# My cousin's an idiot on 1673467 different levels **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [January 15, 2006, 4:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-cousins-an-idiot-on-1673467-different-levels/340050 "2006-01-15T04:05:25Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![kambuckta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/53a042/32.png) [@kambuckta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kambuckta)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2006, 8:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-cousins-an-idiot-on-1673467-different-levels/340050/21 "2006-01-15T08:32:14Z")
> [@](#): > > …nor do you know that the rosy scenario you painted is true kambuckta. I did not paint a rosy scenario. I suggested that, under the circumstances that were cited, Stacey might well have been doing the best that she could…under the circumstances. She cares for two children, one who needs special care for his behavioural problems, and she is attending to _those_ problems with medical/psychiatric assistance. What is to suggest that she is a victim of some abusive relationship here??? Methinks you might be projecting wot. 😃 For whatever reason (that you, nor I nor the OP are privy to), Stacey loves Bryan, and the family has not fallen into any _greater_ disarray since they started their relationship five years ago (apart from one charge that he is yet to be convicted on). Most of the _problems_ that the OP sees are possible future ones (which may or may not come to be) but in the meantime, he wants to save the children from a situation that he sees as arising from his idiot cousin, but that I see as people dealing with whatever comes their way in the best way they can. YMMV etc ---
**Author:** ![Maastricht](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a88e57/32.png) [@Maastricht](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maastricht)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2006, 8:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-cousins-an-idiot-on-1673467-different-levels/340050/22 "2006-01-15T08:44:21Z")
> [@kambuckta](#): > > … (where’s Dad again???)… My thoughts exactly. So maybe he’s just a weekend dad, but where is HE in all this? Would he come to the kids rescue if you told him about the ways his kids are getting messed up? Quite likely, he has taken his only information from Stacey, and she is probably telling a story of “Difficult Kids”, while leaving out HER part of _why_ they’re difficult kids. The kids themselves probably don’t know anybetter. If Dad asks them “How is mom” they probably will reply, out of a sense of misguided loyalty and because they don’t know any better then what Mom tells them: “Okay. Still ill a lot of times”. When my parents were divorced, I’d only make the mistake of telling Ma about Dads new girlfriend _once_. The first time I told her, Mom would become angry, jealous and unhappy, start verbally abusing dad, interrogate me, question my loyalty etc. Mom was one of those people who would say: " I don’t want to burden the kids with my emotions about the divorce" and then she’d go ahead and poured buckets of verbal emotional vomit over my head anyway. No, I learned at a young age I was better off just to belittle or deny the relationship. So I’d tell Mom “If Dad is seeing anybody? Dunno. I think he’s seeing someone, but I don’t think it’s serious, an anyway”, when the new GF was already an established memeber of the household. My point? Call in the kids father. He’s the one who should carry the responsibility. And quite likely he doesn’t know fully whats going on, because everybody in the household has a staked interest in keeping him in the dark. It would be best for everyone if Stacey was convinced she was doing a terrific job under difficult circumstances and that she was way to heavily overburdened and that it would be best for the kids if they were taken of her shoulders, just for a short while. And keep your feelings of :rolleyes: :dubious: hidden inside why you tell her this. ---
**Author:** ![Good\_Egg](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/96bed5/32.png) [@Good\_Egg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Good_Egg)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2006, 9:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-cousins-an-idiot-on-1673467-different-levels/340050/23 "2006-01-15T09:17:23Z")
I don’t know why the OP felt he had to tell us she is blonde. ---
**Author:** ![kambuckta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/53a042/32.png) [@kambuckta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kambuckta)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2006, 9:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-cousins-an-idiot-on-1673467-different-levels/340050/24 "2006-01-15T09:35:28Z")
> [@Good Egg](#): > > I don’t know why the OP felt he had to tell us she is blonde. 'Cos everybody knows that all blondes are idiots? 😃 Actually, I dunno. I really don’t think that her blondeness has anything to do with the situation, but I wouldn’t be picking on the OP for THAT. ---
**Author:** ![Ice\_Wolf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/dfb087/32.png) [@Ice\_Wolf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ice_Wolf)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2006, 9:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-cousins-an-idiot-on-1673467-different-levels/340050/25 "2006-01-15T09:59:16Z")
My guess: adding “blonde” to “pretty girl” meant she “had everything going for her” (as the stereotype goes). Not some way to disparage blondes, IMHO. ---
**Author:** ![Ice\_Wolf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/dfb087/32.png) [@Ice\_Wolf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ice_Wolf)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2006, 10:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-cousins-an-idiot-on-1673467-different-levels/340050/26 "2006-01-15T10:05:57Z")
Just to add – the situation sounds serious enough that something should be done in the form of official intervention to see that the children involved are safe. It certainly doesn’t sound like they are. ---
**Author:** ![Amaranta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Amaranta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amaranta)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2006, 10:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-cousins-an-idiot-on-1673467-different-levels/340050/27 "2006-01-15T10:16:51Z")
> [@kambuckta](#): > > “Pill hound”?? Sometimes people who are ill need to take pills ya’ know. > Lupus affects a whole range of bodily organs so the number of medications needed might be quite substantial. It does not make one a pill hound if those pills are needed to maintain some quality of life. She’s using Vicodin as bargaining chips. If someone’s got 20 extra Vicodin lying around to get her boyfriend’s buddy to lie to the police, I’m wondering where all those extra pills come from. ---
**Author:** ![Ice\_Wolf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/dfb087/32.png) [@Ice\_Wolf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ice_Wolf)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2006, 11:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-cousins-an-idiot-on-1673467-different-levels/340050/28 "2006-01-15T11:07:34Z")
I agree, **amaranta**. Starting to sound like this lady hoards up her scripts. That would certainly mean “pill hound” to me. Hyperchondriac as well? ---
**Author:** ![kambuckta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/53a042/32.png) [@kambuckta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kambuckta)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2006, 11:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-cousins-an-idiot-on-1673467-different-levels/340050/29 "2006-01-15T11:09:16Z")
> [@amaranta](#): > > She’s using Vicodin as bargaining chips. If someone’s got 20 extra Vicodin lying around to get her boyfriend’s buddy to lie to the police, I’m wondering where all those extra pills come from. Well, if she’s _giving_ them away, then she sure ain’t using them is she??..so she’s less likely to be doped up in bed as the OP suggested she was. ---
**Author:** ![Ice\_Wolf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/dfb087/32.png) [@Ice\_Wolf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ice_Wolf)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2006, 11:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-cousins-an-idiot-on-1673467-different-levels/340050/30 "2006-01-15T11:11:45Z")
> [@kambuckta](#): > > Well, if she’s _giving_ them away, then she sure ain’t using them is she??..so she’s less likely to be doped up in bed as the OP suggested she was. Depends on how many sources she has for the pills in the first place, **kambuckta**. ---
**Author:** ![kambuckta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/53a042/32.png) [@kambuckta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kambuckta)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2006, 11:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-cousins-an-idiot-on-1673467-different-levels/340050/31 "2006-01-15T11:15:24Z")
> [@Ice Wolf](#): > > I agree, **amaranta**. Starting to sound like this lady hoards up her scripts. That would certainly mean “pill hound” to me. Hyperchondriac as well? It’s HypOchondriac. Given your familiarity with mdical conditions such as people hoarding their doctors’ scripts, I would have thought you would have been equally as familiar with the spelling of the condition **Icey**. Just saying. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Zabali\_Clawbane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/ecd19e/32.png) [@Zabali\_Clawbane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zabali_Clawbane)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2006, 11:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-cousins-an-idiot-on-1673467-different-levels/340050/32 "2006-01-15T11:24:03Z")
> [@kambuckta](#): > > Well, if she’s _giving_ them away, then she sure ain’t using them is she??..so she’s less likely to be doped up in bed as the OP suggested she was. You are completely ignoring the fact that giving away prescription medicines is illegal, ESPECIALLY Vicodin, which is a [schedule 2 drug](http://www.usdoj.gov/dea/pubs/scheduling.html). (See Hydrocodone in the Schedule II list) [Controlled Substances Act](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Controlled_substance) Stacey isn’t as “noble” as you’d like to think, though I think she is probably still a decent person inside and that she’s making VERY bad choices right now. I’m more inclined to think that the fact that she is doing such things is a symptom of a hidden abusive relationship. I think the relationship is probably abusive on some level, it’s co-dependant at the least. The thing is, at this rate she’s going to pull more than one person down with her if there is no intervention. ---
**Author:** ![Ice\_Wolf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/dfb087/32.png) [@Ice\_Wolf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ice_Wolf)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2006, 11:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-cousins-an-idiot-on-1673467-different-levels/340050/33 "2006-01-15T11:39:51Z")
> [@kambuckta](#): > > It’s HypOchondriac. > > Given your familiarity with mdical conditions such as people hoarding their doctors’ scripts, I would have thought you would have been equally as familiar with the spelling of the condition **Icey**. > > Just saying. 😛 And that comment progresses the discussion – how? Just saying. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![chinaglenn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e5b9ba/32.png) [@chinaglenn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chinaglenn)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2006, 11:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-cousins-an-idiot-on-1673467-different-levels/340050/34 "2006-01-15T11:57:22Z")
Throw Bryan off a cliff and pin a suicide note to his back would be a start. If First degree murder is not your style, tell the cops everything that you know about him and his activities. Get his ass thrown in prison for 20 years as a three strike offender. He has to your knowledge, 1) smoked crack 2) conspiracy to commit perjury 3) possession of stolen property 4) Probably sold dope, especially to minors. Very few people can smoke crack recreationally on a Saturday night. it creeps up on you when your mind and body crave the shit and the addict will do anything and everything to get a hit. I know, I was on that shit for years and now have several minor arrests against me because of that. Crackheads are brazen too, and thievery becomes part of the act. Is your cousin’s valuable possessions seem to disappear? Does she fail to pay her light and phone bill? Being a crack addict is similar to being mentally ill. There is an excellent movie called “Spun” [http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0283003/](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0283003/) about Meth addicts, but crack or meth, or heroin, it’s all the same, Remove those two children from an insane drug addict mother that allows wanton crime in her home. I hate to say it, but your mother knows what’s going on, but she feels the safest and secure there. Why? Put the older boy in a loving home where he will be spanked or punished if he does bad things or commits bad behavior. He has no discipline and does not understand right from wrong, because he was never taught by the parents. Maybe a stint in Juvenile Hall will set him straight, maybe not. Tell him that from time to time that 13 year olds are tried as adults for crime. Short stints in the joint will open some people’s eyes. It did me. Same with the little boy, he is probably the only one left salvaging. Is throwing Bryan (I keep having the image of the dog on “Family Guy”), Mama, and Grandma and possibly teenage delinquent in the clink worth it to save one life? Maybe or maybe not. Someone also needs to kick the father of the two lads hard in the nuts with steel toed boots so he cannot sire another child that he only sees on weekends and leave the raising to criminals Personally, I would just tell all of them to stay away from me. But I don’t know you, and maybe you are the one to come in and help those boys. ---
**Author:** ![Ice\_Wolf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/dfb087/32.png) [@Ice\_Wolf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ice_Wolf)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2006, 12:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-cousins-an-idiot-on-1673467-different-levels/340050/35 "2006-01-15T12:27:21Z")
> [@Superdude](#): > > And my mother’s currently living there, also. As much as my mother and I fight and don’t get along, I can’t throw her to the wolves. Don’t know how old your mother is, **Superdude** , but if she’s elderly or unable to live alone for some reason, she also needs a better home environment than that. ---
**Author:** ![Metacom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ecae2f/32.png) [@Metacom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Metacom)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2006, 3:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-cousins-an-idiot-on-1673467-different-levels/340050/36 "2006-01-15T15:08:50Z")
> [@Otto](#): > > The drug addict mother, who can’t feed her children because she needs the grocery money for bail, is planning on marrying a pothead habitual felon who has already exposed them to crack, and you don’t think it warrants getting the kids out of the house? Um, no. I said I didn’t think CPS would get involved. And fuck you. ---
**Author:** ![Metacom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ecae2f/32.png) [@Metacom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Metacom)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2006, 3:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-cousins-an-idiot-on-1673467-different-levels/340050/37 "2006-01-15T15:13:05Z")
[QUOTE=kambuckta] Secondly, Stacey has obviously recognised that Zach has some serious issues to deal with, seeing that he too has been hospitalised a number of times. These problems may **or may not** [bolding by Metacom] have anything to do with Stacey’s skills as a mother, and might have some other cause. Yet she is trying to deal with them apparently because Zach IS getting some help from professionals here. I don’t know what else she could do under the circumstances./QUOTE] BWAHAHAHA! _snort_ Yeah. They may not have anything to do with his mother. And the moon landing may have been fake. And the mob may have killed JFK. It’s probably just a chemical imbalance in his brain. Has nothing to do with the result of his mom’s lifestyle! He just needs the proper drugs so he can properly cope with her lifestyle. Hell, how would you like to be the parent of a mentally ill child? His genetic medical condition is probably making _her_ life harder and responsible for some of the bad things that are happening to her! ---
**Author:** ![Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otto)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2006, 3:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-cousins-an-idiot-on-1673467-different-levels/340050/38 "2006-01-15T15:49:57Z")
> [@Metacom](#): > > Um, no. > > I said I didn’t think CPS would get involved. > > And fuck you. Well, um, no, you _actually_ said > [@Metacom](#): > > I thought he was asking if he should report the welfare fraud. **It doesn’t sound like the home situation is nearly bad enough to have the kids removed from it**. (emphasis added for the suddenly amnesiac) And fuck you right back, you lying scumbag. ---
**Author:** ![Metacom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ecae2f/32.png) [@Metacom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Metacom)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2006, 3:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-cousins-an-idiot-on-1673467-different-levels/340050/39 "2006-01-15T15:56:34Z")
> [@Otto](#): > > Well, um, no, you _actually_ said > > (emphasis added for the suddenly amnesiac) > > And fuck you right back, you lying scumbag. _CONTEXT_, my pigrimming doper comrade. Of the three lines in that post, you removed _one_ of them when you quoted it above. That line was: > [@Metacom](#): > > Why is everyone talking about calling CPS? I was talking about CPS. Note that I said “have the kids removed”. It’s obvious to anyone that doesn’t believe in child-removing wunderfaeries that the entity doing the removing would be CPS, or some other authority. I was stating that the situation didn’t sound bad enough for the authorities to remove the kids from the home. I wasn’t talking about what I’d _like_ to happen. ---
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2006, 4:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-cousins-an-idiot-on-1673467-different-levels/340050/40 "2006-01-15T16:19:42Z")
> [@Zabali\_Clawbane](#): > > You are completely ignoring the fact that giving away prescription medicines is illegal, ESPECIALLY Vicodin, which is a [schedule 2 drug](http://www.usdoj.gov/dea/pubs/scheduling.html). Vicodin is Sched III, not II. Giving it away is still illegal, tho. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-cousins-an-idiot-on-1673467-different-levels/340050.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-cousins-an-idiot-on-1673467-different-levels/340050.md?page=3)