# My Campaign Promises to You, the American People **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 24, 2019, 5:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-campaign-promises-to-you-the-american-people/834442 "2019-05-24T05:41:03Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Paul\_in\_Qatar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ccd318/32.png) [@Paul\_in\_Qatar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Paul_in_Qatar)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2019, 5:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-campaign-promises-to-you-the-american-people/834442/1 "2019-05-24T05:41:03Z")
1. I will take steps to move Martin Luther King Day to August when the weather is nicer. 2. By executive order I will direct the Treasury Department to conduct a radical redesign of American banknotes and coins. This will include a contest soliciting ideas from the public. 3. Hi, **Opal**. 4. I will make the first moves in a long-term process to lower our infant- and maternal-death rates to the of advanced countries like Spain. 5. I will direct all government agencies to only purchase weapons that include microstamping technology. 6. I will ask Congress to remove the salary cap on Social Security contributions. 7. I will ask Congress to allow the IRS to produce a simplified income tax system that will eliminate the need for most Americans to file a return. 8. I will take step in both legislation and in executive branch policy to encourage the states to legalize both medical & recreational marijuana. 9. I will issue at least one presidential pardon every day of my term in the White House. 10. I will order all the executive departments to cooperate with the states in the development of high-speed rail systems. 11. I will ask Congress to pass legislation for universal voter registration and mandatory voting. 12. I will direct the BATF to allow Americans to place themselves on the “Do not buy” registry for handguns. 13. I will investigate allowing Americans to buy into the government-employees healthcare system. 14. I shall withdraw from the Camp David Accords, allowing us to cut off aid to the Government of Egypt until it returns to a true republic. **Did I leave anything out?** ---
**Author:** ![Paul\_in\_Qatar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ccd318/32.png) [@Paul\_in\_Qatar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Paul_in_Qatar)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2019, 5:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-campaign-promises-to-you-the-american-people/834442/2 "2019-05-24T05:48:59Z")
1. I shall move the functions of the ATFE to the real police, the FBI. ---
**Author:** ![pkbites](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pkbites/32/204_2.png) [@pkbites](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pkbites)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2019, 5:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-campaign-promises-to-you-the-american-people/834442/3 "2019-05-24T05:54:44Z")
[Good luck with all that!](https://explorvistas.files.wordpress.com/2017/12/you.jpg?w=474) ---
**Author:** ![purplehorseshoe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/purplehorseshoe/32/2996_2.png) [@purplehorseshoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purplehorseshoe)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2019, 11:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-campaign-promises-to-you-the-american-people/834442/4 "2019-05-24T11:01:25Z")
Ya got my vote. My biggest quibble with the first several items on your list is, what’s this "ask Congress to … " bullshit? Fuckin’ MAKE them do all those things you name, and you can be Dictator For Life as far as I’m concerned. I’ll also be honest about the drop-off in my interest towards the end of your list. The last couple line items mean exactly jack shit to me, less important or relevant than the price of tea in Outer Mongolia … but hey, you seem to care. Have at it. Once you complete the top 2/3 of the list first, please! ---
**Author:** ![Paul\_in\_Qatar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ccd318/32.png) [@Paul\_in\_Qatar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Paul_in_Qatar)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2019, 1:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-campaign-promises-to-you-the-american-people/834442/5 "2019-05-24T13:30:19Z")
Please tell me what you would like me to add. ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2019, 1:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-campaign-promises-to-you-the-american-people/834442/6 "2019-05-24T13:52:24Z")
Don’t add anything. Maybe remove a couple of items to get the list down to ten. I don’t mean don’t do those things, just figure out the top ten by priority to make it more digestible for the public. You can certainly talk about the other items as well. One item I disagree with is issuing a pardon every day. You can only pardon federal crimes and that kind of promise could result in some mistakes since you’re talking about more than a thousand pardons in a four year term. Also, I think a Do Not Buy registry for guns is ripe for ridicule. The people who would put themselves on it would never buy a gun anyway. And it’s also unenforceable since gun ownership is a constitutional right. Those aren’t bad sentiments, but IMHO certainly not deserving of being top ten priorities. ---
**Author:** ![Quartz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quartz/32/267_2.png) [@Quartz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quartz)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2019, 2:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-campaign-promises-to-you-the-american-people/834442/7 "2019-05-24T14:26:38Z")
If memory serves, #3 should be RIP, Opal ☹ 1. I will apologise to the British for wasting all that tea. ---
**Author:** ![Paul\_in\_Qatar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ccd318/32.png) [@Paul\_in\_Qatar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Paul_in_Qatar)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2019, 2:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-campaign-promises-to-you-the-american-people/834442/8 "2019-05-24T14:35:25Z")
☹ Really? **OpalCat?** that is a loss. (Sigh) ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2019, 3:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-campaign-promises-to-you-the-american-people/834442/9 "2019-05-24T15:30:56Z")
You left out mention of Supreme Court nominations. And yes, **OpalCat** has been gone for a long, long time. ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/22080_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2019, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-campaign-promises-to-you-the-american-people/834442/10 "2019-05-24T16:15:15Z")
Nowhere do you mention deep sea fishing rights… (wondering who will recognize that line) ---
**Author:** ![Paul\_in\_Qatar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ccd318/32.png) [@Paul\_in\_Qatar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Paul_in_Qatar)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2019, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-campaign-promises-to-you-the-american-people/834442/11 "2019-05-24T18:46:13Z")
1. As your President, I pledge to attend at least one game of each team of the WNBA. 2. I will also support Minor League Baseball with my presence as scheduling allows. ---
**Author:** ![Paul\_in\_Qatar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ccd318/32.png) [@Paul\_in\_Qatar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Paul_in_Qatar)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2019, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-campaign-promises-to-you-the-american-people/834442/12 "2019-05-24T18:52:37Z")
1. I shall cease production the penny. ---
**Author:** ![Procrustus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/procrustus/32/2994_2.png) [@Procrustus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Procrustus)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2019, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-campaign-promises-to-you-the-american-people/834442/13 "2019-05-24T18:52:38Z")
The list is okay, but I would not support “mandatory voting.” Let’s stay a free country if we can. I’m willing to get behind removing the cap of Social Security taxes, but I think you have to allow for some increase in benefits for those who will be paying 2 or 3 (or more) times what they’re paying now. ---
**Author:** ![Procrustus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/procrustus/32/2994_2.png) [@Procrustus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Procrustus)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2019, 6:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-campaign-promises-to-you-the-american-people/834442/14 "2019-05-24T18:54:57Z")
> [@Paul\_in\_Qatar](#): > > 1. I shall cease production the penny. Good one. And the dollar bill too I hope. ---
**Author:** ![Doctor\_Jackson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doctor_jackson/32/32_2.png) [@Doctor\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doctor_Jackson)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2019, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-campaign-promises-to-you-the-american-people/834442/15 "2019-05-24T19:59:07Z")
> [@Paul\_in\_Qatar](#): > > 1. I will take steps to move Martin Luther King Day to August when the weather is nicer. Sorry, that one is a no-go. I like to take a 3 day ski vacation around the MLK holiday. In the spirit of not just pointing out a problem but also proposing a solution - make my birthday in late August a national holiday. Everybody wins! ---
**Author:** ![Zyada](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zyada/32/3028_2.png) [@Zyada](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zyada)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2019, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-campaign-promises-to-you-the-american-people/834442/16 "2019-05-24T21:12:19Z")
> [@Paul\_in\_Qatar](#): > > 1. I shall move the functions of the ATFE to the real police, the FBI. My ex worked for ATF, and about the time we parted ways, they were attempting to do this. Problem is that ATF has a split personality. Half is enforcement, the other half is taxation. FBI didn’t want the taxation side because they’re enforcement, and IRS didn’t want the taxation side because it was a very small amount compared to income taxes. Mind you, this was 20 years ago. But if people are still complaining about it, I’m guessing the problem still exists. ---
**Author:** ![dtilque](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d6d6ee/32.png) [@dtilque](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dtilque)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2019, 3:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-campaign-promises-to-you-the-american-people/834442/17 "2019-05-25T03:01:44Z")
> [@Paul\_in\_Qatar](#): > > 1. I will take steps to move Martin Luther King Day to August when the weather is nicer. I had the idea to move it to early April, which is when he was assassinated. The thing is, the longest period between two holidays is between Presidents Day and Memorial Day. Early April falls halfway between those holidays. > [@](#): > > 1. I will investigate allowing Americans to buy into the government-employees healthcare system. Better yet, just adopt the same single-payer system that Canada has. Furthermore, negotiate a reciprical agreement with Canada so that Americans can use their system and Canadians can use the US system. ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2019, 6:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-campaign-promises-to-you-the-american-people/834442/18 "2019-05-25T06:27:47Z")
#9 Why? Cut my taxes. That’ll do, Pig. ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Crap](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dr.crap/32/3131_2.png) [@Dr.Crap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Crap)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2019, 6:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-campaign-promises-to-you-the-american-people/834442/19 "2019-05-25T06:34:49Z")
> [@Paul\_in\_Qatar](#): > > 1. I shall withdraw from the Camp David Accords, allowing us to cut off aid to the Government of Egypt until it returns to a true republic. Was that a term of the accords? Egypt has never been a true republic. What do you honestly believe would happen in such a scenario? Why is this desirable? ---
**Author:** ![Paul\_in\_Qatar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ccd318/32.png) [@Paul\_in\_Qatar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Paul_in_Qatar)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2019, 9:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-campaign-promises-to-you-the-american-people/834442/20 "2019-05-25T09:11:24Z")
1. I shall direct the Interior Department to sell BASE jumping licenses at all suitable locations in our great national parks. 2. I will fully fund the improvements to mass-transit access to New York City. 3. I will direct the Federal government to recognize the medical training our fine veterans receive and hire them without civilian certifications. 4. We will explore ways to encourage the study of foreign languages in all our schools. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-campaign-promises-to-you-the-american-people/834442.md?page=2)