# My Divorce Saga Part II **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 18, 2011, 12:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-divorce-saga-part-ii/568023 "2011-01-18T00:40:31Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Cell\_Guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/df705f/32.png) [@Cell\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cell_Guy)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2011, 12:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-divorce-saga-part-ii/568023/1 "2011-01-18T00:40:31Z")
I’ve talked about my divorce in [this](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=576740) thread. Since then nothing has changed. My ex is refusing all communication with me and her lawyer is not responding to any of my lawyer’s communications. We are still at a standstill and it looks like we’re going to have to go to trial to get this done. We’ve had a few scheduled court dates in the past months and each time her lawyer has rescheduled them. There is another one scheduled for the end of the month and if it gets rescheduled then my lawyer is going to ask for a trial. Despite all this I’m doing pretty good. I’m back in the dating scene and trying to move on as much as possible. My shields went up when this whole thing started and I wouldn’t let anyone except my most trusted friends past it. Lately I’ve started to let that shield down and have fun. I said this in the other thread and I’ll say it again–thank-you to everyone for their support and encouragement. Even though I don’t know any of you past your screen names I couldn’t make it through this without your support! ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2011, 12:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-divorce-saga-part-ii/568023/2 "2011-01-18T00:43:00Z")
Sounds like you’re doing good. Hang in there. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2011, 12:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-divorce-saga-part-ii/568023/3 "2011-01-18T00:55:05Z")
Keep on keepin’ on - as Will Smith says, hate in your heart will hurt you too. She has to live with the reasons why she’s acting the way she’s acting. I’ve heard it said not to make any important decisions for at least a year after a life-changing event like a marriage ending - don’t be havin’ no babies or getting engaged until then, okay? 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2011, 3:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-divorce-saga-part-ii/568023/4 "2011-01-18T03:03:55Z")
> [@Cell\_Guy](#): > > My ex is refusing all communication with me and her lawyer is not responding to any of my lawyer’s communications. We are still at a standstill and it looks like we’re going to have to go to trial to get this done. Then _ **Get Thee To Trial!** _ Seriously. Get it into court where a judge is going to look less than kindly on the bullshit. ---
**Author:** ![SeaDragonTattoo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/df705f/32.png) [@SeaDragonTattoo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SeaDragonTattoo)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2011, 2:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-divorce-saga-part-ii/568023/5 "2011-01-19T02:01:47Z")
Yep. How soon can you get a court date? I’d do it ASAP, enough of this crap. Glad to hear you’re doing better. Keep on! ---
**Author:** ![lindsaybluth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/90db22/32.png) [@lindsaybluth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lindsaybluth)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2011, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-divorce-saga-part-ii/568023/6 "2011-01-19T21:07:03Z")
Glad to hear you’re feeling better and getting out there dating, sorry to hear she’s still stonewalling. ---
**Author:** ![PunditLisa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/4af34b/32.png) [@PunditLisa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PunditLisa)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2011, 9:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-divorce-saga-part-ii/568023/7 "2011-01-19T21:10:31Z")
If her lawyer won’t answer your lawyer, then he should file an official motion. He’ll HAVE to answer then. Good luck to you! ---
**Author:** ![Cell\_Guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/df705f/32.png) [@Cell\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cell_Guy)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2011, 4:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-divorce-saga-part-ii/568023/8 "2011-01-28T16:08:49Z")
After a slight setback it looks like we’re back on track. I hired a new attorney. My first one was good but seemed reluctant to go to trial. We talked about it and she recommended someone who she felt would be able to better represent me. I met with him last week, laid out the details and he agreed to take the case. He has no interest in negotiating. He thinks it’s ridiculous that the case is not over. We had a court appearance this morning and neither my ex or her lawyer were there. We filed a substitution of attorney and asked to set for trial which the judge granted. Now we begin trial prep. If she wants to propose a settlement we’ll listen, but we intend to go to trial. If there is no settlement by trial date, oh well. There’s about 3 months to the trial date. Maybe her lawyer will see the light and have a “come to Jesus” talk with her. I doubt it though. ---
**Author:** ![SeaDragonTattoo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/df705f/32.png) [@SeaDragonTattoo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SeaDragonTattoo)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2011, 5:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-divorce-saga-part-ii/568023/9 "2011-01-28T17:01:03Z")
Awesome. Just a few more months and it will be over. Sorry it isn’t yesterday, but at least now there’s a date and end in sight! ---
**Author:** ![lindsaybluth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/90db22/32.png) [@lindsaybluth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lindsaybluth)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2011, 6:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-divorce-saga-part-ii/568023/10 "2011-01-28T18:31:13Z")
I still find her behavior bizarre and erratic. Then again, if her lawyer is billing her specifically to ignore your requests, then perhaps at least _his_ actions make sense, if he’s trying to squeeze her for money. Glad things are progressing, sounds like the new attorney is no-nonsense. ---
**Author:** ![Drunky\_Smurf](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drunky_smurf/32/449_2.png) [@Drunky\_Smurf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drunky_Smurf)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2011, 7:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-divorce-saga-part-ii/568023/11 "2011-01-28T19:39:24Z")
> [@SeaDragonTattoo](#): > > Awesome. Just a few more months and it will be over. Sorry it isn’t yesterday, but at least now there’s a date and end in sight! My thoughts too. Hang in there and good luck. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2011, 6:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-divorce-saga-part-ii/568023/12 "2011-01-29T06:11:03Z")
> [@Cell\_Guy](#): > > After a slight setback it looks like we’re back on track. I hired a new attorney. My first one was good but seemed reluctant to go to trial. We talked about it and she recommended someone who she felt would be able to better represent me. I met with him last week, laid out the details and he agreed to take the case. He has no interest in negotiating. He thinks it’s ridiculous that the case is not over.\ Thank God! I totally agree with your new lawyer - this should have been over a long time ago. As far as I know, someone who is getting a divorce doesn’t have the right to just ignore the legal system indefinitely. Your ex’s actions, her lawyer’s actions, your former lawyer’s actions, none of them make sense to me. Hopefully you’re seeing the light at the end of the tunnel now. ---
**Author:** ![turner](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/22d042/32.png) [@turner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/turner)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2011, 3:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-divorce-saga-part-ii/568023/13 "2011-01-29T15:10:20Z")
Was your wife a drama queen in the marriage? From what you’re saying in both threads, it appears to me, that she _said_ she wanted a divorce but isn’t taking any action to follow through. I was just wondering if she expected you to grovel and boost her ego, but miscalculated. ---
**Author:** ![ShelliBean](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f9ae1b/32.png) [@ShelliBean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShelliBean)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2011, 5:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-divorce-saga-part-ii/568023/14 "2011-01-29T17:14:31Z")
You know the old saw about why divorce is so expensive (because it’s worth it!)? Well in this case that definitely seems to be true. Hell I kinda want your address just to send you a bottle of champagne when it’s over! ---
**Author:** ![Cell\_Guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/df705f/32.png) [@Cell\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cell_Guy)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2011, 2:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-divorce-saga-part-ii/568023/15 "2011-01-30T02:52:47Z")
I don’t think she was a drama queen during the marriage, but love is blind etc. I do believe that she thought I would just roll over and give her a divorce under her terms. If that’s what she wanted she shouldn’t have been so greedy when we separated. I also think that she believes if she holds out long enough I’ll run out of money and be forced to agree to a deal before I go bankrupt. So far I’ve spent about 1/3 of my annual salary on this (being a retail drone sucks). Luckily I have family members who are more than willing to give help when needed. And before anyone says anything, we are asking her for legal fees. Now I have to find a way to get her to agree to file our taxes jointly, otherwise I’m going to owe this year. This whole thing sucks. If I had a Delorean I’d go back in time and warn myself about her. **ShelliBean** , thanks for the offer but when this is all over the champagne is on me! ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2011, 3:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-divorce-saga-part-ii/568023/16 "2011-01-30T03:16:03Z")
Sometimes you think you know someone, then they get completely insane during the divorce. My ex had some extremely unlikely ideas of what I would do if she continued to paint me as a psycho who was planning to gun her down the moment she stepped out to get the mail while she simultaneously refused to negotiate any kind of settlement. I have no fucking clue WHAT she thought was going to happen\*, but she seemed really caught off-guard by me showing her parents the truth\*\* and preparing to go into court. I ultimately got nearly three times more money than I would have settled for had she been willing to get things worked out in the first couple of months. - maybe she thought I would kill her and she wanted to die to perpetuate her life’s goal of being the ultimate self-made victim, but she was completely off base on that one. \*\* Financial statements, divorce papers, her psycho letters to my attorney, etc. Bottom line is; Don’t torture yourself trying to figure out her motivations or what she thinks she’s going to get out of this. It isn’t rational. Just worry about what YOU want out of this and what you expect, keeping it solidly grounded in reality, and work toward achieving that with or without her cooperation. ---
**Author:** ![AK84](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/85e7bf/32.png) [@AK84](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AK84)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2011, 4:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-divorce-saga-part-ii/568023/17 "2011-01-30T04:36:54Z")
In the last thread the consensus was she was stringing you along as insurance if Mr Online turned out to be less then hoped for. Is he still around? If so he could be useful for you especially if he wants to marry her, offer her a faster divorce in exchange for getting a better bargain. Of course the opposite could be true as well, but finding out her precise circumstances cannot hurt. ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Cymbeline](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_cymbeline/32/9244_2.png) [@Green\_Cymbeline](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Cymbeline)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2011, 8:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-divorce-saga-part-ii/568023/18 "2011-01-30T08:53:37Z")
I remember your last thread and I just wanted to wish you luck. Her behavior is very bizarre. Just wondering, how does she afford to go out-of-country so often to visit Mr. Online? ---
**Author:** ![PunditLisa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/4af34b/32.png) [@PunditLisa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PunditLisa)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2011, 11:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-divorce-saga-part-ii/568023/19 "2011-01-30T11:13:50Z")
I think CellGuy has done an admirable job of seeking a clean break and not obsessing about her motives or new life. I think he should stay uninvolved because it will only lead to further heartache. ---
**Author:** ![Reloy3](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c68b51/32.png) [@Reloy3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Reloy3)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2011, 11:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-divorce-saga-part-ii/568023/20 "2011-01-30T11:16:23Z")
> [@Cell\_Guy](#): > > We had a court appearance this morning and neither my ex or her lawyer were there. What? In the Courts I practice in, if the other side doesn’t appear at any hearing, even a pre-trial hearing, without excuse, the judge enters a default judgment. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-divorce-saga-part-ii/568023.md?page=2)