# My dad keeps refering to his fiancee by the wrong name **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 9, 2003, 6:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-dad-keeps-refering-to-his-fiancee-by-the-wrong-name/194065 "2003-08-09T18:55:48Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Mama\_Tiger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/6de8d8/32.png) [@Mama\_Tiger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mama_Tiger)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2003, 2:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-dad-keeps-refering-to-his-fiancee-by-the-wrong-name/194065/21 "2003-08-10T14:04:43Z")
A favorite family story is how my mother’s youngest sister Betty, fifth after Joe, Dorothy, Ruth, and Bob, came home from school sobbing. She said, “The teacher called me Dorothy and I didn’t mind. She called me Ruth and I didn’t mind. But today she called me JOE!” I get called my sister’s name and both my daughter’s and my niece’s name before my mom gets to my name. And this has been going on for many years. And I’ve called Papa Tiger by my first husband’s name, and he’s been dead for over ten years. He doesn’t mind, fortunately! ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2003, 3:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-dad-keeps-refering-to-his-fiancee-by-the-wrong-name/194065/22 "2003-08-10T15:14:10Z")
One of the signs that Dad’s sickness was advancing was that he stopped calling me “Theo, at least, Matthew” (Theo is my brother) and started calling me just “Rob” (his brother) instead. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![bustmeanoreo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/c67d28/32.png) [@bustmeanoreo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bustmeanoreo)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2003, 3:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-dad-keeps-refering-to-his-fiancee-by-the-wrong-name/194065/23 "2003-08-10T15:23:17Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by insomnia4AM \* > \*\*My grandmother calls me every grandchilds name before she gets to mine. > > “Hey, Angela, I mean Mary, I mean Kristen, I mean, Lori, I mean Kay, oh, forget it.” \*\* My aunt does that, and she’s only just 40… and she has no distinction between males and female. “Kelly, Becky, I mean, ooohh, Connor, Sian, Lauren.” :smack: she gets so frustrated it’s funny. ---
**Author:** ![Ms\_Boods](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5e9695/32.png) [@Ms\_Boods](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ms_Boods)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2003, 4:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-dad-keeps-refering-to-his-fiancee-by-the-wrong-name/194065/24 "2003-08-10T16:05:45Z")
Further reassurance (?) for you: I am 37, and my auntie has never, ever called me the correct name! I’m the youngest, and when my mum is particularly angry with me, she calls me by my second name, but if she’s angry AND flustered, my name becomes Deb-Sla-Ka-errrrrrrgggggggghhhh, etc. My oldest brother, from childhood onwards, always signs his full names on cards he sends her, just in case, I think! The reverse is true…I’ve accidently called teachers, ‘Mum’ before! Understandable when in Grade One, but in graduate school…er… ---
**Author:** ![mnemosyne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c4cdca/32.png) [@mnemosyne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mnemosyne)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2003, 5:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-dad-keeps-refering-to-his-fiancee-by-the-wrong-name/194065/25 "2003-08-10T17:31:33Z")
My SOs dad is a widower (wifes name was D.) and he remarried to A, divorced her, had a long-term relationship with M, broke up, and is now dating another woman, also named D (same name). Throw in the fact that he’d occasionally slip up and name people by his mother’s name, it could get pretty confusing! His usual slip-up, though, was to refer to D, especially if my SO is around,as D is his mother. So I guess with the new D it isn’t really a problem! Though I can imagine him saying something like “Hey D, I mean A, no…M…no, D!” a lot! ---
**Author:** ![funions](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/34f0e0/32.png) [@funions](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/funions)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2003, 5:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-dad-keeps-refering-to-his-fiancee-by-the-wrong-name/194065/26 "2003-08-10T17:34:46Z")
My brother has been known to call me by his wife’s name, and his wife by mine. Of course, he usually only does this when my family is visiting his house, but he gets so flustered he blushes. I think it’s a bit funny. ---
**Author:** ![Sylkyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/da6949/32.png) [@Sylkyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sylkyn)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2003, 5:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-dad-keeps-refering-to-his-fiancee-by-the-wrong-name/194065/27 "2003-08-10T17:42:34Z")
I have four kids, and always call roll when I speak a name. It’s irritating, to say the least…to myself, as well as them. I am also very, very bad to call my daughter by my sister’s name, and vice-versa. They look nothing alike, and thank God, don’t act alike. I have no idea why I do it. I told my daughter the other day just to answer me because I’m tired of rephrasing with the correct name. I don’t worry about calling my husband by my ex’s name…they both have the same name! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2003, 6:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-dad-keeps-refering-to-his-fiancee-by-the-wrong-name/194065/28 "2003-08-10T18:22:13Z")
My mom would frequently start out with calling me by the _pets_ names, then go through their _species_, my brothers names, and _then_ get my name. She’s gotten better about it as she’s gotten older, so I suppose that’s something. ---
**Author:** ![pepperlandgirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f17d59/32.png) [@pepperlandgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pepperlandgirl)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2003, 6:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-dad-keeps-refering-to-his-fiancee-by-the-wrong-name/194065/29 "2003-08-10T18:26:49Z")
My grandma would go through my sisters’ names _and_ the dogs’ names before finally getting to me. My cats’ names are Willow and Tara. But they now answer to “Tar-Willow” and “Will-Tara” ---
**Author:** ![Shayna](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/shayna/32/17976_2.png) [@Shayna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shayna)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2003, 6:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-dad-keeps-refering-to-his-fiancee-by-the-wrong-name/194065/30 "2003-08-10T18:38:01Z")
Count me as another whose mother and grandmother both used to run through all our names, including the dog’s, before getting to the right one! ---
**Author:** ![Vixenation](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/278dde/32.png) [@Vixenation](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Vixenation)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2003, 9:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-dad-keeps-refering-to-his-fiancee-by-the-wrong-name/194065/31 "2003-08-10T21:24:32Z")
Hell, I’m 19 and I always mess up people’s names. So do my mom, aunt, and grandmother. If my dad constantly referred to his fiance by his ex-wife’s name, I’d be more worried he was still stuck on her than about the possibility of Alzheimer’s. However, I’d be willing to bet it’s just habit. ---
**Author:** ![Dragonblink](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b9bd4f/32.png) [@Dragonblink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dragonblink)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2003, 9:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-dad-keeps-refering-to-his-fiancee-by-the-wrong-name/194065/32 "2003-08-10T21:57:32Z")
I’ve been known to refer to friends’ pets of all species as “Cat,” after living with three troublemaking cats for so long. ---
**Author:** ![grettle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/aeb1de/32.png) [@grettle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/grettle)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2003, 10:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-dad-keeps-refering-to-his-fiancee-by-the-wrong-name/194065/33 "2003-08-10T22:07:58Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by pepperlandgirl \* > \*\*My grandma would go through my sisters’ names _and_ the dogs’ names before finally getting to me. > > My cats’ names are Willow and Tara. But they now answer to “Tar-Willow” and “Will-Tara” \*\* Your cats answer to their names? ---
**Author:** ![Andries\_Pretorius](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/74df32/32.png) [@Andries\_Pretorius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Andries_Pretorius)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2003, 1:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-dad-keeps-refering-to-his-fiancee-by-the-wrong-name/194065/34 "2003-08-11T01:34:29Z")
My grandmother, at 56, could never keep us kids straight. I was always called by my brothers’, dad’s or cousins’ names. We assumed she was crazy. Now that I’m that age I find it perfectly normal and tell the little 'uns they do the same to me (they don’t but why let them think they are the only sane ones?) ---
**Author:** ![thatDDperson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/9de0a6/32.png) [@thatDDperson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thatDDperson)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2003, 5:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-dad-keeps-refering-to-his-fiancee-by-the-wrong-name/194065/35 "2003-08-11T05:25:22Z")
Now, why do y’all think that us canny Southerners call everybody “Honey-child”? ---
**Author:** ![Kricket](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/f14d63/32.png) [@Kricket](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kricket)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2003, 6:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-dad-keeps-refering-to-his-fiancee-by-the-wrong-name/194065/36 "2003-08-11T06:11:53Z")
I have five children and do the role call thing. Then it gets down to “hey you” and “you know who you are”. I’m thinking about just getting them nametags. Not that this will help much if they stand too far away and I don’t have my eyes in. ---
**Author:** ![pepperlandgirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f17d59/32.png) [@pepperlandgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pepperlandgirl)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2003, 7:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-dad-keeps-refering-to-his-fiancee-by-the-wrong-name/194065/37 "2003-08-11T07:25:03Z")
> [@](#): > > Your cats answer to their names? Occasionally. If they feel like it. And they want something…and they were going to come to me anyway… ---
**Author:** ![Daerlyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/898d66/32.png) [@Daerlyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daerlyn)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2003, 10:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-dad-keeps-refering-to-his-fiancee-by-the-wrong-name/194065/38 "2003-08-11T10:09:53Z")
My mother’s parents often call me ‘Charmian’ (my mother’s name). Not terribly surprising, considering that I strongly resemble her. What’s weird is that my _father’s_ parents would often call me ‘Norah’, one of his sisters’ names, whom I don’t resemble in the slightest. I live with one step-sister, but she has the same first name as me, so our parents got off easy there. ---
**Author:** ![Zoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/a4c791/32.png) [@Zoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zoe)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2003, 10:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-dad-keeps-refering-to-his-fiancee-by-the-wrong-name/194065/39 "2003-08-11T10:43:39Z")
I nipped the problem in the bud when I married the second time. They both have the same name. ---
**Author:** ![Lord\_Ashtar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ea924/32.png) [@Lord\_Ashtar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lord_Ashtar)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2003, 3:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-dad-keeps-refering-to-his-fiancee-by-the-wrong-name/194065/40 "2003-08-11T15:08:01Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Vixenation \* > **If my dad constantly referred to his fiance by his ex-wife’s name, I’d be more worried he was still stuck on her than about the possibility of Alzheimer’s.** I guess that’s my real concern. When he and my mom got divorced, he never called ‘D’ by my mom’s name. Now that he and ‘D’ have split up and he’s on to ‘J’, I wonder why he’s doing it now. I suppose it’s not my problem, as he’s 56 and can make his own decisions. It’s just weird, you know? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-dad-keeps-refering-to-his-fiancee-by-the-wrong-name/194065.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-dad-keeps-refering-to-his-fiancee-by-the-wrong-name/194065.md?page=3)