# My computer started to talk to me, out of the blue. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 23, 2005, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-computer-started-to-talk-to-me-out-of-the-blue/332467 "2005-11-23T19:54:46Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 15\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![guizot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guizot/32/3636_2.png) [@guizot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/guizot)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2005, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-computer-started-to-talk-to-me-out-of-the-blue/332467/1 "2005-11-23T19:54:46Z")
My computer just started talking to me, out of the blue. It says weird things which I can’t understand (it speaks English, but has a bad accent). Or it will just say the name of a key when typed. Eventually I noticed this is a feature of XP for people with bad eyes. But I can’t see how it would help anyone. (It also causes crashes.) Does anyone here use this feature? ---
**Author:** ![Kythereia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e8c25b/32.png) [@Kythereia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kythereia)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2005, 8:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-computer-started-to-talk-to-me-out-of-the-blue/332467/2 "2005-11-23T20:24:02Z")
… OK, I have XP on my home computer, and it has _never_ talked to me. Yet. Are you quite certain your system’s not demon-possessed? _grabs bottle of holy water and cross, looks askance_ ---
**Author:** ![Amazon\_Floozy\_Goddess](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/779978/32.png) [@Amazon\_Floozy\_Goddess](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amazon_Floozy_Goddess)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2005, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-computer-started-to-talk-to-me-out-of-the-blue/332467/3 "2005-11-23T20:59:12Z")
_computer screams_ “Your mother writes codes in _HELL!_” “Let Linux F_CK you! Let Linux F_CK you!” 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Dante](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dante/32/9673_2.png) [@Dante](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dante)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2005, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-computer-started-to-talk-to-me-out-of-the-blue/332467/4 "2005-11-23T21:15:30Z")
> [@Amazon Floozy Goddess](#): > > _computer screams_ “Your mother writes codes in _HELL!_” > > “Let Linux F_CK you! Let Linux F_CK you!” > > 😃 BWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!! ---
**Author:** ![Harmonious\_Discord](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/74df32/32.png) [@Harmonious\_Discord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harmonious_Discord)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2005, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-computer-started-to-talk-to-me-out-of-the-blue/332467/5 "2005-11-23T21:21:48Z")
The handicap accessability text reader is terrible. The magnifier program is great and is handy. I use Deskbot with MS Agents to listen to text most of the time. You can get a couple good voices. I use my video card driver magnifier because it uses less resources. ---
**Author:** ![gotpasswords](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c57346/32.png) [@gotpasswords](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gotpasswords)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2005, 11:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-computer-started-to-talk-to-me-out-of-the-blue/332467/6 "2005-11-23T23:28:14Z")
I’ve mananged to hit the secret key combination to turn on that voice. It is very startling indeed, to hear a phantom voice reading off… My documents My computer My network places \ Microsoft outlook Windows explorer Recycle bin \ Internet Explorer ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2005, 11:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-computer-started-to-talk-to-me-out-of-the-blue/332467/7 "2005-11-23T23:43:51Z")
I’ve turned on my text reader. It uses a nice voice named ‘Vicki’. To hear the text read, I highlight the text and hit shift+space. Why not? ---
**Author:** ![GorillaMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/50afbb/32.png) [@GorillaMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GorillaMan)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2005, 11:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-computer-started-to-talk-to-me-out-of-the-blue/332467/8 "2005-11-23T23:46:47Z")
> [@Johnny L.A.](#): > > I’ve turned on my text reader. It uses a nice voice named ‘Vicki’. To hear the text read, I highlight the text and hit shift+space. > > Why not? Because ‘Vicki’ sounds like a tart? 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2005, 11:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-computer-started-to-talk-to-me-out-of-the-blue/332467/9 "2005-11-23T23:54:56Z")
> [@GorillaMan](#): > > Because ‘Vicki’ sounds like a tart? 😛 YOU DON’T SAY THAT ABOUT VICKI! Erm… Actually, it’s just the voice I like best. I wonder if I can download others? (As a result of this post, I’ve changed the reader keys to shift+escape.) ---
**Author:** ![guizot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guizot/32/3636_2.png) [@guizot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/guizot)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2005, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-computer-started-to-talk-to-me-out-of-the-blue/332467/10 "2005-12-01T20:01:29Z")
> [@Johnny L.A.](#): > > YOU DON’T SAY THAT ABOUT VICKI! > > Erm… > > Actually, it’s just the voice I like best. I wonder if I can download others? > > (As a result of this post, I’ve changed the reader keys to shift+escape.) I’ve met Vicki. She is indeed a bit loose. But give her a break–she’s stuck inside a computer. ---
**Author:** ![EmeraldGrue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dc4da7/32.png) [@EmeraldGrue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EmeraldGrue)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2005, 10:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-computer-started-to-talk-to-me-out-of-the-blue/332467/11 "2005-12-01T22:33:48Z")
_I HAVE NO MOUTH AND I MUST SCREAM!_ ---
**Author:** ![E-Sabbath](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e19adc/32.png) [@E-Sabbath](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/E-Sabbath)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2005, 12:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-computer-started-to-talk-to-me-out-of-the-blue/332467/12 "2005-12-02T00:40:23Z")
So… that’s what happened to Vicki… [http://www.dyxploitation.nu/issue5/iss5images/SW\_promo.jpg](http://www.dyxploitation.nu/issue5/iss5images/SW_promo.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![guizot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guizot/32/3636_2.png) [@guizot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/guizot)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2005, 12:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-computer-started-to-talk-to-me-out-of-the-blue/332467/13 "2005-12-03T00:02:57Z")
> [@EmeraldGrue](#): > > _I HAVE NO MOUTH AND I MUST SCREAM!_ Then throw a Malatov Cocktail. I’m sure Ellison would agree. I just want it to say “Hello,” and “How are you?” and things like that. But I really do sympathize (but maybe I should just shut my mouth). ---
**Author:** ![Millit\_the\_Frail](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/51bf81/32.png) [@Millit\_the\_Frail](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Millit_the_Frail)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2005, 3:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-computer-started-to-talk-to-me-out-of-the-blue/332467/14 "2005-12-03T03:58:09Z")
I used to work on an iMac in a psychology lab. It talked to me. Sang, actually. If I’d bring up the “Properties” of any file, it would sing the name of the file in a weird muffled robotic voice. To the tune of “In the Hall of the Mountain King.” Never figured that one out. ---
**Author:** ![wheelie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/b4bc9f/32.png) [@wheelie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wheelie)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2005, 6:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-computer-started-to-talk-to-me-out-of-the-blue/332467/15 "2005-12-03T06:24:34Z")
> [@Millit the Frail](#): > > I used to work on an iMac in a psychology lab. It talked to me. Sang, actually. If I’d bring up the “Properties” of any file, it would sing the name of the file in a weird muffled robotic voice. To the tune of “In the Hall of the Mountain King.” > > Never figured that one out. I think that one’s called Pipe Organ. I use Fred myself, and just for alerts and apps that need attention. It can be kinda weird when I start burning a dvd when I go to bed, then later when I’m asleep, it says “Excuse me, Toast Titanium 6.app needs your attention” when it’s done. The first time it did that, I started to grab my gun, then realized that Stephen Hawking is probably the person least likely to break into my apartment late at night and tell me my disc is done. :smack: