey, so I’m wondering if it was just an extreme taxation of the system.

[Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-browser-is-stuck-on-the-sdmb/127972.md?page=2)
