# My family collapses **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 25, 2001, 7:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-family-collapses/51694 "2001-01-25T07:03:30Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 8\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![SpartanDC](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b2d939/32.png) [@SpartanDC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SpartanDC)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2001, 7:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-family-collapses/51694/1 "2001-01-25T07:03:30Z")
Dopers, I’ve posted a couple times about how my father and I don’t get along. Well, today the following exchange took place: Dad: I’m going to clean out the house in February, so let me know if there’s anything you want me to keep. Me: Actually, I want to get the Precious Moments that mom didn’t take when she left. Dad: Okay, just tell her that if she wants them she can make me my favorite dinner and mail it to me. Me (thinking he’s joking): Um… no. Dad (not joking): No?? Me: Dad, they’re hers. She shouldn’t have to GIVE you anything for them. Dad: Well, if you’re not willing to ask her, then I’ll just break all of them and throw them out. Me: Fuck you. That’s a little condensed (there was a little more meaningless stuff before the “I’m going to break all of them”) but all that matters is there. There was a lot of arguing after that when I noticed booze on my dad’s breath. So, tonight, I sit in my bedroom for what might be the last time. I feel like a teenager in an afterschool special, but I’m a college senior who’s going to start a career in less than a year. I’m not upset. I almost see this as something that was inevitable. He was going to buy me a computer. That’s out the window. He was going to help support me while I was away on internship. That’s not going to happen, either. But I don’t care. This isn’t about money or possessions. It’s about a relationship that can’t take any more strife and a man who’s unwilling to compromise or listen to his son’s feelings. I may never see my dad again, and I’m not even upset. To quote Calvin: “What a stupid world.” ---
**Author:** ![St.Attila](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e99b99/32.png) [@St.Attila](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/St.Attila)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2001, 7:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-family-collapses/51694/2 "2001-01-25T07:34:37Z")
That sucks, **SNenc**. If the worst thing he’s done is just to be an asshole, though, I wouldn’t completely cut him out of my life. People can change, especially with support. ---
**Author:** ![SpartanDC](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b2d939/32.png) [@SpartanDC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SpartanDC)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2001, 7:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-family-collapses/51694/3 "2001-01-25T07:37:47Z")
The last words he said to me came right before he went to bed. He stuck his head in and said, calmly: “I really don’t care what you do, but it would be nice if you left.” He doesn’t want me around, he won’t have me around. I’m leaving a note explaining myself. He knows how to reach me and I think the ball is in his court. ---
**Author:** ![Rilchiam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/2bfe46/32.png) [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2001, 4:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-family-collapses/51694/4 "2001-01-26T04:11:57Z")
{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{SNenc}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} ---
**Author:** ![Deacons\_Trucked](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d78d45/32.png) [@Deacons\_Trucked](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Deacons_Trucked)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2001, 5:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-family-collapses/51694/5 "2001-01-26T05:12:05Z")
Ummm…pardon my stupidity, but what is meant by “Precious Moments”? I feel awful for you, SNenc. ---
**Author:** ![Shadowfox](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c89c15/32.png) [@Shadowfox](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shadowfox)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2001, 5:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-family-collapses/51694/6 "2001-01-26T05:17:42Z")
“Precious Moments” are a collection of porcelein figurines. ---
**Author:** ![rpinrd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b3f665/32.png) [@rpinrd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rpinrd)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2001, 5:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-family-collapses/51694/7 "2001-01-26T05:57:36Z")
**SNenc** , I hear ya’. I’ve pretty much gone through the same thing with both a father and a step-father. It sounds like you’ve got everything under control. Sometimes you’ve just got to say f\*ck it and move on. Live your own life - which is what it sounds like you are ready to do. Hey, if it helps, I can tell you that the second time I went through this I was at probably the exact stage of life you are at now. I turned out pretty well, and I’ve got some pretty good examples of what not to do when I’m a dad. ---
**Author:** ![Zenster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/cdc98d/32.png) [@Zenster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zenster)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2001, 7:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-family-collapses/51694/8 "2001-01-26T07:06:00Z")
You did your best. With whatever exceptions: A) Avoid any contact for exactly one year. B) Get in touch and see if there’s any change. C) If no change, see A. Sounds like a sh!tty situation, please let us know what happens when you get free of it.