# My dog almost burned my house down last night. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 8, 2015, 3:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-dog-almost-burned-my-house-down-last-night/709315 "2015-01-08T15:10:39Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 11\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![chiroptera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/df705f/32.png) [@chiroptera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chiroptera)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2015, 11:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-dog-almost-burned-my-house-down-last-night/709315/21 "2015-01-08T23:33:37Z")
> [@excavating\_for\_a\_mind](#): > > My sister had a dog that would “pretend” to pee when it was very cold out. I saw it happen once. She would take the dog to the porch and tell it to go pee. The dog would take a few steps into the backyard and squat (it was female) for about 3 seconds and then want to come back in. My sister would say “No! Go Pee!”, and the dog would go back out and really pee, then my sister would let the dog back in. > > My sister told me she found out about the “fake peeing” once when she found the dog had peed in the house one night. She knew she let the dog out, but didn’t watch her. I doubted a dog would try to trick its master, which is why my sister had me watch it in action. My smallest, thin, very short-haired female dog hates cold weather and she will do this as well. I don’t think she’s trying to “trick” me or be sneaky or malicious though. She is just obligingly running outside in frigid weather and squatting briefly because she thinks it’s what I expect, and she is right. Sort of, in her little dog brain. ---
**Author:** ![iiandyiiii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/iiandyiiii/32/7924_2.png) [@iiandyiiii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iiandyiiii)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2015, 11:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-dog-almost-burned-my-house-down-last-night/709315/22 "2015-01-08T23:53:30Z")
> [@Loach](#): > > I’m disappointed it took till post 7. I’m disappointed no one got the reference until 12 posts later 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Strangelove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dr.strangelove/32/6613_2.png) [@Dr.Strangelove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Strangelove)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2015, 12:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-dog-almost-burned-my-house-down-last-night/709315/23 "2015-01-09T00:32:16Z")
My sister’s dog tried to eat a desk lamp while the lamp was plugged in. It gave itself a hell of a shock and loosed its bowels on the wall. The dog is alive to this day, surviving other such incidents as “the time when it ate an entire bottle of a friend’s medicine” and “the day after eating a coffee can full of bacon grease”. ---
**Author:** ![PurpleClogs](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f04885/32.png) [@PurpleClogs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PurpleClogs)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2015, 1:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-dog-almost-burned-my-house-down-last-night/709315/24 "2015-01-09T01:04:07Z")
Glad the dog (and house) are ok! This reminds me of a TV show that used to be on Animal Planet 10-15 years ago, Emergency Vets. There was this one episode where the people found their cat alive, but acting strange. Vet found by looking into the eyes a starburst white pattern. The whole show was set up as such a mystery. What in the world happened to this cat? Turns out it chewed on an electrical cord and got zapped. My cat loves to chew plastic stuff and I’m so paranoid of her doing this. The only one she succeeded with so far was coincidentally unplugged at the time. Whew! About peeing… I thought if a person pees on an electric fence they get bad burns. So I wonder how your dog managed to get away with this unharmed? Amazing! I too have a dog who fakes it in bad weather. Our 5 lb smooth coat chihuahua. Cold, wind, rain, dew, fall leaves…if there’s anything “weird” going on outside, he just stands at the door. I’ll say to him through the glass, “go make a peeps!” And he’ll walk to the edge of the patio, lift his leg for a millisecond, and return to the door. We repeat this another 2 or 3 times before he finally goes. I tell him he’s such a princess. 🙂 > [@Dr.Strangelove](#): > > “the day after eating a coffee can full of bacon grease”. Omg, the mess! ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2015, 1:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-dog-almost-burned-my-house-down-last-night/709315/25 "2015-01-09T01:14:02Z")
> [@Dr.Strangelove](#): > > … and “the day after eating a coffee can full of bacon grease”. I hope they kept the dog outside for a few days until everything moved through. The aftermath of that much lube in one sitting would be … “interesting”. ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Strangelove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dr.strangelove/32/6613_2.png) [@Dr.Strangelove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Strangelove)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2015, 1:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-dog-almost-burned-my-house-down-last-night/709315/26 "2015-01-09T01:26:33Z")
> [@LSLGuy](#): > > I hope they kept the dog outside for a few days until everything moved through. The aftermath of that much lube in one sitting would be … “interesting”. My sister doesn’t speak much of the aftermath :). But IIRC it happened while she was at work, and most of it “passed” through the dog in the first few hours. I never asked specifics, but I have every confidence in the result when you combine carpet and a dog with a greasy asshole. I already know what they do with an _itchy_ bum. ---
**Author:** ![Hilarity\_N.Suze](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hilarity_n.suze/32/6223_2.png) [@Hilarity\_N.Suze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hilarity_N.Suze)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2015, 4:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-dog-almost-burned-my-house-down-last-night/709315/27 "2015-01-09T04:31:32Z")
Once we moved from one old house to another. The last thing we moved was the cat (he kept hiding, until there was nothing to hide behind). As soon as we let him go in the new house he ran to a corner, where he peed. Unfortunately this old house had some outlets on the floor, and one of them was in a corner, and yes, it was that corner. Pop! Spark! All lights in house go out! Trauma all around. This was a cat who had been a perfect gentleman all his live and never thought outside the box. At least he didn’t start a fire. Although there was a smell of burning cat hair. Altogether a lot of bad smells (bad electricity, cat pee, etc.) Also, four years ago I had a puppy. Christmas puppy. About exactly four years ago the weather got really bad and I thought, okay. It’s five below (F) and he just has this little puppy coat, so it’s okay, just this once, to let him pee on the patio. Yeah. Just this once. That took months to undo. Put puppy on leash, walk him out through the slush to where we wanted to go (a place we had shoveled for him, in fact). Hidden benefit, though, we finally got rid of the ugly indoor-outdoor carpet on the patio. ---
**Author:** ![Bam\_Boo\_Gut](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/8c91f0/32.png) [@Bam\_Boo\_Gut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bam_Boo_Gut)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2015, 1:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-dog-almost-burned-my-house-down-last-night/709315/28 "2015-01-09T13:55:25Z")
One of my dogs - the sensless barker - pretends she’s eating when I call her to come inside. I know she’s not eating because just seconds ago she was on the edge of the gallery barking senselessly until I opened the door - it’s then time to head for the dog bowl. She knows I know her little scam. The dog bowl being outside which means I won’t bring her in if she’s eating and she can continue the senseless barking spree. ---
**Author:** ![MissTake](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/misstake/32/3189_2.png) [@MissTake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MissTake)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2015, 2:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-dog-almost-burned-my-house-down-last-night/709315/29 "2015-01-09T14:34:52Z")
My sister has two mini weenie dogs. Little low-riders. She shovels the back deck off AND shovels a path all around the backyard so they can do their guard dog routine along with their duties. Dach doesn’t care, it’s not unusual to look into the snowy yard and see only the tip of a nose pointing out of a snowbank. Princess Molly, on the other hand, will fake pee where Dach has done his business, then trots back to the door like “We cool, we cool”. Then comes inside and pees on the carpet. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2015, 2:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-dog-almost-burned-my-house-down-last-night/709315/30 "2015-01-09T14:39:35Z")
I’m shocked you haven’t trained your dog about basic electricity, which includes not peeing on live wires – a valuable lesson for dogs AND humans. ---
**Author:** ![hotflungwok](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/edb3f5/32.png) [@hotflungwok](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hotflungwok)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2015, 3:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-dog-almost-burned-my-house-down-last-night/709315/31 "2015-01-09T15:28:00Z")
> [@Dr.Strangelove](#): > > I never asked specifics, but I have every confidence in the result when you combine carpet and a dog with a greasy asshole. I already know what they do with an _itchy_ bum. Slip n Slide? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-dog-almost-burned-my-house-down-last-night/709315.md?page=1)