# My cousin's an idiot on 1673467 different levels **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [January 15, 2006, 4:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-cousins-an-idiot-on-1673467-different-levels/340050 "2006-01-15T04:05:25Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 15\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2006, 4:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-cousins-an-idiot-on-1673467-different-levels/340050/41 "2006-01-15T16:22:19Z")
> [@Qadgop the Mercotan](#): > > Vicodin is Sched III, not II. Giving it away is still illegal, tho. Just to elaborate further, only pure hydrocodone is Sched II. Hydrocodone mixed with acetaminophen (vicodin), ibuprofen (vicoprofen) or aspirin (not sure they make it anymore) is Sched III. I’m not presently aware if pure hydrocodone unmixed with the above substances is available by prescription. I know that codiene and oxycodone are (I write for those from time to time). ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2006, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-cousins-an-idiot-on-1673467-different-levels/340050/42 "2006-01-15T16:27:53Z")
Child protection services won’t always remove the kids in any case, in fact if the family can be salvaged intact it’s the preferred outcome. CPS (Department of Social Services in my state) has a bunch of different intervention methods short of removing the kids. Even when children are removed from a home, the desired outcome is to change the home situation to the point where the kids can go back, and the agency will go for permanent removal as a last resort. Cases in point: My friend who takes in special needs foster kids has two adult daughters, one who’s adopted one of the foster kids, another who’s in the process of doing so. The adopted kid was whored out to pedophiles by his own mother at the age of two. DSS/the judge still tried reuniting “mother” and son before terminating parental rights and permitting the adoption. The kid now going through the adoption process came to my friend with two freshly broken legs and old breaks in both arms. My friend’s daughter has been approved to adopt, but the birth mother and (step?)father are fighting it and it’s still possible the kid will be ordered returned to them. So involving child protection services does not equal taking her kids, not unless a less drastic solution is ruled out. ---
**Author:** ![coffeecat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/coffeecat/32/3405_2.png) [@coffeecat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/coffeecat)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2006, 4:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-cousins-an-idiot-on-1673467-different-levels/340050/43 "2006-01-15T16:53:23Z")
[QUOTE=Metacom] > [@kambuckta](#): > > Secondly, Stacey has obviously recognised that Zach has some serious issues to deal with, seeing that he too has been hospitalised a number of times. These problems may **or may not** [bolding by Metacom] have anything to do with Stacey’s skills as a mother, and might have some other cause. Yet she is trying to deal with them apparently because Zach IS getting some help from professionals here. I don’t know what else she could do under the circumstances./QUOTE] > BWAHAHAHA! > > _snort_ > > Yeah. They may not have anything to do with his mother. And the moon landing may have been fake. And the mob may have killed JFK. [Can happen](http://www.eurekalert.org/pub_releases/2005-06/ra-nsh053105.php). Remember when schizophrenia and autism were all Mom’s fault? I haven’t found any peer-reviewed articles of exhaustive studies pointing to faked moon landings or JFK conspiracies, though. The home situation does sound less than stellar, as best as you can tell such things second-hand over the net. ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2006, 4:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-cousins-an-idiot-on-1673467-different-levels/340050/44 "2006-01-15T16:56:26Z")
> [@Droolian](#): > > While I may get blasted for saying this, your cousin is quite correct about while she doesn’t approve of the decisions you make regarding your life, they’re yours to make, and the least you can do is respect her in the same way. > > With that out of the way, I think unless something horrifically awful happens, your cousin will just stay on the same track. I’d agree with you except there are kidlets involved. If the parents won’t look out and raise their children, it falls to others to take over. ---
**Author:** ![Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otto)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2006, 5:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-cousins-an-idiot-on-1673467-different-levels/340050/45 "2006-01-15T17:46:21Z")
> [@Metacom](#): > > _CONTEXT_, my pigrimming doper comrade. INTELLECTUAL DISHONESTY, my douche-quaffing Doper comrade. > [@Metacom](#): > > I was stating that the situation didn’t sound bad enough for the authorities to remove the kids from the home. I wasn’t talking about what I’d like to happen. So you think the situation isn’t bad enough to warrant involving the proper authorities to remove the children, but you still want the children removed? That’s nice and consistent… ---
**Author:** ![Revenant\_Threshold](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f1d935/32.png) [@Revenant\_Threshold](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revenant_Threshold)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2006, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-cousins-an-idiot-on-1673467-different-levels/340050/46 "2006-01-15T17:56:45Z")
> [@Otto](#): > > So you think the situation isn’t bad enough to warrant involving the proper authorities to remove the children, but you still want the children removed? That’s nice and consistent… Actually, I don’t think it’s dishonest. I believe Metacom is saying he doesn’t think that **legally** there’s enough evidence for the authorities to remove the children - while he, personally, feels that’s what should happen. Is that right? ---
**Author:** ![Metacom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ecae2f/32.png) [@Metacom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Metacom)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2006, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-cousins-an-idiot-on-1673467-different-levels/340050/47 "2006-01-15T18:03:23Z")
> [@Revenant Threshold](#): > > Actually, I don’t think it’s dishonest. I believe Metacom is saying he doesn’t think that **legally** there’s enough evidence for the authorities to remove the children - while he, personally, feels that’s what should happen. Is that right? Exactly. The situation sucks, but I really don’t see anything in the OP that rises to the level of “authorities swoop in to rescue children” (or even “authorities become heavily involved with family”). At least in my experience, the threshold for that is a LOT higher then some in this thread think. ---
**Author:** ![bobkitty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/c67d28/32.png) [@bobkitty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bobkitty)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2006, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-cousins-an-idiot-on-1673467-different-levels/340050/48 "2006-01-15T19:54:20Z")
> [@Metacom](#): > > Exactly. > > The situation sucks, but I really don’t see anything in the OP that rises to the level of “authorities swoop in to rescue children” (or even “authorities become heavily involved with family”). At least in my experience, the threshold for that is a LOT higher then some in this thread think. Have you _directly worked_ with DFCS, or are you talking out of your ass? Yes, the last option is to “swoop in” and take the kids from the home (as **ETF** so succinctly described), but there are multiple things in the OP that _just one or two of which_ would warrant the authorities becoming heavily involved: > [@](#): > > - In the last year, the cops have been to her house more times than I can count due to things like Zach fighting with neighborhood kids, stealing things out of people’s garages, etc. > > - She has lupus which debiltates her to the point of an average of two to three ER visits every month. She’s also a pill hound, and her idea of parenting is to lay in her bed and yell at the kids. > > - Bryan has huge get-togethers that involve several neighborhood people (including minors) over for pot parties. In recent months, he’s also bridged over to crack on occasion. While her kids are up and around. > > - Few months later, Travis and Bryan are all buddy-buddy again. And they promptly get arrested for robbery, theft, etc. > > - he decides that he can’t go back to jail, and - rather than talking to the police, who are only looking for Travis - opts to hide Travis in the attic, and crawl out a back window and hide under the house. Needless to say, the police soon found and arrested Bryan, and impounded the car that Bryan was using (which contained stolen merchandise. This does not address the plans for illegal activity, such as offering someone drugs to lie to the police, lying to the police oneself, or planning on defrauding the government. Stace sounds like she is extremely overwhelmed, and willing to hang on to this guy at any cost, even the lives (not, hopefully, in a literal way) of her children. She sounds _exactly_ like the type of person DFCS was made for- she is physically incapacitated, financially insolvent, involved with criminal activity (one would imagine she’s aware she’s not supposed to offer other people her medication, that allowing someone to hide a potential felon in your attic is a bad idea, and that allowing pot-and-other-drug parties in your home is probably not going to win you mother of the year, especially if your justification is the guy running the pot parties “puts up with your pill-popping.”), and making extraordinarily poor parenting/life decisions. While the kids very well may remain in the home, DFCS and other authorities _would_ certainly poke their heads up at some of the things going on in the house, and _would_ become involved. I’m with the “call DFCS” crowd. Of course, I’m a mandated reporter, so I have to make those calls all the time, so sometimes I’m forced to err on the side of caution. But this seems pretty straightforward to me. ---
**Author:** ![wring](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/838e76/32.png) [@wring](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wring)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2006, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-cousins-an-idiot-on-1673467-different-levels/340050/49 "2006-01-15T20:26:06Z")
> [@Metacom](#): > > Exactly. > > The situation sucks, but I really don’t see anything in the OP that rises to the level of “authorities swoop in to rescue children” (or even “authorities become heavily involved with family”). At least in my experience, the threshold for that is a LOT higher then some in this thread think. I would also note that the cops had been there apparently, without calling DPS, that whoever put him on house arrest would have also visited the house. it seems that some folks in authority are aware of the situation, does it not? ---
**Author:** ![Metacom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ecae2f/32.png) [@Metacom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Metacom)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2006, 9:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-cousins-an-idiot-on-1673467-different-levels/340050/50 "2006-01-15T21:29:30Z")
> [@bobkitty](#): > > Have you _directly worked_ with DFCS, or are you talking out of your ass? False dilemna. I haven’t directly worked with DFCS, but I’m not talking out my ass either. My childhood sounds similar to Zach’s, and in the course of it I met an awful lot of other kids who were involved in the system to varying degrees. Many came from homes as bad as or worse then what the OP describes, and while authorities were often involved to some degree, removal seemed pretty uncommon. Except for the ones that ended up in group homes or lockdown residential treatment, if that counts. And given that the mother in this case doesn’t seem to have physically abused or neglected her kids _and_ that she’s persuing treatment for one that’s been identified as mentally ill, I just don’t see any kind of child welfare agency doing much of anything in this case. I wouldn’t mind being proven wrong, though. I think the welfare fraud is what’s most likely to draw serious legal attention. > [@wring](#): > > I would also note that the cops had been there apparently, without calling DPS, that whoever put him on house arrest would have also visited the house. it seems that some folks in authority are aware of the situation, does it not? Exactly. ---
**Author:** ![Superdude](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/superdude/32/13450_2.png) [@Superdude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superdude)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2006, 4:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-cousins-an-idiot-on-1673467-different-levels/340050/51 "2006-01-16T04:55:48Z")
> [@Metacom](#): > > I think the welfare fraud is what’s most likely to draw serious legal attention. To add to the scenario: I learned today that Stacey (who, remember, is asking me to help with her grocieries) is laying out over $100 _a week_ to keep Bryan out of jail and on home incarceration, _AND_ managed to get a friend of hers to steal around $900 from her employer to pay the lawyer to get Bryan out of jail. ---
**Author:** ![Maastricht](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a88e57/32.png) [@Maastricht](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maastricht)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2006, 6:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-cousins-an-idiot-on-1673467-different-levels/340050/52 "2006-01-16T06:08:44Z")
> [@Superdude](#): > > To add to the scenario: > > I learned today that Stacey (who, remember, is asking me to help with her grocieries) is laying out over $100 _a week_ to keep Bryan out of jail and on home incarceration, _AND_ managed to get a friend of hers to steal around $900 from her employer to pay the lawyer to get Bryan out of jail. :mad: :mad: :mad: See? People like Stacey and Brian are sooooo helpless… :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![Ice\_Wolf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/dfb087/32.png) [@Ice\_Wolf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ice_Wolf)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2006, 7:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-cousins-an-idiot-on-1673467-different-levels/340050/53 "2006-01-16T07:52:05Z")
I reckon it’s a hopeless case. If the authorities _don’t_ think there’s anything wrong, if they’ve seen the set-up properly, then yeah – it’s the fraud and all the et ceteras along with that that’ll bring down that house of cards. ---
**Author:** ![Clothahump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/51bf81/32.png) [@Clothahump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clothahump)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2006, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-cousins-an-idiot-on-1673467-different-levels/340050/54 "2006-01-16T16:57:36Z")
> [@Superdude](#): > > …snip… > I’m conflicted. I couldn’t help but pick up a few groceries, as I can’t let her kids do without because of their mother’s fucked up priorities (in my opinion, the best thing that could happen to these kids is to be taken away. And I don’t say this lightly). However, I’d be lying if I didn’t say that part of me wants to call the powers that be, and inform them. However, she’s family. Meaningless. Call CPS and get those kids out of there immediately if not sooner. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2006, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-cousins-an-idiot-on-1673467-different-levels/340050/55 "2006-01-16T20:39:47Z")
Your mother is family too, **Superdude** , as are your nephews. Allow me to join in the opinion that leaving them in their current circumstances amounts to “throwing them to the wolves” at least as much as does alerting to authorities to the fraud conspiracy. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-cousins-an-idiot-on-1673467-different-levels/340050.md?page=2)