# My entire family thinks I'm worthless now **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 30, 2009, 3:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-entire-family-thinks-im-worthless-now/523010 "2009-12-30T03:57:20Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 11\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Rigamarole](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/77aa72/32.png) [@Rigamarole](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rigamarole)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2009, 5:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-entire-family-thinks-im-worthless-now/523010/21 "2009-12-30T05:33:17Z")
You have self-esteem issues. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2009, 5:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-entire-family-thinks-im-worthless-now/523010/22 "2009-12-30T05:45:44Z")
> [@HazelNutCoffee](#): > > Well as **Eonwe** already pointed out, you’re the one who made it into a big deal. You could have just said, “No, I don’t have a girlfriend, I haven’t found anyone I like enough yet” or something equally neutral of that sort. There’s no need to engage with nosy or otherwise unpleasant relatives. Ain’t that the truth. Well, you still have to be polite to them, but beyond that, just be cordial and mouth empty pleasantries and get on with your life. ---
**Author:** ![DiosaBellissima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a8b319/32.png) [@DiosaBellissima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DiosaBellissima)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2009, 6:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-entire-family-thinks-im-worthless-now/523010/23 "2009-12-30T06:05:50Z")
> [@mookieblaylock](#): > > Ugh. It’s not that I give a damn what my family thinks. My grandmother’s a batshit crazy bitch (I know that sounds insensitive, but this is a woman who will call my dad at work and curse him out for all his co-workers to hear. When my dad’s father committed suicide, she made him and his brothers all look at the body with the bullet wound still fresh in his skull. She’s nuts) and my uncles are all fat old worthless drunks. I just don’t like to disappoint my dad, and when he acts that way over something like a lack of romance it makes me feel pretty shitty. All people who have had at least somewhat fulfilling relationships with other people throughout their lives, so, I don’t know if you’re in any position to be casting stones, kid. Maybe your problem is this cynical attitude you have toward everyone- this person’s batshit and that person’s a fat worthless fuck. Try seeing the good in people and they will see the good in you. I ---
**Author:** ![Crowbar\_of\_Irony\_3](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f08c70/32.png) [@Crowbar\_of\_Irony\_3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crowbar_of_Irony_3)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2009, 6:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-entire-family-thinks-im-worthless-now/523010/24 "2009-12-30T06:16:26Z")
One thing I found that cause the spiral of emo-ness is to make things sound worst than they are. Generalizations are usual one condition of that. For example, the OP said, “_No_ female…” and the title “My _entire_ family…” Don’t worry, I was 22 at that time too. It is annoying. You won’t know how annoying it is until someone else starts to nag at you in about the same vein and you are losing friends. It’s just another form of nagging, really. Just not to think in black and white and generalized stuff. Instead of “No female would have anything with me” (which is meldodramatic), why not “I am still looking”? By making things to sound just a notch better the negative self thoughts can be challenged and eventually managed. And you avoid less disrupting and upsetting drama in your life. Yah yah, physician save thyself…I’m an emo-kid too… ---
**Author:** ![Trepa\_Mayfield](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/edb3f5/32.png) [@Trepa\_Mayfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trepa_Mayfield)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2009, 6:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-entire-family-thinks-im-worthless-now/523010/25 "2009-12-30T06:20:56Z")
> [@mookieblaylock](#): > > Ugh. It’s not that I give a damn what my family thinks. My grandmother’s a batshit crazy bitch (I know that sounds insensitive, but this is a woman who will call my dad at work and curse him out for all his co-workers to hear. When my dad’s father committed suicide, she made him and his brothers all look at the body with the bullet wound still fresh in his skull. She’s nuts) and my uncles are all fat old worthless drunks. I just don’t like to disappoint my dad, and when he acts that way over something like a lack of romance it makes me feel pretty shitty. I don’t normally do this, but… {{{mookieblaylock}}} ---
**Author:** ![manila](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e5b9ba/32.png) [@manila](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/manila)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2009, 6:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-entire-family-thinks-im-worthless-now/523010/26 "2009-12-30T06:30:51Z")
Hey don’t feel so bad about yourself now. Wait till you get a girlfriend, she will be able to do that with a style you can only dream about! Seriously though advance happy new year! ---
**Author:** ![EvilTOJ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee59a6/32.png) [@EvilTOJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EvilTOJ)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2009, 7:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-entire-family-thinks-im-worthless-now/523010/27 "2009-12-30T07:14:07Z")
I’m reading these posts, and I can’t help but hear Marvin the Paranoid Android. ---
**Author:** ![sandra\_nz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/eada6e/32.png) [@sandra\_nz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sandra_nz)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2009, 11:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-entire-family-thinks-im-worthless-now/523010/28 "2009-12-30T11:44:58Z")
> [@mookieblaylock](#): > > We had a family reunion today. My grandmother asked me if I had a girlfriend. I scoffed and said no. She asked why I put it like that, and I replied “because the notion of any girl wanting anything to do with me is laughable.” If you define yourself as a loser, act like a loser, people will think you’re a loser and you will become a loser. But note how that starts with you, not other people’s assessments of you. This whole thing might have played out quite differently if you’re original response had been something like, “No, I don’t have a girlfriend at the moment, Grandma. Can I get you something to drink? Eat?” ---
**Author:** ![dnooman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/839c29/32.png) [@dnooman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dnooman)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2009, 12:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-entire-family-thinks-im-worthless-now/523010/29 "2009-12-30T12:34:13Z")
This again? Unfortunately, these helpful comments are falling on deaf ears. ---
**Author:** ![don\_t\_ask](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@don\_t\_ask](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_t_ask)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2009, 12:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-entire-family-thinks-im-worthless-now/523010/30 "2009-12-30T12:43:38Z")
Unfortunately the thread title instantly made me think of Connie Francis: Who’s worthless now? Who’s worthless now? ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2009, 1:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-entire-family-thinks-im-worthless-now/523010/31 "2009-12-30T13:02:39Z")
**mookie** , your last thread like this didn’t go well, so I locked it; this one isn’t going well, so I’m going to lock it also. Just as the Dope isn’t a good source of help for medical and legal advice, it’s not a good source for psychological advice _when the OP makes it clear that he or she is resolutely ignoring all feedback and advice given_. **mookie** , as someone who’s struggled with depression most of her life, I have a great deal of empathy for you, and hope that you find the help that you seem to need. The SDMB is not, and cannot be, the source of that help. Talk to your therapist, and follow his or her recommendations for the changes you need to make in your thinking and behavior. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-entire-family-thinks-im-worthless-now/523010.md?page=1)