# My ex was so dumb they thought **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [December 14, 2020, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-ex-was-so-dumb-they-thought/928047 "2020-12-14T20:16:19Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Sitnam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Sitnam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sitnam)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2020, 1:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-ex-was-so-dumb-they-thought/928047/41 "2020-12-16T01:45:29Z")
> [@JaneDoe42](#): > > > [@Spice\_Weasel](#): > > > > He lied about so many things, and yes, some were to impress me, but he also lied about things that didn’t matter. > > I used to have a friend who dated strippers. He said they were really hot as long as you remembered they were all crazy and would lie even if it didn’t matter. > > Before I met hubs, I used to date bodybuilders. Besides their physical assets, one of the best things about them was for the most part, they were too stupid to lie. I’m serious, I caught one of them in bed with my sister and demanded to know what and why it had happened and the best he could come up with was “I don’t know, sex just seems to happen to me.” He was good in bed and my sister kept him for a few months before he got lost in the winds. > > A different one was with me when I bought some clear crystal salt and pepper shakers. He looked at the lids and wondered how we were going to be able to tell the shakers apart because the lids didn’t have S or P on them. He was good in bed and nice to my cats. > > Another one seemed to understand that 4 quarters made a dollar, but couldn’t ever understand that 4 quarts made a gallon. Poor guy didn’t get it even after I showed him by using a quart container to fill a gallon container. I’ll bet he’s still measuring out 4 quarts to get a gallon to this day, but he was hawt, good in bed and nice to my cats. > > Another time, I showed up at my boyfriends’ apartment to see one of them holding the other one out of a third story window (over concrete walkways and parking lot) by his ankles so he could tack down cables that had been blowing against the walls and making a racket. Neither of them seemed to understand why I was so upset over that. They were good in bed and nice to my cats. > > Things were different pre-AIDS. I kinda wonder how things will be post-COVID. You don’t look too sharp either, honey. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2020, 1:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-ex-was-so-dumb-they-thought/928047/42 "2020-12-16T01:48:00Z")
> [@puzzlegal](#): > > And yes, a potential partner has to be nice to cats. One of my exes and I were discussing the possibility of getting a place together. I had two cats at the time, and at one point he said, “Of course you’ll be getting rid of the cats.” It was at that moment that he became an “ex”. ---
**Author:** ![JaneDoe42](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/janedoe42/32/14104_2.png) [@JaneDoe42](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JaneDoe42)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2020, 2:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-ex-was-so-dumb-they-thought/928047/43 "2020-12-16T02:06:46Z")
> [@puzzlegal](#): > > I’ve always been attracted to intelligent men, but this is a fun thread. And yes, a potential partner has to be nice to cats. I didn’t want to _talk_ to them fer crying out loud! When hubs and I were discussing moving in together, we agreed that I wouldn’t give up my place for a month or so just to be sure that our cats got along. It was understood that if the cats refused to get along, we just weren’t meant to be. @panache45 A friend of hubs once had a nasty break-up with a girl because he demanded she give up her cats and she agreed to do it only after he sold his beloved motorcycle. I don’t think he ever understood that she was asking him to do the same thing he was asking her to do. ---
**Author:** ![JaneDoe42](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/janedoe42/32/14104_2.png) [@JaneDoe42](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JaneDoe42)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2020, 2:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-ex-was-so-dumb-they-thought/928047/44 "2020-12-16T02:34:20Z")
> [@Sitnam](#): > > You don’t look too sharp either, honey. I’m guessing you identify as male don’t you, sweetie? ---
**Author:** ![Superdude](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/superdude/32/13450_2.png) [@Superdude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superdude)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2020, 3:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-ex-was-so-dumb-they-thought/928047/45 "2020-12-16T03:31:36Z")
Possibly post-coitus. He doesn’t seem to have a head on his shoulders. ---
**Author:** ![Sitnam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Sitnam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sitnam)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2020, 5:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-ex-was-so-dumb-they-thought/928047/46 "2020-12-16T05:07:49Z")
> [@JaneDoe42](#): > > > [@Sitnam](#): > > > > You don’t look too sharp either, honey. > > I’m guessing you identify as male don’t you, sweetie? Irrelevant. Your drama doesn’t make you shine here at all. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2020, 5:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-ex-was-so-dumb-they-thought/928047/47 "2020-12-16T05:17:12Z")
One might draw a similar conclusion about your buzzkill posts to the thread. To me it looks like people are having fun and a few sardonic laughs at their own expense. Don’t see any additional fun being generated by you slagging on folks. ---
**Author:** ![Capn\_Carl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/838e76/32.png) [@Capn\_Carl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Capn_Carl)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2020, 7:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-ex-was-so-dumb-they-thought/928047/48 "2020-12-16T07:13:33Z")
Yeah, this thread has been fun, and the best posts have been those of JaneDoe42. ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2020, 7:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-ex-was-so-dumb-they-thought/928047/49 "2020-12-16T07:31:28Z")
> [@JaneDoe42](#): > > He almost went catatonic when I pointed out that _he_ had nipples and he was a boy. We both took our shirts off to look at nipples and suddenly he was all better. You sure it wasn’t a ploy to get you to do just that? ---
**Author:** ![asahi](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asahi/32/8693_2.png) [@asahi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/asahi)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2020, 2:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-ex-was-so-dumb-they-thought/928047/50 "2020-12-16T14:03:42Z")
That really is a line for the ages, I gotta say. Sorry it came it JaneDoe42’s expense. ---
**Author:** ![asahi](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asahi/32/8693_2.png) [@asahi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/asahi)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2020, 2:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-ex-was-so-dumb-they-thought/928047/51 "2020-12-16T14:07:12Z")
Yeah but her shine or lack thereof is immaterial; she entertained us at least, and she zinged you good to boot. ---
**Author:** ![Buck\_Godot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/buck_godot/32/6573_2.png) [@Buck\_Godot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Buck_Godot)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2020, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-ex-was-so-dumb-they-thought/928047/52 "2020-12-16T18:49:20Z")
Minus the hottness this sounds exactly like my wife’s ex. A very sick abusive mother fucker. Claimed that he got into Harvard (but coldn’t afford the tuition) but spelled used as “yoused”. ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2020, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-ex-was-so-dumb-they-thought/928047/53 "2020-12-16T19:55:02Z")
Woo Hoo! Two more chances to post! ---
**Author:** ![Mama\_Zappa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/71e660/32.png) [@Mama\_Zappa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mama_Zappa)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2020, 12:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-ex-was-so-dumb-they-thought/928047/54 "2020-12-17T00:28:15Z")
When we were in college in North Carolina, my now-husband’s brother came for a visit (from New Jersey). He (brother) told his girlfriend that he was coming to North Carolina. She said “Oh really? What time zone is that?”. Yeah, they didn’t last. ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2020, 12:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-ex-was-so-dumb-they-thought/928047/55 "2020-12-17T00:41:22Z")
> [@Buck\_Godot](#): > > Minus the hottness this sounds exactly like my wife’s ex. A very sick abusive mother fucker. Incidentally, I broke it off after he got abusive. I was lucky to know the red flags and bailed out immediately. ---
**Author:** ![wolfman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/a8b319/32.png) [@wolfman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfman)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2020, 3:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-ex-was-so-dumb-they-thought/928047/56 "2020-12-17T03:28:37Z")
Michigan has it too. I have done it like 3 times ever(situation really doesn’t come up very often) and have never seen anybody else do it… ---
**Author:** ![F.U.Shakespeare](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/aca169/32.png) [@F.U.Shakespeare](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/F.U.Shakespeare)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2020, 11:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-ex-was-so-dumb-they-thought/928047/57 "2020-12-17T11:35:21Z")
I once dated a girl named Brenda who lived in a small town a few miles away. One Saturday, my band had a gig, and we made plans for Brenda to come along. Since I had to drive to the gig and set up, my buddy Mike would go get Brenda (and a friend of hers who’d be Mike’s date). Brenda said she’d be waiting in front of a bar called Augie’s. Mike drove to the town. There were half a dozen bars (and there couldn’t have been more than a few hundred people in the town) but none were named Augie’s. Finally Mike noticed a girl answering to Brenda’s description standing in front of a bar with a sign that read “Earle’s”. He walked up and asked her if she were Brenda. She said yes. Mike said, “I thought you were going to be waiting in front of Augie’s?” Brenda said, “This is Augie’s”. Mike looked up at the sign. “It says Earle’s”. Brenda replied, “Yeah. That’s Augie’s” ---
**Author:** ![Ruken](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f475e1/32.png) [@Ruken](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ruken)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2020, 2:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-ex-was-so-dumb-they-thought/928047/58 "2020-12-17T14:14:10Z")
> [@F.U.Shakespeare](#): > > Mike looked up at the sign. “It says Earle’s”. > > Brenda replied, “Yeah. That’s Augie’s” I’ve certainly encountered places that went by a different name than the sign. The now-closed “Sarge’s” in Charlottesville was actually named The Tavern. But expecting anyone from out of town to know that. . . . ---
**Author:** ![F.U.Shakespeare](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/aca169/32.png) [@F.U.Shakespeare](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/F.U.Shakespeare)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2020, 6:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-ex-was-so-dumb-they-thought/928047/59 "2020-12-17T18:34:50Z")
Having grown up in a town almost as small as Brenda’s, I remember there being basic facts everyone was expected to know: taxes are due April 15; the speed of sound is 343 m/s; Augie’s is Earle’s. ---
**Author:** ![Tristan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tristan/32/18058_2.png) [@Tristan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tristan)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2020, 9:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-ex-was-so-dumb-they-thought/928047/60 "2020-12-17T21:45:45Z")
My senior year of high school I started dating a girl. She was kinda cute, but dumb. I was a nerdy guy before it was cool, so I was just happy to have someone that wanted to kiss me and other things of that nature. I graduated, and moved from Northern California to Montana. She tagged along. Two instances really drove home the dumb though: 1- After being astonished that it seemed hot in the summer, she figured it out! Because we were at a higher elevation, we were closer to the Sun so it just felt hotter. 2- After losing a few pounds, she was puzzled how that could have been. I tried to explain that we weren’t necessarily eating big meals like she had been used to. Which couldn’t possibly be it, it turns out that it was (again) due to that higher elevation. Gravity pulled on her less, so… Yeah, she was kinda cute, and fucked like a house on fire, but in the end it was not meant to be. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-ex-was-so-dumb-they-thought/928047.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-ex-was-so-dumb-they-thought/928047.md?page=4)