# my daughters essay **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [March 14, 2011, 5:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-daughters-essay/574675 "2011-03-14T17:40:30Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Rand\_Rover](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/db5fbb/32.png) [@Rand\_Rover](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rand_Rover)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2011, 3:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-daughters-essay/574675/21 "2011-03-15T03:07:45Z")
IMHO, the problem with the essay is it’s not an essay. It’s just a collection of sentences. There’s no introduction, body, and conclusion (and no discreet paragraphs with topic sentences within each section). ---
**Author:** ![Oakminster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/77aa72/32.png) [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2011, 4:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-daughters-essay/574675/22 "2011-03-15T04:59:16Z")
> [@Mahaloth](#): > > It reads like a passing, but perhaps C+ or B- 7th Grade paper. > > If she has a disability that affects her writing, it might be a “B”. But that is for 7th grade. Why would the same paper get a higher grade if written by a student with a disability? I’d think there should be one standard, applicable to all students. In math, 2 + 2 = 4. All students who answer “4” get credit for a correct answer. All students who answer “Not 4” get dinged for a wrong answer. Race, gender, disability–all irrelevant. ---
**Author:** ![JoseB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/joseb/32/1530_2.png) [@JoseB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JoseB)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2011, 8:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-daughters-essay/574675/23 "2011-03-15T08:52:50Z")
> [@Oakminster](#): > > Why would the same paper get a higher grade if written by a student with a disability? I’d think there should be one standard, applicable to all students. In math, 2 + 2 = 4. All students who answer “4” get credit for a correct answer. All students who answer “Not 4” get dinged for a wrong answer. Race, gender, disability–all irrelevant. Hmm… If you are talking mathematics, why, you may have a point. However, this is not mathematics --this is writing, and it is a lot “fuzzier” than mathematics. I can see a mentally disabled student and a “normal” student presenting written essays that are more or less at the same level, and the disabled student getting a higher grade, because he has had to exert himself more in order to overcome his disability and express himself. The higher grade there wouldn’t be for “correctness”, but for “effort”. Above and beyond the call of duty and all that. ---
**Author:** ![Oakminster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/77aa72/32.png) [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2011, 2:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-daughters-essay/574675/24 "2011-03-15T14:26:48Z")
> [@JoseB](#): > > Hmm… If you are talking mathematics, why, you may have a point. > > However, this is not mathematics --this is writing, and it is a lot “fuzzier” than mathematics. I can see a mentally disabled student and a “normal” student presenting written essays that are more or less at the same level, and the disabled student getting a higher grade, because he has had to exert himself more in order to overcome his disability and express himself. The higher grade there wouldn’t be for “correctness”, but for “effort”. Above and beyond the call of duty and all that. That’s garbage. Would you want a heart surgeon that got through school on “effort” instead of knowing how to perform heart surgery? ---
**Author:** ![Munch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/munch/32/5281_2.png) [@Munch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Munch)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2011, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-daughters-essay/574675/25 "2011-03-15T16:37:25Z")
> [@Rand\_Rover](#): > > IMHO, the problem with the essay is it’s not an essay. It’s just a collection of sentences. There’s no introduction, body, and conclusion (and no discreet paragraphs with topic sentences within each section). I agree with this. Have her go back through and outline this paper - it’s all over the place. Each paragraph is okay on their own, but they’re word islands, unconnected to any central theme. The opening paragraph hides her theme - that “the world isn’t always fair and people aren’t what they appear”. I think that theme is okay - but doesn’t truly hit what Harper Lee is going for. Have her boil it down to one digestible point that’s she’s come up with. It also seems that she’s connected with Boo - that’s great. He’s a wonderful character to write about, and can fit any of the themes that Lee covers. But she focuses a little too much on Scout and Jem. Finally, the concluding paragraph should have a conclusion - not just a statement of what happened in the book. “Boo showed the children who he really was” isn’t a conclusion - it’s just a fact from the book. What did that revelation ultimately mean for Boo and for the children? How did it tie into the theme(s) of the rest of the book? ---
**Author:** ![Beadalin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3be4f8/32.png) [@Beadalin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beadalin)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2011, 5:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-daughters-essay/574675/26 "2011-03-15T17:01:53Z")
There is a certain format for essays that was drilled into me starting in middle school. I don’t know how broadly this approach is taught, but it works well for every imaginable topic. If your daughter lacks experience in outlining essays, or in establishing a clear structure, she should try this. It’s the classic “Tell them what you’re going to tell them, tell them, then tell them what you told them.” Shoot for one paragraph per numeral below. I. Introduction and thesis statement. A few sentences introducing the reader to the topic. Final sentence of the first paragraph is the thesis statement. Format of the thesis statement is something like, “The residents of Maycomb thought Boo Radley was a monster, but it’s clear that he was actually brave, kind and observant.” (In other words, the thesis says that you will be arguing points A, B and C in the paper.) II. Point A (Boo Radley was brave because…) with supporting quotes III. Point B (Boo Radley was kind because…) IV. Point C (Boo Radley was observant because…) V. Conclusion. Include a re-statement of the thesis. ---
**Author:** ![elfkin477](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a9a28c/32.png) [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2011, 12:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-daughters-essay/574675/27 "2011-03-16T00:19:11Z")
> [@Beadalin](#): > > There is a certain format for essays that was drilled into me starting in middle school. I don’t know how broadly this approach is taught, but it works well for every imaginable topic. If your daughter lacks experience in outlining essays, or in establishing a clear structure, she should try this. It’s the classic “Tell them what you’re going to tell them, tell them, then tell them what you told them.” > > Shoot for one paragraph per numeral below. > > I. Introduction and thesis statement. A few sentences introducing the reader to the topic. Final sentence of the first paragraph is the thesis statement. Format of the thesis statement is something like, “The residents of Maycomb thought Boo Radley was a monster, but it’s clear that he was actually brave, kind and observant.” (In other words, the thesis says that you will be arguing points A, B and C in the paper.) > > II. Point A (Boo Radley was brave because…) with supporting quotes > > III. Point B (Boo Radley was kind because…) > > IV. Point C (Boo Radley was observant because…) > > V. Conclusion. Include a re-statement of the thesis. This is a great format…if the goal is to get a C or D. Higher level papers flow a lot better than the traditional five paragraph essay allows for. ---
**Author:** ![freeradicalscavenger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/3ab097/32.png) [@freeradicalscavenger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/freeradicalscavenger)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2011, 1:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-daughters-essay/574675/28 "2011-03-16T01:03:19Z")
Nowadays, profs and teachers search madly for plagiarism. They could easily stumble upon this thread. Several years ago, when I was in grade 10, this happened to me. Permanent record stuff. It was a terrifying and embarrassing situation, but alas, I have never even come close to such an act again. ---
**Author:** ![The\_wind\_of\_my\_soul](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ecc23a/32.png) [@The\_wind\_of\_my\_soul](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_wind_of_my_soul)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2011, 12:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-daughters-essay/574675/29 "2011-03-16T12:55:33Z")
> [@elfkin477](#): > > This is a great format…if the goal is to get a C or D. Higher level papers flow a lot better than the traditional five paragraph essay allows for. If I recall correctly, I was still using the five paragraph essay in 11th grade and receiving good grades for them. And in 12th grade, I took the AP English exam and received college credit for my high school English classes, so this wasn’t a case of a poor school system either. ---
**Author:** ![Munch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/munch/32/5281_2.png) [@Munch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Munch)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2011, 2:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-daughters-essay/574675/30 "2011-03-16T14:21:27Z")
> [@elfkin477](#): > > This is a great format…if the goal is to get a C or D. Higher level papers flow a lot better than the traditional five paragraph essay allows for. This appears to be a one-page limit essay - it fits perfectly on one page after you account for paragraph breaks. So I definitely would not classify this as a “higher level” paper. More of a quick writing assignment. ---
**Author:** ![bengangmo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/50afbb/32.png) [@bengangmo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bengangmo)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2011, 2:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-daughters-essay/574675/31 "2011-03-16T14:48:53Z")
> [@The\_wind\_of\_my\_soul](#): > > If I recall correctly, I was still using the five paragraph essay in 11th grade and receiving good grades for them. And in 12th grade, I took the AP English exam and received college credit for my high school English classes, so this wasn’t a case of a poor school system either. How old is 11th grade? Is it about 16? (enter school at 5, 11 years of school?) If so, I would have written something like that under exam conditions, with quotes done from memory…so if it was a prepared paper, I would have expected nothing more than a C at best ---
**Author:** ![GiantRat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e47c2d/32.png) [@GiantRat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GiantRat)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2011, 4:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-daughters-essay/574675/32 "2011-03-16T16:47:45Z")
> [@Oakminster](#): > > Why would the same paper get a higher grade if written by a student with a disability? I’d think there should be one standard, applicable to all students. In math, 2 + 2 = 4. All students who answer “4” get credit for a correct answer. All students who answer “Not 4” get dinged for a wrong answer. Race, gender, disability–all irrelevant. Sorry, I can’t resist[invoking the Master](http://www.straightdope.com/columns/read/1382/does-2-2-5-for-very-large-values-of-2)… More to the point, I’ve taught and mentored at the grad and post-grad levels. Sadly, I wouldn’t be surprised if something of this caliber came across my desk from a pre-law student (my apologies to the few competent attorneys out there). Your daughter has grasped the crux of the novel… but failed to expand her exploration of it. Asperger’s is funny that way, like most of the conditions in the autism spectrum. My experience with folks with these conditions is that the writing process benefits greatly from “talking it out” and taking notes - regardless of whether the student or “thought helper” takes the notes, having reference points to focus on the content and guide the writing process helps tremendously. ---
**Author:** ![beartato](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/9d8465/32.png) [@beartato](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/beartato)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2011, 7:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-daughters-essay/574675/33 "2011-03-16T19:30:52Z")
I am pretty surprised to hear of a class reading To Kill A Mockingbird in 11th grade/10th grade honors class. I think we read it in 7th grade. ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2011, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-daughters-essay/574675/34 "2011-03-16T19:59:12Z")
I don’t know how to assess this by grade level. It’s a lot better than many high school and college graduates could do. It’s not as good as many younger children could do. I would rate it higher than the poll choices. I think your daughter is avoiding the principle subject of the book, but she does understand the relationship of one sub-plot about Boo to that principle subject. That avoidance is probably common among high school and middle school students. Rape and racism are tough subjects to discuss for everybody. Just look at the threads on this board that deal with those subjects. ---
**Author:** ![Mahaloth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mahaloth/32/1079_2.png) [@Mahaloth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mahaloth)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2011, 2:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-daughters-essay/574675/35 "2011-03-17T02:05:51Z")
> [@Oakminster](#): > > Why would the same paper get a higher grade if written by a student with a disability? I’d think there should be one standard, applicable to all students. In math, 2 + 2 = 4. All students who answer “4” get credit for a correct answer. All students who answer “Not 4” get dinged for a wrong answer. Race, gender, disability–all irrelevant. I agree. There isn’t, though. I don’t get it either. ---
**Author:** ![LavenderBlue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e95f7d/32.png) [@LavenderBlue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LavenderBlue)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2011, 2:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-daughters-essay/574675/36 "2011-03-17T02:57:16Z")
> [@dalej42](#): > > What type of scale do you want us to use to evaluate the essay? > > I score standardized test essays as a part time job. If you want me to use the standard 1-6 score system, I’d give it a 4 on a 1-6 scale. Lots of details, but doesn’t have the organization, word choice, or development I’d expect in a higher scoring paper. > > I’d suggest scaling back on the number of specific facts about the book and add some more development about the ideas that she pulls out of the book. As a fellow test grader I’d be more inclined to a high three. The of the essay structure is very simplistic and does not engage the reader. > [@elfkin477](#): > > This is a great format…if the goal is to get a C or D. Higher level papers flow a lot better than the traditional five paragraph essay allows for. Agreed. That kind of structure comes across as very pedantic and indicative of typical lower level writing. If you want to aim higher you have to make the transitions between ideas flow better. ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2011, 6:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-daughters-essay/574675/37 "2011-03-17T06:28:34Z")
> [@elfkin477](#): > > This is a great format…if the goal is to get a C or D. Higher level papers flow a lot better than the traditional five paragraph essay allows for. That is entirely incorrect. The format is not a fill in the blank pattern. It’s a general organizational structure. It’s a bit predictable, and thus might not get you an A in higher classes and will almost certainly never win you an award of any kind, but it ought to at least get you a B if you write well at all. Well, as long as you don’t use it for anything longer than maybe five pages, as the paragraphs get too long at that point. I’ve been reluctant to share my writing here, as I’m sure a lot of you write better than me. But here’s a small excerpt I used back in an eleventh grade paper. I followed the 5 paragraph format. > [@](#): > > After the conversion, an MP3 takes an average of 1/10 the space of the an uncompressed file. The MP3 is an extraordinary encoding scheme that has passed the test of time. > > ``` > The history of the MP3 is quite extraordinary as well. Although the MP3 file has only been around for six years, the MP3 encoding algorithm was created in 1989 by Karlheinz Bradenburg, a German researcher at Fraunhofer IIS commercial institute. > > ``` The format allowed me a perfectly good transition. ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2011, 9:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-daughters-essay/574675/38 "2011-03-17T09:20:43Z")
> [@BigT](#): > > The MP3 is an extraordinary encoding scheme that has passed the test of time…Although the MP3 file has only been around for six years… Man, the test of time has gotten a lot easier 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![minlokwat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/minlokwat/32/2844_2.png) [@minlokwat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/minlokwat)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2011, 2:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-daughters-essay/574675/39 "2011-03-17T14:36:53Z")
You people. I swear. Once again someone comes in asking for assistance and the Dopers collectively drop the ball. With the fine intellect that is often on display, I find it difficult to believe that folks won’t come forth and smarten this paper up a bit. Ergo, I propose we each take a line and take a crack at it to come to the aid of the poster(s) in question. I’ll start: > [@](#): > > To Kill a Mockingbird authored by Harper Lee is a story about Scout Finch and her brother, Jem, living in the 1930’s in Alabama. should be: To Kill a Mockingbird! The very title elicits a conflux of mixed emotions confluxing intermittently. Is it about killing? Killing birds? Killing mockingbirds? What could this mean? Well, the book by Harper Lee is about a plucky girl, Scout Finch, her plucky brother Jem and her equally plucky father Atticus. I tell you, the apple didn’t fall far from \*that \*family tree! The novel takes place during the 1930’s –a time of despair, destitution and despondency in the rugged hellhole of the Deep South that is Alabama. I tell you, those mockingbirds never stood a chance! O.K., that’s all I got. ---
**Author:** ![pancakes3](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ba9def/32.png) [@pancakes3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pancakes3)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2011, 2:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-daughters-essay/574675/40 "2011-03-17T14:51:04Z")
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