# My first TMI thread...or, where my best friend lets me go down on his wife... **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [April 2, 2003, 10:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-first-tmi-thread-or-where-my-best-friend-lets-me-go-down-on-his-wife/166064 "2003-04-02T22:12:51Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![stuyguy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ec9cab/32.png) [@stuyguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stuyguy)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2003, 10:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-first-tmi-thread-or-where-my-best-friend-lets-me-go-down-on-his-wife/166064/21 "2003-04-02T22:54:31Z")
My God, if there was ever a reason to use the bug-eyed, aghast smilie it is this thread. ---
**Author:** ![DirkGntly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d9b06d/32.png) [@DirkGntly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DirkGntly)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2003, 11:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-first-tmi-thread-or-where-my-best-friend-lets-me-go-down-on-his-wife/166064/22 "2003-04-02T23:03:04Z")
\*\*Phlosphr,\*\*Yes, I realize this is not “normal” by societal standards…and yet it’s not really as “fringe” as it might’ve been, say, 30 years ago. There are lots of folks out there now, who are “swingers” and go a LOT further than I did… …also, no children were present during the making of this post…(or the events described in this post) So, it’s unlikely that any children are going to be telling the teacher that “Bob had sex with my mommy…” ---
**Author:** ![Coda](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/5f8ce5/32.png) [@Coda](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coda)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2003, 11:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-first-tmi-thread-or-where-my-best-friend-lets-me-go-down-on-his-wife/166064/23 "2003-04-02T23:05:36Z")
**Dirk** Said: > [@](#): > > I will put in my $.02, Coda, in that a great many of the folks in the thread that spawned this one aren’t married, and have had multiple partners… What is your point? _ **"…aren’t married, and have had multiple partners…** _ - You are married!!! And unless you redefine the word “Swinger” that is exactly what you are. Please, at least be consistent. **Phlosphr** said: > [@](#): > > Coda I must say Happy has a point. You read the OP and still opened it. If it offended you … sorry but hey everyone has a right to their opinion… And I to mine. If the populace at large think this is normal behaviour please raise your hand. I have three kids, and have been married for 27 years, to me being unfaithful to my wife is completely out of the question. I am not saying **Dirk** was unfaithful, as he obviously consulted his wife. But I am entitled to express my opinion just as anyone else is. And I find it hard to believe other **Married couples** would condone this as being simply OKAY… Especially, with children possibly in the house. ---
**Author:** ![pepperlandgirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f17d59/32.png) [@pepperlandgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pepperlandgirl)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2003, 11:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-first-tmi-thread-or-where-my-best-friend-lets-me-go-down-on-his-wife/166064/24 "2003-04-02T23:15:07Z")
Won’t somebody _please_ think of the children! ---
**Author:** ![JustPlainBryan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/57b2e6/32.png) [@JustPlainBryan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JustPlainBryan)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2003, 11:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-first-tmi-thread-or-where-my-best-friend-lets-me-go-down-on-his-wife/166064/25 "2003-04-02T23:22:16Z")
> [@](#): > > And I find it hard to believe other Married couples would condone this as being simply OKAY… Especially, with children possibly in the house. Believe it. I’ve met more than a few married couples that wouldn’t have a problem with this. Once again you seem to think you are the end-all morality benchmark for the rest of us. You’re entitled to your opinion, certainly, but do try to not act so surprised that the morailty of others differs from yours. ---
**Author:** ![Giraffe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giraffe/32/129_2.png) [@Giraffe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giraffe)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2003, 11:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-first-tmi-thread-or-where-my-best-friend-lets-me-go-down-on-his-wife/166064/26 "2003-04-02T23:37:43Z")
What do you mean “possibly in the house”? I’m pretty sure the people in the OP knew for certain whether or not their kids were in the house before any of the oral sex started. As long as these activities are kept private, the fact that they have kids is completely and utterly irrelevant. **Dirk** , good for you! Nice to see that there are other oral sex adept guys out there, spreading the good news. ---
**Author:** ![BottledBlondJeanie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/0ea827/32.png) [@BottledBlondJeanie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BottledBlondJeanie)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2003, 11:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-first-tmi-thread-or-where-my-best-friend-lets-me-go-down-on-his-wife/166064/27 "2003-04-02T23:39:54Z")
Alrighty \*\* Dirk \*\* but I’d have to consider you a ‘swinger.’ No problem with it except for why didn’t you let your wife come watch?? That would have been more fun. It’s that whole consenting adults thing, but do be careful it doesn’t ‘weird-out’ your friendship! ---
**Author:** ![tracer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tracer/32/20578_2.png) [@tracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tracer)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2003, 11:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-first-tmi-thread-or-where-my-best-friend-lets-me-go-down-on-his-wife/166064/28 "2003-04-02T23:54:40Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by DirkGntly \* > **This woman was a very good friend to my wife, and my wife honestly felt there was no reason to be prudish about oral sex. Her comment was basically, “We’re all consenting adults, and it’s not like you’re actually have sex with her!** Ah, I get it. You yound whipper-snappers (nearly 3 whole years younger than I am!) are members of that hip new “oral sex doesn’t count as sex” generation. Dang it, why the hell couldn’t the girls of **my** generation have been like that when I was growing up?! ---
**Author:** ![Khadaji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Khadaji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khadaji)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2003, 11:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-first-tmi-thread-or-where-my-best-friend-lets-me-go-down-on-his-wife/166064/29 "2003-04-02T23:57:20Z")
I kinda have to go with Coda here. This isn’t penthouse forum. Every few months we stray into this sex thing. It starts out rather innocently with an oral sex poll and then we digress into polls about fisting and other things that most people would not discuss in polite company. ---
**Author:** ![pepperlandgirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f17d59/32.png) [@pepperlandgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pepperlandgirl)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2003, 12:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-first-tmi-thread-or-where-my-best-friend-lets-me-go-down-on-his-wife/166064/30 "2003-04-03T00:03:54Z")
So, how long has that gun been pointing at your head **Khadaji**? ---
**Author:** ![FaerieBeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e95f7d/32.png) [@FaerieBeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FaerieBeth)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2003, 12:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-first-tmi-thread-or-where-my-best-friend-lets-me-go-down-on-his-wife/166064/31 "2003-04-03T00:06:13Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by Coda \* > \*\* You are married!!! And unless you redefine the word “Swinger” that is exactly what you are. Please, at least be consistent._\* Well, to be completely fair, he’s only done this once or twice, so I don’t see that classifying him as a swinger. I have ridden a horse a few times, but I am by no means an equestrienne. > [@](#): > > \*\* > And I find it hard to believe other **Married couples** would condone this as being simply OKAY… Especially, with children possibly in the house. \*\* I am one half a a happily married couple, and I don’t believe it is **MY** place to approve or dissaprove of any action taken between Dirk and his wife/friends. I don’t make a practice of judging others. YMMV.:rolleyes: FaerieBeth ---
**Author:** ![JustPlainBryan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/57b2e6/32.png) [@JustPlainBryan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JustPlainBryan)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2003, 12:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-first-tmi-thread-or-where-my-best-friend-lets-me-go-down-on-his-wife/166064/32 "2003-04-03T00:09:01Z")
> [@](#): > > I kinda have to go with Coda here. This isn’t penthouse forum. Every few months we stray into this sex thing. It starts out rather innocently with an oral sex poll and then we digress into polls about fisting and other things that most people would not discuss in polite company. I personally take a pro-“sex thread” stance. There is a lot of sexual ignorance that needs to be dispelled. ---
**Author:** ![Purd\_Werfect](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/e47c2d/32.png) [@Purd\_Werfect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Purd_Werfect)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2003, 12:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-first-tmi-thread-or-where-my-best-friend-lets-me-go-down-on-his-wife/166064/33 "2003-04-03T00:09:36Z")
I would personally feel guilty about this, as I see fidelity not being based on physical acts, but rather on a sharing of intimacy, which is definitely a state of mind. In my mind, oral sex is an intimate act. So is holding hands. So are certain conversations. If y’all are okay with it though, then good on you. Everyone draws their own lines. ---
**Author:** ![Giraffe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giraffe/32/129_2.png) [@Giraffe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giraffe)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2003, 12:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-first-tmi-thread-or-where-my-best-friend-lets-me-go-down-on-his-wife/166064/34 "2003-04-03T00:10:55Z")
Isn’t that always the way? You start out innocently with some oral sex and before you know it, you’re fisting and doing other things most people would not discuss in polite company. Don’t even get me started. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2003, 12:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-first-tmi-thread-or-where-my-best-friend-lets-me-go-down-on-his-wife/166064/35 "2003-04-03T00:14:02Z")
Um, yeah, oral sex is sex. Fine if you guys are okay with it but um…ew. ---
**Author:** ![Geobabe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/geobabe/32/3908_2.png) [@Geobabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Geobabe)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2003, 12:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-first-tmi-thread-or-where-my-best-friend-lets-me-go-down-on-his-wife/166064/36 "2003-04-03T00:22:49Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Coda \* > \*\* And I find it hard to believe other **Married couples** would condone this as being simply OKAY… Especially, with children possibly in the house. \*\* You clearly haven’t read a lot of threads about sex on these boards. We have a significant number of people here who are married or in committed relationships who are polyamorous. It’s not nearly as outlandish as you think it is. Morals are not absolute. ---
**Author:** ![mhendo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mhendo/32/3159_2.png) [@mhendo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mhendo)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2003, 12:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-first-tmi-thread-or-where-my-best-friend-lets-me-go-down-on-his-wife/166064/37 "2003-04-03T00:27:54Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Khadaji \* > \*\*I kinda have to go with Coda here. This isn’t penthouse forum. Every few months we stray into this sex thing. It starts out rather innocently with an oral sex poll and then we digress into polls about fisting and other things that most people would not discuss in polite company. \*\* I must say that i don’t really think of Dopers as “polite company.” 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2003, 12:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-first-tmi-thread-or-where-my-best-friend-lets-me-go-down-on-his-wife/166064/38 "2003-04-03T00:34:49Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Giraffe \* > \*\*Isn’t that always the way? You start out innocently with some oral sex and before you know it, you’re fisting and doing other things most people would not discuss in polite company. Don’t even get me started. \*\* Huh. Seems kinda weird to refer to cunnilingus as a “gateway.” 😉 ---
**Author:** ![CastleAnthrax](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ecd19e/32.png) [@CastleAnthrax](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CastleAnthrax)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2003, 1:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-first-tmi-thread-or-where-my-best-friend-lets-me-go-down-on-his-wife/166064/39 "2003-04-03T01:02:24Z")
I guess I don’t see the problem here. Female Freind made what was likely a kidding-wistful comment. Male Friend agreed- okay, no issues between them. OP calls wife to get okay, she agrees. Nobody cheated. Nobody did anything that they did not want to do or did not have permission to do from the only other person who might have been interested- the uninvolved spouse. There were no children involved. This was no naughtier or more dangerous in any sense than any fetish kept behind closed doors. The only way I could see an issue with children would be if the OP had had intercourse with Female Friend and gotten her pregnant- which didn’t happen. I don’t see why they were even brought up in the thread. Some people’s hobby is making their friends happy. Some are goldfish fanciers. Some read SD posts they know will offend them. To each their own. HennaDancer ---
**Author:** ![Branwen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7ea924/32.png) [@Branwen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Branwen)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2003, 1:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-first-tmi-thread-or-where-my-best-friend-lets-me-go-down-on-his-wife/166064/40 "2003-04-03T01:06:00Z")
I wouldn’t do it, but hey, different strokes for different folks. I’m certainly in no position to judge. Wonder how much I would have saved on erotic reading material had I found this website sooner. 😃 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-first-tmi-thread-or-where-my-best-friend-lets-me-go-down-on-his-wife/166064.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-first-tmi-thread-or-where-my-best-friend-lets-me-go-down-on-his-wife/166064.md?page=3)