# My cousin's dead. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 13, 2000, 3:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-cousins-dead/45296 "2000-12-13T03:32:43Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Jester](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jester/32/8223_2.png) [@Jester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jester)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2000, 3:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-cousins-dead/45296/1 "2000-12-13T03:32:43Z")
He was 19. He died on Saturday night, but it’s just starting to set in. Apparently, he, his girlfriend, and another girl were out on a train trestle over a river, when a train came through suddenly. They couldn’t get off the bridge in time, so they had to jump. My cousin and his girlfriend jumped together, and she landed on a support about 10 feet below the tracks. She was stranded there for about 4 hours, but is fine now. My cousin, however, fell 180 ft. onto an island in the river and died instantly. The other girl froze up, and was hit by the train, knocking her off of the trestle. I was at a dance at the time. We flew down to Virginia last night, to see my uncle and the rest of the family, but had to come back up tonight. We aren’t going to be able to go to the funeral. Today we just tried to be there for the family as much as we could. I went to help pack up the things in his college dorm, which was when things started to set in. Alot of his things brought back a huge number of memories. This kid was more or less my hero when I was growing up. To say that he was a “character” would be a gross understatement. He had the power to make anyone laugh, in any situation, and always took a humorous look at things. In short, he had a few screws loose, but in all the right places. Then, he made one mistake, and didn’t get a second chance. Because the three of them wanted to see a view of the river at night, one of the nicest people I’ve ever met is gone. I feel bad enough, but I can’t fathom how the immediate families of the two victims are feeling, and I feel especially terrible for the girlfriend, who now has to live with this memory. For the love of God, think before you do things like that. Not everybody gets a chance to learn from their mistakes. ---
**Author:** ![reprise](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ea666f/32.png) [@reprise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/reprise)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2000, 3:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-cousins-dead/45296/2 "2000-12-13T03:36:22Z")
I wish that I had something witty to say - I don’t My thoughts are with you. If you need to ventilate, email me through my profile and I’ll give you my ICQ number. ---
**Author:** ![Juniper200](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df788c/32.png) [@Juniper200](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Juniper200)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2000, 3:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-cousins-dead/45296/3 "2000-12-13T03:39:03Z")
My deepest sympathies to you and your family, Jester. It’s heartbreaking to lose anyone you love, and I imagine that it’s infinitely worse when the tragedy could have been so easily avoided. My thoughts will be with you and yours in the days ahead. ---
**Author:** ![nashiitashii](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/7c8e57/32.png) [@nashiitashii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nashiitashii)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2000, 3:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-cousins-dead/45296/4 "2000-12-13T03:39:06Z")
{{{{{{{Jester}}}}}}} I know friends who died because of multiple stupid mistakes. A girl I knew died partly because someone stole a car and didn’t see her, and partly because she was rushing to meet her parents when she had gone to a friend’s house that she wasn’t supposed to be at. ---
**Author:** ![Rasa](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rasa/32/3578_2.png) [@Rasa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rasa)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2000, 3:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-cousins-dead/45296/5 "2000-12-13T03:39:41Z")
Hoooooley shit. A similar thing happened to a friend of mine, years ago. Train, tresle, she fell to her death. ☹ I’m sorry, Jester. ---
**Author:** ![Nocturne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/9fc348/32.png) [@Nocturne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nocturne)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2000, 3:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-cousins-dead/45296/6 "2000-12-13T03:42:41Z")
(((Jester))) It’s rough. I lost a cousin when we were both 12. I’m so very, very sorry. I’ll remember you and your family in the coming days. ---
**Author:** ![Ayesha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c0e974/32.png) [@Ayesha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ayesha)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2000, 3:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-cousins-dead/45296/7 "2000-12-13T03:44:06Z")
Jester, I am so very sorry. Believe it or not this made the Houston Cronicle. Here’s a link, don’t know how long it will be good though. {url][http://www.chron.com/cs/CDA/story.hts/metropolitan/769909](http://www.chron.com/cs/CDA/story.hts/metropolitan/769909) Again I am sorry for your loss and will be praying for all those touched by this tragedy. ---
**Author:** ![Zenster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/cdc98d/32.png) [@Zenster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zenster)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2000, 3:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-cousins-dead/45296/8 "2000-12-13T03:44:18Z")
This is all I have to offer beyond my sincerest condolences; **Tibetan Sutra ©** **W** e must not be afraid, of letting go our friends. We must know that we will, find them in the end. They’re always there, in our hearts and in our minds. They give us something new, each day for us to find. _Chorus_ **A** nd, though we know, that these things, they all are true. Yet, we still act as though, all this we never knew. It’s hard to show, just what life, means to me. ('cause) There’s so far to go, and so much that we can be. **W** e must not worry over, things we cannot change. Only that which hurts is that which, we must rearrange. Take not for granted (that), there’ll be more time to pass. Make sure that all you give, is all that’s meant to last. _Chorus_ **A** nd, though we know, that these things, they all are true. Yet, we still act as though, all this we never knew. It’s hard to show, just what life, means to me. ('cause) There’s so far to go, and so much that we can be. **A** nd so we learn to fight, the darkness in our lives. We learn to keep the flame, by which all life survives. And, though we’ll never be, the same as yesterday. Time will never change the meaning, of these words I say… (Time will never change the meaning, of this song I play.) _Chorus_ **A** nd, though we know, that these things, they all are true. Yet, we still act as though, all this we never knew. It’s hard to show, just what life, means to me. ('cause) There’s so far to go, and so much that we can be. **W** e must not be afraid, of letting go our friends. We must know that we will, find them in the end. (Aren’t) they always there, in our hearts and in our minds? They give us something new, each day for us to find. _Chorus_ **A** nd, though we know, that these things, they all are true. Yet, we still act as though, all this we never knew. It’s hard to show, just what life, means to me. ('cause) There’s so far to go, and so much that we can be. (yes)There’s so far to go, and so much that we can be. There’s so far to go, and so much that we can be. _This Too Shall Pass_, Chris ---
**Author:** ![Silver\_Fire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e4f/32.png) [@Silver\_Fire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silver_Fire)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2000, 3:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-cousins-dead/45296/9 "2000-12-13T03:46:54Z")
{{{{{Jester}}}}} So sad… ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Ayesha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c0e974/32.png) [@Ayesha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ayesha)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2000, 3:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-cousins-dead/45296/10 "2000-12-13T03:49:22Z")
I hate it when I mess up like that, here is the link [http://www.chron.com/cs/CDA/story.hts/metropolitan/769909](http://www.chron.com/cs/CDA/story.hts/metropolitan/769909) ---
**Author:** ![Ringo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/779978/32.png) [@Ringo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ringo)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2000, 3:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-cousins-dead/45296/11 "2000-12-13T03:56:17Z")
Oooo! That wracked me to read (your post and the article). I am so sorry to hear that, Jester. You’ll get through, but I understand it’s a big hurt. My thoughts are with you and your family. ---
**Author:** ![MikeG](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mikeg/32/4329_2.png) [@MikeG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MikeG)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2000, 4:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-cousins-dead/45296/12 "2000-12-13T04:03:58Z")
My sincerest condolences, jester. My thoughts and prayers will be with you. Mike p.s. Feel free to email me anytime- I’ve dealt with a lot of loss and I know how it can be when it seems there is no one around who could possibly know what you’re going through. Remember this in the weeks ahead : When you find weird things happening or you find yourself acting out, this is normal! You will survive, and life will get better. ---
**Author:** ![Shadowfox](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c89c15/32.png) [@Shadowfox](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shadowfox)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2000, 4:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-cousins-dead/45296/13 "2000-12-13T04:04:44Z")
I don’t know what else to say except that you and your family have my condolences. I lost a friend a few years back because his buddy, who was driving, decided to try and beat the train at the crossing, and they both paid the prices with their lives. Listen up kids! Playing chicken with a train is a definite no-no, you could lose your life doing it. ---
**Author:** ![Serendipity](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f17d59/32.png) [@Serendipity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Serendipity)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2000, 4:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-cousins-dead/45296/14 "2000-12-13T04:24:49Z")
(((((((((Jester)))))))))) I’m so sorry to hear about your cousin’s death. Know that you and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers. If you ever need anything, don’t hesitate to e-mail me. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![TVeblen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/4bbf92/32.png) [@TVeblen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TVeblen)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2000, 4:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-cousins-dead/45296/15 "2000-12-13T04:29:39Z")
I’m so sorry for your pain and loss, **Jester**. It’s a tragedy all the way around. Don’t torture yourself with “what ifs”. We all take risks everyday, some of them completely invisible. Your cousin’s life is what mattered, not the manner of his death. The pain, numbness, disbelief and anger will muddle around for a while. Get through the best way you can, and please remember there are people wishing you comfort, and thinking of your cousin’s family as well. Veb ---
**Author:** ![porcupine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ac91a4/32.png) [@porcupine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/porcupine)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2000, 4:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-cousins-dead/45296/16 "2000-12-13T04:32:49Z")
I’m sorry, Jester. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2000, 4:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-cousins-dead/45296/17 "2000-12-13T04:36:11Z")
I’m really sorry to hear about your loss. I don’t have any comforting words, but if you want to scream I’m an email away. ---
**Author:** ![Ogre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ecb155/32.png) [@Ogre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ogre)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2000, 4:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-cousins-dead/45296/18 "2000-12-13T04:39:23Z")
I’m sorry, Jester. ---
**Author:** ![brachyrhynchos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/brachyrhynchos/32/376_2.png) [@brachyrhynchos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brachyrhynchos)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2000, 4:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-cousins-dead/45296/19 "2000-12-13T04:44:09Z")
Jester, I am so sorry for your loss. Tragic accidents like this are so bewildering that it is sometimes hard to wrap your mind around their finality. So hard to comprehend. My thoughts to you, your cousin’s family, and especially your cousin’s girlfriend. ---
**Author:** ![mouthbreather](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a698b9/32.png) [@mouthbreather](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mouthbreather)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2000, 4:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-cousins-dead/45296/20 "2000-12-13T04:44:36Z")
Wow. Kids, **please** learn that train trestles are not something to screw around with. Stay off of them! Jester’s cousin, Rasa’s friend, and a friend of mine that got VERY lucky. She fell 60 feet from a trestle and landed on the ground. She had the whole left side of her body crushed, and after two years of surgery and rehab, she is walking again. Jester, I don’t know what to say other than I’m honestly sorry and although it sounds meaningless now, things **will** get better for you. Take care of yourself. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-cousins-dead/45296.md?page=2)