# My father came out to me.

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-father-came-out-to-me/516602>\
**Category:** In My Humble Opinion\
**Created:** [November 6, 2009, 5:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-father-came-out-to-me/516602 "2009-11-06T17:12:51Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 4\
**Page:** 4

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**Author:** ![heavybuhbuh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b5a626/32.png) [@heavybuhbuh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/heavybuhbuh)\
**Post date:** [November 10, 2009, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-father-came-out-to-me/516602/61 "2009-11-10T20:46:26Z")

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I have a good friend who’s 85 year old father “came out” and she refused to accept it or believe it. She treated it like a disbelieving parent and felt he was going through a phase or was getting senile. Everytime I met him after that he would flirt with me so aggressively. I knew not to be around him when he was drunk…

He stayed married to his wife of 60+ years and lived with her until he died 6 years later at the age of 91.

My friend never truly accepted him for finally being open with his sexuality, and she is a mess mentally. Its weird for me because I know she is not a homophobe, she even has a lesbian daughter that she loves dearly. It just changed her view of her father that she knew as heterosexual for 85 years.

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**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\
**Post date:** [November 11, 2009, 3:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-father-came-out-to-me/516602/62 "2009-11-11T03:35:33Z")

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> [@YogSosoth](#):
>
> Hey, you can’t just give us half the story and expect us to be satisfied! What happened after that? Did they accept that your revelation was real? Or does the whole family just ignore it like it never happened?

Well, it’s a bland end to a funny story: they accepted me just fine, and I had a good chat with my aunt and uncle that New Year’s. One unfortunate thing, though, was that Matt Shepard was killed that weekend, which put rather a grim cast on things.

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**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\
**Post date:** [November 11, 2009, 4:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-father-came-out-to-me/516602/63 "2009-11-11T04:56:30Z")

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> [@Chessic\_Sense](#):
>
> I don’t really intellectually care, but it’s certainly weird now. I mean, this was the guy I looked to as an example of manliness. Now, that image is entirely destroyed.

Another :rolleyes:

You must have a really distorted idea of “manliness,” or what it means to be gay, or both.

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**Author:** ![ENugent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/4af34b/32.png) [@ENugent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ENugent)\
**Post date:** [November 12, 2009, 2:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-father-came-out-to-me/516602/64 "2009-11-12T02:40:02Z")

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> [@Green\_Bean](#):
>
> You mean a guy in a white shirt that says “ASIAN” across the front in big black letters?

[He’s incognito](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YR34ilk4xaI).

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