# My dad died today. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 13, 2014, 11:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-dad-died-today/686056 "2014-04-13T23:38:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2014, 10:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-dad-died-today/686056/61 "2014-04-16T10:02:27Z")
Sorry for your loss, **yanceylebeef.** **Little\_Pig** , in this board putting someone’s name in {} or () means “hugs”. ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2014, 10:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-dad-died-today/686056/62 "2014-04-16T10:29:31Z")
I’m so sorry for your loss. Your dad, mom, sister, you and the entire family are in my thoughts and prayers. ---
**Author:** ![yanceylebeef](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yanceylebeef/32/12290_2.png) [@yanceylebeef](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yanceylebeef)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2014, 1:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-dad-died-today/686056/63 "2014-04-17T01:03:54Z")
Here is the eulogy I have to give Friday. I hope I can get through it. My dad was born in Forks, and raised in Sedro Woolley. He joined the Air Force after spending a fruitless semester at college. He didn’t want to learn how to diagram a sentence, he wanted to see a bit of the world. His first assignment was in Okinawa, he then went to Chicksands in England where he met my mom. They were married in 1964. This year would have been their fiftieth wedding anniversary. Dad was deployed to Vietnam when I was less than a year old. When he returned, we moved to Brindisi Italy where my kid sister Heidi was born. Dad worked for the security service in the Air Force, which meant we never really knew what he did. When we asked, he would just say that he listened to radio signals He was an intelligence analyst. A true cold warrior. My mom and dad schlepped me and Heidi from Italy to Misawa Japan to Texas, California back to Japan and finally here to Sedro Woolley in 1980. During that time, my dad worked a schedule that was three day shifts, three swing shifts and three night shifts with three days off at the end of the cycle. I mention that because despite this, he managed to coach most of my t ball and little league teams, and come to every soccer match, track meet and basketball game that I played in. It didn’t matter that he had an hour of sleep, or he had to brief someone at the NSA about the intel he and his team had received. He was always there. One afternoon when we were in Misawa Japan, he called the house. When I answered, he said “you should probably ride your bike by the flight line today around four”. I hopped on my bike and headed out. While I was pedaling along, I got to watch an SR-71 Blackbird make an emergency landing. When we first moved to Washington I hated everything about it. I hated living so far from town, I hated that we had to work so hard to make ends meet, and I hated the fact that my dad had to lower himself to selling fire wood to put food on the table. It wasn’t until I moved out on my own that I realized how hard he had worked to keep our family safe and fed. He simply did what needed to be done. No complaints, just do the work. My dad taught me more than any college class I have ever attended. He and my mom showed us the world, and gave us an appreciation for what we have around us. He taught me that you can’t take the measure of a man by what’s on the outside, it’s what’s on the inside that matters. That you can tell a lot about a person by how he treats the people who can’t do anything for him. I’ve said this before, but he once told me when I was in full blown know it all mode, that he wasn’t my friend, my buddy or my teacher. He was my father, and his job was to raise me right. I tried to let him know that as I grew older, that he was all three. He told rambling stories that seemed to go on for days involving people I had never met or heard of. You could actually hear my eyes roll when he started pontificating. I’d give anything to hear one of those stories now. He was the most honest, trustworthy person I will ever meet. He never promised much, but what he did promise happened. I love you, Dad, and I miss you. Terribly. ---
**Author:** ![nonacetone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nonacetone/32/2819_2.png) [@nonacetone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nonacetone)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2014, 1:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-dad-died-today/686056/64 "2014-04-17T01:20:46Z")
That is a beautiful, touching eulogy. May you, and your family, find peace. ---
**Author:** ![kayT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayt/32/3633_2.png) [@kayT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayT)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2014, 1:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-dad-died-today/686056/65 "2014-04-17T01:30:04Z")
Lovely eulogy, and I’m sure you will get through it just fine. It seems like you had a great dad and I’m pretty sure he knew you thought so. Good luck on Friday. ---
**Author:** ![pravnik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8edcca/32.png) [@pravnik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pravnik)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2014, 1:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-dad-died-today/686056/66 "2014-04-17T01:45:30Z")
I’m so sorry for your loss. Be gentle with yourself for now. ---
**Author:** ![zoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zoid/32/336_2.png) [@zoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zoid)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2014, 2:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-dad-died-today/686056/67 "2014-04-17T02:07:09Z")
Fantastic eulogy, your father would be proud. ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2014, 2:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-dad-died-today/686056/68 "2014-04-17T02:45:35Z")
That’s a beautiful eulogy. If you don’t get through it? That’s okay. No one who matters would ever fault you for that. This is your grief about your dad. You don’t have to be strong or keep it together. If you are someone like me who hates hates hates to break down in public, you can stop whenever you feel overcome and just say, “I think I have to stop now. I love you, Dad.” ---
**Author:** ![Strangeland64](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/48db29/32.png) [@Strangeland64](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Strangeland64)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2014, 4:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-dad-died-today/686056/69 "2014-04-17T04:14:15Z")
I am so sorry this happened to you. I can’t imagine how awful it must have been to witness it. You are wise with you advice… Having lost someone very close to me, I relate to what you said. Never miss a chance to express to loved ones what they mean to you. Life can change in an instant. You won’t ever regret it if you do, but you could have regrets if you don’t tell them how much they mean to you. It helps to tell people what the person you lost meant to you… maybe sometime you will feel up to it and share a little about him … My thoughts are with you and your family. One day at a time… ---
**Author:** ![Rysdad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/7cd45c/32.png) [@Rysdad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rysdad)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2014, 4:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-dad-died-today/686056/70 "2014-04-17T04:18:40Z")
I’m so sorry for your loss. ---
**Author:** ![Rhiannon8404](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rhiannon8404/32/17929_2.png) [@Rhiannon8404](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rhiannon8404)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2014, 4:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-dad-died-today/686056/71 "2014-04-17T04:23:13Z")
I’m so very sorry. You and your family are in my thoughts. ---
**Author:** ![R3d\_Anonymous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/aeb1de/32.png) [@R3d\_Anonymous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/R3d_Anonymous)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2014, 12:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-dad-died-today/686056/72 "2014-04-19T00:27:09Z")
\*Another \*loss in what? Within a [year](http://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=2&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=0CDUQFjAB&url=http%3A%2F%2Fboards.straightdope.com%2Fsdmb%2Fshowthread.php%3Ft%3D692889&ei=38FRU8-IKOfq2QXd3YDICw&usg=AFQjCNHV2nS3NXL2ZUbQizqGPpGJe3Ze2w&sig2=PJm3snXToxuWx6JjtfmsDQ&bvm=bv.65058239,d.b2I) (and wow, I feel bad for what a brainless post I made)? That sucks. Sorry dude for all your losses. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2014, 12:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-dad-died-today/686056/73 "2014-04-19T00:47:54Z")
> [@jsgoddess](#): > > That’s a beautiful eulogy. > > If you don’t get through it? That’s okay. No one who matters would ever fault you for that. This is your grief about your dad. You don’t have to be strong or keep it together. > > If you are someone like me who hates hates hates to break down in public, you can stop whenever you feel overcome and just say, “I think I have to stop now. I love you, Dad.” This. You’re probably done by now, but even if it didn’t go off without a hitch, don’t beat yourself up over it; I can’t imagine there was anybody in the place who was judging you harshly - they were all most likely sending all the sympathetic and supportive vibes your way that they could muster. ---
**Author:** ![Taters](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/taters/32/2845_2.png) [@Taters](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Taters)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2014, 12:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-dad-died-today/686056/74 "2014-04-19T00:59:53Z")
I’m so very sorry for your loss. Peace and strength to you and your family. ---
**Author:** ![picunurse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7bcc69/32.png) [@picunurse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/picunurse)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2014, 1:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-dad-died-today/686056/75 "2014-04-19T01:17:59Z")
I haven’t been around for a few days, so I’m just seeing this. What a tragedy. I didn’t realize you were from here. So much saddness and loss here these days, somehow it makes your loss even more poignant. Your eulogy sounds wonderful. I had to do the same for my son several years ago. I didn’t get through it, but no one minded. Cry. It helps. ---
**Author:** ![DrFidelius](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drfidelius/32/3447_2.png) [@DrFidelius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrFidelius)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2014, 1:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-dad-died-today/686056/76 "2014-04-19T01:28:45Z")
I sincerely apologize for missing your earlier posts. I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my father 25 years ago, right before we had our first miscarriage. I regret every day that he was not around to meet his granddaughters and to teach me what I needed to know to be a good father. Grieve. It is the right response. ---
**Author:** ![delsina363](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a6a055/32.png) [@delsina363](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/delsina363)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2014, 1:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-dad-died-today/686056/77 "2014-04-19T01:29:41Z")
My thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family. I lost my Mom last November, and it is really, really, hard. I love your eulogy, I hope it went well. I was in a total fog when my Mom died, that I did not have a eulogy, or any readings ready. My heart was broken then, and still is. Always cherish your memories, they will get you through the tough times. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![TPWombat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bbce88/32.png) [@TPWombat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TPWombat)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2014, 6:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-dad-died-today/686056/78 "2014-04-20T06:32:22Z")
Beautiful eulogy. Sorry, and Hugs. ---
**Author:** ![MacCat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/maccat/32/216_2.png) [@MacCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MacCat)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2014, 7:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-dad-died-today/686056/79 "2014-04-20T19:17:31Z")
So sorry for the terrible accident. I hope cherishing the memories and helping each other through this brings some comfort. And though it won’t eliminate it, time _will_ gradually ease the pain until the memories bring more smiles than tears. My sincere condolences… ---
**Author:** ![Cartooniverse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cartooniverse/32/3084_2.png) [@Cartooniverse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cartooniverse)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2014, 9:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-dad-died-today/686056/80 "2014-04-20T21:23:39Z")
Touching painful eulogy. I’m so sorry for this sudden loss. As others have said, it will be a slow process. Take all of the caring and attention the world is offering. Much peace to you and your family. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-dad-died-today/686056.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-dad-died-today/686056.md?page=5)