# My Employer's Idea of Maternity Leave **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [April 14, 2004, 5:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-employers-idea-of-maternity-leave/240003 "2004-04-14T17:50:32Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![jlzania](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/67e7ee/32.png) [@jlzania](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jlzania)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2004, 3:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-employers-idea-of-maternity-leave/240003/81 "2004-04-16T15:04:24Z")
> [@](#): > > **catsix** - > I have three coworkers who abuse the hell out of it. _They_ themselves are asshole enough to say to me ‘But it’s OK if you have to stay late because it’s not like you have a family to go home to.’ So we’ve established that _you_ work with assholes. > [@](#): > > **catsix** - I used to be the kind of dumbass who would stay late and get someone else’s work done. I don’t do that anymore. What bothers me is the balls with which these people will tell me to my face that they expect it. It’s marvelous that you’ve decided to stand up for yourself but perhaps you should have set limits before you became so angry about the whole issue. I would have resented the hell out of my co-workers had they had the temerity to use that as an excuse. However, I always made it perfectly clear that my life was just as important to me as their’s was. That was never negotiable. > [@](#): > > **catsix** - No, I’m not a martyr at all. I’m someone who is tired of being unfairly asked to do someone else’s share of the work because of a choice that person made. Once again, and I’m not trying to be nasty but I see this as more of a problem with your inability to establish boundaries and stand up for yourself. > [@](#): > > **catsix** - Shit, I thought the person who expected their scheduled time at work to include ‘leave the office and go to junior’s soccer game despite not having all my work done and just leave that for someone else to do’ was the jerk. So would I have been an equal jerk for leaving some of my work undone for that day because I needed to drive my father to a doctor’s appointment? How about the time my horse got the snot kicked out of her and I needed to rush off to met the vet? Life intervenes with the best laid plans. And yes, **your co-workers** are taking advantage of **you** with the apparent consent of your boss but how does that relate to **Velma’s** maternity leave? ---
**Author:** ![Velma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/85e7bf/32.png) [@Velma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Velma)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2004, 3:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-employers-idea-of-maternity-leave/240003/82 "2004-04-16T15:04:53Z")
Well, I agree that **catsix** is being taken advantage of. I would be upset if I were treated that way too, kids or not. I have no intention of being that way and I have yet to see anyone do it here. We do have people who are flaky and find reasons to come late and leave early but it has nothing to do with kids. In my case, I knew that I didn’t want to continue working full time when I had a baby. I told my boss up front and suggested making my position a job share. Since this meant my company can pay the new person less than what I am making and save more money by dropping my benefits, it’s win/win for us and they agreed. Plus now someone who needs a job can get one. If they had said no, you have to work full time or nothing, I probably would quit. I didn’t expect 12 weeks maternity leave when I started here. I wasn’t really thinking about children at all at the time and I sure wasn’t going to turn down a decent job because of the maternity leave. At the time I wasn’t sure I ever wanted kids. I was never one of those people who always knew I wanted children. Yet somehow I was able to understand why other people might, and it didn’t ever bother me when someone went on maternity leave. Actually, the times when someone did have to leave to pick up a sick child or coach a little league game my feelings were ‘better them than me.’ There have been other cases where people were gone, specifically a woman whose son got cancer, and she got many more weeks off (I think over 6 months total) and much more than 4 weeks of that was paid. I am glad she got it. If I had a problem with my workload I would take it up with my boss, not the person who used to do it. I know 6 weeks is the norm, sometimes paid and sometimes not. That is why I was suprised and pleased when I asked and was told I could get 10 weeks with partial pay. I feel that once my employer tells me that is their policy then I have a reasonable expectation that they follow through on it. We are not going to go bankrupt over 6 weeks, but it is difficult to cover 6 weeks pay, even at 60%, at only about 10-12 weeks notice. I know it is my choice to have a child and my responsibility to pay for it and we are going to. Now then. I will be thinking of all of you after I have my baby and I am lounging around the house, sipping margaritas as my precious, perfect bundle sleeps peacefully. Watch me laugh all the way to the hospital when I am in labor as I think about the suckers who are stuck at work that day. Come on everyone, become parents for the benefits. You know you want to. We can all go to Tahiti with the tax money we will save. ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Cymbeline](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_cymbeline/32/9244_2.png) [@Green\_Cymbeline](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Cymbeline)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2004, 3:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-employers-idea-of-maternity-leave/240003/83 "2004-04-16T15:08:28Z")
> [@Hamadryad](#): > > IMNPFHO, then you should start a thread about how much other people’s maternity leave frustrates you…not piss all over a thread complaining about something totally different. The OP was complaining about inadequate maternity packages; you are complaining about pregnant people having a package **at all**. Different thread. > > If you wander into a thread BY a parent ABOUT a parenting issue, don’t be so shocked and appaled at the reactions of _other parents_. And don’t be amazed that your views are not received with open arms and bouquets of roses. Sigh. I am not complaining about maternity packages, so please understand that. I am all for them. I plan on havings kids, and I surely hope my company has one. Also, this may be a parenting issue, but it becomes a non-parent issue when it affects non-parents, which it clearly does as illustrated by scenarios presented in this thread. > [@Daisy Mae](#): > > Assigning blame to the pregnant woman? I read some people bitching about a SITUATION. I’m not sure Catsix was getting out her knives to carve up the pregnant woman, I think (I can’t assume like many others seem to be) Catsix was just presenting another side of the story and venting about her situation. > > … > > Wow, people sure get hostile over a difference of opinion. Catsix expresses the opinion that he/she resents working extra for the parents in his/her line of work and people have to take that and run with it huh? I can’t believe I saw someone take that opinion and insinuate that someone who believes that might want forced sterilizations and forcing women to be SAHMs. Helllooooo, talk about taking things to the extreme? > > I think it comes down to the fact that most parents (and I can see why) think the rest of us care as much about their child, their birth experience, their family more than we all do. Before the harpies jump on my back, saying that does NOT make me hate humanity or make me an anti-social person. I simply think that it is a human trait. I totally agree, **Daisy Mae.** We are not being jerks. The critics are jumping all over us, and I don’t understand why. We are not criticising you or complaining about you. I am sure you have never acted in any of the annoying ways which were related by **catsix** and others. We’re criticising people that that and bad employers, and unfair policies. It is very unfair when you twist my position and try to say that I am against maternity packages. I never ever said any such thing. ---
**Author:** ![Bruce\_Daddy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/85f322/32.png) [@Bruce\_Daddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bruce_Daddy)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2004, 3:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-employers-idea-of-maternity-leave/240003/84 "2004-04-16T15:12:55Z")
> [@doreen](#): > > Now I’m confused- which part do you stand by? It seems to me that the period of time a person is medically unable to work due to pregnancy or birth should be treated no differently than the period of time a person is unable to work due to any other non work related medical condition. Why should I not get disability while recovering from childbirth and get it while recovering from the leg I broke skiing? Why should I get it for abdominal surgery but not for a C-section? If I have a heart attack or break my leg or have to have abdominal surgery, that’s not voluntary. If a couple decides to have a baby they should plan properly and be ready financially and otherwise and not put the burden on others. ---
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2004, 3:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-employers-idea-of-maternity-leave/240003/85 "2004-04-16T15:26:55Z")
So you’ve never heard of accidents? My daughter was a surprise baby. Would be great if all children were planned, ain’t the way it happens in the real world. ---
**Author:** ![CrankyAsAnOldMan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crankyasanoldman/32/11670_2.png) [@CrankyAsAnOldMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CrankyAsAnOldMan)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2004, 3:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-employers-idea-of-maternity-leave/240003/86 "2004-04-16T15:27:59Z")
> [@Bruce\_Daddy](#): > > If I have a heart attack or break my leg or have to have abdominal surgery, that’s not voluntary. If a couple decides to have a baby they should plan properly and be ready financially and otherwise and not put the burden on others. I don’t understand how one would do this in practice, however. Read one way, I could take this to mean that when I had a baby, I should have told my employer “please don’t pay me–I know it’s your policy to do so, but I’ve planned financially and I don’t want to be a burden.” There is no way my employer would have complied. I am not sure they could have, legally. I am sure General Counsel would have had a conniption over it. Or does this mean I should not have had a baby at all, knowing my employer’s policy would burden others? Or should I have ignored medical advice and returned to work sooner? I’m not just asking cranky questions; I’m trying to feel my way around your meaning because I’m not sure what you meant. Let me pose more questions that are relevant to me: Like some women end up with, I had a c-section which extended my leave by two weeks. The c-section wasn’t really voluntary. Do you think this changes the situation at all? I chose voluntarily to get pregnant (that was unchanged) but my recovery time changed involuntarily. In that situation, would your statement mean that I should get 8 weeks paid leave, or 2 weeks? What if my c-section wasn’t entirely involuntarily (I could have gone vaginally but chose to have the surgery). Should that change the leave? ---
**Author:** ![Hamadryad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/6de8d8/32.png) [@Hamadryad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hamadryad)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2004, 3:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-employers-idea-of-maternity-leave/240003/87 "2004-04-16T15:29:09Z")
> [@nyctea scandiaca](#): > > We’re criticising people that that and bad employers, and unfair policies. It is very unfair when you twist my position and try to say that I am against maternity packages. I never ever said any such thing. And that’s why I said that maybe a new thread was in order. Or maybe **catsix** should either change her tactics, or start a new thread. “My employer sucks too, for this reason?” Sure, pretty much on-topic. “I’m tired of coworker-parents being assholes to me?” NEW. FUCKING. THREAD. I’m sorry if I came off as overly-harsh to you; it just seemed like it was more of the same “parents are evil and fuck work up for non-parents” bullshit. As a note: I’ve been a housewife since 1995; my hubman got to take off _four whole days_ after each birth. I’m also wondering if **catsix** is as incensed and infuriated by the credit parents get on their taxes…just for _having children_. ---
**Author:** ![YoudNeverGuess](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/a587f6/32.png) [@YoudNeverGuess](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/YoudNeverGuess)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2004, 3:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-employers-idea-of-maternity-leave/240003/88 "2004-04-16T15:38:49Z")
Just one more quick point about the fact that people ‘choose’ to have kids. This may be true in theory but in practice: (a) It is a perfectly natural thing for a woman to feel that she wold like to have a child. I’m NOT saying anything about that those who don’t want to have kids - that’s natural too for them, but it is an instinct in the majority of women so maybe you _could_ say it’s not really a choice as such (b) Accidents can happen and some people don’t believe in abortion etc. and for them they have no ‘choice’ but to go through with the pregnancy _or_ a woman might not have initially planned on having kids, became pregnant by accident but then changed her mind and felt she really wanted to keep her baby. This doesn’t leave her much time for planning how she will cope financially after she has the baby. © and what about single mothers. A lot of the people mentioning this ‘choice’ to have kids because you want them talk about how parentS should find some other means of supporting their family financially other than relying on the woman’s maternity pay but what if there is no other parent? In an ideal world and for a lot of lucky couples having children is a choice and one that enriches their lives. For others however kids can pop up with less notice and planning and they can also cause difficulties in their lives. They can get sick (very sick), they can get in trouble in school or with the law, they can have disabilities which require more care than normal kids, just like any other members of someone’s family. The fact is that the vast majority of people don’t live a vacuum. They _have_ families and personal lives and I say any employer who can’t recognise this would be better off hiring a bunch of robots (and they’d probably prefer to as well if they could get away with it). If society becomes too individualistic you’ll have anarchy on your hands. Any civilised community realises the importance of mutual support amongst its members. ---
**Author:** ![Velma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/85e7bf/32.png) [@Velma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Velma)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2004, 3:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-employers-idea-of-maternity-leave/240003/89 "2004-04-16T15:46:27Z")
> [@Bruce\_Daddy](#): > > If I have a heart attack or break my leg or have to have abdominal surgery, that’s not voluntary. If a couple decides to have a baby they should plan properly and be ready financially and otherwise and not put the burden on others. Just interested - would you then support disability for someone with an unplanned pregnancy? How about to recover after an abortion or miscarriage? Or someone who had a child by rape? Is it only the ‘planned’ aspect that bothers you? I agree that my child is my financial burden. However, I’m not going to go to my employer and say, don’t give me that money, I don’t need it. While you’re at it, don’t pay me for my vacation either. Why should you pay me for hours not worked? I chose to go to Florida voluntarily. On preview. \*\* CrankyAsAnOldMan\*\* is pretty much summarizing my feelings in this thread. And doing it faster, too. Posted by **Hamadryad** > [@](#): > > I’m also wondering if catsix is as incensed and infuriated by the credit parents get on their taxes…just for having children. Can…open. Worms…everywhere. ---
**Author:** ![Velma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/85e7bf/32.png) [@Velma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Velma)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2004, 3:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-employers-idea-of-maternity-leave/240003/90 "2004-04-16T15:50:37Z")
In the interest of clarity, I should add that I know women don’t usually get disability after an abortion or miscarriage. Maybe another example would be better, where someone got ill or injured as a direct result of their choices. ---
**Author:** ![tiny\_ham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@tiny\_ham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiny_ham)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2004, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-employers-idea-of-maternity-leave/240003/91 "2004-04-16T15:59:32Z")
Also, in my experience (with companies not compiled of jerks, and I’ve seen a lot as a temp), women who plan on maternity leave give their management at least four months of notice. FOUR MONTHS…if your superiors can’t get their shit together and hire a temp or plan for adequate distribution of work, they need someone else to take over the business. The way some of you are talking, women come in and say “havin’ a baby, I’ll be gone friday!” ---
**Author:** ![artemis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/91b2a8/32.png) [@artemis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/artemis)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2004, 4:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-employers-idea-of-maternity-leave/240003/92 "2004-04-16T16:02:28Z")
> [@Hamadryad](#): > > I’m also wondering if **catsix** is as incensed and infuriated by the credit parents get on their taxes…just for _having children_. I can’t speak for **catsix** , but _i’m_ incensed by it. Why shoud parents get tax credits just because they have children? Now, before all the parents reading this thread jump down my throat - the reason I’m incensed by it is because those stupid tax credits are a dodge. Parents don’t deserve a tax break because they have children - they deserve a tax break beacuse they have _dependents_. Why should some people, whose dependents just happen to be minors, get a special tax break that other people whose dependents happen to be adults don’t get? Why is taking care of a child more important than taking care of a disabled adult? We should junk the stupid “child tax credits” and instead raise the dependent deduction to something reasonable. Parents would still get their break - but so would the other folks doing the difficult (but absolutely necessary) job of caring for a dependent human being. (And the standard deduction should be raised, too, while we’re at it - does anyone think $4000 is a reasonable minimum income to live off of? That’s what the standard deduction is supposed to be, after all - the minimum amount of money required to live, which thus deserves not to be taxed.) Too often we as a society let politicians get away with these “it’s for the CHILDREN!!!” special policies rather than demanding programs that benefit everyone. Too often, we speak as though children are the only people who have needs. Maybe it’s time we start reminding politicians and big business that people don’t simply become robots once they hit the magic age of 18, and start demanding better for ourselves. ---
**Author:** ![jlzania](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/67e7ee/32.png) [@jlzania](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jlzania)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2004, 4:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-employers-idea-of-maternity-leave/240003/93 "2004-04-16T16:12:04Z")
> [@](#): > > **Velma** - I agree that my child is my financial burden. Largely yes-your child is your financial responsibilty. However, my property taxes help fund the local schools despite the fact that I personally will never directly benefit, as I will never have a child in the school system. Is this unfair? Not in my book because I want the generations that follow me to be educated participants in our society. It’s a price I’m willing to pay. I also recognize that I will never benefit from any employer’s maternity leave benefits but that’s ok too as I also recognize the importance of stable families in our society. Everything doesn’t boil whether or not something directly benefits me,me,me. ---
**Author:** ![Hamadryad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/6de8d8/32.png) [@Hamadryad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hamadryad)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2004, 4:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-employers-idea-of-maternity-leave/240003/94 "2004-04-16T16:47:57Z")
> [@Velma](#): > > Can…open. Worms…everywhere. AAAAGHHH!!! **stuffstuffstuffstuff** > [@jarbabyj](#): > > The way some of you are talking, women come in and say “havin’ a baby, I’ll be gone friday!” THANK YOU. I wasn’t able to put my finger on what was bothering me so much about some of this, and that was it. > [@artemis](#): > > Why should some people, whose dependents just happen to be minors, get a special tax break that other people whose dependents happen to be adults don’t get? Why is taking care of a child more important than taking care of a disabled adult? Isn’t there some kind of tax break for people who are taking care of dependent family members over the age of 18? I don’t know, since I’ve never had to look for it (thank all that’s holy) but it doesn’t make sense, with the millions of other possible deductions out there, for there to NOT be a break for adult dependents. > [@jlzania](#): > > However, my property taxes help fund the local schools despite the fact that I personally will never directly benefit…I want the generations that follow me to be educated participants in our society. But that’s a direct benefit. It means that the people who are practicing law in 20 years, or wiring your new house in 10 years, or preparing your food, or doing your quadruple-bypass…will _have the education necessary to do so_. ---
**Author:** ![jlzania](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/67e7ee/32.png) [@jlzania](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jlzania)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2004, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-employers-idea-of-maternity-leave/240003/95 "2004-04-16T16:59:50Z")
> [@](#): > > **Hamadryad** …But that’s a direct benefit. It means that the people who are practicing law in 20 years, or wiring your new house in 10 years, or preparing your food, or doing your quadruple-bypass…will _have the education necessary to do so_. By direct benefit, I meant that I will never have a child in the system that I would be forced to pay to educate were public schools not free. However, I did qualify my statement by adding: > [@](#): > > …I want the generations that follow me to be educated participants in our society. It’s a price I’m willing to pay. ---
**Author:** ![Bruce\_Daddy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/85f322/32.png) [@Bruce\_Daddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bruce_Daddy)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2004, 5:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-employers-idea-of-maternity-leave/240003/96 "2004-04-16T17:19:32Z")
> [@Dangerosa](#): > > So you’ve never heard of accidents? My daughter was a surprise baby. > > Would be great if all children were planned, ain’t the way it happens in the real world. If a couple is having sex, the possibility of getting pregnant exists, not matter the procautions. Said couple should be ready for any “surprises”. > [@CrankyAsAnOldMan](#): > > I don’t understand how one would do this in practice, however. Read one way, I could take this to mean that when I had a baby, I should have told my employer “please don’t pay me–I know it’s your policy to do so, but I’ve planned financially and I don’t want to be a burden.” There is no way my employer would have complied. I am not sure they could have, legally. I am sure General Counsel would have had a conniption over it. Or does this mean I should not have had a baby at all, knowing my employer’s policy would burden others? Or should I have ignored medical advice and returned to work sooner? I’m not just asking cranky questions; I’m trying to feel my way around your meaning because I’m not sure what you meant. No no no. I think if your employeer pays you while you’re out, that’s super duper. Just like any other perk, Fridays off, 4 weeks vacation, maternity pay, whatever. If that’s the kind of setup a person can get, I’m all for it. > [@](#): > > Let me pose more questions that are relevant to me: Like some women end up with, I had a c-section which extended my leave by two weeks. The c-section wasn’t really voluntary. Do you think this changes the situation at all? I chose voluntarily to get pregnant (that was unchanged) but my recovery time changed involuntarily. In that situation, would your statement mean that I should get 8 weeks paid leave, or 2 weeks? What if my c-section wasn’t entirely involuntarily (I could have gone vaginally but chose to have the surgery). Should that change the leave? Nope, the leave should take as long as you, your doctor or your family sees fit. > [@Velma](#): > > Just interested - would you then support disability for someone with an unplanned pregnancy? How about to recover after an abortion or miscarriage? Or someone who had a child by rape? Is it only the ‘planned’ aspect that bothers you? Bottom line, regardless of the circumstances, no one should _expect_ to get paid for not working. It doesn’t make sense. Like I said above, if the contract you have with your employer provides you pay while you’re not working _for any reason_, good for you. > [@](#): > > I agree that my child is my financial burden. However, I’m not going to go to my employer and say, don’t give me that money, I don’t need it. While you’re at it, don’t pay me for my vacation either. Why should you pay me for hours not worked? I chose to go to Florida voluntarily. See above. If it’s worked out in your contract, super. Don’t expect more. ---
**Author:** ![catsix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e19b73/32.png) [@catsix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/catsix)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2004, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-employers-idea-of-maternity-leave/240003/97 "2004-04-16T17:33:44Z")
> [@](#): > > **jlzania** said: > So would I have been an equal jerk for leaving some of my work undone for that day because I needed to drive my father to a doctor’s appointment? > How about the time my horse got the snot kicked out of her and I needed to rush off to met the vet? You’d be a jerk if you expected your coworkers to stay late to finish it rather than making up for that on your own when you come back. > [@](#): > > **Hamadryad** said: > I’m also wondering if catsix is as incensed and infuriated by the credit parents get on their taxes…just for having children. That’s an odd thing to bring up. > [@](#): > > **artemis** said: > Why should some people, whose dependents just happen to be minors, get a special tax break that other people whose dependents happen to be adults don’t get? Why is taking care of a child more important than taking care of a disabled adult? At some point they seem to have decided that kids are all important and the disabled adults suck. ---
**Author:** ![Bruce\_Daddy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/85f322/32.png) [@Bruce\_Daddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bruce_Daddy)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2004, 5:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-employers-idea-of-maternity-leave/240003/98 "2004-04-16T17:43:09Z")
And **Velma** , to clarify, rape is an assault and should be treated as such. Rape is an extreme case with a new set of rules. After I read my response I noticed I didn’t address that properly. ---
**Author:** ![belladonna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/9fc29f/32.png) [@belladonna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/belladonna)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2004, 5:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-employers-idea-of-maternity-leave/240003/99 "2004-04-16T17:46:26Z")
Erm, excuse my ignorance here but I’m honestly curious… Don’t all disabled adults who are dependant on others receive SS benefits? Wouldn’t that equal out to the same idea as a tax cut? ---
**Author:** ![Velma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/85e7bf/32.png) [@Velma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Velma)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2004, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-employers-idea-of-maternity-leave/240003/100 "2004-04-16T17:53:51Z")
> [@Bruce\_Daddy](#): > > Bottom line, regardless of the circumstances, no one should _expect_ to get paid for not working. It doesn’t make sense. Like I said above, if the contract you have with your employer provides you pay while you’re not working _for any reason_, good for you. > > See above. If it’s worked out in your contract, super. Don’t expect more. Well, like I said, my problem was that there _was_ no contract. I didn’t \*expect \* anything until my boss told me what the policy was - this was part of a larger talk we had about when I was due, adjusting the position to a job share, etc. He said he had talked to HR and the president and gotten approval - I took that to mean about everything, but it is possible he only meant about the job share part. If so, he did not make that clear - he just said “I talked to HR and this is what they told me.” That is when I started expecting what he told me, and since 3 months had gone by until I heard anything different (and since the first time I had asked HR specifically what the policy was) I wasn’t expecting anything to change now. I don’t _expect_ benefits one way or the other when I start a job, but I think it’s in everyone’s best interest in the long run for good benefits packages in general. I’m all in favor for more flex time, more vacation, maternity leave, paternity leave, 401k / retirement plans, all of it. I think giving employees more choices and perks makes them more loyal, happy, and productive. I understand not all companies can afford to provide all this, but in general I think we’d all be better off if it was the norm. Re: the rape scenario. How would my employer ever know if I conceived because of rape? Surely they should not be allowed to ask how it happened to decide what kind of leave I qualified for. Me: I’m pregnant, what kind of leave is offered? HR: Well that depends, how did you get pregnant? Me: :eek: [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-employers-idea-of-maternity-leave/240003.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-employers-idea-of-maternity-leave/240003.md?page=6)