# My cat died. I feel so depressed. (Long post) **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 21, 2005, 1:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-cat-died-i-feel-so-depressed-long-post/336555 "2005-12-21T01:41:51Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 9\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Corrvin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/bbce88/32.png) [@Corrvin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Corrvin)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2005, 9:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-cat-died-i-feel-so-depressed-long-post/336555/21 "2005-12-21T09:33:06Z")
“I’m thinking of going into thearpy and getting some anti-depressants.” Talking to someone might be a good answer. But anti-depressants are for people who feel really, really bad for no reason. You have a very good reason to feel awful. Please don’t blame yourself or think there is something wrong with you for grieving. Great grief is the price of great love. Corr ---
**Author:** ![Brynda](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e79b87/32.png) [@Brynda](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brynda)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2005, 12:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-cat-died-i-feel-so-depressed-long-post/336555/22 "2005-12-21T12:51:07Z")
I believe animals know when they are sick, but I don’t think they understand death in the way we do, which means that they don’t fear death the way we can. I agree with **Corrvin** that you are grieving and what you are feeling is normal. I also get the feeling that you are like me (and I bet lots of people in this thread) in that you feel things really strongly. That’s a wonderful thing in that it lets you really, really love those you love, but it also means you grieve deeply, and get your feelings really hurt, etc. ---
**Author:** ![Khadaji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Khadaji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khadaji)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2005, 3:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-cat-died-i-feel-so-depressed-long-post/336555/23 "2005-12-21T15:04:03Z")
I am sorry to hear your news. Sending supporting thoughts your way. ---
**Author:** ![Hey\_It\_s\_That\_Guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Hey\_It\_s\_That\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hey_It_s_That_Guy)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2005, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-cat-died-i-feel-so-depressed-long-post/336555/24 "2005-12-21T15:32:23Z")
My parents put my beloved cat, Popocatepetl, to sleep, while I was away at school, and they didn’t even tell me until I came home for Thanksgiving, over a month later! I loved that cat so much, and even though I knew he was older and sick and that was inevitable, I wish they had told me, and I really wish I had been there with him to say goodbye. I’ve mourned him ever since, and this was Thanksgiving of 2001 ---
**Author:** ![Anne\_Neville](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Anne\_Neville](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anne_Neville)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2005, 5:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-cat-died-i-feel-so-depressed-long-post/336555/25 "2005-12-21T17:38:18Z")
{{{{ **PrehensileRectum** }}}} I’m so sorry to hear about you losing your kitty. ---
**Author:** ![phouka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c5a1d2/32.png) [@phouka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/phouka)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2005, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-cat-died-i-feel-so-depressed-long-post/336555/26 "2005-12-21T20:49:47Z")
Definitely talk to someone who will be supportive of your grief. Consider anti-depressants if you don’t start feeling better in a couple of weeks. Depression can be caused by traumatic events, like the loss of a beloved pet. I’m so sorry about your cat’s death. He looked like a complete sweetie. Take comfort in your remaining pets. ---
**Author:** ![Hello\_Again](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/85e7bf/32.png) [@Hello\_Again](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hello_Again)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2005, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-cat-died-i-feel-so-depressed-long-post/336555/27 "2005-12-21T20:49:49Z")
I’m so sorry to hear about the loss of your sweet kitty. As others have said, it is normal to feel sad, very sad about the loss of a pet – sometimes even more sad than you may have felt about losing people who were not close to you. I think you should think about memorializing Shadow in some way. You may want to have a formal ceremony (select friends and family who won’t say dumb sh\*t like “it was just a cat” to to attend). I recommend the children’s book _The Tenth Good Thing About Barney_ by Judith Viorst for ideas if you’re not sure what you would say at a memorial service. Another option is to do something in his honor, such as planting a tree or flower. When my horse Holly passed away I planted a peppermint plant in her memory. Peppermints were her favorite treat, and a peppermint plant can get wild if you don’t keep tabs on it, just like her 🙂 We planted a white rose for my all-white cat Snowball, who passed away when I was 7. Maybe you can think of a plant that would have special meaning for you. You may want to assemble photos and mementos together in a memory book, and even write down some favorite memories. Knowing that you have these things all together is a reassurance that your beloved pet will never be forgotten. You can return at any time to revisit happy memories through photos and stories. Ultimately, my advice is to remember him as he was in life, rather than over-focusing on the circumstances of his death. ---
**Author:** ![Infovore](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/infovore/32/420_2.png) [@Infovore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Infovore)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2005, 9:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-cat-died-i-feel-so-depressed-long-post/336555/28 "2005-12-21T21:01:48Z")
I’m so sorry to hear about the loss of your beloved kitty. He was a real beauty. I’m sitting here at my desk getting all puddly thinking about it. I lost my kitty earlier this year (she had lymphoma, and eventually we had to help her leave us when the chemo stopped working). I was devastated–she was my baby, and losing her hurt me terribly. I too cried when we got wonderful cards from our vet, oncologist, and my workmates. I second **Hello Again** ’s suggestion about a memory book. That’s what we did after Meep died–we got a blank book and the two of us (my spousal unit and I) took turns writing down memories of her, one to a page. We keep the book with the cards, next to the urn containing her ashes. It still makes me cry to read through the memories, but it makes me smile too, to remember her. Don’t worry about your other pets–just love them and care for them and cherish their presence for as long as they’re with you. Let them help you get through this–sometimes you can say things to a pet that you can’t say to a human. I’m keeping good thoughts for you. ---
**Author:** ![anyrose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/54ee81/32.png) [@anyrose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/anyrose)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2005, 9:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-cat-died-i-feel-so-depressed-long-post/336555/29 "2005-12-21T21:18:26Z")
My heart goes out to you. It’s never easy to lose a cherised family member whether 4 legged or 2. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-cat-died-i-feel-so-depressed-long-post/336555.md?page=1)