# My first attempt at writing a sonnet **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [March 7, 2015, 12:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-first-attempt-at-writing-a-sonnet/714431 "2015-03-07T12:00:04Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 8\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![YP\_KISHORE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/ad7895/32.png) [@YP\_KISHORE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/YP_KISHORE)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2015, 4:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-first-attempt-at-writing-a-sonnet/714431/21 "2015-03-11T04:45:48Z")
Thank you jsgoddess. ---
**Author:** ![Jack\_of\_Words](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f6c823/32.png) [@Jack\_of\_Words](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_of_Words)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2015, 6:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-first-attempt-at-writing-a-sonnet/714431/22 "2015-03-11T06:27:28Z")
> [@YP\_KISHORE](#): > > Pardon my ignorance…could you please explain a bit more about “inversions”. I am putting in this request just to educate myself. I can always pardon ignorance seeking education 🙂 Inversions…let me give you another example: “Ignorance I can always pardon, where it education seeks” (no doubt done to rhyme with ‘leaks’ or somesuch). Like most languages, english has conventions about word order in sentences. ‘Inversion’ is the act of re-arranging a sentence in a way that defies established conventions, simply to facilitate a rhyme scheme or metre. I suppose it’s easier to slip into if english is not your first language and if your own language uses different conventions. Given that modern poetry embraces an absence of either rhyme or rhythm, and that we quite rightly promote saying what you have to say in whatever way best suits you these days, inversions remain the one cardinal sin that any poet will caution you against. They tend to stick out like a sore thumb (ok, we’re all prone to cliche 😛 ) and pull the reader out of the poem for a moment. Like any artistic rule it’s possible to break it purposefully and get away with it, but on the whole they’re best avoided. ---
**Author:** ![scoots](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b77776/32.png) [@scoots](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scoots)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2015, 8:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-first-attempt-at-writing-a-sonnet/714431/23 "2015-03-11T08:26:42Z")
> [@SciFiSam](#): > > Yo Vizag! means hi Vizag, what’s up? in very colloquial language, and I don’t think that’s what you intended. Do you mean something more like “Go Vizag”? I would definitely recommend changing this one. It makes me think of Vizag walking down the street and fist-bumping with his homeboys. Not “Go Vizag” That sounds like you’re supporting the local football team I think it has to be either “Oh Vizag” or “Lo Vizag” Definitely not Yo ---
**Author:** ![YP\_KISHORE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/ad7895/32.png) [@YP\_KISHORE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/YP_KISHORE)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2015, 9:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-first-attempt-at-writing-a-sonnet/714431/24 "2015-03-11T09:39:19Z")
Jack of Words, I get what you mean by ‘inversions’ now. Thank you. ---
**Author:** ![SciFiSam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/47e85d/32.png) [@SciFiSam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SciFiSam)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2015, 12:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-first-attempt-at-writing-a-sonnet/714431/25 "2015-03-12T12:57:46Z")
> [@YP\_KISHORE](#): > > Not being a student of English literature coupled with the disadvantage of a non-English mother tongue is showing up very vividly in my writing, it seems. Nah. It’s a first draft; a professional writer, a native speaker, would expect some changes to be suggested when he submits a first draft for criticism. Some of the changes are on the basis of you being a non-native English speaker but there aren’t many, really. @Jack of Words: I’m thinking more of older poetry. It does do that a lot. Sometimes it works well, sometimes not. > [@scoots](#): > > Not “Go Vizag” > > That sounds like you’re supporting the local football team > > I think it has to be either “Oh Vizag” or “Lo Vizag” > > Definitely not Yo Agreed, go wouldn’t work well either. Oh would be best, I think. ---
**Author:** ![YP\_KISHORE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/ad7895/32.png) [@YP\_KISHORE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/YP_KISHORE)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2015, 2:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-first-attempt-at-writing-a-sonnet/714431/26 "2015-03-12T14:44:38Z")
> [@scoots](#): > > Not “Go Vizag” > > That sounds like you’re supporting the local football team > > I think it has to be either “Oh Vizag” or “Lo Vizag” > > Definitely not Yo My intention behind using “Yo Vizag” was to address the FB group of the same name (the Facebook group is dedicated to discuss all things/issues related to Vizag) as also to personify the city of Vizag and, sort of, speak to it. ---
**Author:** ![YP\_KISHORE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/ad7895/32.png) [@YP\_KISHORE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/YP_KISHORE)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2015, 2:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-first-attempt-at-writing-a-sonnet/714431/27 "2015-03-12T14:47:31Z")
Thank you SciFiSam. I really appreciate the feedback and criticism I got in this forum. ---
**Author:** ![SciFiSam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/47e85d/32.png) [@SciFiSam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SciFiSam)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2015, 11:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-first-attempt-at-writing-a-sonnet/714431/28 "2015-03-13T11:00:43Z")
> [@YP\_KISHORE](#): > > My intention behind using “Yo Vizag” was to address the FB group of the same name (the Facebook group is dedicated to discuss all things/issues related to Vizag) as also to personify the city of Vizag and, sort of, speak to it. It’s still really informal and also cheerful. You wouldn’t say “Yo, Dave! How are you coping with your wife’s death?” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-first-attempt-at-writing-a-sonnet/714431.md?page=1)