# My first colonoscopy is coming up… woo… what to expect? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 1, 2021, 5:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-first-colonoscopy-is-coming-up-woo-what-to-expect/953639 "2021-11-01T17:19:41Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![aruvqan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aruvqan/32/2891_2.png) [@aruvqan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aruvqan)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2021, 8:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-first-colonoscopy-is-coming-up-woo-what-to-expect/953639/41 "2021-11-03T08:42:45Z")
> [@echoreply](#): > > Split the 48oz into several smaller containers so you can keep the rest cold while working in one. Chugging probably won’t help, so just continuous sips. My problem is that if I drink too much too quickly my stomach is too full and I can’t drink more. As long as I stuck to 8oz every 15 minutes, or whatever, I was fine. Pretty much this - it is the taste [and sometimes the texture, depending on what they decide you get] but ice cold to sort of numb the taste buds works, as does a straw. Though I did actually do the [gallon of milk challenge](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Milk_chugging) more than once, the secret is actually to just sip the whole time, rather than to gulp. And yes, I know I was nuts, being somewhat lactose intolerant - and I used whole fat milk, not skim. Not sure if it is my hospital system or not, but I always get told what to / how to taper down all my medications pre-sedation, since it is pretty much the same all the time, I have a list of meds/taper down schedule printed out I take with me to the consult with the gas-passer, along with a full list of my normal ‘doctor sheet’ [headed with my data, mrAru’s data, all my assorted doctor’s data, my hospitalizations/procedures, my current medications, current OTC products. Only thing different is I don’t put the bullet list of issues to be addressed at that appointment, like I do with my normal visits where i might need prescription refills or consultation paperwork.] ---
**Author:** ![Vimp](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/vimp/32/4186_2.png) [@Vimp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Vimp)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2021, 2:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-first-colonoscopy-is-coming-up-woo-what-to-expect/953639/42 "2021-11-04T02:26:41Z")
As other posters have mentioned above, use some kind of ointment to help when the nether regions start getting chapped. I’ve used “buttpaste” (found in the baby area of the local drugstore) to work really well. Works well for diarrhea also. ---
**Author:** ![Napier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ce73a5/32.png) [@Napier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Napier)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2021, 1:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-first-colonoscopy-is-coming-up-woo-what-to-expect/953639/43 "2021-11-04T13:02:52Z")
Since you do ask what to expect, I will share my experience. Roughly a decade ago I had a routine colonoscopy, not my first nor my last. However, this time they unknowingly put a four inch tear in my ascending colon. It took more than a day to diagnose, by which time I had raging peritonitis. My entire abdominal area bloated way up and turned red and hot, and I had a fever that kept racing up and down. I had to have an emergency laparotomy. The doctors told my spouse and stepchild that it could go either way. They told me that I might require a colostomy bag and that it might be permanent, but that I would definitely not survive without the surgery. But the surgery went well and I didn’t need the colostomy. I was in the hospital for seven days, and I did wind up with a nine inch vertical scar that is still so sensitive that I have to wear my belt buckle between the side loops of my jeans. Something like this happens in approximately 1 out of every 800 colonoscopies. I’ve had one since that went fine. If you have the same thing happen, here’s a joke you can tell the surgical team before they put you under: What’s the worst thing about having a colostomy bag? Finding shoes to match. ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2021, 4:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-first-colonoscopy-is-coming-up-woo-what-to-expect/953639/44 "2021-11-05T04:45:35Z")
I knew a woman who opted to have hers done at the hospital, and pay $200 extra, when she found out about the risk of colon perforation. Her doctor told her that it’s extremely rare in the absence of some kind of disease pathology, but she still wanted it done there and not at the outpatient center, and he understood. She was fine, BTW but she did say that she took longer to recover from the sedation than from anything else. ---
**Author:** ![Procrustus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/procrustus/32/2994_2.png) [@Procrustus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Procrustus)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2021, 2:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-first-colonoscopy-is-coming-up-woo-what-to-expect/953639/45 "2021-11-05T14:13:35Z")
> [@nearwildheaven](#): > > I knew a woman who opted to have hers done at the hospital, and pay $200 extra, when she found out about the risk of colon perforation. My doctor had both of my (routine) colonoscopies scheduled in the hospital. I wasn’t given the option of an endoscopy outpatient clinic. Although I assume they exist in this area, I don’t thing they’re common. ---
**Author:** ![robby](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robby/32/11048_2.png) [@robby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robby)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2021, 2:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-first-colonoscopy-is-coming-up-woo-what-to-expect/953639/46 "2021-11-05T14:47:37Z")
I had my first one in December 2018, and am on a five-year recall. I remember it not being nearly as bad as I thought it would be. The worst part was the prep, and even that wasn’t so bad. I also got Suprep, and had no issues with it whatsoever. When I get my next one, I plan to ask for it again. I posted a running commentary about my colonoscopy experience in this thread: > [@Tell me about your colonoscopy](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/tell-me-about-your-colonoscopy/825914): > > So I’ve turned 50 & need to schedule this, but I’m dreading it and procrastinating. A friend told me that the colonoscopy itself is no big deal, but the PREP is horrid. He said that the day prior to my procedure, I should not leave the house At All. Not even for 5 minutes. Was this your experience? Please lmk, with as much graphic detail as possible. TIA ---
**Author:** ![elfkin477](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a9a28c/32.png) [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2021, 10:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-first-colonoscopy-is-coming-up-woo-what-to-expect/953639/47 "2021-11-05T22:41:23Z")
Happy 50th birthday, Leaper ---
**Author:** ![bikedude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/a87d85/32.png) [@bikedude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bikedude)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2021, 2:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-first-colonoscopy-is-coming-up-woo-what-to-expect/953639/48 "2021-11-06T02:51:00Z")
Use the “At home” test kit instead. 2 minutes to poop in a cup. ---
**Author:** ![eschrodinger](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eschrodinger/32/122_2.png) [@eschrodinger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eschrodinger)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2021, 2:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-first-colonoscopy-is-coming-up-woo-what-to-expect/953639/49 "2021-11-06T02:59:06Z")
It’s less thorough and you have to do it more often. If you get a good result from the colonoscopy, you get to go 10 years until your next one. If there’s concerning stuff, they can grab it while they’re in there. Everyone gets to weigh their own priorities, but those are the reasons I’m not going the poop-in-a-cup route. ---
**Author:** ![Senegoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senegoid/32/6606_2.png) [@Senegoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Senegoid)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2021, 5:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-first-colonoscopy-is-coming-up-woo-what-to-expect/953639/50 "2021-11-06T05:49:29Z")
This seemed odd to me: They had me do the poop-in-a-cup thing annually for several years until it came back positive one day (most probably, due to a minor hemorrhoid), then they scheduled me for a full ~~brain~~ colon probe. They found three minor polyps, which they scavenged. And here’s the odd thing: They say that after a colonoscopy, to have one again in ten years, and in the meantime, I never need to do the poop-in-a-coup again. So I’m not doing that any more. They say that colon cancers are so slow growing that after a colonoscopy where nothing (much) is found, then nothing bad is going to happen within the next ten-year period. (Should I be dubious?) ---
**Author:** ![Die\_Capacitrix](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/die_capacitrix/32/9_2.png) [@Die\_Capacitrix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Die_Capacitrix)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2021, 7:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-first-colonoscopy-is-coming-up-woo-what-to-expect/953639/51 "2021-11-06T07:35:10Z")
> [@Senegoid](#): > > They say that colon cancers are so slow growing that after a colonoscopy where nothing (much) is found, then nothing bad is going to happen within the next ten-year period. (Should I be dubious?) For my first colonoscopy, they found, and cut off one .6 mm polyp, earning me the 5 year plan. On the second, they found, and cut off one polyp (don’t remember the size). Was told again to come back in 5 years. Everybody I know who had something cut off were advised to come back in 5 years. If **nothing** was found, then they were told to come back in 10 years. My dad recently had what should have been his last colonoscopy (normally not done after age 80), but they were not able to get all the way in, and have recommended he get a second one soonish. They always find something to cut, so he goes every 5 years. He’s not sure he wants to bother. However, he did find out that there’s a pill, which costs about $100, which will do the job of the prep solution. Insurance generally doesn’t pay, but if he decides to do the colonoscopy, he’s going to pay for the pill. Friend of the family survived colon cancer, only because she insisted she needed a colonoscopy when she was not even 40. She had a family history. She’s the one telling my dad he should go get the colonoscopy again and take the pill. ---
**Author:** ![cincinnatus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cincinnatus/32/7990_2.png) [@cincinnatus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cincinnatus)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2021, 8:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-first-colonoscopy-is-coming-up-woo-what-to-expect/953639/52 "2021-11-06T08:29:17Z")
Remember the videos of the space shuttle launching? That’s what I felt like. And then that’s when I first met propofol. We fell in love immediately. You will, too. ---
**Author:** ![FinsToTheLeft](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/finstotheleft/32/2930_2.png) [@FinsToTheLeft](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FinsToTheLeft)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2021, 9:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-first-colonoscopy-is-coming-up-woo-what-to-expect/953639/53 "2021-11-06T09:27:33Z")
> [@cincinnatus](#): > > And then that’s when I first met propofol. We fell in love immediately. You will, too. I heard the anaesthetist say “You are going to feel something in your hand” and then I woke up and it was done. I wouldn’t say I _liked_ the propofol, I simply have an idea. ---
**Author:** ![cincinnatus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cincinnatus/32/7990_2.png) [@cincinnatus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cincinnatus)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2021, 4:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-first-colonoscopy-is-coming-up-woo-what-to-expect/953639/54 "2021-11-07T04:01:03Z")
Because I said I liked it, I should explain. Anesthetics had generally affected me poorly for at least a couple days after it’s administration in previous procedures. I had been foggy and listless. Not propofol. I would awaken and that was that. No after effects. That’s why I like it. I don’t really want it regularly, but if I need to be out, I prefer that. ---
**Author:** ![FinsToTheLeft](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/finstotheleft/32/2930_2.png) [@FinsToTheLeft](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FinsToTheLeft)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2021, 10:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-first-colonoscopy-is-coming-up-woo-what-to-expect/953639/55 "2021-11-07T10:55:23Z")
> [@cincinnatus](#): > > That’s why I like it. I don’t really want it regularly, but if I need to be out, I prefer that. That makes more sense to me. I’ve had a full general twice for knee and inguinal hernia surgery and a Valium drip with NO2 when I had my wisdom teeth out and I was groggy and nauseous for hours. After my colonoscopy I was alert and ready to go in 10 minutes. ---
**Author:** ![Leaper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/4bbf92/32.png) [@Leaper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaper)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2021, 8:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-first-colonoscopy-is-coming-up-woo-what-to-expect/953639/56 "2021-11-15T08:22:39Z")
In case anyone cares (apparently, this is a really common topic for this board and I should’ve just shut up and Googled everything, but it’s way too late for that now, so I’m powering through), my prep is pretty much done. The lemonade tip from **Senegoid** definitely helped, I think, as did being able to eat Jello (and anything of any color, apparently because clinic instructions had me take the second round of prep hours after the first). I haven’t, however, had to sit on the toilet nearly as often or for as long as I expected from everything I’d heard on the topic. That makes me a bit nervous that maybe I fell down somehow on the prep, even though I nearly killed myself drinking and eating Jello (by far the worst part of this whole ordeal so far, except maybe the hunger right now). What I’m passing is at least the color of the Jello, so at least I know that what I ate yesterday is at least flushed, but we’ll see tomorrow. I _really_ don’t want to go through this again anytime soon… ---
**Author:** ![Machine\_Elf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/82dd89/32.png) [@Machine\_Elf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Machine_Elf)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2021, 12:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-first-colonoscopy-is-coming-up-woo-what-to-expect/953639/57 "2021-11-15T12:26:52Z")
Has anyone weighed themselves before and after completing the prep routine? I’m curious how much the contents of the human GI tract weigh. ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2021, 3:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-first-colonoscopy-is-coming-up-woo-what-to-expect/953639/58 "2021-11-16T03:09:25Z")
Here’s a little advice for laxative use in general. Last week, my father was constipated, so he took a spoonful of milk of magnesia, and when he felt it wasn’t working, got a bottle of cherry-flavored magnesium citrate and drank all of it. Yeah, it cleaned him out reeeeeally well. Don’t do THAT unless a doctor recommends it. A few spoonfuls of that mag citrate, perhaps mixed in juice, probably would have done the job. ---
**Author:** ![jasg](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f0a364/32.png) [@jasg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jasg)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2021, 4:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-first-colonoscopy-is-coming-up-woo-what-to-expect/953639/59 "2021-11-16T04:59:08Z")
> [@Bonum\_Legatum](#): > > There is one colonoscopy joke worth remembering: The “Two and a Half Men” episode where the father is preparing to go through the exam. He asks the son if there are any questions, and the son responds “no”, he looked it up on line. Short pause and the son asks (squeaky voice): “DO PEOPLE REALLY DO THIS?” I prefer asking “Does your mother know what you do for a living?” ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2021, 5:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-first-colonoscopy-is-coming-up-woo-what-to-expect/953639/60 "2021-11-16T05:47:15Z")
Back at the big hospital, one of our technicians, whom we had hired right out of high school, asked me what a colonoscopy was. I explained it to her, and she then asked me, “How long is your colon?” I told her that in most adults, it’s about 6 feet long, and she replied, “Nobody’s going to stick anything up me that’s longer than I am!” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-first-colonoscopy-is-coming-up-woo-what-to-expect/953639.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-first-colonoscopy-is-coming-up-woo-what-to-expect/953639.md?page=4)