# My ex is in town...should I meet him? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [August 21, 2001, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-ex-is-in-town-should-i-meet-him/77413 "2001-08-21T20:21:19Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 10\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Pammipoo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/87869e/32.png) [@Pammipoo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pammipoo)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2001, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-ex-is-in-town-should-i-meet-him/77413/1 "2001-08-21T20:21:19Z")
An ex-boyfriend of mine from about 3 years ago is in town for the week. We went out when I first moved up here, but we lived about 45 minutes away and neither of us had a car at the time, so getting together was a pain in the ass. We broke up, but stayed friends. We’ve talked online at least once a week since then. He moved to California, and got engaged. We’ve still been close. He’s back in Boston until Saturday morning. He wants to get together and hang out. His fiance broke off the engagement. If we meet, we’ll end up having sex. It’s tradition. I told Rashad I was meeting him tomorrow probably after I get out of work, and he flipped. “Let be past stay in the past Pam…he’s out of your life finally, keep it that way.” So, what do you think I should do? Meet him at South Station of 8 pm, or go home and sleep? Decisions… ---
**Author:** ![ultress](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/7c8e57/32.png) [@ultress](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ultress)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2001, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-ex-is-in-town-should-i-meet-him/77413/2 "2001-08-21T21:12:55Z")
Well you have to ask yourself, do I want sex or not? ---
**Author:** ![StephenG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/7feea3/32.png) [@StephenG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StephenG)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2001, 10:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-ex-is-in-town-should-i-meet-him/77413/3 "2001-08-21T22:14:12Z")
And more importantly, do I want sex _with him_ or not? [sub]Important Disclaimer: This post has nothing to do with my relationship, present or future (or lack thereof), to the OP. I’d say the same thing to any of my friends, or anybody. [/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Sofa\_King](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/58956e/32.png) [@Sofa\_King](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sofa_King)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2001, 10:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-ex-is-in-town-should-i-meet-him/77413/4 "2001-08-21T22:16:09Z")
Life is short. Do him. ---
**Author:** ![ladyfoxfyre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ad7895/32.png) [@ladyfoxfyre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ladyfoxfyre)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2001, 12:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-ex-is-in-town-should-i-meet-him/77413/5 "2001-08-22T00:06:11Z")
I’m with Sofa. ---
**Author:** ![glee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b5a626/32.png) [@glee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/glee)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2001, 12:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-ex-is-in-town-should-i-meet-him/77413/6 "2001-08-22T00:52:54Z")
What is your relationship with Rashad? How much will it matter to him if you have sex with this guy? ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2001, 4:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-ex-is-in-town-should-i-meet-him/77413/7 "2001-08-22T04:47:00Z")
First ask yourself this very important question. Was he any good in bed? Then decide if you want to see him again. ---
**Author:** ![Cosmopolitan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/94ad74/32.png) [@Cosmopolitan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cosmopolitan)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2001, 5:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-ex-is-in-town-should-i-meet-him/77413/8 "2001-08-22T05:36:43Z")
Depends on some stuff I don’t know about you. Number one: Is Rashad your boyfriend? Are you in a committed relationship at all, actually? Number two: Are you the type of person who is emotionally capable of having “fuckbuddy”/“Same Time Next Year” status, as opposed to “S.O.” status? If you’re single and can handle the aftermath, go have fun. If you’re attached or hesitant in any way, don’t do it. ---
**Author:** ![Pammipoo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/87869e/32.png) [@Pammipoo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pammipoo)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2001, 8:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-ex-is-in-town-should-i-meet-him/77413/9 "2001-08-22T08:53:50Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Cosmopolitan \* > \*\*Depends on some stuff I don’t know about you. Number one: Is Rashad your boyfriend? Are you in a committed relationship at all, actually? Number two: Are you the type of person who is emotionally capable of having “fuckbuddy”/“Same Time Next Year” status, as opposed to “S.O.” status? If you’re single and can handle the aftermath, go have fun. If you’re attached or hesitant in any way, don’t do it. \*\* Rashad’s my best friend in the whole wide world, who lives about 2000 miles away. We’ve hooked up before, and if we were in the same city, would do it again. I’m not in any relationship at all right now, unless you want ot count the creepy gas station guy who thinks we’re together, but I’m seriously thinking about getting a restraining order on him, so I would go with no… And as for the fuckbuddy part, most of my previous relationships have been along those lines. The last time I had a serious commitment, I was 15. Pretty sad huh? ---
**Author:** ![glee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b5a626/32.png) [@glee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/glee)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2001, 12:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-ex-is-in-town-should-i-meet-him/77413/10 "2001-08-22T12:28:31Z")
It is better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all. It is better to have an offer of sex, than never to be offered it. (apart from the gas station guy - but at least that proves you’re good-looking).