# My Crush is a Zombie: What To Do...? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [July 7, 2007, 6:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-crush-is-a-zombie-what-to-do/410878 "2007-07-07T18:00:35Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 18\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2007, 6:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-crush-is-a-zombie-what-to-do/410878/1 "2007-07-07T18:00:35Z")
Oh, Hell, people. I’m 43 and Old. Just shoot me now. I remember having the biggest crush on Helen Hunt what seems like yesterday. She was the [blonde tomboy](http://www.nndb.com/people/554/000023485/helenhunt-sm.jpg) in a [really bad dance movie](http://www.hollywoodteenmovies.com/ActressMenuPicHelenHunt.jpg) where she makes Sarah Jessica Parker look like bad chopped liver in. every. scene. She had a 10-second hooker part in ‘Fright Night’ that was, to me, literally worth rewinding the tape just to see. I even liked her first two years [as](http://www.friends-jp.com/GuestStar/HelenHunt.jpg) [Jamie Buchman](http://alumnus.caltech.edu/~witelski/helen.jpg). Well, life goes on and years go by. She stows an Oscar under her belt. But I always pictured her as I first saw her in the 80s and 90s. And then Comcast and USA blast out [this horrendous picture of her](http://i.usatoday.net/life/_photos/2007/07/05/huntx.jpg). Good Og, wtf happened? Did I fall asleep in a bowling alley in Tarrytown, NY? In that shot, she looks like she just popped up from the swiming pool in Poltergeist to scare the hell out of Jo Beth Williams!!! Did she p.o. the photographer? Is she trying to look less sexy so people will only think ‘Director’ every time they see her? (Is it like the Bridesmaids Rule: make 'em look ugly so they don’t upstage the Bride/Lead Actress?) Or did a cannister of George Romero reanimating gas leak in her basement? Damn you, Time, Leave my memories be! Or just take me altogether… ---
**Author:** ![Odesio](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/odesio/32/20003_2.png) [@Odesio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Odesio)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2007, 6:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-crush-is-a-zombie-what-to-do/410878/2 "2007-07-07T18:08:47Z")
Uh, I got no idea what you’re talking about. She looks fine to me. Marc ---
**Author:** ![garygnu](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/garygnu/32/2924_2.png) [@garygnu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/garygnu)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2007, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-crush-is-a-zombie-what-to-do/410878/3 "2007-07-07T18:17:37Z")
Oh Noes! Wrinkles!!!11!!! Run away! ---
**Author:** ![Lamar\_Mundane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/85f322/32.png) [@Lamar\_Mundane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamar_Mundane)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2007, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-crush-is-a-zombie-what-to-do/410878/4 "2007-07-07T18:21:15Z")
She looks better now. ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2007, 6:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-crush-is-a-zombie-what-to-do/410878/5 "2007-07-07T18:22:02Z")
It’s the thin. The players started passing her by at a certain age, and she fell at the mercy of the designer publicity mill and remade herself to their specifications = no t, no a, no curves, no cheeks. You are just a walking clothes hanger, a blank canvas for the commerce of fickle men who pay lip service to female beauty but have no use for the real thing. ---
**Author:** ![Baldwin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/baldwin/32/7264_2.png) [@Baldwin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baldwin)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2007, 6:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-crush-is-a-zombie-what-to-do/410878/6 "2007-07-07T18:35:36Z")
She looks fine; what in the world are you going on about? I think that shot caught her at an awkward moment, between two expressions. Like you, she’s 43, and is a damn good-looking woman. ---
**Author:** ![Lamar\_Mundane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/85f322/32.png) [@Lamar\_Mundane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamar_Mundane)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2007, 7:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-crush-is-a-zombie-what-to-do/410878/7 "2007-07-07T19:40:52Z")
You should thank your lucky stars that the object of your affection isn’t [Sharon Stone](http://www.tmz.com/2007/06/29/firestone/). ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2007, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-crush-is-a-zombie-what-to-do/410878/8 "2007-07-07T20:13:10Z")
[QUOTE=garygnu] Oh Noes! Wrinkles!!!11!!! Run away! [/QUOTE] Fine. I’m over reacting. Its just normal aging and a bad picture; not some kind of lift gone wrong and definately not Jennifer Grey, part2. Thankfully, she’s never had to lay eyes on a picture of me and she never will. Well, I’ve found my walker; if a kindly Mod could just close the thread behind me, I have to head out for more Geritol anyway. Now that Medicare is paying for my Diabetes testing, its just the Right thing to do… ---
**Author:** ![flurb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/51bf81/32.png) [@flurb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flurb)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2007, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-crush-is-a-zombie-what-to-do/410878/9 "2007-07-07T20:38:13Z")
[QUOTE=Lamar Mundane] You should thank your lucky stars that the object of your affection isn’t [Sharon Stone](http://www.tmz.com/2007/06/29/firestone/). [/QUOTE] Oh. My. God. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Hildo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/bbce88/32.png) [@Johnny\_Hildo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Hildo)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2007, 9:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-crush-is-a-zombie-what-to-do/410878/10 "2007-07-07T21:24:45Z")
[QUOTE=Lamar Mundane] You should thank your lucky stars that the object of your affection isn’t [Sharon Stone](http://www.tmz.com/2007/06/29/firestone/). [/QUOTE] I will see your Sharon Stone and raise with these pictures of [Cate Blanchett.](http://www.idontlikeyouinthatway.com/labels/cate%20blanchett.html) Sweet. Fucking. Jesus. I will never have an erection again. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2007, 9:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-crush-is-a-zombie-what-to-do/410878/11 "2007-07-07T21:27:11Z")
[QUOTE=Johnny Hildo] I will see your Sharon Stone and raise with these pictures of [Cate Blanchett.](http://www.idontlikeyouinthatway.com/labels/cate%20blanchett.html) Sweet. Fucking. Jesus. I will never have an erection again. [/QUOTE] Oh god. Those things near her armpits, they are actually bigger than her boobs. You know, the things that normally expand \*with \*your boobs? Helen Hunt looks fine in the OP’s picture - they caught her at a bad angle, but other than that she looks great. ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2007, 1:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-crush-is-a-zombie-what-to-do/410878/12 "2007-07-08T01:11:39Z")
OK, so Helen Hunt is starting to show some signs of aging. She’s human; it happens to all of us. But that picture of Blanchett? Man, she looked more normal when Frodo offered her the Ring. ---
**Author:** ![Terrifel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c68b51/32.png) [@Terrifel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Terrifel)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2007, 1:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-crush-is-a-zombie-what-to-do/410878/13 "2007-07-08T01:58:43Z")
She’s squinting? Crow’s feet? 20 years older, maybe? Still lookin’ fine to me. Here’s a publicity shot from last year’s film **Bobby** – [why hello, my little frosted-lipstick kitten!](http://z.about.com/d/movies/1/0/0/D/N/bobbypubc.jpg) – which I think amply demonstrates that she’s still perfectly attractive even while seated next to Martin Sheen and his alarming incisors. (Seriously, Martin? Don’t smile like that, it makes you look like a prairie dog.) And the reanimating gas is Dan O’Bannon’s. Romero don’t need no stinkin’ gas. ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2007, 2:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-crush-is-a-zombie-what-to-do/410878/14 "2007-07-08T02:05:01Z")
[Awful Plastic Surgery](http://www.awfulplasticsurgery.com/) ---
**Author:** ![MissGypsy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8491ac/32.png) [@MissGypsy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MissGypsy)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2007, 2:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-crush-is-a-zombie-what-to-do/410878/15 "2007-07-08T02:26:51Z")
[QUOTE=Chronos] OK, so Helen Hunt is starting to show some signs of aging. She’s human; it happens to all of us. [/QUOTE] Yeah, but I think she’s aging rather gracefully, and looks pretty good for her age. At least she hasn’t OD’d on cosmetic surgery, it seems. ---
**Author:** ![bbs2k](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e495f1/32.png) [@bbs2k](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bbs2k)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2007, 6:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-crush-is-a-zombie-what-to-do/410878/16 "2007-07-08T06:45:25Z")
I clicked on this thread to talk about zombies. Instead all I see are ugly women. Most disappointing thread evah! (I think Helen Hunt looks fine) ---
**Author:** ![devilsknew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/4da419/32.png) [@devilsknew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/devilsknew)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2007, 6:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-crush-is-a-zombie-what-to-do/410878/17 "2007-07-08T06:55:45Z")
I think that is a bad angle, trick of optics… I always remember her in [As good as it gets](http://imdb.com/title/tt0119822/). She is beautiful. Hercurves sitting on tub.The venusian kidney dimples… mmmm. ---
**Author:** ![devilsknew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/4da419/32.png) [@devilsknew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/devilsknew)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2007, 7:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-crush-is-a-zombie-what-to-do/410878/18 "2007-07-08T07:32:22Z")
Did she have plastic surgery? Say it ain’t so?