# My Company Is So Cheap!!! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [October 13, 2003, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-company-is-so-cheap/207233 "2003-10-13T18:58:56Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 16\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Isabelle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/b5a626/32.png) [@Isabelle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Isabelle)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2003, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-company-is-so-cheap/207233/21 "2003-10-14T19:35:54Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Herge \* > \*\*Guys going into the ladies bathroom is bad enough, but they actually use the toilet? Thats really inconsiderate. You should see if you can get hold of the key, and keep the ladies locked. I mean, the men can’t exactly complain to the boss that they can’t get into the ladies bathroom, can they? 🙂 \*\* Ha ha ha Didn’t you read the subject line? My company is cheap! There is no key! ---
**Author:** ![Stephi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecd19e/32.png) [@Stephi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stephi)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2003, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-company-is-so-cheap/207233/22 "2003-10-14T20:47:14Z")
I think you should send out a memo to everyone any time you notice someone using the women’s washroom. Be sure to include words like “gynocological” “tampon” “yeast infection” “Monostat 7” “ovaries” and “vagina.” It’s well proven that these words make most men to run screaming from the room. Make sure you tell them that every time you catch someone using the ladies’s room, you’ll send another one of these memos out. You can then safely store all your stuff in the ladies’ room without fear of anything being stolen. They won’t go within 10 feet of the damn thing. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2003, 8:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-company-is-so-cheap/207233/23 "2003-10-15T08:01:02Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Spiff \* > \*\ ***jjimm** , are you sure you’re not an Englishman in Scotland instead of an Englishman in Ireland? 😃 \*\* Funny you should mention that: guess the nationality of the new financial controller… I ain’t kidding. (No offense to any Scots, as I know most of you are generous to a fault, but it is a little funny when someone fulfils their stereotype [he said unemotionally while colonising someone else’s country].) ---
**Author:** ![Isabelle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/b5a626/32.png) [@Isabelle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Isabelle)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2003, 12:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-company-is-so-cheap/207233/24 "2003-10-15T12:26:15Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Stephi \* > \*\*I think you should send out a memo to everyone any time you notice someone using the women’s washroom. Be sure to include words like “gynocological” “tampon” “yeast infection” “Monostat 7” “ovaries” and “vagina.” It’s well proven that these words make most men to run screaming from the room. Make sure you tell them that every time you catch someone using the ladies’s room, you’ll send another one of these memos out. > > You can then safely store all your stuff in the ladies’ room without fear of anything being stolen. They won’t go within 10 feet of the damn thing. > > 🙂 \*\* This is the BEST idea yet. Thanks:D ---
**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2003, 12:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-company-is-so-cheap/207233/25 "2003-10-15T12:56:43Z")
“Cheeselike discharge” also works well when mentioned in conjunction with a yeast infection. Or at least it certainly sends all the males in SDMB threads run in all directions. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2003, 2:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-company-is-so-cheap/207233/26 "2003-10-15T14:02:21Z")
Can we turn this into a contest? My company is so cheap that they make the accounting staff buy their own pens, staplers, markers, etc. Well, they don’t _make_ us, but if we order it, it takes roughly six months to get it, and we’ve all basically given up and just bought our own. On the other hand, we were bought by a huge corporation, and our broken tp holder finally got replaced. Maybe things are looking up! ---
**Author:** ![Isabelle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/b5a626/32.png) [@Isabelle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Isabelle)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2003, 2:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-company-is-so-cheap/207233/27 "2003-10-15T14:19:14Z")
Ok **featherlou** I accept your challenge! My company is so cheap they don’t celebrate Admin’s day. How much can a lunch cost for jiminey crickets sake? My company is so cheap we are only allowed to order pens, paper clips, etc on an **as needed** basis. So if you need a paperclip on Monday afternoon…too bad Charlie they will have to be ordered and it will take 2-day delievery. My company is so cheap that we currently only have 1 box of staples to share amongst us all. ---
**Author:** ![mhendo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mhendo/32/3159_2.png) [@mhendo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mhendo)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2003, 2:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-company-is-so-cheap/207233/28 "2003-10-15T14:27:24Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Ice Wolf \* > \*\*Sounds like the finances in your company there are in serious trouble. If I were a shareholder, I’d be ordering my broker to “SELL!” \*\* Depending on the company, this could be exacly the wrong thing for a shareholder to do. Admittedly, some companies start with the cost-cutting when they’re in financial trouble. But others have no concept of the term “stakeholders,” and are happy to fuck over their employees with petty economy measures simply to ensure that the profits and dividends are better for the shareholders. ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2003, 2:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-company-is-so-cheap/207233/29 "2003-10-15T14:29:07Z")
My company is so cheap that our Christmas party has gone from a meal at a hotel (paid for by our social fund, not the company) to a BYOB drink-up in the office kitchen. ---
**Author:** ![Isabelle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/b5a626/32.png) [@Isabelle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Isabelle)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2003, 2:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-company-is-so-cheap/207233/30 "2003-10-15T14:38:11Z")
My company is so cheap we don’t even have Christmas parties! The team moral is really low and no one wants to spend time together. My company is so cheap that they refuse to buy a REAL phone system that has “on hold music” Instead they went to Radio Shack and bought an $80 tape player…which broke a month ago and they are too cheap to replace it. So we currently have no “on hold music” ---
**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2003, 2:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-company-is-so-cheap/207233/31 "2003-10-15T14:42:50Z")
In the spirit of those who thwart food-stealers by leaving out adulterated food for them to steal, couldn’t you leave a roll of TP treated with, say, itching powder or poison ivy in your bathroom? ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2003, 5:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-company-is-so-cheap/207233/32 "2003-10-15T17:24:11Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Thudlow Boink \* > \*\*In the spirit of those who thwart food-stealers by leaving out adulterated food for them to steal, couldn’t you leave a roll of TP treated with, say, itching powder or poison ivy in your bathroom? \*\* OK, here’s a plan: Get one of those fine plastic syringes–they use them for squirting wood glue into loose chair joints. Then mix up a solution of cornstarch and water that’s about the consistency of melted ice cream Then get some food coloring. (I find that Dec-A-Cake works better than McCormick.) Color the cornstarch solution brown. Get a roll of Charmin, preferably one of those big double rolls. Use the plastic syringe to insert a blot of the brown cornstarch solution deep into the roll of Charmin. This will be the tricky part. You have to get the brown stuff in without the moisture puckering the outer part of the roll. Then leave the sabotaged Charmin in the bathroom and laugh your butt off. ---
**Author:** ![county](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ce7236/32.png) [@county](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/county)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2003, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-company-is-so-cheap/207233/33 "2003-10-15T20:37:56Z")
Little shits used that cheap toilet paper to roll my yard, only took about 15 minutes to pick up what was on the ground, but that stuff has been in my trees and a neighbors trees for over two months - that stuff is rugged. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2003, 4:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-company-is-so-cheap/207233/34 "2003-10-16T04:04:49Z")
**Isabelle** , they don’t celebrate Admin Day at my company either. And we have a wage freeze for the forseeable future (I’ve been making $11/hr for a year and a half now, but somehow my duties keep on increasing). And they have four people (two of them part-time with zero benefits) doing the work of six full-timers. Shees. ---
**Author:** ![Dragonblink](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b9bd4f/32.png) [@Dragonblink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dragonblink)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2003, 4:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-company-is-so-cheap/207233/35 "2003-10-16T04:16:56Z")
If you want your TP, toothpaste, etc. to go unmolested, go to CostCo or whatever your local bulk store is, buy the biggest scariest “feminine product” box you can find, take out the contents, and keep the TP in there. I doubt any guy’s gonna go hunting when faced with “EXTRA STRENGTH SPRINGTIME FRESH MASSENGIL” or “ECONO-SIZE MONISTAT DEYEASTIFIER (now with AgentPink Defoliator!)” on the outside of the box. ---
**Author:** ![amarone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e0b2c6/32.png) [@amarone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/amarone)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2003, 11:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-company-is-so-cheap/207233/36 "2003-10-16T11:00:52Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Isabelle \* > \*\*My company is so cheap that they refuse to buy a REAL phone system that has “on hold music” Instead they went to Radio Shack and bought an $80 tape player…which broke a month ago and they are too cheap to replace it. So we currently have no “on hold music” \*\* Well, at least that’s one thing in your company’s favor. “On hold music” is offensive. My company’s system is capable of it, but we’ve turned that option off. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-company-is-so-cheap/207233.md?page=1)