### Author:  [@Man\_With\_a\_Cat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Man_With_a_Cat)
#### Post date: [February 28, 2006, 9:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-cat-has-a-new-girlfriend-i-think/346520/1 "2006-02-28T21:23:22Z")
It’s mundane, pointless and by gum I’m sharing.
Sunday evening, my youngest - Cuervo, was acting funny. Didn’t want to play with Mr. Feather-on-a-Stick, didn’t want to warm himself by the fireplace or even beat the stuff out of my hand in a boxing match. So, I just let him be.
A few minutes later, he picked up one of the stuffed cats he has as toys by the scruff of her (?) neck and started walking around with her. For several minutes, he strolled from room to room with her.
Then, right in front of me and Bus Wife, he set her down. And moved behind her.
Where I caught a solid glimpse of little pink Cuervo Junior at attention.
Side note: The toy cat in question is a dead ringer in color for his nemesis, [Evil, Fat Scarlett](http://i8.photobucket.com/albums/a39/keylimepie630/cat%20pictures/loungingscarlett.jpg)
Bus Wife was appalled. Screaming at me to make him stop.
“Well babe, I’m not sure I would want to be interrupted, and after all, there is a nice romantic fire going for them”
Now, the “issue” that he was having is that he’s a pretty good sized 6-month old, and his kitty-friend is just bigger than a beanie baby. So it took some serious contortions for him to, um…reach the target. But the little guy did manage somehow.
Now, I know my fellow dopers, and whenever, or wherever a cat thread is started, there is a general ruckus made for pictures.
Would I disappoint you?
[First, he tries spooning](http://i8.photobucket.com/albums/a39/keylimepie630/cat%20pictures/todayiamaman.jpg)
Next, he just stands her up, and [gets 'er done](http://i8.photobucket.com/albums/a39/keylimepie630/cat%20pictures/thisisasmallgirlcat.jpg) , if you will.
Later, he went back by the fireplace, bathed himself and took a nap, leaving the girlfriend lying on the floor to fend for herself. Bus Wife said he learned that from me. I said no, if he had, he’d be popping the top of a Harp Lager right about now.
Regardless, I was a proud daddy. The whole episode made me almost wish there had been a camera there with me and the Redhead Who Will Remain Unnamed back at the Bel-Air Drive In, back on that day in September '74. But, I digress…
Time to get the little guy to Dr. Heather I think.
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### Author:  [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)
#### Post date: [February 28, 2006, 9:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-cat-has-a-new-girlfriend-i-think/346520/2 "2006-02-28T21:44:30Z")
\…That’s so beautiful!
Good for Cuervo! Might as well get some use from the marbles before they get taken away from him.
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### Author:  [@Sean\_Factotum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sean_Factotum)
#### Post date: [February 28, 2006, 9:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-cat-has-a-new-girlfriend-i-think/346520/3 "2006-02-28T21:48:18Z")
My cat’s girlfriend is my girlfriend. He jumps into bed between us at night.
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### Author:  [@Giant\_Spongess](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giant_Spongess)
#### Post date: [February 28, 2006, 11:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-cat-has-a-new-girlfriend-i-think/346520/4 "2006-02-28T23:45:23Z")
One of my friends had to throw away a Russian military hat because his cats wouldn’t stop humping it.
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### Author:  [@Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Least_Original_User_Name_Ever)
#### Post date: [February 28, 2006, 11:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-cat-has-a-new-girlfriend-i-think/346520/5 "2006-02-28T23:48:19Z")
> [@Giant\_Spongess](#):
>
> One of my friends had to throw away a Russian military hat because his cats wouldn’t stop humping it.
lol…cute…
that’s how they really stay warm in siberia, eh comrade?
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### Author:  [@Man\_With\_a\_Cat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Man_With_a_Cat)
#### Post date: [March 1, 2006, 12:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-cat-has-a-new-girlfriend-i-think/346520/6 "2006-03-01T00:52:55Z")
> [@Least Original User Name Ever](#):
>
> lol…cute…
>
> that’s how they really stay warm in siberia, eh comrade?
The cats anyway.
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### Author:  [@CynicalGabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CynicalGabe)
#### Post date: [March 1, 2006, 1:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-cat-has-a-new-girlfriend-i-think/346520/7 "2006-03-01T01:34:13Z")
> [@Giant\_Spongess](#):
>
> One of my friends had to throw away a Russian military hat because his cats wouldn’t stop humping it.
In Soviet Russia…
eh. I can’t beat that!
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### Author:  [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)
#### Post date: [March 1, 2006, 1:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-cat-has-a-new-girlfriend-i-think/346520/8 "2006-03-01T01:49:31Z")
At least he tries a little foreplay (spooning) first. He’s adorable! But yes, you DO want him snipped ASAP. Once they start spraying, they just don’t wanna quit.
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### Author:  [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)
#### Post date: [March 1, 2006, 1:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-cat-has-a-new-girlfriend-i-think/346520/9 "2006-03-01T01:51:05Z")
Oh, and Scarlett CLEARLY needs a good tummy rub.
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### Author:  [@movingfinger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/movingfinger)
#### Post date: [March 1, 2006, 3:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-cat-has-a-new-girlfriend-i-think/346520/10 "2006-03-01T03:32:34Z")
Hats off to young Cuervo! Way to go, dudelet!
Keep in mind that even after he has had his utilities disconnected, he may still keep the primal memories of what he was put here on earth to do–sort of.
Our Bear, six year old reformed tom, still chases after Niblet, six year old spayed female and annoys the hell out of her when he tries to mount her. They both get this “Now, what?” look on their faces, knowing they are supposed to Do Something, but not sure what it is.
Be content that while Cuervo may enjoy the hunt, he will only be shooting blanks.
---
### Author:  [@Man\_With\_a\_Cat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Man_With_a_Cat)
#### Post date: [March 1, 2006, 5:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-cat-has-a-new-girlfriend-i-think/346520/11 "2006-03-01T05:18:34Z")
Roughly 20 years ago, Ernie - Best Cat Ever, and [Erica](http://i8.photobucket.com/albums/a39/keylimepie630/cat%20pictures/onblanket.jpg) , his personal bitch, were kittens together.
On the way to the doctor’s office where they were both going to be fixed, he had her twice in the cat carrier.
Ahhhhhh, those primal memories.
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### Author:  [@Gozu\_Tashoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gozu_Tashoya)
#### Post date: [March 1, 2006, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-cat-has-a-new-girlfriend-i-think/346520/12 "2006-03-01T20:12:14Z")
I’m sorry, but the whole time I was reading the OP, I couldn’t get [this picture](http://www.patvince.com/Personal/Random/animated/froggystyle.gif) out of my head.
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### Author:  [@anyrose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/anyrose)
#### Post date: [March 1, 2006, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-cat-has-a-new-girlfriend-i-think/346520/13 "2006-03-01T20:43:27Z")
> [@Gozu Tashoya](#):
>
> I’m sorry, but the whole time I was reading the OP, I couldn’t get [this picture](http://www.patvince.com/Personal/Random/animated/froggystyle.gif) out of my head.
YOU OWE ME A NEW KEYBOARD :D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D
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### Author:  [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)
#### Post date: [March 1, 2006, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-cat-has-a-new-girlfriend-i-think/346520/14 "2006-03-01T20:47:41Z")
Oh man, I’m dying here. I really needed the laugh. Thanks!
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### Author:  [@Man\_With\_a\_Cat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Man_With_a_Cat)
#### Post date: [March 1, 2006, 8:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-cat-has-a-new-girlfriend-i-think/346520/15 "2006-03-01T20:57:30Z")
Miss Piggy’s gonna get all over that poor bunny.
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### Author:  [@anyrose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/anyrose)
#### Post date: [March 1, 2006, 9:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-cat-has-a-new-girlfriend-i-think/346520/16 "2006-03-01T21:05:29Z")
the Google Ads (tho they may be different once I post) are right now all about “_ **stuffed** _” animals
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### Author:  [@Anastasaeon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anastasaeon)
#### Post date: [March 1, 2006, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-cat-has-a-new-girlfriend-i-think/346520/17 "2006-03-01T21:15:30Z")
Oh, _man_, that’s awesome. Cuervo’s such a stud.
Our oldest cat, Sebastian, went into heat shortly after moving here. Everytime time Mr. Stasaeon came home from work, she would position herself in front of him and lift her tail high, squat on her front paws and wail. Bitch tried to steal my man, right in front of me!
And yeah, get him fixed ASAP. Once they go into heat, they just casually drop into it any old time they please. We tried to schedule her appointment with the vet when she wasn’t raging horny, but failed miserably. The vet called us after her operation: “She vas een HEET!” and it costed us a little extra. I don’t know if it’s the same for boys. But still.
She still loves Mr. Stasaeon, but she just wants to be friends. I still call her little miss roundheels on occasion, though.
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### Author:  [@anyrose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/anyrose)
#### Post date: [March 1, 2006, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-cat-has-a-new-girlfriend-i-think/346520/18 "2006-03-01T21:22:21Z")
Smokey was “broken” (as my friend calls it) when she was about 6 months old - before she ever had her first heat. Now, six and a half years later, she still presents her tushy to me ever now and then (I ignore it, and instead turn her around to face me)
Her killer instinct is strong, tho. She attacked my Bugs Bunny slippers and did the ‘grab & kick’ thing (holds it close with her front paws and tries to gouge out its guts with her rear paws and claws)
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### Author:  [@Bookkeeper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bookkeeper)
#### Post date: [March 1, 2006, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-cat-has-a-new-girlfriend-i-think/346520/19 "2006-03-01T21:26:41Z")
Evil, Fat Scarlett looks just like our Chipie, right down to the Slut-Boy™ pose and the one fang showing.
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### Author:  [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)
#### Post date: [March 1, 2006, 9:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-cat-has-a-new-girlfriend-i-think/346520/20 "2006-03-01T21:42:38Z")
I’ve never seen anything like that, but a friend’s cat used to try to NURSE from one of her stuffed animals-a big stuffed sheep dog she’d had since she was a kid. It was pretty funny to watch.
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