# My Ex has my daughter and won't let me see her!!! **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [April 12, 2011, 12:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-ex-has-my-daughter-and-wont-let-me-see-her/578028 "2011-04-12T00:24:53Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 5\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![Starving\_Artist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/aeb1de/32.png) [@Starving\_Artist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Starving_Artist)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2011, 8:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-ex-has-my-daughter-and-wont-let-me-see-her/578028/101 "2011-04-14T20:20:39Z")
> [@Eonwe](#): > > **Starving Artist** , are you for real? One example of one family’s reaction to events on which we are not totally clear, and it’s a referendum both on EVIL PLANNED PARENTHOOD and helicopter parents, and the modern liberal age? > > Take it to the pit, or step off. This hijack is pathetic. You died and made you mod? The post was entirely appropriate and on topic. Kids in this country are virtually being encouraged to engage in sex by what they’re shown and taught at school and what they see and hear through virtually every social media. And then, perplexingly, adults go ballistic when a curious 12-year-old touches a girl’s chest and everyone regards him as some sort of perverted predator and his actions justify tearing a family apart and very possibly traumatizing and screwing up the kids for life. This is a totally hosed up reaction to a very minor offense, one which should have brought little more than a mature, understanding talking to. ---
**Author:** ![Kalypso](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/df705f/32.png) [@Kalypso](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalypso)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2011, 11:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-ex-has-my-daughter-and-wont-let-me-see-her/578028/102 "2011-04-14T23:14:30Z")
As much as I think much of Starving Artist’s rant is wrong, I agree that if the offense really was so minor, the correct thing to do is to talk to the kids about how serious the issue of touching between siblings or unwanted sexual touching is. It’s unfortunate that it got blown so far out of proportion. I got caught playing sexual curiosity games when I was a kid with my same-age cousin a few times, and our patents got mad and punished us, but to say one of us assaulted the other was ludicrous. Also, when I was in 7th grade another boy caught me alone in the hall and grabbed my tit. I smacked him for it, and that was that. Neither one of us thought about making a big deal over assault. ---
**Author:** ![Meatros](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Meatros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Meatros)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2011, 12:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-ex-has-my-daughter-and-wont-let-me-see-her/578028/103 "2011-04-15T12:22:10Z")
> [@Starving\_Artist](#): > > You died and made you mod? The post was entirely appropriate and on topic. No, it wasn’t. The first half of is was an attempt to derail so you could yammer on about what you view are the ‘ills of this world’. > [@Starving\_Artist](#): > > Kids in this country are virtually being encouraged to engage in sex by what they’re shown and taught at school and what they see and hear through virtually every social media. If I rolled my eyes any harder I think I’d dislodge them. We have no idea what sort of environment the OP is raising their children in. Perhaps there are no TVs or the OP monitors the TVs. Again, this is off topic and not germane to the discussion. > [@Starving\_Artist](#): > > And then, perplexingly, adults go ballistic when a curious 12-year-old touches a girl’s chest and everyone regards him as some sort of perverted predator and his actions justify tearing a family apart and very possibly traumatizing and screwing up the kids for life. That’s not what is happening here. Many posters are having doubts about the OPs story because of the drastic measures the OP took in response to the inappropriate touch. Further, I would wager that because of the unclear nature of what has occurred most people are targeting the OP’s dishonesty with her husband as the wrong committed. You don’t know if it was a ‘curious’ touch, you don’t seem to have paid attention to what has been discussed. My guess is that you gave the OP a cursory glance and decided you could bring up your spiel about how society is corrupt and falling into madness. The same complaint that has been leveled by since Socrates’ day, btw. The ‘corruption of the youth’. > [@Starving\_Artist](#): > > This is a totally hosed up reaction to a very minor offense, one which should have brought little more than a mature, understanding talking to. It is this reaction that has set off a lot of Doper’s internal alarm, which has been an on going discussion. Have you actually read the majority of the posts in this thread? If you want to talk about the corruption of the youth, start a pit thread. ---
**Author:** ![Meatros](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Meatros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Meatros)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2011, 12:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-ex-has-my-daughter-and-wont-let-me-see-her/578028/104 "2011-04-15T12:31:15Z")
> [@Kalypso](#): > > As much as I think much of Starving Artist’s rant is wrong, I agree that if the offense really was so minor, the correct thing to do is to talk to the kids about how serious the issue of touching between siblings or unwanted sexual touching is. It’s unfortunate that it got blown so far out of proportion. If the offense truly was ‘brushing the kids boobs’, I agree with Manda JO has said in this regard. > [@Kalypso](#): > > I got caught playing sexual curiosity games when I was a kid with my same-age cousin a few times, and our patents got mad and punished us, but to say one of us assaulted the other was ludicrous. The two of you presumably were both engaging in the games. I’m not sure that they were in the OP’s case. > [@Kalypso](#): > > Also, when I was in 7th grade another boy caught me alone in the hall and grabbed my tit. I smacked him for it, and that was that. Neither one of us thought about making a big deal over assault. You might not have seen it as a big deal, but I certainly could see how it would be problematic for an incident as you describe to have happened if you lived in the same house as that 7th grade boy. Then again, it might not be. The daughter seems to have been shaken by the encounter. I don’t know the full story and what has been presented has raised some questions in my mind. As I said, I have a son and a daughter and I don’t know what I would do in a similar situation. I hope to never be in such a situation. That said, I am quite certain that the father should have been told - of that much I am sure, especially considering the circumstances (they are divorced). ---
**Author:** ![bengangmo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/50afbb/32.png) [@bengangmo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bengangmo)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2011, 1:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-ex-has-my-daughter-and-wont-let-me-see-her/578028/105 "2011-04-19T01:57:36Z")
Just a quick bump to see if there are any further updates from the OP? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-ex-has-my-daughter-and-wont-let-me-see-her/578028.md?page=5)