# My dad died last night **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 21, 2002, 12:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-dad-died-last-night/133218 "2002-10-21T12:53:03Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2002, 12:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-dad-died-last-night/133218/1 "2002-10-21T12:53:03Z")
My husband is on his way to BWI - he’s flying home this morning, and we’ll drive back up tomorrow or Wednesday. Mom and Dad were in Texas, on their way to San Diego where they were going to board a cruise ship to Hawaii. Mom hates to fly, so they were going in their RV and they stopped for the weekend to visit some old friends. That’s where Dad had the heart attack. My brother and one brother-in-law are flying to Texas to get the RV and Mom. I’m guessing they’ll drive back pretty much straight thru. I can’t see the funeral being before Saturday… I’m a mess right now - trying to sort things out. What to do with the dogs. Getting our neighbor to get the mail and watch out for a UPS delivery that I’m expecting. Getting the kid out of school and out of work for a week. And what the heck am I going to wear?? I live a jeans-and-tshirt lifestyle. I have one dress that fits - it’s covered with red flowers - I bought it for their 50th anniversary party last August. I’ve got clothes in the washer right now. I just vacuumed the living room. I’ve stopped crying for the moment, but it won’t last. I’ll be heading for the airport in about 3 hours to pick up Steve. Then I don’t know. I’m angry at my father. He was only 72. He shouldn’t have died. He’d had health problems for a long time, largely because he wouldn’t eat right or exercise. Funny, I’m as bad as he is. He should have set a better example for me, dammit. He should have lived longer so he could enjoy his retirement. He should have listened to his doctors so he and Mom could have made the cruise. I wonder about my mom now. She’s always been strong. She has a lot of friends, she has her health, she’s involved in church and she still does some catering once in a while. I don’t think she’ll wither away like some do when they lose a spouse. She’s got everyone but me living close, and her 2 youngest grandkids are a few miles away. But what about all the things she and Dad planned? I’m sure she’ll sell the RV now - she’ll never take long trips again. Will she sell the house? It’s huge and it sits on almost 7 acres - it’s been more than they could handle of late - maybe she’ll look into a smaller place now. Anyway, this is some of what’s running thru my head right now. I’m full of nervous energy and I don’t know what to do. The practical side is battling the emotional side. And being home alone doesn’t help. I guess that’s why I’m posting here - gotta talk to the friends who are always hanging out. Guess I need to call my sister and find out what’s going on… ---
**Author:** ![screech-owl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/82dd89/32.png) [@screech-owl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/screech-owl)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2002, 12:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-dad-died-last-night/133218/2 "2002-10-21T12:54:31Z")
☹ My thoughts to you and all the family. ---
**Author:** ![Nightingale](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ecae2f/32.png) [@Nightingale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nightingale)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2002, 12:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-dad-died-last-night/133218/3 "2002-10-21T12:59:50Z")
FCM, I’m so sorry for your loss. Please take good care of yourself and know that I’ll be thinking of you. ---
**Author:** ![dantheman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dantheman/32/9421_2.png) [@dantheman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dantheman)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2002, 1:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-dad-died-last-night/133218/4 "2002-10-21T13:01:10Z")
Oh FCM! Oh sweetie, you wonderful dear person… I’m so sorry for your loss. Please let me know if there’s anything I can do. You can IM me, or email me for my # if you need something up here in the Balto area. ---
**Author:** ![Xerxes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/d2c977/32.png) [@Xerxes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Xerxes)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2002, 1:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-dad-died-last-night/133218/5 "2002-10-21T13:01:51Z")
I’m so very, very sorry. Losing a parent is indescribable. My thoughts are with you and your family. ---
**Author:** ![ShibbOleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@ShibbOleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShibbOleth)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2002, 1:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-dad-died-last-night/133218/6 "2002-10-21T13:03:55Z")
I’m so sorry for you and your family. It’s never the right time. May I suggest that you try and focus on all the joy and love your father brought you and others throughout the years? ---
**Author:** ![belladonna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/9fc29f/32.png) [@belladonna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/belladonna)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2002, 1:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-dad-died-last-night/133218/7 "2002-10-21T13:06:23Z")
**FCM** , I’m so sorry to hear that. Sending warm thoughts your way–to you and your mother both. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Duck\_Duck\_Goose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/50afbb/32.png) [@Duck\_Duck\_Goose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duck_Duck_Goose)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2002, 1:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-dad-died-last-night/133218/8 "2002-10-21T13:15:27Z")
You have my permission to wear jeans to the funeral, and the neighbors be damned. {{{ FCM }}} ---
**Author:** ![Anahita](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a9a28c/32.png) [@Anahita](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anahita)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2002, 1:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-dad-died-last-night/133218/9 "2002-10-21T13:19:37Z")
I’m so sorry. My condolences to you and your family. ---
**Author:** ![Gazelle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Gazelle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gazelle)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2002, 1:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-dad-died-last-night/133218/10 "2002-10-21T13:23:41Z")
Oh **FairyChatMom** , I’m so sorry. I’ve had a couple of co-workers lose parents recently; I cannot imagine the helplessness and pain you must be feeling. Big hugs for you and your family, my friend. ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2002, 1:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-dad-died-last-night/133218/11 "2002-10-21T13:24:46Z")
Thanks, all. I just got off the phone with my sister. Dad was an organ donor, so right off the bat, some good has come of this. Apparently he died last night, and none of my sibs had my phone number here - we pretty much just e-mail one another. Luckily, one sister had my husband’s cell number. Ever efficient, my mother has already talked to the funeral home in Belair and got them connected with the people in Houston. The sticking point seems to be the Texas law that requires an autopsy, but we’re all hoping that my dad’s medical history (Mom had his records on hand for the trip) will speed that process. I’ve tried to call Mom, but I got voice mail - I’m sure she’s on the line with someone else. According to my sister, the funeral will probably be on Monday. I’m thinking we won’t be driving up there till Wednesday. I’m going to go dust something. Or stare in my closet in the hopes of making appropriate clothing appear. Or maybe I’ll cry some more. I just don’t know. ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2002, 1:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-dad-died-last-night/133218/12 "2002-10-21T13:26:48Z")
**FCM** –give your kid lots of hugs. It will help the child, and help _you_. Here’s one from me. {{{{ **FairyChatMom** }}}} ---
**Author:** ![DeadlyAccurate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ac91a4/32.png) [@DeadlyAccurate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DeadlyAccurate)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2002, 1:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-dad-died-last-night/133218/13 "2002-10-21T13:28:52Z")
Oh, **FCM** , I’m so very sorry for your loss. Please take good care of yourself during this time of grief. ---
**Author:** ![Lord\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ecccb3/32.png) [@Lord\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lord_Jim)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2002, 1:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-dad-died-last-night/133218/14 "2002-10-21T13:33:15Z")
I’m so very sorry for you and your family. Loss of a parent is devestating. Hang in there as best you can, my thoughts are with you and yours. Jim ---
**Author:** ![Francesca](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/9fc348/32.png) [@Francesca](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Francesca)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2002, 1:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-dad-died-last-night/133218/15 "2002-10-21T13:47:28Z")
I’m so sorry to hear of your loss. My thoughts are with you. ---
**Author:** ![miamouse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ad7895/32.png) [@miamouse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/miamouse)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2002, 1:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-dad-died-last-night/133218/16 "2002-10-21T13:49:43Z")
Lots of hugs to the coolest Mom I ‘know’ ---
**Author:** ![Kiki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/dc4da7/32.png) [@Kiki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kiki)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2002, 1:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-dad-died-last-night/133218/17 "2002-10-21T13:55:53Z")
I’m so sorry for your loss. My thoughts are with you and your family **FCM**. ---
**Author:** ![croaker67](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/439d5e/32.png) [@croaker67](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/croaker67)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2002, 2:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-dad-died-last-night/133218/18 "2002-10-21T14:07:44Z")
FCM, I’m sorry for your loss. I’ve found that recalling good stories helps. All the best to you and your family… ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2002, 2:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-dad-died-last-night/133218/19 "2002-10-21T14:34:31Z")
Very very sorry, FCM. I’m in Houston so email me if I can be of any help whatsoever. I’m serious about that. ATB. ---
**Author:** ![BooBoo316](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e0b2c6/32.png) [@BooBoo316](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BooBoo316)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2002, 3:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-dad-died-last-night/133218/20 "2002-10-21T15:11:53Z")
**FairyChatMom** , I am so very sorry for your loss. You have my deepest sympathy and condolences for you and your family in this trying time. Please take heart in the fact that you have a large community here that care about you and will be here for you. I wish I had better words to express my sympathy, but I’m not very good at this. Take care, and remember that we are here for you. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-dad-died-last-night/133218.md?page=2)