# My Dad's birthday is this Friday. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [February 9, 2011, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-dads-birthday-is-this-friday/570794 "2011-02-09T19:35:51Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 8\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Wheelz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wheelz/32/5718_2.png) [@Wheelz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wheelz)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2011, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-dads-birthday-is-this-friday/570794/1 "2011-02-09T19:35:51Z")
…The first one since he passed away in September. I plan to call my Mom, of course, but it’ll be weird. “Hi, Mom! Happy dead husband’s birthday!” Okay, maybe not\* that \*weird, but it’s hard to know what to say. I can’t let the day pass without acknowledging it, though. I suppose I’ll just say I’m thinking about them both and ask how she’s doing. Shit, this still sucks. Does it get easier with time? ---
**Author:** ![shiftless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9c0ed/32.png) [@shiftless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/shiftless)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2011, 9:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-dads-birthday-is-this-friday/570794/2 "2011-02-09T21:17:51Z")
> [@Wheelz](#): > > Does it get easier with time? Yes. Every now and then I mention to my mom that I’ve been thinking about dad, something he said or did that I remember. How can that be bad if it’s a good memory? ---
**Author:** ![Leaffan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leaffan/32/299_2.png) [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2011, 9:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-dads-birthday-is-this-friday/570794/3 "2011-02-09T21:30:38Z")
It’s been 5 years. I don’t call on dad’s birthday anymore. I do call on their anniversary though. Your mom will appreciate a call **Wheelz**. Of course it gets easier with time: what doesn’t? ---
**Author:** ![Charley](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/97f17d/32.png) [@Charley](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Charley)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2011, 9:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-dads-birthday-is-this-friday/570794/4 "2011-02-09T21:46:47Z")
14 years for me, and I still call on his birthday, the anniversary of his death and their wedding anniversary. I don’t necessarily say anything particular, just the contact is enough for both of us. It really does get easier **Wheelz** , bear in mind that till September you’ve just got a lot of firsts to get through. ---
**Author:** ![Wheelz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wheelz/32/5718_2.png) [@Wheelz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wheelz)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2011, 9:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-dads-birthday-is-this-friday/570794/5 "2011-02-09T21:51:05Z")
> [@Leaffan](#): > > Of course it gets easier with time: what doesn’t? Yeah, I know. I’ve just been wallowing a bit lately, sorry. ---
**Author:** ![Gundy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b782af/32.png) [@Gundy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gundy)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2011, 9:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-dads-birthday-is-this-friday/570794/6 "2011-02-09T21:58:48Z")
My dad died about a year and a half ago, and it was a rough way of going, especially for my mom. Getting through all the firsts was hard – Dad’s birthday, Father’s Day, their anniversary – but it was worth the call or visit every time. We talked about Dad, celebrated in some small ways, usually cried, and while for a long time it felt like picking at a scab, it’s feeling more like helping one heal lately. It’s tough, but it does get better. Just be patient with her and yourself. ---
**Author:** ![Philster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/13edae/32.png) [@Philster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Philster)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2011, 10:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-dads-birthday-is-this-friday/570794/7 "2011-02-09T22:18:12Z")
Ugh. My dad died on my mom’s birthday. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2011, 10:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-dads-birthday-is-this-friday/570794/8 "2011-02-09T22:44:53Z")
> [@Leaffan](#): > > It’s been 5 years. I don’t call on dad’s birthday anymore. I do call on their anniversary though. > > Your mom will appreciate a call **Wheelz**. Probably even on days that have nothing to do with your dad. My dad joined a couple of bereavement support groups when Mom passed away. They do him a world of good. Is your mother involved in anything of that nature?