# My crazy neighbor is ruining my life!!! **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [January 28, 2015, 3:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-crazy-neighbor-is-ruining-my-life/711108 "2015-01-28T15:21:31Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2015, 9:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-crazy-neighbor-is-ruining-my-life/711108/61 "2015-01-29T21:02:13Z")
> [@Maastricht](#): > > Gang up with the neighbours to combine camera footage (buttonhole cams) \ I read that as “butthole cams.” :smack: ---
**Author:** ![Asimovian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asimovian/32/172_2.png) [@Asimovian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Asimovian)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2015, 9:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-crazy-neighbor-is-ruining-my-life/711108/62 "2015-01-29T21:49:28Z")
> [@CraterLayer](#): > > I would rent the house to a self-made cripple who has issues with everyone and everything, then put up a “handicapped only” sign covering the whole yard and street frontage, and see what develops. As noted in the post directly above this one, personal insults aren’t allowed outside of the Pit. To be clear, this includes semi-veiled insults. If anyone wishes to attack a specific poster or posters, take it to the Pit. Leave it out of this thread. ---
**Author:** ![Q.N.Jones](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/3da27b/32.png) [@Q.N.Jones](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Q.N.Jones)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2015, 10:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-crazy-neighbor-is-ruining-my-life/711108/63 "2015-01-29T22:21:30Z")
> [@MissSwitac](#): > > That’s one of the reason I will be contacting a lawyer. His home is listed under someone else’s name on the cities website and since crazy guy is living there in what I presume is as a tenant, I wonder if I could file a complaint against the actual home owner? There are at least 7 other families that are fearful of the guy, no longer use their front yards because of this guy, have caught him snooping on their property or are tired of his antics and looking for a reason to get even with him. Maybe file a group complaint against the homeowner, city or police. I’m working on it. I think you will find it far cheaper and more effective to install a webcam and go through the criminal justice system. Trying to prove that the landlord is responsible for the actions of the crazy tenant will be very expensive, very time-consuming, and has a very low success rate. A civil attorney might be very willing to take on your case, and bill you for hours worked, to no avail. Our clients spent 3 years, and did not recover a dime, even though they won their case. ---
**Author:** ![LurkerInNJ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ed655f/32.png) [@LurkerInNJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LurkerInNJ)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2015, 10:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-crazy-neighbor-is-ruining-my-life/711108/64 "2015-01-29T22:21:55Z")
> [@enipla](#): > > Why should the OP have to install video cameras and a fence (if it’s allowed or affordable) and an air conditioner (in Michigan) to prevent this guy from coming into her yard and subjecting her to his racist diatribe? Because taking these actions would have changed her circumstances greatly and solved a lot of her problems. ---
**Author:** ![slash2k](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/439d5e/32.png) [@slash2k](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/slash2k)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2015, 10:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-crazy-neighbor-is-ruining-my-life/711108/65 "2015-01-29T22:28:15Z")
> [@LurkerInNJ](#): > > Because taking these actions would have changed her circumstances greatly and solved a lot of her problems. They’re not going to solve the problem she’s got now. If nobody’s living in the house, she’s likely to find that the air conditioner meets the same fate as the for-sale signs (busting up ACs on unoccupied houses for the scrap metal is quite common in my neck of the woods), and she’s already explained that a fence that would be legal in her jurisdiction wouldn’t block his access or any potential buyer’s view of him. Video surveillance is probably the best bet now, but that’s really only to gather evidence to get him locked him while she tries to find a buyer. ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2015, 10:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-crazy-neighbor-is-ruining-my-life/711108/66 "2015-01-29T22:46:37Z")
To the OP, I may have overstated the decline of Dearborn Heights and I meant no offense. Yes, of course I’ve been to the city and no, I was not raised in a sheltered, upper-middle class environment. While I clearly did not get a complete and therefore accurate picture of DH, the admittedly partial picture I did get was decidedly less than rosy. But I apologize for making my comment here. Ignorant and ill-advised. ---
**Author:** ![Artemis\_Tardis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/4bbf92/32.png) [@Artemis\_Tardis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Artemis_Tardis)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2015, 11:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-crazy-neighbor-is-ruining-my-life/711108/67 "2015-01-29T23:15:46Z")
Oh my, oh my, this is material for a sitcom! Also, cameras. Even some mock ones. Talk with a neighbour and ask to install cameras facing your old house. ---
**Author:** ![dada2fish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ccd318/32.png) [@dada2fish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dada2fish)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2015, 1:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-crazy-neighbor-is-ruining-my-life/711108/68 "2015-01-30T01:00:14Z")
> [@FuriousGeorge](#): > > I don’t mean to doubt your word or your motivations and, lord knows, I have my own issee with my overly concerned neighbor;but, some of your story doesn’t make sense, in terms of the not wanting to be involved, ignore the neighbor, etc… > > You seem to have some very specific detailed info that isn’t just through the walls, can’t be helped, only heard snippets of conversations kind of stuff. I mean how do you know his co-workers stole his key, waited outside his home and pulled a Luca Brasi in his heating ducts when trying to completely ignore the nutjob next door. Internal feelings and motivations of his mother aren’t heard through accidental exposure to background noise. I’m not doubting the veracity of the facts, I’m just not sure your claim of “Leave me alone; I’ll ignore you” is completely valid. > > This sounds alot more like, “Hey I live next door to the circus and moved. It was great for coffee talk at the time; but, now, it’s afecting my pocket book.” > > That being said, I would agree with the inside For Sale sign, the cameras, fence, AC idea and, potentially, taking a hit on the price in order to move on. My first post was practically as long as War and Peace and I didn’t include every single detail on everything. The situation with the dead fish in his duct work was told to me by him. This happened not long after he first moved into the house and it was one of the major factors that clued me in that he wasn’t someone I should become too close to. Also, I work at the largest employer in the area (hint hint) and i meet many new people on my job each week. One day I was assigned to a particular department and worked next to a young guy whose looks and mannerisms were very similar to my neighbor. He asked me where I live and i told him. he mentioned he has a cousin who lives in the same area. I asked him, “Is his name so and so?” Turns out they are cousins. Both cousins love to talk and it didn’t take any prodding on my part to hear a lot of details about the family dynamic and how difficult it is for the extended family to have to deal with his cousin and how he feels sorry for me that i live next door to him. He confirmed what I knew about his mother getting verbally abused by him yet feels obligated. I have a little son who likes to ride his trike outside and i live next to a man who craves attention and drama and goes outside looking for someone to talk to. he stops total strangers on the street so he can complain about things. Should I have to grab my son and run in the house with our ears plugged? Why do i feel like i have to prove to some of you that what I say is true? Once I realized the guy was bad news I steered clear of him. When he continued to make an effort to engage me I told him to stay away. When he tried to befriend my son behind my back, I told him to stop. I had no other problems with him other than him being loud and keeping me up at night, but nothing illegal. What would be the point of getting a surveillance camera all these years? What would I be trying to film? He’s only done damage to my home since I’ve moved out 3 months ago, never when I loved there. There was no reason to erect a fence when I lived there and I already explained that a fence would’ve have only blocked 1/3 rd of my property. > [@Q.N.Jones](#): > > I think you will find it far cheaper and more effective to install a webcam and go through the criminal justice system. Trying to prove that the landlord is responsible for the actions of the crazy tenant will be very expensive, very time-consuming, and has a very low success rate. A civil attorney might be very willing to take on your case, and bill you for hours worked, to no avail. > > Our clients spent 3 years, and did not recover a dime, even though they won their case. Okay, probably not worth it then. Thanks. > [@LurkerInNJ](#): > > Because taking these actions would have changed her circumstances greatly and solved a lot of her problems. You seem to have my problems all figured out. What would these actions have changed when I was living in the house? > [@slash2k](#): > > They’re not going to solve the problem she’s got now. > > If nobody’s living in the house, she’s likely to find that the air conditioner meets the same fate as the for-sale signs (busting up ACs on unoccupied houses for the scrap metal is quite common in my neck of the woods), and she’s already explained that a fence that would be legal in her jurisdiction wouldn’t block his access or any potential buyer’s view of him. > > Video surveillance is probably the best bet now, but that’s really only to gather evidence to get him locked him while she tries to find a buyer. Thanks. I’m glad to see someone is reading my responses instead of just pointing out what they feel I’ve done wrong. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2015, 2:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-crazy-neighbor-is-ruining-my-life/711108/69 "2015-01-30T02:45:54Z")
If you’re on decent terms with his cousin see if you can bribe said cousin to take him on an outing on a day you have the house shown. Or try to sell it to the FBI. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2015, 3:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-crazy-neighbor-is-ruining-my-life/711108/70 "2015-01-30T15:07:40Z")
> [@MissSwitac](#): > > Thanks. I’m glad to see someone is reading my responses instead of just pointing out what they feel I’ve done wrong. I found myself in an increasing bad situation with a neighbor once before. When I became convinced it wasn’t simply a series of coincidences or a simple personality conflict that was behind his transgressions but actual maliciousness I started watching and documenting much of what he did and I mentally reviewed those actions in case I ever needed to present the evidence to the police or in a trial. I don’t think it odd at all that you’re very aware in detail of all he’s done. You’re not a willing victim either, having moved and attempting to sever all ties to this unpleasant episode in your life. ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2015, 4:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-crazy-neighbor-is-ruining-my-life/711108/71 "2015-01-30T16:17:52Z")
> [@Q.N.Jones](#): > > This is probably a waste of time. His disability was probably awarded for his obvious mental health problems. Given that the guy “want[s] to suck everything [he] can out of the US”, I wouldn’t put it past him to find some schmuck of a doctor to play up any real disability to the SSA. That’s also fraud. ---
**Author:** ![eclectic\_wench](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ac91a4/32.png) [@eclectic\_wench](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eclectic_wench)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2015, 4:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-crazy-neighbor-is-ruining-my-life/711108/72 "2015-01-30T16:21:30Z")
You said he’s the type who folds when he’s actually confronted, so would it do any good to confront him? Go over there and say, ‘I don’t want any more damage done to my property. I’m installing surveillance cameras, if they catch anything I will take it to the police, so stay off my property’. Any chance that would work? ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2015, 4:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-crazy-neighbor-is-ruining-my-life/711108/73 "2015-01-30T16:25:19Z")
nvm ---
**Author:** ![Q.N.Jones](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/3da27b/32.png) [@Q.N.Jones](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Q.N.Jones)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2015, 5:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-crazy-neighbor-is-ruining-my-life/711108/74 "2015-01-30T17:13:57Z")
> [@Skywatcher](#): > > Given that the guy “want[s] to suck everything [he] can out of the US”, I wouldn’t put it past him to find some schmuck of a doctor to play up any real disability to the SSA. That’s also fraud. This kind of disability “fraud” is incredibly common right now in the U.S. (I put “fraud” in quotes because part of the problem is that the very definition of disability that the SSA uses and doctors apply is full of room for interpretation.) There are lots of doctors out there verifying total disability on mental health grounds right now. All you have to be is mentally ill, and unable to find employment, in the minds of many doctors. The likelihood of a complaint on this guy being followed up by the SSA is remote because they have been experiencing a flood of cases like this since 2008, and the government has been debating how to rework their process for these very reasons. You can go ahead and report him, but don’t expect any results. Since this guy sounds like he’s 1) mentally ill, and 2) unemployable because of his behavior, he’s not likely to lose his disability. That’s the very definition of disability on mental health grounds. The other thing is–lots of people, especially those from traditional cultures, are likely to be embarrassed by being mentally ill and unemployable. I do volunteer work with a mental health charity, and a large percentage of our clients on disability claim they are not really disabled. It is common in some mental illnesses to be paranoid, particularly against the government, so claiming it is a “scam on the evil government” instead of admitting they legitimately qualify for disability is pretty common among the mentally ill. ---
**Author:** ![dada2fish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ccd318/32.png) [@dada2fish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dada2fish)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2015, 5:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-crazy-neighbor-is-ruining-my-life/711108/75 "2015-01-30T17:59:54Z")
> [@lieu](#): > > I found myself in an increasing bad situation with a neighbor once before. When I became convinced it wasn’t simply a series of coincidences or a simple personality conflict that was behind his transgressions but actual maliciousness I started watching and documenting much of what he did and I mentally reviewed those actions in case I ever needed to present the evidence to the police or in a trial. > > I don’t think it odd at all that you’re very aware in detail of all he’s done. You’re not a willing victim either, having moved and attempting to sever all ties to this unpleasant episode in your life. My first home I ever owned was in the city limits of Detroit. There was a time when Detroit city police officers and firemen had to have residence in Detroit. Many of them lived in my little slice of the city and the neighborhood was great. They eventually changed that law and my little area went downhill quick when the cops moved away. it was advised to me many times while living in Detroit, that it was in my best interest to keep my eyes open and be aware of what was going on around my home since I was a woman in her 20’s living alone. I’m not concerned with anyones personal business, but when it sounds like someone is getting murdered next door because of the high pitched screaming and the cops are soon at their door, then yes, I thinks it’s common sense to find out what’s going on so you know who your dealing with. Unlike other’s, I refuse to wall myself into my own house. Since I’ve moved, I’ve taken pictures of all the damage and filed reports each time. > [@eclectic\_wench](#): > > You said he’s the type who folds when he’s actually confronted, so would it do any good to confront him? Go over there and say, ‘I don’t want any more damage done to my property. I’m installing surveillance cameras, if they catch anything I will take it to the police, so stay off my property’. Any chance that would work? My real estate agent and I talked about it yesterday and the next time I have a potential buyer come to the house, my agent’s big, burly Lebanese co-worker will hang around outside the whole time clients are in the house. Then if crazy guy tries any funny business, Lebanese guy will tell him off and warn him in his mother language. If I confronted him and asked him to stop in a calm manner, I’m guessing he’d just laugh and go back in his house mid way through my request. As far as I can see, he has no respect for women, so I think this big macho real estate agent might help deter him. ---
**Author:** ![GreenElf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/9de053/32.png) [@GreenElf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GreenElf)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2015, 8:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-crazy-neighbor-is-ruining-my-life/711108/76 "2015-01-31T08:14:57Z")
Install a red, white and blue fence. ---
**Author:** ![stolatt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b5e925/32.png) [@stolatt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stolatt)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2015, 1:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-crazy-neighbor-is-ruining-my-life/711108/77 "2015-01-31T13:52:56Z")
I’m glad you found a reasonable solution. Tool bad, because I was going to offer the services of my son and his friends of the local punk scene. Your loss. ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2015, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-crazy-neighbor-is-ruining-my-life/711108/78 "2015-01-31T20:11:00Z")
> [@Q.N.Jones](#): > > This kind of disability “fraud” is incredibly common right now in the U.S. (I put “fraud” in quotes because part of the problem is that the very definition of disability that the SSA uses and doctors apply is full of room for interpretation.) There are lots of doctors out there verifying total disability on mental health grounds right now. All you have to be is mentally ill, and unable to find employment, in the minds of many doctors. The likelihood of a complaint on this guy being followed up by the SSA is remote because they have been experiencing a flood of cases like this since 2008, and the government has been debating how to rework their process for these very reasons. You can go ahead and report him, but don’t expect any results. Any investigation would be performed on a local level. [The SSA recently established a partnership with the Michigan Department of Human Services to investigate fraud.](http://oig.ssa.gov/newsroom/news-releases/detroit-cdi-unit) ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2015, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-crazy-neighbor-is-ruining-my-life/711108/79 "2015-01-31T20:12:52Z")
> [@MissSwitac](#): > > My real estate agent and I talked about it yesterday and the next time I have a potential buyer come to the house, my agent’s big, burly Lebanese co-worker will hang around outside the whole time clients are in the house. Then if crazy guy tries any funny business, Lebanese guy will tell him off and warn him in his mother language. > > If I confronted him and asked him to stop in a calm manner, I’m guessing he’d just laugh and go back in his house mid way through my request. As far as I can see, he has no respect for women, so I think this big macho real estate agent might help deter him. Get a camera anyway. So you can watch the nut’s reaction! ---
**Author:** ![Q.N.Jones](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/3da27b/32.png) [@Q.N.Jones](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Q.N.Jones)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2015, 10:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-crazy-neighbor-is-ruining-my-life/711108/80 "2015-01-31T22:22:24Z")
> [@Skywatcher](#): > > Any investigation would be performed on a local level. [The SSA recently established a partnership with the Michigan Department of Human Services to investigate fraud.](http://oig.ssa.gov/newsroom/news-releases/detroit-cdi-unit) Yes, I’m aware of this. It doesn’t change what I wrote. It still takes a long time for frauds to be fully investigated and adjudicated, and her neighbor is very likely not a fraud case, no matter what he says. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-crazy-neighbor-is-ruining-my-life/711108.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-crazy-neighbor-is-ruining-my-life/711108.md?page=5)