# My daughter's mother died....

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-daughters-mother-died/605821>\
**Category:** In My Humble Opinion\
**Created:** [December 11, 2011, 12:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-daughters-mother-died/605821 "2011-12-11T12:51:27Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 2\
**Page:** 2

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**Author:** ![chizzuk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e36b37/32.png) [@chizzuk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chizzuk)\
**Post date:** [December 12, 2011, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-daughters-mother-died/605821/21 "2011-12-12T21:20:23Z")

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Be prepared that the actual experience of discovering her death may need some coping, too, and be willing to discuss it in detail with your daughter if that’s what she needs. I don’t have experience losing a parent, but I unexpectedly found someone dead a few weeks ago (natural causes) and it was pretty traumatic. I found her dead in bed and have had disturbing flashbacks triggered by simple things like going into a room and finding someone sleeping in a certain position, or not being able to wake them up right away.

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**Author:** ![Zsofia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/7bcc69/32.png) [@Zsofia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zsofia)\
**Post date:** [December 12, 2011, 10:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-daughters-mother-died/605821/22 "2011-12-12T22:10:22Z")

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That’s awful, I’m so sorry!

My niece and nephews were 15, 14, and 13 when their mother died (actually, it happened on the girl’s 16th birthday.) People are always asking me how they’re doing, and frankly I have to say I don’t know - sometimes you just _can’t tell_ with kids. So I guess that’s my advice - sometimes you don’t always know what’s going on in their heads, and that’s normal.

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