# My father has died, long, sorry **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 13, 2014, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-father-has-died-long-sorry/698397 "2014-09-13T17:17:40Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2014, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-father-has-died-long-sorry/698397/1 "2014-09-13T17:17:40Z")
There is a big hole now in the place where my “daddy” was. Yesterday he was on his motorcycle and was rear ended by another vehicle, which propelled him into the truck in front of him. So the accident was not his fault, but he is just as dead. Medical personnel tried to revive him at the hospital but he had sever internal injuries, and by the time I got there he was gone. I haven’t cried yet, although I got damp eyes once or twice, and that is puzzling me. I keep telling myself I haved to hold it together for my mother, and I don’t want to be a big baby and take attention from her. I’m the one who made most of the phone calls to family out of town and I stayed calm. I’ve tried to compose a list of things to be thankful for, blessings as it were. If he’d lived he would have been a total invalid, and he would have hated that. He (Probably) had not time to comprehend what had happened. Dad had a strong religious faith, and is he did hear or feel anything, the next thing he heard was the Lord telling him to get up on his own two feet in Heaven. Dad"s heart meds had been giving him trouble and he had had some headaches lately so at least there will be no lingering pain. He will never suffer from dementia. But oh I will miss him. I’m going to have to grow up now when it comes to taking care of my car, he’d always worked on that, or knew who to send me to. Same thing goes for work on my house. I loved him more than any other man in the world, although we didn’t see eye to eye on things, especially politics. And he was disturbed when I changed relgigious denominations from what I grew up with. That didn’t make the love lessen though. He was the best of fathers. I only got spanked twice as a kid, he knew I was a stubborn as he was, and the best way to handle me was to outsmart me. I’m told when I was four, and first put in Sunday School, I kicked up a fuss and was behaving badly. Dad didn’t whack me or anything, he told me that I couldn’t go to Sunday School, I’d _never_ get to be in the Christmas program, and so on. After that it’s said I wanted to go. Good reverse psychology there. Something similar happened when I was eight. He was teaching me to count change, as I was now to get an allowance. I remember whining it was too hard and wanted him to do it for me. He said if I couldn’t count it I wouldn’t get the allowance, and suddenly counting was a whole lot easier. The night my first nephew was born, his first grandchild, we sneaked down the corridor of the hospital to listen at my sister’s door. When he heard that baby wailing he turned to me and said "Did you hear that? _ **Did you hear that?** _ His eyes were at least 200 watt bright. I was the oldest of three girls. My parents were married for over 62 years. My mom is trying to be brave but it’s hard for her. She doesn’t even really want to know who it was that struck my dad, although it will be a court case. We know through a grapevine that the driver was not under the influence of anything, it was probably just a second’s worth of inattention. And mom will press not civil charges, when she was asked about that she shuddered before she said no. Sorry this is so long, but I just wanted to “talk to somebody” ---
**Author:** ![Quartz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quartz/32/267_2.png) [@Quartz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quartz)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2014, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-father-has-died-long-sorry/698397/2 "2014-09-13T17:21:27Z")
(( **Baker** )) ---
**Author:** ![Capt\_Kirk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/779978/32.png) [@Capt\_Kirk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Capt_Kirk)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2014, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-father-has-died-long-sorry/698397/3 "2014-09-13T17:26:10Z")
So sorry, Please vent, cry and wail here My sincere condolences for you and your family **Capt** ---
**Author:** ![rocking\_chair](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rocking_chair/32/2918_2.png) [@rocking\_chair](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rocking_chair)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2014, 5:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-father-has-died-long-sorry/698397/4 "2014-09-13T17:54:36Z")
baker, i’m so sorry. may his memory be eternal. ---
**Author:** ![IvoryTowerDenizen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ivorytowerdenizen/32/17937_2.png) [@IvoryTowerDenizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IvoryTowerDenizen)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2014, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-father-has-died-long-sorry/698397/5 "2014-09-13T17:55:25Z")
Oh, **Baker** , I’m so sorry. ---
**Author:** ![Revtim](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/revtim/32/1042_2.png) [@Revtim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revtim)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2014, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-father-has-died-long-sorry/698397/6 "2014-09-13T18:03:08Z")
I’m very sorry for your loss **Baker**. ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Girlfriend](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dr.girlfriend/32/193_2.png) [@Dr.Girlfriend](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Girlfriend)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2014, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-father-has-died-long-sorry/698397/7 "2014-09-13T18:29:30Z")
I’m so sorry, **Baker**. We’re here if you need us. ---
**Author:** ![Napier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ce73a5/32.png) [@Napier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Napier)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2014, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-father-has-died-long-sorry/698397/8 "2014-09-13T18:37:57Z")
This is so sad and I’m so sorry. It hurts terribly. It is OK to cry or not cry whenever you need to, and I hope you feel like writing more and it helps you. Can you think of anything we might be able to help with that goes beyond listening and talking? ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2014, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-father-has-died-long-sorry/698397/9 "2014-09-13T18:48:05Z")
**{{{Baker}}}** I’m so sorry. Please know your father, your mom, you, and the whole family are in my thoughts and prayers. I hope this prayer from the BCP is of some comfort to you now: Father of all, we pray to you for those we love, but see no longer: Grant them your peace; let light perpetual shine upon them; and, in your loving wisdom and almighty power, work in them the good purpose of your perfect will; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen. ---
**Author:** ![Alice\_The\_Goon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Alice\_The\_Goon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alice_The_Goon)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2014, 6:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-father-has-died-long-sorry/698397/10 "2014-09-13T18:53:29Z")
Please accept my condolences on the loss of your father, **Baker**. May your grief lessen quickly and your memories of him last forever. ---
**Author:** ![johnpost](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f17d59/32.png) [@johnpost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/johnpost)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2014, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-father-has-died-long-sorry/698397/11 "2014-09-13T19:01:25Z")
sorry. you’ll cry when you have the time. ---
**Author:** ![elbows](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b3f665/32.png) [@elbows](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elbows)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2014, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-father-has-died-long-sorry/698397/12 "2014-09-13T19:01:44Z")
I’m so sorry for such a profound loss, my heart goes out to you and all who loved him. Thank you for sharing a little of who he was with us, your love and respect for him shine through so clearly. (Don’t hesitate to share more with us, we’re right here, all ears, whenever you feel the need!) ---
**Author:** ![etv78](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/d78d45/32.png) [@etv78](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/etv78)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2014, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-father-has-died-long-sorry/698397/13 "2014-09-13T19:02:04Z")
So sad for your family Baker. ---
**Author:** ![missred](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/missred/32/14096_2.png) [@missred](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/missred)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2014, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-father-has-died-long-sorry/698397/14 "2014-09-13T19:23:15Z")
**{{{Baker}}}** No matter how old a child gets, the love for a good daddy never leaves. You and your family are in my thoughts. ---
**Author:** ![Pai325](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c68b51/32.png) [@Pai325](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pai325)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2014, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-father-has-died-long-sorry/698397/15 "2014-09-13T19:25:12Z")
Oh, I’m so sorry. ---
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2014, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-father-has-died-long-sorry/698397/16 "2014-09-13T19:43:34Z")
My condolences for your sudden and tragic loss. ---
**Author:** ![papergirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/aca169/32.png) [@papergirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/papergirl)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2014, 7:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-father-has-died-long-sorry/698397/17 "2014-09-13T19:44:26Z")
Oh, my friend. I’m so terribly sorry. Shoot me a pm if you need to talk or vent. I’ll give you my cell. ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2014, 7:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-father-has-died-long-sorry/698397/18 "2014-09-13T19:53:15Z")
I’m sorry for your troubles, **Baker.** ---
**Author:** ![chiroptera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/df705f/32.png) [@chiroptera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chiroptera)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2014, 7:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-father-has-died-long-sorry/698397/19 "2014-09-13T19:53:15Z")
I’m so sorry, Baker. My dad died 18 years ago and it still hurts and I still miss him and wish I could talk to him. It gets less painful, it really does. Your father sounds wonderful and he raised a good daughter. ---
**Author:** ![Spiderman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spiderman/32/230_2.png) [@Spiderman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spiderman)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2014, 8:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-father-has-died-long-sorry/698397/20 "2014-09-13T20:06:09Z")
{{{ **Baker** }}} Married for 62 years means probably early/mid 80’s & still riding a motorcycle. That is _awesome_! [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-father-has-died-long-sorry/698397.md?page=2)