# My engagement dilemma **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [May 13, 2010, 3:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-engagement-dilemma/539307 "2010-05-13T15:54:40Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 12\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Tom\_Scud](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f08c70/32.png) [@Tom\_Scud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tom_Scud)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2010, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-engagement-dilemma/539307/41 "2010-05-17T20:40:42Z")
Congratulations. My wife actually proposed to me. Over google chat. After I’d (finally) gotten around to fixing our home network so we could both be online at the same time. We printed the chat transcript on the back of our wedding programs. ---
**Author:** ![Ike\_Witt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ike_witt/32/283_2.png) [@Ike\_Witt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ike_Witt)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2010, 9:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-engagement-dilemma/539307/42 "2010-05-17T21:28:32Z")
Great news! I’ll hoist one in a toast to you and your new fiance. Congratulations. ---
**Author:** ![MPB\_in\_Salt\_Lake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c0e974/32.png) [@MPB\_in\_Salt\_Lake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MPB_in_Salt_Lake)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2010, 9:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-engagement-dilemma/539307/43 "2010-05-17T21:50:31Z")
Sounds like you two are in for many, many happy years together…🙂 Matthew ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2010, 10:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-engagement-dilemma/539307/44 "2010-05-17T22:04:28Z")
Yay! Happy resolution. Now prepare yourself for the following statements, repeated ad nauseum: When’s the wedding? Can I see the ring? You don’t mind if I invite so-and-so do you? (Hint: They already invited so-and-so.) Don’t worry. It’s worth it. ---
**Author:** ![legalsnugs](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/45deac/32.png) [@legalsnugs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/legalsnugs)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2010, 6:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-engagement-dilemma/539307/45 "2010-05-18T06:52:35Z")
Congratulations and best wishes to you both! Now - details, please! Where did you take her? Did you end up at the base of the lighthouse? Where did you tell her you were going? Did you get on one knee? Did you pull out the ring first or after you’d asked? What did she do? Was it as romantic as you’d hoped it would be (I think I know the answer to this one). Did the bugs give you a problem (I hope not!) Sheesh - you men just don’t have the important-details-reporting-gene, do you? My husband was on the phone to his best friend for an hour after said friend’s twins were born. When he hung up, I asked, “How is his wife? How long was the labor? Regular delivery or C-Section? How much did the twins weigh? Do they have hair?” His response: “I don’t know, We didn’t talk about that stuff.” :rolleyes: C’mon, Phil - spill! We want to have a vicarious romantic moment! ---
**Author:** ![Lunchy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Lunchy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lunchy)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2010, 9:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-engagement-dilemma/539307/46 "2010-05-18T09:34:22Z")
> [@olivesmarch4th](#): > > Ha, quoted for truth! On our first trip to the arboretum together, my husband gazed into my eyes and said, ‘‘You’re so beautiful.’’ > > I replied, ‘‘You have a dead bug in your teeth.’’ > > Alas, it was true. That made my guts hurt… ---
**Author:** ![nicole1912](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/9de0a6/32.png) [@nicole1912](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nicole1912)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2010, 9:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-engagement-dilemma/539307/47 "2010-05-18T09:51:18Z")
Congratulations **Philster** - I wish you both much happiness together! (And I, too, want to hear the details! I’m nosy like that…) ---
**Author:** ![Philster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/13edae/32.png) [@Philster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Philster)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2010, 3:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-engagement-dilemma/539307/48 "2010-05-18T15:37:13Z")
The ring is a 1.1 carat, elongated brilliant marquise, set in white gold, with two .25 carat brilliant round diamonds in a bezel setting. The marquise diamond is ‘near colorless’ and almost flawless. The side diamonds are even more colorless and almost flawless. I don’t have my chart, but after the stones were set I could not believe I picked diamonds that colorless. I swear, my normal instinct would have been to go a little bigger on the marquise and offset the cost by having it only mid-range in clarity. I just liked that diamond for a reason. After I pick it, the jeweler matched the round ones to it (for clarity and color). I absolutely went bonkers trying to take a picture, and it just looks like a white light, and I have a pretty good photography background. It’s that clear. I have a jeweler connection, so that helped a lot. It was all very romantic. Dinner was charming. We walked. We talked. We were near our favorite places. Stars were brilliant. Surf was perfect. Air temp perfect. Air was still. I am trying to tap into my Venus side here… Okay, okay… what she really loved about the whole experience was that I put myself under pressure to not do this in the summer. She is an admissions and guidance director at a prep school, and her school year ends next week. Her senior students have known her since they were little tykes and are about to head off to Duke, Cornell, Stanford, etc; and her coworkers are wonderful people (like family). They all love her so much, it would be absolutely criminal to not let them all enjoy this experience. . ---
**Author:** ![norinew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/eb9ed0/32.png) [@norinew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/norinew)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2010, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-engagement-dilemma/539307/49 "2010-05-18T20:47:50Z")
> [@Philster](#): > > The ring is a 1.1 carat, elongated brilliant marquise, set in white gold, with two .25 carat brilliant round diamonds in a bezel setting. The marquise diamond is ‘near colorless’ and almost flawless. The side diamonds are even more colorless and almost flawless. I don’t have my chart, but after the stones were set I could not believe I picked diamonds that colorless. I swear, my normal instinct would have been to go a little bigger on the marquise and offset the cost by having it only mid-range in clarity. I just liked that diamond for a reason. After I pick it, the jeweler matched the round ones to it (for clarity and color). > > I absolutely went bonkers trying to take a picture, and it just looks like a white light, and I have a pretty good photography background. It’s that clear. > > I have a jeweler connection, so that helped a lot. > > It was all very romantic. Dinner was charming. We walked. We talked. We were near our favorite places. Stars were brilliant. Surf was perfect. Air temp perfect. Air was still. > I am trying to tap into my Venus side here… > > Okay, okay… what she really loved about the whole experience was that I put myself under pressure to not do this in the summer. She is an admissions and guidance director at a prep school, and her school year ends next week. Her senior students have known her since they were little tykes and are about to head off to Duke, Cornell, Stanford, etc; and her coworkers are wonderful people (like family). They all love her so much, it would be absolutely criminal to not let them all enjoy this experience. > > . Yay for details! Thanks! And while I myself am not a big fan of the marquise cut of stone, if _she’s_ happy with it, that’s what really matters! ---
**Author:** ![kayT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayt/32/3633_2.png) [@kayT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayT)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2010, 5:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-engagement-dilemma/539307/50 "2010-05-20T05:49:36Z")
Your remarks about her students reminded me: when I was in 1st grade my teacher got married and she invited all of us to the wedding! It was wonderful! My whole class was girls (8 of us IIRC) and we were awestruck! (Her name was Miss Black and after she was married it was Mrs. White. Heh.) So, good on you for letting her firends and students enjoy this too. ---
**Author:** ![Eva\_Luna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e495f1/32.png) [@Eva\_Luna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eva_Luna)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2010, 3:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-engagement-dilemma/539307/51 "2010-05-20T15:07:59Z")
> [@Tom\_Scud](#): > > Congratulations. My wife actually proposed to me. Over google chat. After I’d (finally) gotten around to fixing our home network so we could both be online at the same time. > > We printed the chat transcript on the back of our wedding programs. I should elaborate that I proposed on Google Chat _while he was sitting right next to me._ How’s that for geeky? ---
**Author:** ![Philster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/13edae/32.png) [@Philster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Philster)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2010, 7:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-engagement-dilemma/539307/52 "2010-05-20T19:07:04Z")
That’s Geeky with a capital G. And that was redundant. How’s that for geeky? 🙂 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-engagement-dilemma/539307.md?page=2)