# "My eyes! The goggles do nothing!" origin **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [February 9, 2005, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-eyes-the-goggles-do-nothing-origin/289267 "2005-02-09T20:35:22Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 13\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otto)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2005, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-eyes-the-goggles-do-nothing-origin/289267/1 "2005-02-09T20:35:22Z")
I’m thinking I remember Homer saying it in a Simpsons ep. What were the specifics? ---
**Author:** ![Neurotik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/91b2a8/32.png) [@Neurotik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Neurotik)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2005, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-eyes-the-goggles-do-nothing-origin/289267/2 "2005-02-09T20:39:45Z")
Not Homer - it was Rainier Wolfcastle in the episode where they were making the Radioactive Man movie. Milhouse was supposed to swoop down and grab RM out of the way of the cascading nuclear waste. Before they unleashed the waste, the director says, OK, safety first everyone, make sure your goggles are on. Wolfcastle does so, the waste comes down, but Milhouse had run away, so Wolfie gets hit by the huge wave of nuclear waste. At which point he cries, “The goggles! They do nothing!” ---
**Author:** ![Governor\_Quinn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d26b3c/32.png) [@Governor\_Quinn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Governor_Quinn)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2005, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-eyes-the-goggles-do-nothing-origin/289267/3 "2005-02-09T20:39:45Z")
It’s from ep. #130, “Radioactive Man”, and it’s by Rainer Wolfcastle. If I remember correctly (and it’s been a time since I’ve seen the episode in question), he puts on said goggles when a flood of acid comes towards him. ---
**Author:** ![Governor\_Quinn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d26b3c/32.png) [@Governor\_Quinn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Governor_Quinn)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2005, 8:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-eyes-the-goggles-do-nothing-origin/289267/4 "2005-02-09T20:41:20Z")
Curses, beaten to it. ---
**Author:** ![St\_Ides](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ccd318/32.png) [@St\_Ides](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/St_Ides)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2005, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-eyes-the-goggles-do-nothing-origin/289267/5 "2005-02-09T20:43:51Z")
Ranier Wolfcastle says it in the Radioactive Man movie episode, (Milhouse gets the role as Fallout Boy, much to Bart’s chagrin.) During one of the movie’s scenes, a vat of acid is poured in to a trench where Radioactive Man (Wolfcastle) is tied up. They were using real acid… Which as any science teacher will tell you, you need to be wearing goggles to work with it. So when Fallout Boy doesn’t show up to untie him and save him, Wolfcastle puts on a set of the goggles, and gets hit by the wall of acid, burninating everything in its path. Before becoming embedded in a wall, he shouts the immortal words: “MY EYES! THE GOGGLES DO NOTHING!” ---
**Author:** ![St\_Ides](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ccd318/32.png) [@St\_Ides](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/St_Ides)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2005, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-eyes-the-goggles-do-nothing-origin/289267/6 "2005-02-09T20:46:59Z")
Blast! I was beaten too. Oh well… It was sulfuric acid though… Not nuclear waste. ---
**Author:** ![Kozmik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/8dc957/32.png) [@Kozmik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kozmik)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2005, 10:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-eyes-the-goggles-do-nothing-origin/289267/7 "2005-02-09T22:42:39Z")
Yeah, it wasn’t nuclear waste. It’s Homer’s job to handle that stuff. The scene was filmed in the nuclear power plant though, so I could understand that mistake. But the director says “Now, that’s real acid, so I want to see goggles, people!” And it’s Radiation Man! ---
**Author:** ![Omphaloskeptic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bcef8e/32.png) [@Omphaloskeptic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omphaloskeptic)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2005, 11:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-eyes-the-goggles-do-nothing-origin/289267/8 "2005-02-09T23:14:24Z")
For your listening pleasure (WAV) … [“My eyes! Za goggles do nothink!”](http://www.u.arizona.edu/~mbstepp/sounds/goggles.wav) ---
**Author:** ![MovieMogul](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f08c70/32.png) [@MovieMogul](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MovieMogul)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2005, 11:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-eyes-the-goggles-do-nothing-origin/289267/9 "2005-02-09T23:20:06Z")
> [@Kozmik](#): > > Yeah, it wasn’t nuclear waste. It’s Homer’s job to handle that stuff. The scene was filmed in the nuclear power plant though, so I could understand that mistake. But the director says “Now, that’s real acid, so I want to see goggles, people!” And it’s Radiation Man! No, no, no! “Watch Out, Radioactive Man!” And nobody’s mentioned that the acid manages to burn off most of RW’s RM costume, but leaving him fairly intact (though virtually naked). ---
**Author:** ![Kozmik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/8dc957/32.png) [@Kozmik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kozmik)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2005, 3:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-eyes-the-goggles-do-nothing-origin/289267/10 "2005-02-10T15:13:22Z")
No, I was correct, and I don’t want to make a fool of Diamond Joe Quimby! Remember in episode 7F21, Mayor Quimby gives this speech: Quimby: “Your youthful high spirits have emparted a glow into this old warhorse, you might say I feel like Radiation Man.” Jimbo: "That’s Radioative Man, jerk Quimby: “I, uh, stand corrected. Well, have fun and be sure to clear out by six for the shriners. [to one of his bodyguards] Get that punk’s name, no one makes a fool of Diamond Joe Quimby.” ---
**Author:** ![Zabali\_Clawbane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/ecd19e/32.png) [@Zabali\_Clawbane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zabali_Clawbane)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2005, 4:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-eyes-the-goggles-do-nothing-origin/289267/11 "2005-02-10T16:46:50Z")
I seem to recall the quote from a Dragon Magazine short story in the late '80’s early '90s about tinker gnomes wanting to test their devices on a poor dragon who’s utterly exhausted after defeating (and eating) his rival to claim the volcanic island the gnomes lived on. FUNNY story. Wish I could remember the name of it, or the author. There was a scene in which one was testing goggles, and the dragon flamed some explosives. (Their suits were proof against his flame, but not the explosion.) Poor dragon, his idyllic home is “infested” by tinker gnomes, who have no fear and want him to participate in endless experiments, and wake him up with thier shrill little voices. All he wanted to do was sleep a good long while. Maybe this is where they got it from for The Radioactive Man episode? ---
**Author:** ![Zabali\_Clawbane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/ecd19e/32.png) [@Zabali\_Clawbane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zabali_Clawbane)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2005, 4:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-eyes-the-goggles-do-nothing-origin/289267/12 "2005-02-10T16:53:22Z")
To clarify, the goggles were supposed to protect the eyes from bright lights, but the light and heat from the explosion was too much for them, and they said (with the same accent IIRC) “My eyes! The goggles, they do nothing!”. ---
**Author:** ![Ike\_Witt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ike_witt/32/283_2.png) [@Ike\_Witt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ike_Witt)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2005, 5:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-eyes-the-goggles-do-nothing-origin/289267/13 "2005-02-10T17:15:44Z")
Up and at them.