# My ex was so dumb they thought **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [December 14, 2020, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-ex-was-so-dumb-they-thought/928047 "2020-12-14T20:16:19Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2020, 6:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-ex-was-so-dumb-they-thought/928047/81 "2020-12-20T18:31:25Z")
> [@DesertDog](#): > > > [@racer72](#): > > > > When did Illinois change the law? > > IIRC, Connecticut was the last holdout and changed its mind circa 1980. A lot of states changed during the gas shortages in the mid-70s. > > Dunno about Illinois. Here’s the relevant wiki bit. The Feds forced the states to change starting in 1975 but it took awhile for every state to get with the program. > **[Turn on red | North America](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Turn_on_red#North_America)** > > Right turns on red are permitted in many regions of North America. In the United States, western states have allowed it for more than 50 years,\[citation needed\]\[when?\] and eastern states amended their traffic laws to allow it in the 1970s as a claimed fuel-saving measure in response to motor fuel shortages in 1973. The Energy Policy and Conservation Act of 1975 required in §362(c)(5) that in order for a state to receive federal assistance in developing mandated conservation programs, they must p... ---
**Author:** ![JohnGalt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johngalt/32/184_2.png) [@JohnGalt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnGalt)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2020, 3:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-ex-was-so-dumb-they-thought/928047/82 "2020-12-21T03:39:05Z")
I take pride in being the first person in my home town to legally turn right on red. The law changed July 1st 1977, so I pulled up to a light just before midnight June 30th as the light turned red. Being late at night, there was no other traffic so I checked my watch for a few minutes after midnight to be safe, then made my historic turn. It helped that it was the only stoplight in the entire town. ---
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2020, 1:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-ex-was-so-dumb-they-thought/928047/83 "2020-12-21T13:33:18Z")
> [@JohnGalt](#): > > I take pride in being the first person in my home town to legally turn right on red. Courageous pioneer! ---
**Author:** ![Knowed\_Out](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/knowed_out/32/7380_2.png) [@Knowed\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowed_Out)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2020, 1:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-ex-was-so-dumb-they-thought/928047/84 "2020-12-21T13:49:12Z")
Come on, enough about right turns already. Dump on your ex! ---
**Author:** ![Scarlax](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scarlax/32/2927_2.png) [@Scarlax](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scarlax)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2020, 6:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-ex-was-so-dumb-they-thought/928047/85 "2020-12-21T18:32:03Z")
I don’t usually kink shame, but that ain’t right. Maybe that’s why they are your ex? ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2020, 6:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-ex-was-so-dumb-they-thought/928047/86 "2020-12-22T06:41:36Z")
Long, long ago, I was seeing a person who was convinced their ‘parents’ were from Outer Space, and they were placed here on Earth to observe and whatnot. The parents would appear to them as a ‘yellow light’ that would hover and engage with them. Bat-shit fucking crazy. Not bad in the sack, though. ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2020, 12:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-ex-was-so-dumb-they-thought/928047/87 "2020-12-22T12:40:54Z")
As always around here: “Do not stick your …” 😉 Having had a stunted social life in my youth and still being married to my first wife, I don’t have enough ex’s to have any good stupid ex stories. However I did post this doozy in a thread about stupid acquaintances, cow-orkers, etc. This dates from 17 years ago, so don’t revive the zombie unwittingly. > [@Another "how could anyone not know that?" thread](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-how-could-anyone-not-know-that-thread/212056/30): > > Not exactly what the OP was looking for, but probably close enough … Some years ago I belonged to a group of 6-10 middle managers that ate lunch together most days. I was the (slightly) senior member and quasi alpha dog of the informal group. One of the younger ones was a 23-year old true blonde from a small town in Texas. Sweet as could be and with all the brains and sophistication and education of a 10-year old. This despite having a 4-year degree in a sensible major from a readily recogn… ---
**Author:** ![needscoffee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/needscoffee/32/1076_2.png) [@needscoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/needscoffee)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2020, 2:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-ex-was-so-dumb-they-thought/928047/88 "2020-12-22T14:14:51Z")
That actually seems like a slightly reasonable guess, considering you didn’t tell her why a nautical mile is longer than a statute mile. ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2020, 2:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-ex-was-so-dumb-they-thought/928047/89 "2020-12-22T14:21:05Z")
Until you consider the offsetting effect of going down the downhill side of the waves. Which, after all the laughter had subsided, somebody pointed out to her. To which she emitted a disappointed “Ohhh” and went back to pondering something. Probably her hair. As I said then, she was a sweet human being. But really needed a seeing-eye adult to help her through life. ---
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2020, 6:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-ex-was-so-dumb-they-thought/928047/90 "2020-12-22T18:00:39Z")
> [@LSLGuy](#): > > But really needed a seeing-eye adult to help her through life. Wouldn’t a thinking-brain dog help more? I know dogs who function better in life than many of the folks I come into daily contact with, and wish there was such help available. ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2020, 6:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-ex-was-so-dumb-they-thought/928047/91 "2020-12-22T18:05:28Z")
Excellent point. We could probably get a dog to do most of this stuff. Though not people’s taxes; dogs are bad at math. For years one of my go-to rueful remarks about my fellow humans is “Gee, that guy/gal shouldn’t be allowed outside without their Mommy.” It sorta covers for your cases too; if their Mom had been there when they were getting into trouble, they’d probably wouldn’t be your problem today. ---
**Author:** ![Yllaria](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yllaria/32/3452_2.png) [@Yllaria](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yllaria)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2020, 3:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-ex-was-so-dumb-they-thought/928047/92 "2020-12-24T03:35:25Z")
> [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](#): > > Wouldn’t a thinking-brain dog help more? I know dogs who function better in life than many of the folks I come into daily contact with, and wish there was such help available. In the Sandman universe, Delirium’s dog is named Barnabas. So it can work in comic books. ---
**Author:** ![Quint](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/76d3ee/32.png) [@Quint](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quint)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2021, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-ex-was-so-dumb-they-thought/928047/93 "2021-05-27T17:53:34Z")
> [@JaneDoe42](#): > > Before I met hubs, I used to date bodybuilders. Besides their physical assets, one of the best things about them was for the most part, they were too stupid to lie. I’m serious, I caught one of them in bed with my sister and demanded to know what and why it had happened and the best he could come up with was “I don’t know, sex just seems to happen to me.” He was good in bed and my sister kept him for a few months before he got lost in the winds. Not sure how I wound up here 6 months down the road, but I have to ask- how did your sister explain what happened? Great post BTW. ---
**Author:** ![Saintly\_Loser](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/saintly_loser/32/4045_2.png) [@Saintly\_Loser](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Saintly_Loser)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2021, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-ex-was-so-dumb-they-thought/928047/94 "2021-05-27T19:13:24Z")
I had an ex who thought that pork chops came from the face of the pig. Somehow she’d heard the expression “licking his chops,” and extrapolated from that that “chops,” as a cut of meat, came from the face. She was otherwise a highly intelligent and well-educated woman. ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2021, 11:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-ex-was-so-dumb-they-thought/928047/95 "2021-05-27T23:54:35Z")
I thought the same thing when I was 6. Mom set me straight shortly thereafter. But if I hadn’t thought to ask or keep talking about it that confusion might have persisted unnoticed to adulthood. ---
**Author:** ![JaneDoe42](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/janedoe42/32/14104_2.png) [@JaneDoe42](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JaneDoe42)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2021, 3:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-ex-was-so-dumb-they-thought/928047/96 "2021-05-28T03:36:36Z")
Honestly, I don’t remember if she said anything or just hid under the covers. But…thinking about it…she was dissed worse than me. I was the wronged girlfriend, she was the one that just happened to be there when the sex happened. I was probably pissed off at her for a couple of days, but again, that was a long time ago and we’ve gotten over it. I’ll have to ask my sister what she did with him next time we talk. It would be REALLY funny if she broke up with him because of “cheating”. She’s never been that bright either, bless her heart. ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2021, 1:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-ex-was-so-dumb-they-thought/928047/97 "2021-05-28T13:55:32Z")
I’d wondered the same thing when I read that the first time. Glad somebody finally had the 'nads to ask. We’d love an update on your sister’s version of events and what happened next. At least I know _I_ would. 😀 ---
**Author:** ![Capn\_Carl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/838e76/32.png) [@Capn\_Carl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Capn_Carl)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2021, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-ex-was-so-dumb-they-thought/928047/98 "2021-05-29T20:42:06Z")
I’ll second that. ---
**Author:** ![mikecurtis](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mikecurtis/32/3284_2.png) [@mikecurtis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mikecurtis)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2021, 1:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-ex-was-so-dumb-they-thought/928047/99 "2021-05-30T01:24:16Z")
I dated a girl in college who uttered the phrase “I can’t be out of money. I still have checks!” Now, she wasn’t so much dumb as naive in the ways of finances. Coming from a well to do family she had never had to think about such things. And one phone call to daddy quickly relieved her woes. Nonetheless, although we continued to “date” for a while, that simple sentence changed her into my future ex-girlfriend right then and there. ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2021, 12:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-ex-was-so-dumb-they-thought/928047/100 "2021-05-30T12:53:42Z")
Back in the Olden Dayes of credit cards with the embossed numbers and the _Ker-Chunk!_ imprint machines I used to joke that > I _can’t_ be up to my credit limit; I haven’t worn the numbers off the card yet. Once in awhile between wife and I we tried real hard to get there though! 😉 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-ex-was-so-dumb-they-thought/928047.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-ex-was-so-dumb-they-thought/928047.md?page=6)