Again, some of us are pointing out that we’re talking about teenage girls, who are often intensely private about these kinds of things. I really didn’t even want my own father to know.
And once again – why don’t you go and ask your daughters how they’d feel? If your answer is, “well, I don’t think I should, or I don’t feel comfortable, or what she doesn’t know…” then DON’T SAY IT.
(And I think your own kid is a hell of a lot different than an annoying coworker. Yeesh)
Jeez, we are talking about an anonymous messageboard here. I myself have shared quite a few personal details that nobody else knows about…for one simple reason: nobody will ever know who polar bear is in real life. I found this to be a beautiful thread (as was Shodan’s) that got hijacked and stomped in the ground by a few holier than thou posters, most of whom still seem to have some issues about how their first periods were dealt with by the family. I can’t imagine the outlook in life needed to read the OP as anything but a beautiful sentiment of a parent that is realising how quickly kids grow up…
Periods ain’t beautiful.
Share what you like about your own damn periods, and I will igonre it as TMI, just leave other people out of it without their consent: it might be anonymous, but do you genuinely believe that a 12 year old girl would be happy knowing that information about her first menses has been broadcast to anybody, let alone a bunch of random internet strangers?
Yeah, but she doesn’t know; she’ll never know. This is an anonymous message board where people have talked about using cell phones in the bathroom, puking in public, speeding tickets, masturbation, and bowel movements for Christ’s sake!
You people turning this into some sort of witch hunt are being ridiculous. Hell, I buy pads all the time for my daughter. Menstruation is a perfectly natural female activity and nothing to be embarrassed about. She even tells me what brand to buy for her and what size of package.
When the hell did a perfectly natural biological event become embarrassing? You people embarrassed by this are the weirdos.
May I respectfully ask you to get bent?
No one here knows either myself or my daughters. Nothing I post will be anywhere in their perceptions. If it does become so, I know that they would be on board.
Why? Because I know my daughters. I tease them about potentially embarrassing stuff regularly.
Understand this. I made a point of writing “biodad” in my original post. I’m not the biodad of either of my girls. Menarche was a turning point in my relationship with both–the fact that they came to me, confided in me, and trusted me is beyond description.
Would they be mortified if I shared details with others? No, as a matter of fact. My ex and I have raised them to be open about themselves and biological facts. Hell, my daughters go to my friends to talk about intimate things, sparing me the expected dad reaction (and then sharing with me, inevitably).
I’ve had the dubious pleasure of being in multiple doctors’ offices/emergency rooms with every woman in my life–both daughters and my ex. Every time a nurse will ask “when was your last period” and every woman in the room will stumble about for an answer. I speak up with “she finished about two weeks ago” and the nurse says (has always said) “of course dad knows” with a smile.
So again, get bent. I’m a loving father who knows as much about his kids’ lives as he needs to. I also pay attention to the stock of pads below the sink, because I need/want my daughters to be comfortable. I also know, without a doubt, that my girls recognize how profound an event their first period was, both to themselves and to me. It was a defining moment in our relationship, for both of us (twice).
So you can have your own fears and insecurities, but don’t project them onto my family or my girls. Thanks.
Well then I’m weird and a prude. If you want to talk about your bathroom habits, sexual proclivities, and menstrual wonderment, then go ahead. I don’t enjoy such discussions and would be peeved as hell to know that someone else was talking about my personal workings, I don’t care how anonymously.
And just because something is perfectly natural doesn’t mean it can’t be embarrassing. Are you not embarrassed to fart loudly and stinkily in a crowded elevator? After all it’s a natural process…
The first paragraph just made you sound controlling; the last was damn creepy. A step-father celebrates the first menstrual flow of “his girls” as a defining moment in their relationship?
If she’s old enough to get a period, she’s old enough to decide if she wants to share that fact, and with whom. Even if she does decide to share it, it should be her decision.
You don’t get it, and you won’t get it.
Controlling? How about observant? I notice when the pad supply goes down. I notice when there’s a wrap of toilet paper in the half-open trash can. Both of my kids tell me “I’m a little bitchy. I started yesterday,” and think nothing of it. Because they know me and trust me.
For the second point, you’re obviously obtuse. I didn’t celebrate their first menstrual flow, I celebrated the fact that each came to me without hesitation. Trusted me to sort it out. To take care of it. To be “dad.” If you’ve never worked to earn the trust of a couple of kids who’ve had every father figure they’ve ever known bail on them, then your opinion is worth spit. If you’ve never poured your life and existence into a couple of kids because you loved them on their own terms, then you can get bent.
You obviously have issues. Don’t project them onto me. I have awesome daughters. They have a pretty neat dad. And beyond anything you might say: they love and trust me, and I’ve earned both.
“Of course, both of my girls grew up in a tiny community where menarche is celebrated with a bonfire. We’re at least a little pagan with rights of passage.”
Not quite what you said first time round, was it? How about you stop congratulating yourself on what a marvelous presence you are for them, and consider what is and isn’t appropriate behaviour for a step-father to two young girls.
Telling YOU is fine. Telling the whole world? That’s different. Besides, just because YOUR daughters are okay with it, does not mean every girl is, and I really think that the OP should have asked his daughter before sharing it here.
How about I don’t? There’s no incongruity between my first and second statement. My youngest burst through the door with her hand in a fist (trailed by her best friend and BFF’s mother) and yelled “today I am a woman!” My response–sitting at the kitchen table–was “You’re not a woman, yet. You’re a young lady.” I made sure that second daughter had all that she needed, and then called her mom (in Cali at the time, us in Kansas) so we could both speak to her. BFF’s mom organized a bonfire to celebrate the “right of passage.” I begged off (I had class early the next day, and have never bought into rights of passage myself), but the youngest went and had the rest of the small community celebrate her.
And to your first question, absolutely not. I’ve accomplished plenty in my life, but nothing compares to what I’ve accomplished with my two girls. What’s appropriate for a step-father (not even that now, as mom and I are divorced) is whatever I do. I have degrees, I have certificates, I have qualifications, etc. All of them are de rigueur as far as I’m concerned. What I’ve done with the girls is much more meaningful.
I don’t know what your problem is, and I’m going to exit the thread after this. I’ll tell you this though, I’m a dad. I’ve never sired a child, but I have two girls I love beyond belief. They run to me with their problems, they confide in me their difficulties, and their menarches were profound bonding moments for us. I entered the thread to add some experience and anecdote.
You shat all over that. I invite you to ask yourself why. Something about my very real and experienced reality set you off. What was it, and why?
Anyway, get bent. I’m out of this thread.
Remarkable restraint, considering your reality had just been altered and all.
It’s rite of passage.
I’m with Leaffan here.
True story: About ten years ago, I was at work one day when my boss, a petite white-haired British lady, took a phone call from her daughter. She hung up, walked into the main area of the office, where she could be heard by the entire editorial staff, and loudly announced, “I’m going to take an early lunch! Angie started her period unexpectedly and I need to go to the high school to bring her a change of clothes!”
Now, that was inappropriate. Partially because that’s just really not appropriate info to share in the workplace, and partially because there was an excellent chance I would actually meet Angie at some point.
The OP’s daughter is a random anonymous person. She is never going to find out about this thread unless he is a complete moron and shows it to her. None of us are ever going to meet her. None of us knows her name. I cannot work up any outrage about this whatsoever.
Jaysus! What the fuck crawled up your all’s asses? Might you be able to admit, maybe and just perhaps, that your experience isn’t everyone’s and that you don’t speak for all women (good god, that’s offensive) or even all teenage girls?
And yes, you’re correct. It’s rite, not right. I appreciate the editing so much.
We’ve derailed this thread far too much as it is. Yo, splatter, you’re neither of my daughters, or I. I’ll choose when and where to go into details about my experiences. But you and beastly are some arrogant sonsabitches. Seriously, the two of you want to substitute your experience for all women’s. You denigrate real experience and lived reality for your own completely subjective bias, and have the audacity to claim to speak for half the human population. Hint, having a vagina makes you no more an expert on the experiences of women than I, beyond your own.
Step off and step down. If you wish to tell me about your experiences with your own kids, I’ll consider you an expert. When I’m talking about mine, I deserve at least a benefit of a doubt.
Wait. Didn’t I say I was out? Need to leave now…
You know, I never thought that men could get PMS. Now I do. 
MsWhatsit – that’s another thing that bothers me. Everyone has the attitude, “well, she’ll never know this thread exists.” Which sounds like it would indeed bother her. This isn’t some random coworker – this is your kid.
This isn’t really the appropriate forum for posts like this to other posters. Some of your other posts in here have been getting a bit too riled, as well.
Let’s calm down a bit.
Not a warning, just a step in.
Just strictly replying to this exact part: would you feel the same about a thread discussing the OP’s son having his first nocturnal emission?
I think the phrase “dumbest statement I’ve ever heard” is inappropriate for MPSIMS, so I’ll have to go for “most provably false statement I can imagine.”