My children's school principal: Go to hell and burn. Slowly.

[SteveG1]

@xenophon41

So then your earlier accounts in this thread, shall we say, shaded the fucking truth? (And it would be “armchair psychology” unless you think I’m diagnosing a mental disorder.)

If you’re going to advise people to choose to fight “bullies” as the best way to deal with them, maybe you should qualify your sage counsel. You know, the way others have done in the thread by mentioning situational variables and alternatives.

Since you listed fights in “the Army” and “at work”, care to explain the consequences that went along with those exercises in bully management, or would that too harshly weaken your thesis? Were those effective bully control sessions also done quietly and discreetly so that no UCMJ or employer sanctions occurred?

Jackwad.

No, I didn’t shade anything. In grade school and the first year of high school, I did put up with a lot of shit - except when I fought back. Got that, stupid? In each of those instances, the asshole would not back off until I fucked him up. In the Army, I had one altercation. Again, it was a case of escalating from casual insults to threats, to a fight. Again, once I showed I meant business, it stopped. I beat the shit out of him and it stopped. He went and started picking on someone else. He sure did. He found a 'softer target" but at least it wasn’t me. Since he swung first, it would have been a case of self defense anyway, if anyone had pressed the issue. At work, one clown was a chronic bully of everyone. He was claiming all sorts of bullshit - former boxing champ, a black belt, of course it was all bullshit. But he had people buffaloed - threatening to beat people up, threatening to SHOOT them etc etc etc. It just so happened that I was the first to draw a line, since management chose not to do anything at all. He literally ran away from me when I eventually did blow up at him, and left soon after (a matter of weeks). When management tried to “deal with me” over it, I told them to take it up with the union and “advised” them that they would be having to explain why THEY had allowed the shit head to get away with it for YEARS but now wanted to “talk to” me. They dropped it. The last fight I was in, was on the bus. Some asshole beat his “girl friend” and her brother and then started swing at strangers, while talking shit about how he was a bad motherfucker and a Crip. I kicked his sorry ass off the bus and watched him run. The cops let me go. They were however, real interested in him. Fancy that.

So what now. Am I a pussy for not constantly fighting, or a psycho for always fighting, or some other bullshit? You don’t know me so maybe you should just shut the fuck up.

When someone is taking a swing at you there is no situational variable. Either you fuck him up or he will fuck you up. There is no situational variable.

[xenophon41]

Ya know champ, you’re free to be an internet badass all you want to illustrate whatever dumbass idea you’re trying to support. But your tales are hard to swallow and your advice to supposed victims is harmful and stupid. That’s why I’m giving you shit.

Your Army story: there’s lots of times superiors look the other way when a troublemaker gets his comeuppance, but self defense just isn’t germane to either the UCMJ proscription or to NJP when it’s applied to enlisted personnel fighting. May have been justified, but beating the shit out of comrades is frowned upon in a military command structure. And the military being a special case this isn’t a sterling example of “real life” consequences.

Your work story: In 90+ percent of cases where someone swings on a coworker, they’re walked out the door, regardless of provocation. You had a union to protect you. That’s one of the good things about unions and I believe you. You also say management chose not to do anything at all about the other guy for “years”, which is almost certainly bullshit. That chronic bully was also protected by a union I’m guessing, and I’m also guessing he was receiving progressive discipline from that same management team who chose not to do anything about your sorry ass. -Assuming anyone bothered to complain about his behavior at any point along the line.

I’m sure the union did their job and made management have to prove a case to fire him, not a visible process to you and your coworkers and very difficult if he avoided actual altercations. So you can claim you did your coworkers a favor, but I guarantee it looked to management like they had more than one problem employee. And if the other guy merely intimidated people but you chose to “draw a line” I’d say they were right.

When someone is taking a swing at you there is no situational variable. Either you fuck him up or he will fuck you up. There is no situational variable.

Can you make up your mind in this thread? Earlier you have a “pattern that has never changed” and then it becomes “hardly a pattern.” Earlier you talked about those “worst ones” always “escalating” the situation and now suddenly you’re reacting to someone taking a swing at you as if there were no significant actions by either party leading up to the point.

Which were they, situations that developed according to changing circumstances (you know… variables) or surprise attacks with no grey area between grab ass and ‘fucking you up’?

What really bothers me about these bullshit ‘standing up to bullies’ stories (not just yours but other bullshit stories as well) is that the ones who tend to find the moral of the stories the most persuasive are well meaning parents who want their kids to be strong and assertive, and inexperienced hormone impaired young men who most need actual guidance in handling conflict.

Most school bullying isn’t physical bullying, but taunting and general meanness that can’t be countered by punching and hitting. When parents buy into the bully smackdown approach, they at best miss the opportunity to teach real social skills to their kids, and at worst produce future adults who perceive aggressive disagreement as ‘bullying’ to be responded to in a bellicose manner.

And when young adults try this shit, it leads more surely to legal, employment and medical problems than to any supposed relief from actual or potential ‘bullies.’

This last point really chaps my ass: the cartoonish notion that outside of fiction and reality tv you can legitimately call other adults who take aggressive stances bullies, and that once that schoolyard label is applied it adequately describes the dynamics and prescribes an appropriate response. That’s not even believable in movies; why would anyone who’s actually been in fights promote the idea in real life?

[Cammacdon]

@Skyscrapers_Are_Gravestones

Teach your child to take different routes to/from class. Teach him to blend in with the environment around them and not to ‘act different.’ Yeah, it sounds fucked up, but it’s true. Young kids are twisted little sociopaths and can smell out ‘different’ from a mile away

Shoot yourself.

Bullies do NOT stop because they get scolded, So the school board is useless that’s all they would do anyway. Get a good attorney. Sue the parents into oblivion. When they’re living off of saltines and water while you blow their hard earned money on whatever the hell you want, then they’ll realize that pulling their heads from their asses is a good idea.

[MeanOldLady]

@Cammacdon

Shoot yourself.

Bullies do NOT stop because they get scolded, So the school board is useless that’s all they would do anyway. Get a good attorney. Sue the parents into oblivion.

Maybe you should shoot yourself, douchebag. Are you serious about suing people over school yard bullying? Get the fuck out of dodge.

[Miller]

This is a reminder that wishing death on other posters, including suicide, is a violation of board rules. Please limit yourself to wishing only non-lethal misfortunes on posters with whom you are arguing.

[Nzinga_Seated]

She meant, “shoot yourself in the toe, douchebag”. Non lethal.

ETA: or, ‘shoot yourself with a water gun’ or ‘shoot yourself with the flu shot’ etc.

[SteveG1]

@xenophon41

Ya know champ, you’re free to be an internet badass all you want to illustrate whatever dumbass idea you’re trying to support. But your tales are hard to swallow and your advice to supposed victims is harmful and stupid. That’s why I’m giving you shit. …

You really are one stupid motherfucker, aren’t you. Meh, I’m done with your bullshit. Go rant at someone else, from whatever fantasy land you’re living in.