# My diagnosis. Latest problem. Alka-seltzer toe **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 7, 2025, 6:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-diagnosis-latest-problem-alka-seltzer-toe/1018027 "2025-05-07T18:19:36Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2025, 4:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-diagnosis-latest-problem-alka-seltzer-toe/1018027/21 "2025-05-08T16:17:59Z")
Update: sick. Oh lord, I am sick! Meds bad for tummy. (X3) Foot doesn’t hurt so bad as you’d think. On the way to doctor now. ---
**Author:** ![Jasmine](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jasmine/32/2964_2.png) [@Jasmine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jasmine)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2025, 4:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-diagnosis-latest-problem-alka-seltzer-toe/1018027/22 "2025-05-08T16:26:42Z")
Holy cow, thank God it’s out! Now, it will calm down and the meds can kill the rest of the infection. Please where shoes, or at least slippers, when walking around! ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2025, 10:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-diagnosis-latest-problem-alka-seltzer-toe/1018027/23 "2025-05-08T22:23:27Z")
Home from doctor. Ate alittle. Stayed in. Thats a big plus. Exact words from Doc: “Yes, \*Missy, you will keep your toe, your foot and your life. So quit yer weepin” Then holds up a scalpel. I look at it, it appeared sterile. (I know, its a germ thing) Glanced at Ivy. Her hands went on my shoulders. And he cuts about an 1/2 in. long effing trench in my big toe. Take a breather here. You good? Ok. Yeah, it hurt. Badly. Now, I’ve seen some purulent crap come out of living beings. I wouldn’t ordinarily be so squeamish. But I’ve been squeamish a few days now. Ivy grabbed the pukey pan like Doc Holiday pulling a Six gun. And…it kept coming. How can one toe have that much room? No sutures. It’s gotta stay open. So here I sit. Like Henry the 8th with a big guaze-y bandages on a propped foot. Barking orders no one cares about cause I couldn’t catch them, anyway. More shots. A banana bag. Follow-up instructions. I’m home. Don’t seem to be in inordinate pain, unless I’m up. My tummy has settled down. Thank you all for the well wishes and crossed(toes) fingers. \*(I’m often juvenilized from medical personnel in these ways, 🫡) ---
**Author:** ![BippityBoppityBoo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bippityboppityboo/32/5745_2.png) [@BippityBoppityBoo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BippityBoppityBoo)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2025, 10:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-diagnosis-latest-problem-alka-seltzer-toe/1018027/24 "2025-05-08T22:32:55Z")
> [@Beckdawrek](#): > > \*(I’m often juvenilized from medical personnel in these ways, 🫡) Bless their hearts….. ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2025, 10:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-diagnosis-latest-problem-alka-seltzer-toe/1018027/25 "2025-05-08T22:38:54Z")
E—xactly ---
**Author:** ![WolfpackJeep](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolfpackjeep/32/2921_2.png) [@WolfpackJeep](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WolfpackJeep)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2025, 11:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-diagnosis-latest-problem-alka-seltzer-toe/1018027/26 "2025-05-08T23:24:25Z")
WOOOOOOOOWWWW, it’s been a long time since we had an epic pus-draining story here on the Dope!!! Seriously, I’m sorry you had to have the experience first-hand (first-foot?), and I’m glad you’re on the mend. ---
**Author:** ![ParallelLines](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/parallellines/32/3575_2.png) [@ParallelLines](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ParallelLines)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2025, 6:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-diagnosis-latest-problem-alka-seltzer-toe/1018027/27 "2025-05-09T18:31:52Z")
@Beckdawrek, I see plenty of posting for you, with all signs of your usual energy and verve, so I’m hoping the pain is manageable and you’re keeping food down. Please continue to tolerate the good intentions of your medical personnel until you’re as recovered as you’re going to get. ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2025, 7:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-diagnosis-latest-problem-alka-seltzer-toe/1018027/28 "2025-05-09T19:03:20Z")
Yes..I’m feeling much much better today. No fever. I’m hopping around like Jerry Lewis being a ballerina. I could walk on my heel, but it pulls my arch and hurts. I have a few painful lymphnodes. I’m at dialysis now. I’ll feel even better after. The PA came over and took a look at the toe, unwrapped. He said “Lady you are a mess!” I told him I’ve been told that already today. He said it looks just like it should. Stay off it as much as possible. Take meds. Keep eating. Yes, I’m posting. Too much? If you see a problem PM me. I will immediately withdraw. ---
**Author:** ![BippityBoppityBoo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bippityboppityboo/32/5745_2.png) [@BippityBoppityBoo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BippityBoppityBoo)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2025, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-diagnosis-latest-problem-alka-seltzer-toe/1018027/29 "2025-05-09T19:05:30Z")
> [@Beckdawrek](#): > > Yes, I’m posting. Too much? Actually, you’re not posting enough. More Beck please! ---
**Author:** ![ParallelLines](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/parallellines/32/3575_2.png) [@ParallelLines](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ParallelLines)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2025, 9:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-diagnosis-latest-problem-alka-seltzer-toe/1018027/30 "2025-05-09T21:39:16Z")
> [@Beckdawrek](#): > > Yes, I’m posting. Too much? If you see a problem PM me. I will immediately withdraw. I didn’t check content, just to see if you’re lively and about - that was and remains my primary concern. Otherwise I wouldn’t have asked you to keep on doing the boring, painful, irritating stuff so you can remain, you know, _alive_ and kicking. Well, kicking is probably a bad idea right now ( 😉 ) - who wants to kick with a puffy foot, or balance on a puffy foot to kick with the good foot?! ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2025, 10:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-diagnosis-latest-problem-alka-seltzer-toe/1018027/31 "2025-05-09T22:32:14Z")
> [@Beckdawrek](#): > > the big toe I prefer the Latin name for it, _porcellus fori_. Hope you’re better soon. ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2025, 10:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-diagnosis-latest-problem-alka-seltzer-toe/1018027/32 "2025-05-09T22:42:03Z")
Thanks for the care and concern 😊 You a good 'un, Mr. Lines. I really do appreciate you and all the mods hard work. I know I’m troublesome. ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2025, 10:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-diagnosis-latest-problem-alka-seltzer-toe/1018027/33 "2025-05-09T22:44:42Z")
My doc called it the “great toe”. I told him…speak for your own toe. My toe is bad, bad, bad. ---
**Author:** ![rocking\_chair](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rocking_chair/32/2918_2.png) [@rocking\_chair](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rocking_chair)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2025, 10:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-diagnosis-latest-problem-alka-seltzer-toe/1018027/34 "2025-05-09T22:48:20Z")
I call it “went to market”. ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2025, 10:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-diagnosis-latest-problem-alka-seltzer-toe/1018027/35 "2025-05-09T22:50:43Z")
Oh! Y’all tickle me. 😄 Piggy=toe. Latin or market toe ---
**Author:** ![vbob](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/vbob/32/4439_2.png) [@vbob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vbob)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2025, 10:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-diagnosis-latest-problem-alka-seltzer-toe/1018027/36 "2025-05-09T22:59:06Z")
> [@BippityBoppityBoo](#): > > Actually, you’re not posting enough. More Beck please! But more strange fun stuff about the critters and folks and critterfolks around you, not badbadbad stuff happening TO you… ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2025, 11:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-diagnosis-latest-problem-alka-seltzer-toe/1018027/37 "2025-05-09T23:27:17Z")
My lastest wild animal was an Armadillo(named Armand, cute right?) He hung around about a month. He was eating food(cat food) and had a bucket to live in outside the garage. He seemed curious and friendly. Wasn’t a bother. I told the Siamese, take a lesson thats what being good looks like. As you probably know, Armadillos can carry leprosy. Son-of-a-wrek diagnosed my foot as leprosy onset. I was doomed, he said. Then he pulled my ear. To see if fell off. I reminded him Armand wouldn’t let me get any more than 3 feet from him. I never touched him. I think eventually he might’ve gotten friendlier. Alas he went and dug in to hibernate or find him a women Armadillo. And hasnt returned 🫤 Not leprosy, just wood-on(in)-the toe. The Lil’wrekker said “Oh, Mother, you obsess over clean floors, yet you walk around on the nasty deck and grass!” The doctor gave me the standard and not so standard lecture on diabetic feets. He ask, why in heck I was ever barefoot? I told him, "Look around we’re in Arkansas, the barefoot state! 😃 (All feets look forward to spring) ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2025, 12:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-diagnosis-latest-problem-alka-seltzer-toe/1018027/38 "2025-05-10T00:13:33Z")
> [@rocking\_chair](#): > > I call it “went to market”. Yep; _porcellus fori_ means, roughly, “little pig at market” Latin. The other toes are: _porcellus domi_ _porcellus carnivorus_ _porcellus non voratus_ _porcellus plorans domum_ Paste those into a Latin-to-English translator and see what you get. ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2025, 1:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-diagnosis-latest-problem-alka-seltzer-toe/1018027/39 "2025-05-10T01:18:45Z")
That’s so hilarious. I love to find out the ancient Latins called their toes _ **Piggies** _. Romans? I hope not Vulgar Latins. ---
**Author:** ![rocking\_chair](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rocking_chair/32/2918_2.png) [@rocking\_chair](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rocking_chair)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2025, 1:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-diagnosis-latest-problem-alka-seltzer-toe/1018027/40 "2025-05-10T01:30:02Z")
Didn’t need the translator for that! I’ve not heard or read it in Latin. What fun. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-diagnosis-latest-problem-alka-seltzer-toe/1018027.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-diagnosis-latest-problem-alka-seltzer-toe/1018027.md?page=3)