# My first colonoscopy! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 7, 2018, 2:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-first-colonoscopy/813758 "2018-05-07T14:56:15Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Doctor\_Jackson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doctor_jackson/32/32_2.png) [@Doctor\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doctor_Jackson)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2018, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-first-colonoscopy/813758/41 "2018-05-08T20:21:08Z")
> [@](#): > > My First Colonoscopy Sounds like the worstest child’s toy ever. ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2018, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-first-colonoscopy/813758/42 "2018-05-08T20:21:15Z")
> [@BrotherCadfael](#): > > Dave Barry’s take on colonoscopies is no less hilarious for being true: Install seat belts on your toilet… you will be reminded of space shuttle launches. I don’t know if he still does it, but he would send you a certificate for being a grown up after the procedure. I got one! [Link to column.](http://www.miamiherald.com/living/liv-columns-blogs/dave-barry/article1928847.html) ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2018, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-first-colonoscopy/813758/43 "2018-05-08T20:38:07Z")
> [@nelliebly](#): > > So why are we still restricted to clear liquids? Because it’s simpler than explaining a low-fiber diet to many, if not most, people. ---
**Author:** ![Yllaria](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yllaria/32/3452_2.png) [@Yllaria](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yllaria)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2018, 9:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-first-colonoscopy/813758/44 "2018-05-08T21:38:22Z")
> [@Tom\_Tildrum](#): > > Okay, I think I’m done with the seven years of red meat everyone supposedly has in their colon, and now I’m working on all the gum I swallowed as a child. Well said! ---
**Author:** ![Tom\_Tildrum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e95f7d/32.png) [@Tom\_Tildrum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tom_Tildrum)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2018, 9:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-first-colonoscopy/813758/45 "2018-05-08T21:58:23Z")
I survived! The rest of the prep today was not bad. The upside of a mid-afternoon appointment was that I had time in the morning for some water and some jello before going nothing-by-mouth, and I didn’t have to wake up in the middle of the night for the last bottle of laxative. **Enola** , the prep really wasn’t bad. The jello was sufficiently filling that I wasn’t ever really hungry. I just felt a little … out of sorts. The laxative intake was surprisingly minimal. The clean-out itself was disconcerting, but not uncomfortable. The procedure itself was nothing at all. The worst part was the needle stick for the IV. I turned on my side, felt the anesthesia tingling a bit, and then I woke up in the recovery area feeling fine. No after-effects. Two polyps. The doctor said they look benign, but we’ll know in a week or so. I’m probably going to get called back for my next scoping in five years. If so, I’ll bump this thread. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Sicks\_Ate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Sicks\_Ate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sicks_Ate)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2018, 10:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-first-colonoscopy/813758/46 "2018-05-08T22:05:10Z")
I’m probably going to end up having one sooner than later. My mom had polyps removed (non-cancerous) so my Dr. wasn’t too worried but thought I might be due in a couple years. Then I learn a month or so ago that my paternal grandfather died of COLON CANCER in his late 40’s or so!! I never knew why I guess… I swear I was told it was a heart attack. So thanks for cluing me in at last, parents. Or rather parent, since one won’t talk about that stuff. Maybe let’s talk about family history now and then. ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2018, 2:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-first-colonoscopy/813758/47 "2018-05-09T02:14:58Z")
I have an appointment tomorrow morning with my family practice doctor for a minor issue completely unrelated to this, and I know he’s going to get on me about this, because I’m 4 years overdue. I DID do a Cologuard last fall, and it was negative. Yeah, yeah, I know I should just go ahead and do it. ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2018, 2:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-first-colonoscopy/813758/48 "2018-05-09T02:18:13Z")
> [@Fotheringay-Phipps](#): > > There is some discomfort afterwards as well, since they pump you up full of air. > > I’ve had this done a number of times for whatever reason and every time, the gastro gives me this warning that in a small number of cases there can be serious perforations which would require immediate transfer to a hospital. I always ask him how many times a year this happens (usually once or twice IIRC) and what was the most recent time - last time, he told me it was the prior week :eek:. But so far so good. 🙂 I don’t remember ever hearing about this happening with a colonoscopy in the 7 years I worked at the big hospital, but I definitely remember it happening during a flex-sig procedure. :eek: I knew one woman who willingly paid an extra $200 out of pocket to have it done at the hospital instead of the outpatient surgicenter when she found out that the chances of a colon perforation is 1 in 1,000. The doctor explained that it’s much more likely to happen when there’s some kind of serious disease process going on; in her case, it was a routine screening and everything turned out to be OK. ---
**Author:** ![j666](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9de0a6/32.png) [@j666](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/j666)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2018, 3:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-first-colonoscopy/813758/49 "2018-05-09T03:28:22Z")
I found the nasty ass fake berry flavoring the worst part of the ordeal, and that is saying a lot. ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2018, 9:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-first-colonoscopy/813758/50 "2018-05-09T21:41:50Z")
> [@j666](#): > > I found the nasty ass fake berry flavoring the worst part of the ordeal, and that is saying a lot. When I worked at the grocery store, I was told multiple times that the cherry flavor was nasty, not because of the way it tasted, but that it came out the other end smelling pretty much the same way. I also heard that the pineapple flavor wasn’t very good, either. And I will NEVER forget the elderly Italian woman who, when she saw that jug, kept squealing, “Mama Mia!” :eek: Or, for that matter, the technician we hired out of the deli who cracked up laughing the first time she rang up a Fleet’s Enema, and saw the positioning diagrams in the usage instructions. :o ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2018, 11:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-first-colonoscopy/813758/51 "2018-05-09T23:02:58Z")
> [@](#): > > My First Colonoscopy > [@Doctor\_Jackson](#): > > Sounds like the worstest child’s toy ever. It would be worse, if there were pictures. ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2018, 1:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-first-colonoscopy/813758/52 "2018-05-10T01:08:54Z")
Got my information package yesterday. Was rather pleasantly surprised at the changes in the whole dietary / laxative process from the last two times. The first time I did it, nearly 16 years ago, the ‘cleansing process’ was horrific and long. That magnesium citrate shit makes me physically ill. Three days before: Low fiber diet. Two days before: Low fiber, drink 8 glasses of water, stop eating solid food @midnight. The day before: Clear liquid diet and laxatives. (I think those started like 3 days before, perhaps longer the first time I did this) 4 hours before: Magnesium Citrate. :eek::smack: Please, anything but that. I promise to be a good boy. ---
**Author:** ![Blisters](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/50afbb/32.png) [@Blisters](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blisters)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2018, 2:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-first-colonoscopy/813758/53 "2018-05-10T02:09:10Z")
My appointment is on Friday! ---
**Author:** ![Tom\_Tildrum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e95f7d/32.png) [@Tom\_Tildrum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tom_Tildrum)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2018, 3:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-first-colonoscopy/813758/54 "2018-05-10T15:09:27Z")
Go for the lemon-flavored magnesium citrate, and chill it in the fridge beforehand. I’m telling you, it would make a legitimately enjoyable whiskey sour. > [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](#): > > It would be worse, if there were pictures. The pictures of my colon were really quite attractive. Pinkish-orange, supple, and spotlessly clean. 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![Lightray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lightray/32/391_2.png) [@Lightray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lightray)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2018, 3:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-first-colonoscopy/813758/55 "2018-05-10T15:44:33Z")
> [@Tom\_Tildrum](#): > > Go for the lemon-flavored magnesium citrate, and chill it in the fridge beforehand. I’m telling you, it would make a legitimately enjoyable whiskey sour. And use a straw; minimizing contact with the taste buds helped. ---
**Author:** ![Yllaria](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yllaria/32/3452_2.png) [@Yllaria](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yllaria)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2018, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-first-colonoscopy/813758/56 "2018-05-10T19:12:15Z")
> [@Tom\_Tildrum](#): > > . . . The pictures of my colon were really quite attractive. Pinkish-orange, supple, and spotlessly clean. 🆒 Did you get to watch the video feed? ---
**Author:** ![MonkeyMensch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/82dd89/32.png) [@MonkeyMensch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MonkeyMensch)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2018, 9:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-first-colonoscopy/813758/57 "2018-05-10T21:03:33Z")
I’m glad I chanced upon this thread: I need to talk to my Primary and see when I should get scheduled. Not for my first: the prep is nothing, and I had them go light on the twilight so that I could watch. Great stuff and always educational…Ciao belli et bellae. ---
**Author:** ![Tom\_Tildrum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e95f7d/32.png) [@Tom\_Tildrum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tom_Tildrum)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2018, 10:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-first-colonoscopy/813758/58 "2018-05-10T22:19:06Z")
> [@Yllaria](#): > > Did you get to watch the video feed? If I did, I have no recollection of it. I was fine with sleeping peacefully. ---
**Author:** ![Enola\_Gay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/3ab097/32.png) [@Enola\_Gay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enola_Gay)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2018, 11:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-first-colonoscopy/813758/59 "2018-05-10T23:51:02Z")
Someone recently informed me about [Cologuard](https://www.cologuardtest.com/) & my doctor said that it is a reasonable alternative for someone like me (no family history or other risk factors). An option to consider for everyone who’s been dreading the pre-colonoscopy hell. ---
**Author:** ![Mama\_Zappa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/71e660/32.png) [@Mama\_Zappa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mama_Zappa)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2018, 3:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-first-colonoscopy/813758/60 "2018-05-14T03:36:37Z")
> [@TRC4941](#): > > You don’t have to drink the gallon jug of horrible laxative? That was the worst part of the whole thing for me. I had to drink a glass every 20 minutes until at least 1/2 was gone. Then I had to drink the rest the next morning. That stuff was awful. It was salty and would give me the chills. UGH. Not being able to eat was nothing compared to that horrendous jug of awfulness. The actual procedure was nothing - very easy. > > Good luck and enjoy! There are much more humane preps available. I’m a frequent flier (in fact I had one - my seventh :eek: - the day before the OP) and I posted [this writeup](https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=18167605&postcount=30) a whole back. I had actually originally scheduled it for March 12th… then emergency wrist surgery intervened, so I postponed it for the following reasons: 1. I figured I’d probably be on narcotics, and didn’t think it would be a good idea to add procedural sedation to the mix 2. The logistics of dealing with the outbound portion of the prep, with one arm in a sling, seemed a bit frightening 3. If I was still on narcotics, with associated digistive slowdown, I feared the “irresistible force meets immovable object” syndrome would ensue, resulting in my exploding and leaving a fairly nasty cleanup for the surviving members of my family… one couldn’t be blamed if they decided to simply burn the house down instead. As it happens, #2 was proven to be a real concern: I still wear a split at night and had not yet gotten rid of it when I took the morning dose. I regretted it. I use PrepoPik, which is a 5 ounce cup of something that tastes almost entirely, but not not quite, unlike bad lemonade. I alternated it with sips of sparkling apple cider; ginger ale would do as well. When you mix the powder with the water, it undergoes an exothermic reaction (gives off heat), which is annoying - as in, you mix up the packet with cold water and after stirring it up, it winds up just about body temperature. So with the second dose, I added 2 ice cubes to the water - which helped a bit, though it appeared to have slowed down the reaction: the solution is supposed to go from cloudy to clear, and the second cup never did that. It appeared to work well enough… I was having upper and lower GI (I have a history of reflux and the doc checks the upper every few years). My first conscious thought after “lights out” was to ask “Have they done the lower GI yet?”. When this got no response, I repeated the question. Then I regained more consciousness and realized it was a dumb question. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-first-colonoscopy/813758.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-first-colonoscopy/813758.md?page=4)