# My ex was so dumb they thought **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [December 14, 2020, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-ex-was-so-dumb-they-thought/928047 "2020-12-14T20:16:19Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![purplehorseshoe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/purplehorseshoe/32/2996_2.png) [@purplehorseshoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purplehorseshoe)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2020, 1:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-ex-was-so-dumb-they-thought/928047/61 "2020-12-18T01:32:01Z")
> [@JaneDoe42](#): > > He almost went catatonic when I pointed out that _he_ had nipples and he was a boy. We both took our shirts off to look at nipples and suddenly he was all better. I’m _still_ laughing at this one. ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2020, 2:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-ex-was-so-dumb-they-thought/928047/62 "2020-12-18T02:20:45Z")
> [@Dr.Girlfriend](#): > > My grown-ass man ex-husband asked me once if Christmas was on December 25th every year and then got mad at me when I snickered. My husband is highly intelligent and sometimes I get a bug up my ass about him being better at everything. I remember one particularly insecure week I was brooding about what I perceived as his superior abilities, and he was in the kitchen. He turned to me with a potato in hand and said, “Okay, how do I do this?” I felt better. But not quite as good as the time he complained to me his potatoes were not mashing properly _because he hadn’t cooked them first._ Or the time I blew his mind by telling him a covered pot boils faster than an uncovered pot because it traps heat. Yes, I do all the cooking. ---
**Author:** ![JaneDoe42](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/janedoe42/32/14104_2.png) [@JaneDoe42](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JaneDoe42)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2020, 3:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-ex-was-so-dumb-they-thought/928047/63 "2020-12-18T03:55:07Z")
> [@Spice\_Weasel](#): > > My husband is highly intelligent and sometimes I get a bug up my ass about him being better at everything. I remember one particularly insecure week I was brooding about what I perceived as his superior abilities, and he was in the kitchen. He turned to me with a potato in hand and said, “Okay, how do I do this?” I sure do wish you would stop doing this to yourself. You are a good person, a great mother and you know how to spell and use punctuation. But to go back to laughing at our beloved dumdums, my really smart hubs is in charge of purchasing appliances that meet my specifications. Last year, we bought a new front loading washing machine and had it delivered and hooked up. A few weeks ago, mom told hubs that she needed to do some laundry. Hubs told her that the washer was probably in the laundry nook, but maybe it was in the hobby room. Then he found me to ask where we keep the clothes washing machine now. Yeah, he still ticks all the boxes. Good to look at, nice to our cats and my mom, fun in bed and sometimes dumb as a box of rocks. Over 30 years without killing each other, I think we are doing OK. ---
**Author:** ![JaneDoe42](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/janedoe42/32/14104_2.png) [@JaneDoe42](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JaneDoe42)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2020, 3:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-ex-was-so-dumb-they-thought/928047/64 "2020-12-18T03:56:33Z")
> [@Tristan](#): > > Yeah, she was kinda cute, and fucked like a house on fire, but in the end it was not meant to be. Yeah, that’s what we are talking about right there!!! ---
**Author:** ![tripthicket](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripthicket/32/297_2.png) [@tripthicket](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tripthicket)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2020, 7:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-ex-was-so-dumb-they-thought/928047/65 "2020-12-18T07:07:53Z")
> [@Tristan](#): > > …fucked like a house on fire… I am now _dying_ to somehow work this into a conversation. Further, I’m curious as to specifics, but it’s probably better left to my imagination. Most sex is like that, I believe. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2020, 8:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-ex-was-so-dumb-they-thought/928047/66 "2020-12-18T08:33:23Z")
> [@Spice\_Weasel](#): > > …the time he complained to me his potatoes were not mashing properly _because he hadn’t cooked them first._ When my brother was a teenager, he made raw potato salad for a family picnic. It went undiscovered until we all tried to eat it. ---
**Author:** ![Jeff\_Lichtman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jeff_lichtman/32/1531_2.png) [@Jeff\_Lichtman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jeff_Lichtman)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2020, 8:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-ex-was-so-dumb-they-thought/928047/67 "2020-12-18T08:46:13Z")
> [@panache45](#): > > When my brother was a teenager, he made raw potato salad for a family picnic. It went undiscovered until we all tried to eat it. You don’t cook the lettuce when making a Caesar salad, right? So then why should you cook the potatoes when making a potato salad? ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2020, 1:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-ex-was-so-dumb-they-thought/928047/68 "2020-12-18T13:55:14Z")
> [@Jeff\_Lichtman](#): > > You don’t cook the lettuce when making a Caesar salad, right? So then why should you cook the potatoes when making a potato salad? Please remind me never to eat chicken salad you have made. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2020, 9:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-ex-was-so-dumb-they-thought/928047/69 "2020-12-18T21:08:21Z")
> [@Tristan](#): > > fucked like a house on fire What a delightful turn of phrase. I’m going to have to steal this for my ribald fiction. ---
**Author:** ![lobotomyboy63](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobotomyboy63/32/2900_2.png) [@lobotomyboy63](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lobotomyboy63)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2020, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-ex-was-so-dumb-they-thought/928047/70 "2020-12-18T21:15:42Z")
> [@Tristan](#): > > fucked like a house on fire Oh Lord Jesus, it’s a fahr! [![](https://img.youtube.com/vi/waEC-8GFTP4/maxresdefault.jpg "Ain't Nobody Got Time For That (Original + AutoTune)") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=waEC-8GFTP4) ---
**Author:** ![actualliberalnotoneofthose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e79b87/32.png) [@actualliberalnotoneofthose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/actualliberalnotoneofthose)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2020, 8:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-ex-was-so-dumb-they-thought/928047/71 "2020-12-19T08:26:11Z")
She said he was “hot,” though. Supposedly that’s not allowed for short males. ---
**Author:** ![JKellyMap](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jkellymap/32/15880_2.png) [@JKellyMap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JKellyMap)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2020, 1:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-ex-was-so-dumb-they-thought/928047/72 "2020-12-19T13:13:59Z")
> [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](#): > > Duh, New London. Ha!!! ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2020, 5:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-ex-was-so-dumb-they-thought/928047/73 "2020-12-19T17:13:57Z")
> [@actualliberalnotoneofthose](#): > > She said he was “hot,” though. Supposedly that’s not allowed for short males. I have an affinity for short men. But then I’m not that tall myself. ---
**Author:** ![Acierocolotl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acierocolotl/32/6241_2.png) [@Acierocolotl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acierocolotl)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2020, 12:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-ex-was-so-dumb-they-thought/928047/74 "2020-12-20T00:31:31Z")
Gatopescado already made the self-deprecating joke I was going to make. I did have an ex who fell for the “dihydrogen monoxide” prank\*\*. They did have the common sense to bring it up with me and I disabused them of their worries. Honestly, I’ve been pretty lucky with the people I’ve been able to date. It’s just they had the bad taste to chose me. NB: I’m not down on myself. I’ve been steadily working on being a better person for years. It’s a never-ending process. \*\* Dihydrogen monoxide is found in large quantities in cancerous cells! Excessive exposure to dihydrogen monoxide can result in death! Etc. “Dihydrogen monoxide” is also a tortured but accurate name for “water”. All the prank statements were true, but framed in such a way as to make it sound menacing. ---
**Author:** ![racer72](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/racer72/32/3075_2.png) [@racer72](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/racer72)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2020, 12:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-ex-was-so-dumb-they-thought/928047/75 "2020-12-20T00:43:51Z")
> [@Duckster](#): > > Right turn on red AFTER stop. All 50 states. When did Illinois change the law? I was pulled over in Zion, Illinois back in 1975 for making a right turn on red. The officer did not believe me when I told him it was legal in Washington state. I think that distracted him enough to not notice that the 1961 Ford Falcon I was driving had a Kentucky registration and Pennsylvania plates. He radioed in and found that I was telling the truth. The story of the Falcon is a story of it’s own. ---
**Author:** ![Ulf\_the\_Unwashed](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Ulf\_the\_Unwashed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ulf_the_Unwashed)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2020, 12:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-ex-was-so-dumb-they-thought/928047/76 "2020-12-20T00:59:59Z")
Without looking it up, I would have guessed 1976. I was certainly a teenager at the time. It was highly controversial in Chicago because of the possible effect on pedestrians and many intersections did not allow it. The joke was that if you came to an intersection that allowed it you’d turn right even if you didn’t want to go that way, just because you could. ---
**Author:** ![bibliophage](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bibliophage/32/7615_2.png) [@bibliophage](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bibliophage)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2020, 1:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-ex-was-so-dumb-they-thought/928047/77 "2020-12-20T01:54:28Z")
> [@Tabco](#): > > In Oregon you can make left turns at a red light onto a one-way street, even if your street is two-way (i.e. against oncoming traffic). According to Wikipedia, left-on-red from a two-way onto a one-way street is generally legal (after stopping and yielding, of course) in British Columbia, Alaska, Idaho, Michigan, Oregon, and Washington. I’ve driven in two of those jurisdictions without having any idea of that rule. ---
**Author:** ![DesertDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/desertdog/32/11503_2.png) [@DesertDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DesertDog)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2020, 4:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-ex-was-so-dumb-they-thought/928047/78 "2020-12-20T16:10:06Z")
> [@racer72](#): > > When did Illinois change the law? IIRC, Connecticut was the last holdout and changed its mind circa 1980. A lot of states changed during the gas shortages in the mid-70s. Dunno about Illinois. ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2020, 4:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-ex-was-so-dumb-they-thought/928047/79 "2020-12-20T16:38:13Z")
> [@jonpluc](#): > > That i was lying about graduating from Syracuse University because my Diploma hanging on the wall read: Universitas Syracusana I know nothing about your ex, but my diploma (Queen’s University, Kingston) is ENTIRELY in Latin. I was surprised when my wife’s diplomas - from different universities - were in English. I assumed they all did it in Latin because it looks so smarty pants. ---
**Author:** ![Fretful\_Porpentine](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fretful_porpentine/32/2873_2.png) [@Fretful\_Porpentine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fretful_Porpentine)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2020, 5:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-ex-was-so-dumb-they-thought/928047/80 "2020-12-20T17:14:51Z")
> [@Jeff\_Lichtman](#): > > You don’t cook the lettuce when making a Caesar salad, right? So then why should you cook the potatoes when making a potato salad? Not only that, you don’t cook _Caesar_… On a vaguely related note, I dated a guy in grad school (that is to say, when I was in grad school; he was not academically inclined) who was unaware that there were different kinds of lettuce, and kept asking whether any kind of lettuce other than iceberg was “cabbage.” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-ex-was-so-dumb-they-thought/928047.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-ex-was-so-dumb-they-thought/928047.md?page=5)