# My bum is about to explode......gaaaahhhh.

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-bum-is-about-to-explode-gaaaahhhh/354573>\
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\
**Created:** [April 28, 2006, 10:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-bum-is-about-to-explode-gaaaahhhh/354573 "2006-04-28T10:26:44Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 3\
**Page:** 1

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**Author:** ![kambuckta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/53a042/32.png) [@kambuckta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kambuckta)\
**Post date:** [April 28, 2006, 10:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-bum-is-about-to-explode-gaaaahhhh/354573/1 "2006-04-28T10:26:44Z")

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There’s been a few cases of 'gastric ‘flu’ bobbing around work the past couple of weeks, and this afternoon I felt a strange pain in my lower belly, like a number of bulldog clips had been adhered to my intestines.

It went away, only to return an hour later, but this time with _meaning_, if you get my meaning.

That went away too, eventually (gasp!!), but since I have been home, the pain and the griping has become, um, gripping…and descending, geographically speaking of course.

I think my bum is about to explode.

:eek:

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**Author:** ![Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e480ec/32.png) [@Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Least_Original_User_Name_Ever)\
**Post date:** [April 28, 2006, 12:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-bum-is-about-to-explode-gaaaahhhh/354573/2 "2006-04-28T12:52:39Z")

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Have you looked into an anal bum cover?

Having trouble down under?

Perhaps it’s an alien life form trying to worm its way out after its gestation period. It’s already liquified your non-vital organs and it’s ready to gnaw a 17 centimeter (metric for your convenience) gash through your sphincter.

What did you eat, kid? Geez…someone light a match in this thread…

I, for one, welcome our new alien rectal rooting overlords. (If that doesn’t sound like a porn movie: “Rectal Rooting Overlords”, then I don’t know what does.)

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**Author:** ![slaphead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9bcb4/32.png) [@slaphead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/slaphead)\
**Post date:** [April 28, 2006, 1:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-bum-is-about-to-explode-gaaaahhhh/354573/3 "2006-04-28T13:30:45Z")

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> [@kambuckta](#):
>
> I think my bum is about to explode.  
> :eek:

Sounds like your toilet is about to get pebbledashed. Good luck with that. You may wish to prepare a stash of matchboxes and reading material in the bathroom…